#Cats are a big deal in Egyptian myth. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eggysimblr · 3 years

Text

Eggy’s guide to Egyptian Pantheon.

ANUBIS: He’s a good boy, he Guards your tomb after your death. Also keeps balsamists from goofing up on the job.

BAST: She’s a happy Kitty who likes to party, she’s the goddess of the home, and, like a real cat, she keeps vermin away.

ATUM: The Big Daddy, who created other gods by jacking off. No, seriously.

SHU: Son of Atum, God of Air. Pretty boring.

TEFNUT: Shu’s wife, Goddess of Moisture. Yes, MOISTURE. Let that sink in, MOISTURE.

GEB: Son of Shu & Tefnut, God of Earth. He has a goose on his head. The Goose’s name is Steve (not really), and it has rabies (Propably).

NUT: She’s the Big Lady in the Sky, except she actually IS the sky, With Geb, her husband (And Steve the Rabid Goose), lying under her.

OSIRIS: You know him, you love him, It’s the Lord of the Dead! And Vegetation, that’s why he’s green. He got chopped into pieces by Seth, who scattered his body parts, then he was brought together again by Isis and Nephtys, got embalmed by Anubis, and avenged by Horus.

ISIS: AKA the best Mythological MILF, Change my Mind.

NEPHTYS: Isis’ equally sexy sister, she’s the goddess of... Death, I guess? And Magic, and, amusingly enough, Beer.

SETH: WTF Is his fursona anyway? A Tapir? A Donkey? An Anteater? The big bad of the Osyrian Myth, and the god of Desert and storms, and Desert Storms.

HORUS: Son of Osiris. Captain Falcon over here was a pretty big deal, he was the patron god of Pharaoh, and Egypt in General.

HATHOR: Horus’ wife, Daughter of Ra. Her fursona was that of a cow, but here she only wears horns. She also was a Party girl, and goddess of Love.

SONS OF HORUS: These rapscallions protected mummy’s extracted innards. And only poor Imsety doesn’t have a fursona.

RA: Ra-Ra-Rasputin lover of the... No, wait. Birb Boy here is Ra-Horachty, AKA: Horus LARPing as a Sun God. Ra in general was the Sun, and he had a pimpin boat in which he cruised the sky.

Khepri: God of the Rising Sun, His head is a scarab, because just like a dung beatle rolls a ball made out of shit, so does Khepri rolls the sun. Ewww...

AMUN: The big boss of Thebes. He became the main god during the Middle Kingdom. His name means “Hidden”. Good luck with hiding while wearing such a huge hat tho, idiot!

MUT: Amun’s lovely wife, with a dead vulture on her head.

KHONSU: Amun’s son, he’s the God of the Moon. He sometimes had a falcon fursona.

ATEN: This stupid frisbee with hands, is a result of King Akhenaten being a fucking hipster, and trying to create “A nEw mOnOtHeIsTiC rElIgIoN, Hurr Durr”. Good Riddance.

PTAH: Basically Osiris, but without a fancy Atef crown, this guy was the main god of city of Memphis (the one by the Nile, not Mississipi). He also was a patron god of artisans.

SAKHMET: Unlike Bast, this Kitty here is an Angry pussy (Watch your wording Eggy!). She is a goddess of War, after all, and somehow the Eye of Ra? I dunno, Egyptian Mythology is weird.

MIN: Basically Osiris, but with Amun’s hat, and a raging boner. Why he has a stiffy you may ask? It’s symbolic, cause he’s a god of Fertility, you pervert!

HAPI: The androgynous personification of River Nile. That’s why he/she’s Blue dabadee dabadai.

SOBEKH: The God of water, who decided to be original, and instead of being a furry, he became a scalie. XD

TOTH: Another Birb-boy, this time based on an Ibis, was the god of science (however oxymoronic it sounds), and was the one, who invented Hieroglyphs. Gee Mr. Toth, couldn’t you invent a more coherent system of writing? Because it’s really freaking difficult to read those little pictures, have you heard about an ALPHABET?

MA’AT: Goddess of truth and law. Her feather was not just a fancy hair accessory, but also acted as a counterwight for the deceased heart, during the judgement of Osiris.

TAWARET: The Hippo Goddess of childbirth. That’s why she THICC yo!

There were many MANY others, but these guys are the most important/interesting/well known. Hoped you liked it.

#non-sims #egyptianmythology #whyamidoingthisinsteadofwritingmymastersthesis?

