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bunniesandsilk · 2 months

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im fuckin fuming

someone just pinched my fucking soakers

i was in my lesson and some fucker took my soakers

i stg

new fucking ones costed 15 quid

#ice skating #dadcavs #ophelia rants!

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letsgetagift · 3 years

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Dad's Office Hanging Sign A hanging sign for decorating Dad's office. Features text that reads 'Dad's Office. Do not disturb. Genius at work. Thank you.' and a string for hanging. Makes a great gift for Father's Day and birthdays. 30cm tall, Material: MDF Dimensions: H30cm x W20cm x D0.75cm

http://nemb.it/p/ZrofDYjS8w/tumblr

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tbuttz · 6 years

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Me and @kevinkevinson are making a kingdom hearts Dad cave.

#kh #kingdomhearts #dadcave #nortbeach

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vukovich · 3 years

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Peculiar Prompt: Harry and Ginny tell their kids that they’re getting divorced at Fortescue’s and Draco is thirsty AF. Include stickiness for extra points.

Cream Your Jeans

"Triple vanilla. Two scoops. Waffle cone."

A teenage boy in a pinstripe Fortescue's uniform smashes ice cream in a waffle cone and hands it to me, his eyes on the door. A strand of bells jangles discordantly as I ease myself onto a wobbly iron chair. My focus is all on the tower of creamy, frozen confection.

Two things people get wrong are: ice cream isn't dinner, and vanilla is boring. Vanilla requires subtlety and care to be good, but when given attention to detail, it's excellent. Rocky Road is a cheap thrill in an alley.

And ice cream is a perfectly acceptable dinner when one is going to spend the next four hours in a pick-up Quidditch game. It is also acceptable when one is turning 45 and avoiding celebrating the milestone. Milestones and millstones don't feel so different.

The amount of chatter picks up in the small parlor as I watch the edges of the scoops begin to melt. They aren't quite ready yet. Ice cream with this high a butterfat content needs to warm up just a bit more.

Several chairs scrape at a nearby table, then screech as their occupants scoot in.

The Potters. The whole lot of them.

James and Albus salute me with cones of strawberry and mint chip. I'm not sure if Scorpius turned Albus onto mint chip ice cream or the other way around, but Astoria was appalled when the two of them ate an entire quart of it out of her freezer in a single sitting.

I don't remember the girl's name, but she chose vanilla, so she's probably the smartest of the lot. Ginevra skipped ice cream in favor of clutching a manila folder to her chest. Potter has his back to me, but the bowl in his hand looks like it may have Rocky Road.

"So, kids, I don't-"

"I'm not a kid, mum," the girl announces. "I'm 20."

Ginevra rolls her eyes. "Fine. Beloved offspring, we have called you here today-"

"To destroy the family!" Albus says in a bad falsetto. James elbows him and initiates a short shoving contest.

"Boys," Harry says. His spoon is standing upright in his bowl, and the handle begins to tilt as it melts.

Soft, cool droplets run down my fingers, but stop on their own.

Albus picks up the falsetto again. "To officially disband the family!"

James snorts and joins in, clutching imaginary pearls. "The horror!"

Rivulets run down my wrist, but I'm riveted. There had been rumors, of course, in the gay wizard gossip chain. Whispers of a certain Auror's disinterest in the fairer sex, though I resent that description. I'm exceptionally fair.

Potter runs his left hand through his hair, down the back of his head, and clasps the back of his neck for a moment. No ring. Not even a tan line from a wedding ring. No wonder his boys are so blasé about it all. They must have been separated for years already.

Ice cream drips from the point of my cone onto the upper thigh of my jeans, but standing to fetch a napkin would draw too much attention.

"Right," Potter says, flattening what's definitely Rocky Road into a smooth puck inside his dish. "James, the deed to the old property at Godric's Hollow is in there, if you still-"

"Yes! I'm gonna dig a pond!"

"That's... great... Lil and Alb, the deed to Grimmauld is in there, too. Just play fair."

The girl, Lily, nods and nips at the edge of her cone. "Sure, Dad." She shoots James a playful sneer. "We're going to add expansion charms and an indoor pool. Enjoy your leeches."

"I will!" James yells.

Ginevra sets a pile of paperwork in the middle of the table, and a content smile crinkles the corners of her eyes as she turns to Harry. "You really do need a better Floo name for your flat."

