#But yeah it kinda sucks the way there was like this massive negative reaction to his hairstyle when I literally can't find anything wrong | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thelostgirl21 · 2 months

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I'm late to the party like you wouldn't believe, but I've got to say something, because I'm so upset!

Okay, unpopular opinion, I actually loved Jaskier's Season 3 hair!

Was it always perfectly styled? No. There were a few scenes where I personally thought it could have used a bit more volume, or a bit more volume in some places while a bit less in others; but, most or the time, I was more than fine with it, and thought it suited Jaskier well!

At times, I literally adored it!

Ex:

To me, those are moments where I thought Jaskier looked his best in the series! Loved the hair!

Then again, personally, I tend to prefer Joey's looks with his forehead cleared and his hair longer.

Like, this is I think one of the most gorgeous non-feral hairstyles I've ever seen on him:

(X)

This is an absolutely gorgeous man, and I personally prefer his hair styled like this than short.

(Note: I'm not saying he's not beautiful with short hair, too, simply stating personal preferences. Certain aesthetic choices are based on comfort, too, and he can 100% afford to sacrifice the "long haired look" for something that makes him feel more comfortable. He can rock plenty of different looks!)

Then, of course, there's the feral look that is just in its own category...

So why am I upset?

I've just found out that he didn't wear a wig in Season 3!

That Jaskier's Season 3 hair were simply Joey's own hair that he had decided to grow out.

And look, I'm fine with everyone having preferences!

That's not my issue. Having your own tastes and not being a fan of Joey's Season 3 hairstyle is not the issue at all!

There were posts simply mentioning that they hated that it looked so flat, when we could have been graced with something a bit more like this:

And I do get preferences when it comes to styling.

It's just that I recall how - since people assumed it was "an ugly wig" that had been forced on his head by the wig department, rather than what they considered "a bad hairstyle" - the comments on "Jaskier's hair" were at times downright nasty!

And I just gotta get out of my system that those of you that have been literally making fun of his "sudden 4-inches receeding hairline" (first I'll have you know I find receeding hairline pretty hot!), when it's kinda remained the same for 3 seasons (it's called BANGS people. Joey tends to wear those with his shorter haircuts! Look it up!), for example, really suck!

His hairline has always gone pretty far up on each side, even in some of his earlier work... Ex: Gopher in "Mount Pleasant" (2016):

Like he's got very thick hair that form a "V" shape at the top (my mom had that, but I didn't inherit it... And we've got tons of hair... Like, a lot! * ) and a pretty large forehead.

(That's me at 18, and then at 28 - before I brought them back to a lower back length - but my mom is the same in terms of thickness, she just has that V in the front I lack, and it never receeded any further in her life.)

And there would be no shame in having thin hair, or any form of baldness anyway!

So yeah! I remember sort of heavily ignoring all those "ugly wig" comments because I, too, had assumed it was a wig (turns out Joey's hair seem to be a bit like mine, and grow pretty fast), and at some point you choose your battles.

Did I think a bunch of you were immature assholes for needing to hate on that "ugly wig" so much? Yes. But you find those in any fandom!

Personally, I thought "the wig" was awesome!

But now, I kinda regret not having taken the time to be more supportive of Jaskier's Season's 3 hair given I actually like it...

Because that's just a (very sweet) human being's hair, that was styled in a way that a number of people didn't like.

Again, zero problem for those that thought it was badly styled, and that the look didn't suit Jaskier!

Critiquing what you find a "bad hairstyle" is no cause for shame!

But, for those of you that took it to the next level with all those "ugly wig" comments, you fucking suck, I sure hope you've since found out that you'd been openly ridiculing a fellow human being's real hair, that it makes you feel like complete pieces of shit, and that feeling like complete pieces of shit is going to help you learn from your mistakes, before you start attacking other people's personal physical features in the future!

"Well, I didn't know!"

Here's today's lesson:

When you don't know, please kindly shut up and assume the hair you see is the real thing!

Or critique the wig like you would a real hairstyle, asking yourself "Hmm... Is describing someone's real hair the way I do going to make me sound like a bully?"

Like I said, I'm aware I'm pretty late to the party, but the the kid in me that got heavily bullied in school over her own hair really needed to get it out of her system!

