#EDIT: i hit post before i finished talking about my final set of edit categorization oops aha

[literalite]

literally just me talking about edit stuff because im in a mood

these r what i would call like my base level of ingame edits (i dont reallyyyyyy count my cas screenshots as edits unless i spend an actual amount of time actually working on them rather than my usual blur+chromatic aberration+sharpen combo) theres usually very little? or like no actual basis in the characters "canon" or lore like its just done to make them look nice. right. or like its fun lighting practise for me really. theyre usually pretty simple in execution like in the two examples there its just plain yellow background for sunny and the neon cross for vin so i have to put a little extra oomf into it because the backgrounds are like not super detailed so theres less of an "interest" factor from that so the sims themselves have to look REALLY good to make up for it. the ones i end up happy with though usually look really dynamic so it balances out

so these are more sort of abstract edits to me bc they have a basis in the oc lore or themes or whatever and most of my ocs have at least one or two visual markers (in the examples lucari or even just ari specifically gets a fair amount of celestial/sky imagery, i handled the colours here a bit sloppily but its meant to be blue and purple which are ari and luca's text colours, heiya's emphasis being on her muscles and scars and the clouded solar eclipse, redacted gets a lot of water/reflective surfaces/birds/rainbow flares?? and also lightning but that isnt being used in this specific one and sunny gets a fair amount of fire/smoke stuff as well as emphasis on primary colours like his more blue toned edits r usually in his darker stages of his life while warmer yellows means more positive stuff, red usually is just for uhhh violence oriented stuff) and like none of these are Actually happening. right. redacted isnt actually ever in that position with that era of hair in the water with the birds and sunny was set on fire at 13 not as an adult and they certainly never had a portrait of his family like that. but its symbolic, it means Something even if you as the viewer doesnt know it yet 😅 or ever aha

OKAY LOL I PRESSED POST BY ACCIDENT LOL but these are my full lore edits or something likr theyre totally rooted in the background of the ocs. like these are scenes from their lives for real. obviously i fiddle with lighting angle composition a tinyyyy bit to make for a more pleasing or dynamic image at the end but if my ocs all got dedicated like. movies or shows these would be ripped straight from the scene. i take creative liberties with some stuff but in essence these could be story posts (like the 3rd example with idris/redacted is literally in the story itself in one of the posts) the difference is usually amount of images in the post and orientation of said image/s. to me an edit stops being an edit when it has more than likeeeeee 4 images and then i will usually keep that bulk all in landscape or maybe one as portrait for emphasis. edits will be 4 or less and mostly in portrait because i want the less images to take up more room on the dash. the backgrounds for these will usually be way more complex like ill build a mini set or use existing sets for each one. i just think that ingame edits have a lot more capability than you might think (u dont have to go into blender for every little thing promise 🙌🏼) its just like. u can do a lot with this game i swearrrrrr just treat it like an art medium. im serious

ALSO the song almost always is sooo relevant to the edit i swear its not enough to sound good. i have to be unwell about it as well and it has to make sense with what im showing u

ok thats my random unrequested ted talk for the day im going to go home now bye thank u for reading if u did that 😁

#seph.txt #dances about in a circle this is more than pretty sims on a pretty background. to me. ok #EDIT: i hit post before i finished talking about my final set of edit categorization oops aha

[psychedelictrashpanda]

stuck in the middle with me

In addition to always feeling trapped, I also get to feel like I’m always stuck at a crossroads I can’t ever make progress in deciding which direction to take. With myself of course, is it fair to the other person for me to be dating in such a poor mental state? Wearing loneliness like an old familiar jacket, it just stinks sometimes, really need to wash out that old perspective and embrace solitary living -- I used to be so good at it!

Right now I could start up this t-shirt thing. Get a screen printing set up and actually follow through on the whole idea I started years ago but abandon because heat-press tshirts were low quality trash I didn’t want to deal with.  In addition to or instead of, I can also go the mushroom route. Practice growing all sorts to sell to chefs and such, maybe in the future land an opportunity to grow cubes as a legal profession.

Both of those are entirely possible and would help me immensely. But it implies two things: a definite move away from the company, which is gonna be another obligatory rift to deal with, and staying in Oklahoma, which at least would please the family and balance out that rift? Assuming I explain the other option is getting the fuck out.