44 notes · View notes

sirjustice419-blog · 4 years

Text

New ways dude

This motherfucker kept quiet since world war 2 but now wants to control every shit out of the explained in below tumblr a/c on how to make saucer thinking i sent to them all alone as on my FB and Instagram send to every nation, i search like with phones, auto-mobiles and airplanes to tell them since they have made the same they got it like you. Claiming Kenya is poor yet poor as they now liase to get to mars cultivate and bring food to Kenya via the fissures wanting many people to eat Ugali as much maize grown down there, very angered in their talks as the deal flops dude as Kenyans also long to make slim and sleek saucer jets to get to mars all alone to cultivate food crops and even cash crops they produce not like cocoa to stay a head of other nations like Ghana who produce the same and more as wheat and oil/gas to bring to earth claiming Kenya is poor we had not gotten 4 long how, Kenya is claiming to be rich than like Germany and USA as the truths are laid as explained above

Garbage can be used to make every artificial food like chicken and meat or more

that’s why is should be done by the city not any individual collector once artificial and gadget making techniques known by many as people being tested if can eat dirty food in roadside vendors to tell u, u can eat from that food made out of Garbage in the boom process as its cheap don’t cost them not, so wanna see if u can realize dude. Households can have mini-garbage digester as in the link below not to be collected by garbage collectors but discard the same on the sewer as it can be ib-built on the sewer line, so ya sewer line blocks not but keeps running dude

https://www.google.com/search?sxsrf=ALeKk01_4xXqDbcjuFVitU4vzVK2DLYhFQ:1596533627853&source=univ&tbm=isch&q=alibaba+mini+garbage+digester+images&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiNgIqen4HrAhXWCWMBHfATBIkQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1024&bih=657

Kenya got fissures to the outside land much more bigger than any other nation dug long time ago by the green man b4 moving to planet venus now as Earth citizens have gotten to Mars which along time was like a myth but now truth dude, as Sermons were green-man work left on earth b4 some skeptics changed them to fit modern reality and we are headed to affirm that truth when our saucers get to Venus to meet the green-man who brought black men to Africa dude to settle every dispute heaped on other people so they enjoy their lives fully dude.

With the dredger technology that can make holes on earth crust to outside world, the same above they can do, so make them get out of Kenya as promised land as like getting to the moon they can get to Mars to cultivate grains, cereals and cash-crop for their people as claim their spheres as with scramble and partition of Africa along time dude

The song link below tells us how they were directed by Kebi in times futurity how it will be, not the G8 nations now makes gadget, every1 who knows the truths above and even with military wear as missiles, so it will mean war dude, we will not relent and it will be an inferno that even the minds of Dante, Winston Churchill, Mussolini or starling will not image and we will fight to the later and emerge victors as the violent when young will take it by force dude lest u relent, most so Russians orchestrating dubious ways in Africa now like planned looting and hooliganism yet claiming power, thought it was just a song as they want other nation to place on social media their made machines which they will not though they got the same waiting 4 the above truths dude. I got no cash the as citizens place cash on that a/c, i campaign with to emerge ya Mr big man and recruit my people and u see fire even, USA, Russia, Germany and China bro what many in pretense are waiting 4 as telling me to look 4ward to when the have failed to listen to ya dude

https://www.google.com/search?sxsrf=ALeKk00unq9BsVtqKNSN_I6y5_8aTovqYw%3A1596532122723&ei=miUpX8HaK82JjLsP2aiAqAg&q=tuendelee+by+kleptomaniacs&oq=tuendelee+by+kleptomaniacs&gs_lcp=CgZwc3ktYWIQAzIGCAAQBxAeMgYIABAKEB5Qk05Yk05g8VJoAHAAeACAAd0BiAHdAZIBAzItMZgBAKABAaoBB2d3cy13aXrAAQE&sclient=psy-ab&ved=0ahUKEwjBj7DQmYHrAhXNBGMBHVkUAIUQ4dUDCAw&uact=5

Kitten fecal matter mixed with much water and even milk added or used acid bottles in the boom process makes Led ware dude and even acid batteries bro.

Sorghum as Kal in local jargon or yellow egg york,placed in much water mixed with soil makes that species of soil as even top soil dude and even Gold. Some Hybrid seeds we got now on earth are seeds of wild plantations found on mars 4 ya information if u did not know bro. Kal, mfalme wa yawhodi to take us home dude, the “al” sound, alah!!! exclamation mark, we did not know

Diamond purple 1 made out of cooked yam or orange/pineaple solution while the colorless out of white guava or ice where cat/dog family fecal mater placed or snake saliva both in the boom process. Mercury as well made using the Bringanya or cut yam solution where u place maize seed/cob or silva/steel ware as coins, inside both in the boom process and ya liquid metal

Other nations big saucer like Britain 1 must pass vai other air which will be brought down, so if ya nation landlock got to collaborate what is now happening with joining rude Russians or like with Britain 1, make it both a ship to get to the far ends of the earth not the poles but the pacific sides the fly it to the outside world which is possible when ya land is an Island like Malagasy, UK or japan or it has coast to the sea as with SA, Kenyan coast and any country coastal lands to make it to the outside world as with UK but without ya own submarine following the same it can be sunk with other jealous competing nations without letting u know as with thrown flyers with Japan bombings dude, so be wise and listen bro lest ya nation men rude and the explained above befell ya. As in the links below dude

https://english.newsnationtv.com/world/news/china-unveils-650-kmph-stealth-coated-flying-saucer-combat-aircraft-with-high-tech-missile-system-241154.html