#Joey Batey #Jaskier #'s hair in Season 3 #I remember Joey mentioning in an interview that people just kept “asking about the hair” this season #And most of the time it wasn't really a question...#No wonder he went “People ask me all the time: Wow! Joey! You're so good at baking!” I his video #If people tend to ask him questions that are non questions...#But yeah I'm kinda sad about it...#Hope the fact that the “hair comments” left him confused was because he didn't read the online ones...#Just had interviewers go “Season 3 hair...” implying there was something odd about it and somehow waiting for Joey to elaborate.#I actually saw one of those interviews where the interviewer was kind of implying there was something wrong with it #without explaining what was wrong with it...#Like everyone assumes Joey didn't like his Season 3 hairstyle and gets why they are all getting stuck on the hair...#So anyway he just explained the intent behind the look.#But yeah it kinda sucks the way there was like this massive negative reaction to his hairstyle when I literally can't find anything wrong #with it...#It's not even that far from his usual look (just a bit more ironed)...#The fuck happened with the hair...#My Post #My Thoughts

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waveypedia · 3 years

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omg a video about animal jam would be so interesting!! i played it like a lot back in those years and man the game changed so much these days and i also remember when all the new features like parties or diamonds were introduced and a new animal would come out it was a wild time and my first ever account got hacked and the hacker deleted everything haha anyways yeah animal jam is pretty interesting to talk about haha

yeah!!! oh man you were around for the introduction of parties and diamonds? that was before even my time :0 i remember new animals and parties coming out though! oh shit you got hacked? that sucks :( i got scammed a whole bunch, but never outright hacked. that's one of the things i would probably research and talk about in my hypothetical video essay.

what really interests me is the way influencer culture and a fully functional economy naturally spawned in a kid's game, to the best of my knowledge. everything seemed to stem from a furious desire for clout - the economy revolved around coveted items like spikes, which were just status symbols at the end of the day. they don't get you any money or anything, so... more obviously, the rise of youtube around that time also saw the formation of many animal jam youtubers, many of whom became very famous very quickly in animal jam circles. people would literally send them all their rare items that they would open in glorified unboxing videos where they would read an obviously rehearsed thank-you and the gifter's name, which i guess gave people the illusion of clout, even though i highly doubt anything ever actually came to the gifters. (my brother and i watched them for a time, since we were like "hey, new aparri upload" or whatever, but even back then we mutually agreed they were boring as fuck and stopped watching!) people would flock to their dens and around them in the hopes of getting their tag in a video. on the flip side, there were, of course, a bunch of small youtubers vying to hit it big and a bunch of people who pretended to be filming in certain situations. people would say they were filming to get clout from the players around them or to scare off potential scammers/hackers. and then there were scammers themselves only looking for clout! aside from trying to get good items, which ties back to clout, my brother did have a yt channel for a bit to very little success (which, looking back, was probably a good thing) where he exposed a scammer. the only audience engagement was the scammer themself commenting frustratedly on the video. since the chance of them finding this video naturally is extremely low, they probably searched their username in hopes of clout.

my brother and i went back and looked at some of the old animal jam youtubers we used to watch back in the day and see what they've gotten up to in the seven-odd years it's been since we checked up on them last. wisteriamoon, who's now in her mid-to-late twenties from what i could discern, became a regular influencer/vlogger. julian2, who was involved in a ridiculous amount of youtube drama (which is fairly par for the course for influencers but not so much for the animal jam community, especially the animal jam community of that time. i think it got worse after that.), no longer uploads videos, but his channel and more notably his merch store are still up. he also is active on a second instagram account to keep in touch with his fans. (this is worrying to me because he is a university student and most of his fans are much younger than him. besides they have no reason to be fans anymore since he's not actually uploading content?? it's very suspect.) that brings me to another interesting point - most of the majorly successful youtubers were older teenagers, which is much older than animal jam's target audience. it got to the point where animal jam created an entire spinoff game, fer.al (which is actually kinda fun), aimed at an older userbase. the majority of their fans were probably mostly preteens.

then there's the economy system, and the strictness with which the players upheld it. people would go to such great lengths to game the system and cheat other players out of good items, such as scamming and even hacking. although other games like this had items you could buy and even trading systems (iirc), i cannot recall any other game with an economy and culture of this significance and scale. (of course if this were a real video essay i'd need to do a lot more research on this claim.) it consumed most players to the extent where almost no one played the game for its intended purpose - learning about animals and nature, hence the partnership with national geographic that eventually got terminated because kids weren't engaging correctly (i'm guessing). after that, it mostly went downhill, with ajhq trying to varying degrees of success to mine money through memberships and diamonds off of their userbase. it went to the extent where animal jam went through a real-life equivalent of inflation when ajhq reintroduced spikes to circulation in adventure prizes. that sparked a massive negative reaction. it's kind of crazy how passionate we all were about it.

there are also other things, like the really extravagant and serious warrior cats and general anthro roleplays (that seem to have died off in recent years for some reason) and all the notorious hackings, like fman122. there's also probably a whole slew of recent (as in, the past five years) stuff i have no idea about. it's just fascinating. and this is literally all from memory. god an entire, fully-researched video essay has so much potential.

sorry for rambling haha

#my asks #bluebellthesponge #animal jam #wavey speaks #can you tell i hyperfixated on animal jam when i was 10? because i can #i have also been watching video essays all day which probably influenced this quite a bit

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dgcatanisiri · 3 years

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So... something kinda hit me abruptly and pushed me to feeling about ready to snap, so... Have a word vomit. Kinda feels like a greatest hits compilation of my “another angry queer rant” tag, but I need to get it out, so...