I’m still considering the vandwelling idea I’m always building on that I’ve recently categorized as a dream because it seems simultaneously so easy and close to reality but far away and something I’ll never have the courage to go through with. It’s been in my head, well really since I was a child, but in planning mode for years now before it became a trendy scene. Now Joseph gets to leave for months at a time fulfilling the dream I had and it’s all fine and okay for him because he’s volunteering when he does it I guess.

I have to pretend I’m typing so my coworker, who is my old friend from childhood that I should be more happy to talk with since I don’t see and work with often, will stop talking to me and leave me alone. Should I feel guilty? After seeing so much Larry David, to be honest, heh, I’m starting to feel less bad about the things I want. Oh you know what that reminds me -- this thing with benzos I’m going through relates. Because I’m either riddled with anxiety and apologetic and let people walk all over me and am self deprecating and blahblah a lot of the usual depression type symptoms I suppose, or I take a medicinal dose of a benzo and I don’t take any shit from anyone. I think it depends on the benzo tbh and I’m about to try a new grey market one anyway so maybe that will work in just the right medicinal way that I need it to. Only some make me sort of cranky, and valium seems to be one I guess, but it’s also because at too low a dose it doesn’t seem to do me much good so I have to get to just enough of a dose to feel sleepy from which is also enough to get edgy from. But also, I always neglect the entourage effect, and I think it applies to EVERYTHING in life. Case in point, if I weren’t already depressed and in a bad place in my life, I wouldn’t get the negative symptoms from the medicines I need as much. (side note: no really I identify a lot with Larry David, and in some twisted way that helps me)

Oh okay yeah vandwelling. I really don’t like the term. Mostly because it evokes a hipster sort of image. And I will be that hipster considering I’m going to get a good start and I suppose by the bare fact it’s by choice and not necessity? Fuck that, this is that “worrying about what other people think” bullshit I’m needing to get over. I’m so sick of it. I’m so tired of worrying about my image and what people think of me. I think so low of me because if I were looking at me through their eyes I would think low of me, curse of the gaze of the other maybe if I knew what that philosophical concept meant specifically... Keep going off track. That’s why I like Zizek so much, totally identify with his ramblings that go off in weird directions and have weird analogies and whathaveyou. I’m feeling prettay prettay prettay Larry Zizek today. Or maybe I should be Slavoj David right now with his name first because I’m feeling more pessimistic ala Zizek than go-get-the-world ala L.D. God. This rambling. I want to do the vandwelling.... let me start ANOTHER paragraph on that...

I have this Ford F150. I’m super happy I have a newish vehicle now that I don’t have to worry about but it is unfortunate it’s a V8. Probably making a bigger deal about that than I should. Being a minimalist and really just living out of a vehicle should offset the carbon footprint of that big motor, which will make itself useful I’m more than sure. I’m probably more concerned of the gas cost really, but I have to figure out avenues for income to begin with while on the road. Being a journeyman plumber and having other construction experience, it shouldn’t be hard to find side jobs if I bring my toolbags with me.  Before I even hit the road though, if I can make it happen, there’s a lot I need to do: Get a camper top. Learn some new skills to carry with me on the road; I can teach myself the skid-steer for sure, maybe even a backhoe which would be nice. Also learn digital skills for online jobs; brush up on doing some graphics like posters or maybe finally the video editing. I have a ton of outdoor camping/hiking/such equipment from always planning on doing those things but never following through so I’m good on that front. Get prescriptions to the meds I need so I don’t have to carry benz and stims on the road. Make sure I’m completely legal but stocked up on stuff like kratom or cbd and such. TONS of Soylent, powder and liquid, or try huel for powder. Maybe some cheap foodstuffs too, cans and/or ramen, etc. Got plenty of reading and writing material. Need to get those last few things on amazon to complete the vandwelling electronic necessities and things of that nature.

eh I dunno maybe I’ma save this draft but I’m posting tonight whether I finish it or not. enough of this saving a draft for days, I should be writing more everyday anyway. ugh I forgot I’m coming in at four tomorrow. and forgot to mention I think it’s official I’m fucking done with this place cause I just can’t work with family. it’s so goddamn frustrating cause no matter what I look like an asshole. it makes me fe-- ugh this is a whole other post. I gotta work too early tomorrow for how much I’ve put into this so far. 

#tshirts #vandwelling #benzo #high #grass #poptarts