"Never," Potter says. "Dadcave is cool."

The boys groan in unison. Ginevra flinches, and a buzzing ringtone comes from her pocket. She takes a moment to read her mobile screen.

"Shit. Guys, we're going to be late."

They all stand in a rustle of clothing and scraping of chairs.

Potter stuffs his hands in his pockets and bites at the inside of his lip. "Is it really alright that I'm not going?"

Ginevra watches their children file out the door and turns back to Potter. She tugs his jacket lapels smooth and smiles up at him. "Harry. You are single on a Friday night for the first time this millennium. Go cause some trouble."

She gently shakes him until he returns her smile. "Fine, fine. Hug your mum for me."

"Consider it done." She gives him a long hug and meets their children outside.

Ice cream runs down my bare forearm in a determined streak, and I snap out of my Potter-watching stupor. Bloody fucking hell, there's a puddle of melted ice cream in the crotch of my jeans, and my left hand is utterly covered.

Potter watches his family through the window as they walk away. He sighs and starts to turn toward me, so I do what any panicked sane man would do, and Vanish my ice cream cone. Two blobs of ice cream splat on my inner thighs and run between my legs to drip on the floor.

"Malfoy, do you still..." He trails off as his eyes rove over me.

I am a goddamn one-man ice cream bukkake scene. Obscene white streaks run down my arm. Thick droplets plop from my fingers onto my sodden jeans.

"...play Friday night... uhm... Quidditch?"

Licking my fingers clean would be a spectacle, so I rub them together, but the tacky-slick rubbing sound is identical to pre-cum slick foreskin.

I drop my hands over my lap, but the pose feels incriminating. Potter swallows audibly and steps closer.

"I do. Seven o'clock at the Brockwell pitch. You'd need a black shirt and a white shirt." He blinks at me for a moment. "For team designation."

He bites at a thumbnail and mutters something that sounds suspiciously like "You look fucking good in white."

He must have delicious thumbnails, because he works at it for a good while before he speaks again.

"Have you, uhm... had dinner?"

I lick my teeth and realize I never took a single bite of that ice cream cone. "No, I suppose I haven't."

"I know a good Thai place near there." He rocks back and forth on the balls of his feet. "My treat? For your birthday?"

It takes me a second for the offer to register, and a nervous, giddy thrill flutters in my chest and settles as a warm ache in my groin.

"I accept. And dessert after the match? For your... milestone?"

Harry grins and tosses his melted cup of Rocky Road in the bin next the door as we leave.

"You're on."

#drarry #drarry fluff #tw: divorce #peculiar prompts

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ultra-catherina · 5 years

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Man Cave reclaimed wood sign. #Batman #dadcave #mancave #fathersday #geekysign #… https://ift.tt/2Z4uM1k

#IFTTT #WordPress

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amelialcpez · 5 years

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the kids were asleep and amelia was bored of watching the grinch for the fifth time today. she rolled off the couch and went into the kitchen to find all the things to start make sugar cookies. she gave it a small thought and went down into the dadcave to look for her husband. “my love, are you down here?” she called out, gathering her hair together to pull up in a ponytail. “it’s midnight and officially christmas eve. i was thinking of making some special cookies for us.” @drummerdaddy-braxton

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momcave · 6 years

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Saying NO to Kids | From the DadCave: ‘No’ is My Love Language

Guest post from Developing Dad.

I am spending the summer home with my sons. They are 5 and 7. I fully appreciate the unencumbered, freewheeling imagination of these bright young boys. I do. I say this as a disclaimer to be applied to what might be considered a hurtful thing to say did you not know how truly enamored and impressed I am with these children. They are the apple of my eye and the…

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#saying no

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legendaryladman · 6 years

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we brought #TheChopShop over to the homie @dadxgotxgame https://t.co/CrqCTSGGpO come hang in the dadcave! #vibraiders

— Ladman (@Legendaryladman) February 14, 2018

from Twitter https://twitter.com/Legendaryladman February 14, 2018 at 01:09AM via IFTTT

#IFTTT #Twitter

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bolinger4soup-blog-blog · 6 years

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FunkoPops anyone? \ #collection #mancave #dadcave

#mancave #dadcave #collection

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letsgetagift · 3 years

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Grandad's Tool station Wall Hook This hanging hook makes the perfect place for grandads to hang their tool shed necessities. Features three hooks for keeping garden gloves, tape measures, aprons, and other tools close at hand. Hooks come mounted on an MDF base with text that reads, 'Grandad's tool station. Put everything back where you found it' with two back hangers for easily adding to a shed wall.