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fi.pinimg.com%2Foriginals%2F86%2Fba%2F5e%2F86ba5e4c3409b9eae5acf6ee3aef4ef9.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F303500462365253255%2F&tbnid=dvs-NcPhFpuctM&vet=12ahUKEwi055yapoHrAhVNYxoKHVchCEgQMyhDegQIARBO..i&docid=uPuq68M2jXZdUM&w=1200&h=814&q=world%20%22nations%22%20with%20flying%20saucer%20jets&client=ms-google-coop&ved=2ahUKEwi055yapoHrAhVNYxoKHVchCEgQMyhDegQIARBO

https://www.wired.com/2012/01/iran-ufo-drone/

https://www.livescience.com/uk-ufo-reports-soon-released.html

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/globe-drive/culture/technology/jetsons-style-flying-saucer-may-soon-be-a-reality/article32468435/

Don’t write what in my tumblr a/c on ya new invention as many got got it as you as if u were my wife and we are in a sexual intercourse dude, U stupid Russians with ya saucer details as below, though u want to sit with me or if not bite my flesh out to get a taste of my blood dude synonymous with people even right here in Kenya bro.

We got now on roadside vendors cereals from mars or gotten from mars and even cooked counterparts so u stop and accept the truth ya deal now flopped so we all forge ahead dude, even in our shops and chain-stores all around the globe, Russian/German/Britain pursuits flopped as Much as Kikuyu ambition of jew/Egyptian thing, accept dude, so we move forward.

Nigerian made yacht in the links below though having other company fixed names as investigated not to upset many when still young b4 they make other gadgets that makes them per dude

https://thewillnigeria.com/news/enron-fights-american-nigerian-governments-for-proceeds-of-kola-alukos-80m-galactica-star/

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-07-03/remember-enron-its-name-s-resurfaced-in-a-luxury-yacht-battle

https://thewillnigeria.com/news/enron-fights-american-nigerian-governments-for-proceeds-of-kola-alukos-80m-galactica-star/

https://motoryachtsportugal.com/

https://motoryachtsportugal.com/yachts/

1 note · View note

a-weird-blog-in-general · 7 years

Text

In the Heights God Au

Yep. I went and did this, and it’s long. And it’s a bit of a mess. And long. This is going to be Part 1 of hopefully one 2, to avoid making this post too long. And of course, you are all free to take your own creative liberties with this; what I’ve chipped in is only what I’d like to see, nothing more.

Overall this may seem like a jumbled mess and I'm sorry for that.

The way I have it, each character is going to have their God based on an already existing deity/myth, and they all vary in origin and cultural influence. Cause I wanted to do more than just Greek mythology. They all reside in varying places in the world too.

Usnavi => God of Stories and Storytelling

Based on Anansi the Storytelling spider of the Caribbean

Resides on an a relatively small, floating island (it's his island), all pretty and stuff, and it's spider central (but like cute spiders not those big hairy ones Usnavi would probably freak if he saw one of those)

The spiders provide the stories Usnavi collects; if there's one he really likes he'll go out and get the story himself.

He met Vanessa by chance one day, had a conversation and hit it off and he fell so hard for her; he’s made it his mission to seek Vanessa out and see her again.

He weaves the web to catch Vanessa when the wind blows by, but she always slips through => he tries to fashion better webs; it never works out.

His little island tends to orbit where Sonny lives so he can be close and watch over little god Sonny.

Creative liberty => Usnavi could totally have multiple arms if you wanted that in a design; I think that’d be really cool

Vanessa => Goddess of Wind and Flight

Vanessa lives in the clouds and sky, that being her domain, so she can fly and be free.

She would be based off the Aztec wind god Quetzalcoatl => light and beautiful dress, but strong and bright colors and she's adorned with gorgeous feathers.

She flies across the sky, carrying the winds with her where she goes => She can just fly on her own

She likes Usnavi, and thinks it kind of funny that they keep playing this game of “Catch the Wind,” but once she starts falling for Usnavi oh boy => She blames Carla for it (you’ll see why)

Sonny => God of the Sun

He resides in an open tower made of clay with plenty of openings for him to fly out wherever he wants

Based off the Incan god of the sun Nuit with plenty of Inca cultural influence in dress manner => I love the idea of Sonny having physical wings here

Bright and energetic, a protector of the people, but hot-headed (get it?)

He kinda really very much loves the moon and wants to meet her and see her and have a conversation with her => Can't really have time to do any of that because the moon and the sun can't be in the sky at the same time; he tries anyway => Sonny chases Nina across the sky the moment the sun is supposed to rise to catch at least a glimpse of Nina before she disappears for the day

He'll never actually catch her, though

Nina => Goddess of the Moon and the Minds

Most definitely based off the Greek god Athena => Much Greek influence in design

Resides in a Greek style pantheon, which happens to be in a mountain

Sonny chases her to catch her, but she ends up falling in love Benny who does catch her

She wants to have some freedom from the confines that Kevin has placed upon her

Pretty solid relationship with Lincoln even though Kevin disagrees; Lincoln can always cheer her up somehow and does indirectly help Nina and Benny hook up (You’ll see)

Benny => The Mortal who Caught the Moon

He's a mortal who falls in love with the Moon, but he can never see her because she's too far away and he can't stay awake long enough to draw her attention

So he sings to the moon until he can no longer stay awake (Lincoln provides the slightest drop of inspiration, leaving the rest to Benny) => Nina hears it and looks for the source and she does find it => She leaves a note

Every night they leave each other gifts and notes and they slowly fall in love => one of those gifts is knowledge, specifically the knowledge of how to catch a god => using the other gifts he crafts a makeshift net, everything held together by a single string made of his love (Carla and Lincoln help with that, you'll see how later) => He catches Nina with the net, pulling her down as gently as possible cause that's a god you've got Benny a pure divine angelic being you better be careful and they're adorable together and they kiss, sealing a bond between them

Lincoln => God of Death

Resides at a shrine located in a graveyard => Graves of the Nameless; people/mortals come to pay their respects to Lincoln and the dead unknown => He takes the unknown deaths/souls under his wing because he can relate to their loneliness

He is the closest to the mortals and practically in constant contact with them

Inspiration from San/Santa Muerte with a strong cultural influence => contributes to his musicality and isolation

He provides the inspiration for music and art

He creates death as something that is not to be feared, but something to be celebrated => Makes that happen by connecting music and liveliness of cultures to the celebration of death

Kevin’s not the biggest fan of that ideology, and they disagree on the aspect of death and how it should be addressed

Abuela Claudia => Goddess of Heaven and Sky, Lord of Constellations, Mother of the Gods

Inspired by the first Mesopotamian god AnuShe lives everywhere; you ask for her guidance she will just appear

She likes being with the mortals, and often disguises herself as a mortal to check up on the world => bless those doing good and punish those who are not

She takes the souls of the dead and places them as stars in the sky

Also takes time to feed the birds

She foretell events that will occur, but she cannot influence the event in such a way that completely changes the course of fate

The Rosarios => Divine Arcana

Camila => The Empress

Kevin => The Emperor

Camila focuses on health and bounty, values and ethics => Kevin focuses on authority and control => Both serve as judges over the worldInspiration from the tarot arcana of the same name, along with traditional Catholic influences/imagery

Reside in a mountain which inside has the most palace (like a "King Under the Mountain" type of place) and in the center, there's this beautiful grotto and garden with an opening in the ceiling to the sky => that's where Nina is

Kevin built it there to keep Nina close and happy but Nina wants to be freeKevin has so much responsibility it can get overwhelming

Pete => The Boy who Calmed the Sun

Takes inspiration from the demigod Maui => Feel free to take creative liberties in design

Pete's a demigod (in some circles, this can be a bad thing) who receives a from a strange woman (guess who => it's Abuela Claudia helping out fate) asking him to seek out the sun => So Pete goes to find Sonny

Here's why:

Sonny is NOT happy that Nina and Benny are a thing => He's basically lost his only possible chance to have Nina notice him and boy is he salty

So out of anger, he refuses to obey any natural laws and literally starts heating up the whole earth => that's how mortals explain how the earth got deserts

So someone's got to talk some sense into Sonny but he won't let anyone near himHe gets help from Vanessa to be able to find Sonny quickly => Most Gods want to help Pete because no one is benefitting from Sonny’s heatwave

He does find Sonny, but Sonny isn't gonna deal with anyone so he books it => Pete finds a conveniently placed cord, uses it to catch Sonny and ties him down=> So Sonny’s floating in the sky with his hands bound to his sides and he is not happy => He desperately tries to use his powers against Pete in some way but because of Pete’s demigod blood he’s not really affected by any of it

The whole thing that happens is based on the Maui myth about slowing the sun, just without attacking the sun to the point of weakness

They do start to get along on the way back to Sonny’s home => Pete becomes the therapist friend who helps Sonny vent and talks all the anger out

They get back to Sonny’s tower and Nina’s there => she worked around a few rules to be able to talk to the sun => Sonny so desperately wants to be mad at her but he can’t => they talk it out, actually get to know each other, make amends, etc. => Pete you did a good => mortals and Gods are like “whoa damn man you just snagged an angry God out of the sky like whoa”

Carla => Goddess of Love and Matchmaking

Inspired by the Chinese god Yue Lao, who ties the red string of fate around those destined to be together; or people she thinks should be together => fate works the way it does => Normally does the tying after checking with Abuela Claudia on fate’s say in the matter; sometimes she gets an answer, sometimes she doesn’t => Only she can see the stringReally into knitting and crochet => thanks @boopliette !