Specification

Material: MDF & Metal Dimensions: H13 cm x W20cm x D4cm

http://nemb.it/p/u996oe0tcQ/tumblr

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letsgetagift · 3 years

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Dad's Tool station Wall Hook This hanging hook makes the perfect place for dads to hang their tool shed necessities. Features three hooks for keeping garden gloves, tape measures, aprons, and other tools close at hand. Hooks come mounted on an MDF base with text that reads, 'Dad's tool station. Put everything back where you found it' with two back hangers for easily adding to a shed wall.

Specification

Material: MDF & Metal Dimensions: H13 cm x W20cm x D4cm

http://nemb.it/p/k8wWowzg5j/tumblr

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letsgetagift · 3 years

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World's Best Grandad Hanging Chalkboard Sign A hanging chalkboard sign for a special grandad. Features text that reads 'World's Best Grandad. Thank you for...', Supplied with a wipeable chalkboard surface and a string for hanging. Makes a great customisable gift for Father's Day and birthdays. 17cm tall, not including string. Part of the Daddy Cool range of gifts and homeware for men. Material: MDF Dimensions: H17 x 23cm

http://nemb.it/p/=AmEOG0dR/tumblr

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letsgetagift · 3 years

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Grandad's Workshop Hanging Sign A hanging sign for decorating Grandad's workshop. Features text that reads 'Grandad's Work Shop. Specialising in mending, making, miracles.' and a string for hanging. Makes a great gift for Father's Day and birthdays. 20cm tall, not including string. Material: MDF Dimensions: H20x 30cm

http://nemb.it/p/S3rmWEnvRl/tumblr

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letsgetagift · 3 years

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Dad's Man Cave Hanging Sign A hanging sign for decorating Dad's man cave. Features text that reads 'Dad's Man Cave. Happily self isolating.' and a string for hanging. Makes a great gift for Father's Day and birthdays. Material: MDF Dimensions: H30cm x W20cm x D0.75cm

http://nemb.it/p/eKO_4rZrS/tumblr

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aaronkleiber · 7 years

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It's Grilling Season, Ep.82 #GrownDadBusiness

It’s that time of the year where everyone whips it the GRILL! Aaron and Jason are back in the NEW “DadCave” or “DadQuarters” or “FatherDen”.... (we haven’t named it yet) to tackle one of the grown-est Dad age-old questions of Dad-dom.... Charcoal or Gas!? Also: fave grill foods, grill techniques, grilling in the wintertime, past felonies, grill health concerns, Dad slogans and Jason shares the best way to grill some corn!

Sponsored by Ignite Hospitality & Mary Mac Bakehouse

Follow Us: www.AaronKleiber.com @AaronKleiber @JmClark8

Audio Engineered by Ryan Pahnke

Aaron Kleiber — comedian, actor, proud husband and father of three — sits with fellow Dad Jason Clark, sharing stories, experiences, tips, life hacks, parenting stuff, annoying articles, unwarranted opinions, wife praising, kid griping, culinary adventures, nerd stuff and too much about food - all through the lens of two Dads and sometimes other awesome guests.

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Aaron Kleiber, a nationally touring stand-up comedian and actor, emerged as one of the most in-demand acts, touring alongside Bob Saget, Jim Breuer, and Harland Williams. He has been seen on Nickelodeon, Gotham Comedy Live, Standup & Deliver, ABC, SyFy and dozens of commercials and feature films. He's a frequent guest on "Doug Loves Movies" and the co-host of the film review podcast "You Can't Handle the Truth." Find out where he's performing around the country... www.AaronKleiber.com

Jason Clark, married father of two, is a stand up/improv comedian, co-host of the stand up comedy gameshow, “Stand up GetDown” with Aaron Kleiber, it’s residency at Arcade Comedy Theater in Pittsburgh, PA.

Instrumental theme "King for a Day" by Passion HiFi @Passion_HiFi www.EvilTwinRecords.com

Check out this new #GrownDadBusiness episode!

#Dads Moms Parenting GrownDadBusiness

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