Whenever two souls end up together, people normally blame Carla => they did for the whole Benny and Nina thing; she’ll never admit that she did tie them together

The two souls she ties together are supposedly soulmates => mortals don’t always follow what she’s made and that’s okay => sometimes people can be a little stupid

Likes being in the thick of humanity with Daniela, mostly cause it’s her job to watch over the soulmates she ties

Daniela => Goddess of Beauty and Femininity

Inspiration from the Egyptian goddess Bastet, Goddess of Felines, women, and beauty

She and Carla go hand in hand => Carla hooks up the people, Daniela plays out the game of life with the two

Daniela sometimes fools mortals and orchestrates the drama that entangles them

Protective of women, but she does it in a subtle way => Blesses them with beauty, gives them confidence, and tries to steer them away from poor choices

Also into cats

She prefers to stay around humanity for the drama; she likes having something to talk about

As I’ve stated before, creative liberties are open! Please, you have all the right to dabble into this with your own ideas and stuff. I’d love that. And hey, if you ever want to talk about this, I’m open for conversation. Part 2 will hopefully come with more of the world stuff; how humanity is, and other little things about being a god/divine.

#Ahhhh christ #this is long #and exhausing #but hey #now it's out #in the heights #god au #in the heights god au

41 notes · View notes

operation-hbd · 5 years

Text

Past heroes lore

okay, starting from beginning to end @ozmav

The earrings are made by a chinese wizard who entrusts the earrings to a trusted person (hey @anonymouse-thoughts can this person be their daughter? i want... im adding a few points that we left blank cause we didn’t think of all the transitions so correct anything you don’t like)

so this is the first hero, they have no name right now but we can figure that out later.

the earrings then go to a few less important wielders and tikki is not ready to connect with them after losing her first wielder. so they’re unimportant

then the earrings end up in Egypt following the salt trading route. this is when Khepri appears. lets say that the guardians lost them along the trading route, this will become a pattern.

Khepri is actually a side of ra, is represents by a scarab (a beetle) and is a god in egyptian mythology

in this, the scarab is actually a ladybug, khepri and ra in general, is the holder of the ladybug miraculous, guided by tikki, the goddess of creation.

she is fierce and uses it to bring many great things to egypt, she is proud and calm and wise, but was betrayed in the myths by Isis the goddess of magic. perhaps a magician fought her and defeated her. the earrings are lost for a time.

lets say the guardians grabbed it again and set it with, hipolyta.

hipolyta used it to raise herself and her fellow village women up and take over their village. They took over land and built themselves an empire. She does not like men, they are untrustworthy and try to keep women weak.

the holder of the black cat at the time is hercules, in the myths he steals her belt, in this he also steals her earrings. he then uses them to have the ultimate power, and makes himself immortal. according to the myths he was too strong to die and the gods brought him up to the heavens with him. lets say that by becoming an immortal he became like a kwami, couldn’t be seen by anyone without a link to the world.

the two miraculous were lost for a thousand years or so. The kwamis slept, they were too weak from the power of them combined to do anything. maybe at the end a spartan found them, or someone else, and they got back to the guardians.

the guardians hand it out again almost immediately because hercules messed with the balance and the miraculous need to be active to fix it. so it goes to jeanne.

shes of course a fierce advisor, never killed anyone but was still a terror in disabling opponents. she was wise and strong and no one was able to out think her in battle. the black cat is wherever, they didn’t want risk stuff again.

so when she dies some spaniard gets her earrings off her corpse (rude) and goes off to america. her luck is why they make it across the ocean in a storm and the natives get their hands on the miraculous without realizing the significance. This is Micazoyolin. they are great and defend their land and are overall dangerous. The cat ends up with them with a girl who helps out a bunch. The two are fierce and great. and then he dies in battle and the spaniards get the earrings again, briefly.

then it ends up in Mexico, i think, and Mariquita is there. a spaniard decided to assault a local and the kid that results is mariquita. they are great and anon can have more details for them... we didn’t think of much for them right then.

so the guardians finally get the miraculous back and they decide to take it to that nice secluded island where nothing dangerous happens. then ninjas show up and they lose the miraculous, and probably the fox too with how big foxes are there. imma say the snake ended up in norway for a time.

this is tentomushi, tikki and her get along on the basis that shes creating new ways to kill people, tikki’s a goddess, her morals are skewed.

the dutch end up getting the miraculous when guns get the japan, one of them use it for a little while i guess and then it ends up with the french cause they’re buddies.

coccinelle the musketeer gets them next. she’s a rebel who likes a sword, her a tikki have a strange start but they get along in the end.

the guardians dump the cat there again to try and keep the miraculous together, there balance.

so whoever kills coccinelle, who is a fierce rebel who will throw down with those that insult women, gets their hands on the earrings and head off to africa. The locals end up getting the earrings.

This is mudekudeku who tikki decides to help cause theyre having trouble. they defend the land for a while and deku is fierce and strong and bows to no one. does not like invaders.

the guardians finally find the miraculous again and take it through the ocean and immediately lose it in Vietnam. they suck at their jobs. Now they’re sick of losing the miraculous so decide to collect the miraculous all together. They find out that Bo rua is a sweetheart, literally the gentle heart, and decide to just have someone keep an eye on her and turn to focus on collecting the rest.

she’s an angle but like all nice people, is scary when angry. She dies at some point and the miraculous is taken back to china. It is left with Piao, the descendant of the first ladybug and the niece of a member of the guardians. She does stuff, gets work done, is awesome. they kick butt and when she dies the miraculous is kept in the box for a while.

then fu screws up, which isn’t surprising given the guardians track record. and that’s how the miraculous ends up with Marinette. really fu’s done a good job so far with only two lost ones, that’s way better then the past guardians.

Fu is actually one of the best guardians cause he hasn’t lost the ladybug yet. It is a requirement for when the past ones meet him that at least one comments on him holding the record for time without losing the ladybug miraculous.

so this is the history.

Then when the past heroes show up they start with piao, she shows up as marinette detransforms. they don’t notice yet. they notice when the second, Bo Rua, shows up when marinette gets to her room. they decide to go see fu the next day and in the night Mudekdudeku, coccinelle, tentomushi, Mariquita, and Micazzoyolin show up. they all go to see fu in the morning with antics of the past heroes trying to hide from people when they’re forced to follow the miraculous. while they talk to fu, the heroes give the best theory of the cure not affected the ladybugs except to heal, it doesn’t banish them, as the reason they’re there. it’ll require actual focus from marinette to send them back.

the go to school and Jeanne shows up on the way. the heroes DO NOT LIKE how everyone is treated marinette cause of ladybug, queue plotting time. Hippolyta shows up part way through and votes death, they have to hold her back.

the next day khepri has appeared and they’re trying to figure out how to deal with them and how to send them back. in the process they teach tricks and magic and stuff and how to change the outfit. when they’re sending them back, piao is starting to fade, the first ladybug appears. tikki is basically crying but is so happy. The heroes fade in the order they appeared but the first ladybug collects their kwagamata and fuses them with marinettes and says its an ancor. she’s the last to fade and tells marinette how proud she is and tells tikki goodbye, she never got to before she died becasue hse died in the suit so she kisses tikki’s head and wishes them well.

and that’s what we came up with in a sudden session of ranting.

#heres what we got

0 notes

allofbeercom · 6 years

Text

5 Downsides To Being A Movie Monster Nobody Brings Up

Being a supernatural movie monster, like a vampire or a werewolf, may seem like a sweet deal. Aside from being represented by some of the worst movies ever, you’re super strong, you live forever, and if you blast your music really late at night, nobody will have the guts to knock on your door. But there are some less-than-obvious downsides to life as a horror sapiens. For example …

Werewolves Would Be Allergic To Everything

There are many ways to kill a vampire: garlic, holy water, wooden stakes, sunlight, crucifixes, teenage heartbreak, etc. But for werewolves, there’s only one weakness: silver. They can only be stopped by a sharpshooter with enough disposable income to make bullets out of precious metals. (So … Texas oilmen?) But wait, who said werewolves are only weak to silver bullets? Nobody, that’s who. In fact, according to many myths and legends, the mere touch of anything silver is enough to slow down and/or kill a lycanthrope. Even in the original Wolf Man movie, two werewolves are killed not by gunshots, but by being bludgeoned with a silver-tipped cane, once wielded by an elderly man.

Universal Pictures “I TOLD YOU TO STOP SHITTING ON MY LAWN!”

To a werewolf, all silver is like kryptonite covered in acid. And that’s why none of them would ever survive in the modern world.

Silver is an excellent conductor, which is why you can find it in pretty much every electronic device you own: computers, cellphones, batteries, cars, light switches, CDs, DVDs. The metal is even widely used in mirrors, windows, and light bulbs. How many werewolves does it take to change a light bulb? Fucking none, that’s how many.

As it turns out, silver is excellent at killing both werewolves and bacteria, which is why hospitals make most of their stuff out of it, from surgical tools to door handles. It’s also why silver is being used to filtrate/purify municipal water supplies. Need a werewolf dead? Give it a glass of tap water.

Vampires Would Have To Buy Their Own Coffins

“Coffins. Coffins, unfortunately, are a necessity,” says Brad Pitt in your dangerously unhinged aunt’s favorite movie, Interview With The Vampire. But have you ever considered the practical reality of that? For the nosferatu on a budget, we suppose they could steal one from a graveyard, but it would probably be like stealing a used condom: gross and smelling like old stiffs.

Buying a new casket comes with its own set of problems. First, you’d have to invent some sob story about yourself or a loved one dying soon. We have no idea what kind of web of lies you’d have to spin for the funeral house to let you climb inside a coffin and test out its lumbar support. Plus, low-end coffins start at around $1,000, with the more pimped-out models going for $10,000 and up.

Warner Bros. Pictures “Do you plan on getting laid at any point during the rest of eternity? Then spring for the fucking deluxe model.”

Finally, there is no way you could get your new coffin home on your own. How do you even ask a friend for help with that sort of thing? There isn’t enough beer and pizza in the world for someone not to ask why you’re buying a corpse container for your own house. An online store could probably deliver the casket discreetly, but those deliverymen will also have questions. And you will not have answers.

Oh wait, “I’m just super goth.” Never mind, this one’s easy.

A Mummy’s Worst Enemy Would Be YouTube

In the 1999 Mummy movie, the resurrected priest Imhotep was the entire Xavier Institute crammed into one bronzed, bald package. He was immortal, super strong, invulnerable, could suck out people’s life force, turned into sandstorms, etc. He basically had no weaknesses. Except for cats. In one scene, Brendan Fraser manages to scare the titular Mummy away by showing him a cat. Imhotep takes one look at it and instantly bolts out the window.

Universal Pictures “Play him off, Keyboard Cat.”

This makes a lot of sense, seeing as how cats were considered guardians of the underworld in ancient Egyptian mythology, and Imhotep��s soul was supposed to be cursed in the afterlife. And today, all of us carry around a way to display lifelike images of cats at a second’s notice. If that ancient Egyptian priest rose from the dead in 2017, any old schmo would be able to stop him dead just by taking their phone out and opening up YouTube.

Stopping A Werewolf Would Be Incredibly Simple

What, you thought we were done ruining werewolves for you? If Hollywood won’t stop, then why should we?

Have you ever wondered why the Wolf Man remake kept the story confined to the 19th century and the countryside, instead of updating it to modern times and a big city? Because that’s what An American Werewolf In London did, and we’d like to remind you how long the titular character was able to stalk the UK capital, killing people: two nights, after which he was easily shot dead by police.

When you get down to it, a werewolf is nothing but a really big animal, with animal intelligence, and humanity’s entire origin story boils down to learning how to kill bigger animals. That’s why we invented all sorts of weapons and, most importantly, traps. Let’s say a werewolf was loose in your city, and due to immense lobbying from the furry community, we decided to capture it instead of kill it. For that we have bear traps, tranquilizer guns, those poles with loops on the end — you name it. And if worse came to worse, there’s always the nuclear option: a Super Soaker filled with tap water.

Flying Around On A Broomstick Would Be Crazy Dangerous

Flying about in big metal tubes powered by exploding dinosaurs might sound like witchcraft, but actual witches still prefer the old broomstick. There are some big problems with that, though: When flying out in the open with no protection from the elements, you face the same issues as World War I pilots in their open-cockpit biplanes, with bugs, fog, and rain hitting you in the face all the time. That’s why old-timey pilots wore those huge scarves: to clean all that gunk off their goggles. Interestingly, you also don’t ever see that on witches. Another thing that WWI pilots needed were warm woolen jackets, because it tends to get cold up in the night sky. And while silky black dresses are great for maintaining that “Bride of Satan” image, they don’t do much against frostbite.

So a modern witch would need an insulated jacket, goggles, a wipin’ rag, some kind of broom-mounted windshield, and preferably night vision gear. That last part would be necessary to spot and avoid birds. According to the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA), kamikaze birds are one of the most dangerous things in the sky, right after Delta Airlines, with more than 9,000 birds crashing into U.S. airplanes per year.

Witches probably wouldn’t fly as fast as airplanes, and they don’t have engines to wreck, but geese would still be a problem. Just ask Fabio.

Steven is a short, freaky — wait, no — Steven *writes* short freaky stories you can read for free. He’s also on Twitter and Facebook (obviously).

We can’t claim this is an actual magical, monster-killing device but it can’t hurt to have a couple around if you’re ever having supernatural problems.

Love Cracked? Want exclusive content? Prefer an ad-free experience? We’ve got you covered. Sign up for our Subscription Service for all that and more.

Also check out Realities of the Rock Star Life 50 Years After Fame and 6 Horror Movie Bad Guys (Who Have Really Obvious Weaknesses).

Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out 14 Movie Special Effects You Won’t Believe Weren’t CGI, and watch other videos you won’t see on the site!

Follow our new Pictofacts Facebook page, and we’ll follow you everywhere.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-downsides-to-being-a-movie-monster-nobody-brings-up/

0 notes

breazyvapors · 6 years

Text

Gods Of Egypt E Liquid (Salt Nicotine) Bundle (90ml) - Gods Of Egypt E Liquid

Vendor: Gods Of Egypt E Liquid Type: Bundle Price: 49.50 Gods Of Egypt E Liquid (Salt Nicotine) Bundle (90ml) - Gods Of Egypt E Liquid Stop what you're doing and check out this amazing deal! Gods Of Egypt E Liquid is offering all three of their juices at a bargain with this bundle that will fulfill all of your needs for new, interesting salt nicotine blends. Salt nicotine allows for more nicotine impact per inhale that will give you the most satisfaction possible. This line of creative blends is inspired by the myths and legends of ancient Egypt that you can't help but be interested in and drawn to. Give these awesome juices to try in the best way possible, with a huge savings! **These products are made with salt nicotine.** ** Recieve one of each of the flavors listed below** 3 x 30ml for only $49.50!!! Flavors Included: Raa (Salt Nicotine) - Gods Of Egypt E Liquid - It's good to be a god, especially if you're the king of all gods! Raa is the sun god and we all know that many different things on earth depend on the suns rays for life. With this wonderful blend, you'll see just why it was connected with this almighty diety with its unique flavor and ability to make your worries just drift away. There might be a lot of upsides to being the king but it's hard work and if Raa was a vaper, this is the number one blend that he would be wetting his wicks with. A sweet, fresh, minty mojito is given a touch of sliced cucumber to give it a really beautiful, nuanced flavor that will make you feel invigorated and refreshed in every way. Imagine after a long day digging at an archaeology site for artifacts being able to head back to your campsite and relax with an ice cold mojito. The amazing flavor that everyone loves will add something new to your collection that will be perfect for those days where you will be on the go non stop and need something that will won't overwhelm your senses and keep you feeling good. A very well made blend that has an authenticity that will have you impressed, Gods Of Egypt has a great reputation for making high quality vape juice blends that are made with a huge focus on ensuring that their juices taste as close to their inspirations as possible and provide a pleasant feeling going down. Wait until you see the big, dense clouds that come out of your mod with this blend that is fit for a king! It is going to be a game changer. Primary Flavors: Mint, Cucumber Osirus (Salt Nicotine) - Gods Of Egypt E Liquid - The god of the underworld is here and he's brought treats! At first glance Osirus might seem to be a bit of a scary guy, being the god of the underworld and all but once you get to know him, he's actually kind of sweet! The afterlife is a huge focus of most of Egyptian legends as it was a large focus on preparation throughout their entire lives, getting ready for the inevitable end. You know what they say, death is a part of life and the ancient Egyptians definitely believe that. A more positive way you can view this god is as one that's in charge of transition, resurrection, and regeneration which is a beautiful thing. This vape juice blend will feel like the beginning of your new life with its astounding, vibrant taste and ability to have you feeling as invigorated as can be. Imagine how quickly the pyramid would have been put together if there was something as amazing as this around back in those days. This juice recreates a mint, candy flavor that everyone knows and loves and is so extremely popular, it just flies off of the shelves. A vibrant orange flavor is mixed in with sweet, crisp mint for a blend that delivers both the taste you crave and the cooling sensation that will have you feeling so refreshed and relieved. It's no wonder that this is Osirus' favorite juice! It's so easy to fall in love with a taste that's so similar to a taste that you are already obsessed with and you might become so crazy for it that you want it packed inside your tomb along side of you. Primary Flavors: Orange, Mint Baset E Liquid (Salt Nicotine) - Gods Of Egypt E Liquid - Be taken away to a place so very long ago and learn about all of the mystical legends that makes it so unique and wonderful. Once you take an inhale of this delicious blend, you will be inspired by this land that has such a rich, deep culture and incredible history that brings some of the top archeologists and scientists in the world to it. Take some time and learn about the secrets of the ancient Egyptians whose skills and inventions were at times far above anything else we have come to develop even today. Baset by Gods Of Egypt E Liquid is the perfect juice to bring along with you for a day spent trudging through the hot desert sand in search of your next exploration, so fresh, light and packed with vibrant flavor that you will think you've just found an oasis. Hand picked, perfectly ripened strawberries come together with juicy, succulent watermelon and a hint of cooling mint to make a juice that has the perfect amount of flavor and sweetness while still staying natural tasting and pure. Baset is the name of the goddess of cats, she is a fierce protector who is thought to have been in charge of defending the pharaoh and her father is Ra the sun god. Keeping the pharaoh safe from harm was probably very hard work and you would definitely need a bright, awakening vape juice blend to help keep you on your toes. That's why this delicious vape juice blend was made to have such an invigorating and light taste that's perfect for getting you through long days with a smile still spread across your face. Primary Flavors: Watermelon, Strawberry, Mint https://breazy.com/products/gods-of-egypt-e-liquid-salt-nicotine-bundle-90ml-gods-of-egypt-e-liquid?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr #vape #bundle #save #vape #vaping #breazy

0 notes