I know I’ve been over plenty about how I don’t feel represented even when I have something with gay representation. How I’d give dozens of Dorians and Iron Bulls to get even one run of Inquisition that properly has my male Inquisitor romance Cullen. How when I look at Mass Effect - this franchise that I love - I can only see how much it hates me for being a gay man who dares to seek content for me. How godawful it is that Gil’s story, a story that is explicitly a story centered on a gay man and the difficulties he faces BECAUSE of being gay, was written by a straight person who ABSOLUTELY does not GET. IT. And how fandom as an entity sucks, because so often it feels like the attitude of the people in it comes across as telling me that my desire to be represented in my media somehow comes in second to celebrating the advances solely for women, that my needs as a queer MAN (the emphasis usually theirs) are less important, because I can still see myself AS A MAN in other characters throughout media.

But... That doesn’t change the fact that this is a very real, very tangible THING for me to grapple with. And sometimes it feels like no one ever, EVER talks about this.

I mean, my go-to example is that after Inquisition dropped, you could not say A WORD in criticism of Dorian without people jumping down your throat, chomping at the bit to call you a homophobe for it. No matter what reason - but ESPECIALLY if you thought he was “too stereotypical” - you got hit with that label. Even if you were gay yourself, it was just your “internalized homophobia” that made you dislike him, or even being biased against the people who genuinely do lean in to the stereotypes, don’t they deserve representation too?!

Well, yeah. It’s not like I was saying they don’t. But that it’s a stereotype means it’s often still in media, still often THERE. It’s not always good representation, but it’s something. Meanwhile for those of us who AREN’T? It just meant further exclusion from the narratives. A continuation of our invisibility.

And sure, one queer character cannot represent every queer person, one individual who embodies one letter of the alphabet soup cannot be everything to everyone under that individual label. But, again, it still means that I don’t get to see myself.

If media representation is a life preserver, then I’m getting pulled out to sea while the lifeguards are busy with people who are closer to them than I am. Which, you can call it triage, cast the widest net to hope to get the most people, but when you’re one of those who are not even able to grab on to the net and use it to pull yourself closer, it’s not helping. And, because they’re focused on those who have grabbed on to the net, your struggle continues to be ignored.

Worse, sometimes they aren’t factoring you in the net they’re throwing (yes, I’m aware my metaphor is getting increasingly strained, just work with me here) because they think you’re not in the trouble they think others are - if you can “pass” as cishet, if you can exist without actively fearing for your safety, if you are the kind of person who can walk down the street and not expect to be harassed because you “present” gay, then you’re not as in need as those people who can’t, who are going to be threatened for existing while visibly queer.

But the truth is that you’re still suffering. I’m not gonna get in to the whole oppression Olympics nature of it all, but there is an element that those of us who “pass” as being “straight-acting” (and, for the record, I think these terms are bogus and bullshit, but I’m using them for the sake of simplicity in getting my message across, because I’m stream of consciousnessing this post instead of going to bed so you’re getting babble and word vomit so that this isn’t playing on a loop as I try and sleep) suffer that... I’m not going to say that it makes it worse, but it does have this level of SOMETHING that is a unique pain that you aren’t going to find from the people who are visibly and noticeably queer at a glance - it’s not just isolation, because this is something that you end up not talking about because no one around you realizes that you are queer, but also this voice in the back of your mind that starts questioning “are you REALLY queer? Are you queer ENOUGH?”

And that’s why it hurts that little bit more, is that much more a twist of the knife, when I see these people who push the “joke” of like “why did they even HAVE male Shepard?” or “the only way to play is as Kassandra.” Because it does reinforce this idea - that there is this attitude of this thing, this character that I was seeing as representation doesn’t matter. So that I take strength in that character, well, that’s just me latching on to REPRESENTATION AS A MAN, and we’re not here to protect your fragile masculine ego.

When all I’m looking for is a queer man like I am.

And sometimes, I don’t even feel like the other queer men I can look to get it. Like, there was that time about a year ago that I looked up issues of queer men in video games, and the three videos I found all got an “...and NOPE!” reaction from me - the first argued in math about how “queer people are a small portion of the population, we can’t realistically expect to be represented equally,” even though we’re talking about FICTION, which is, by definition, NOT reality, the second was clearly a cishet who compared not being represented as a queer person to not being represented as a Swedish person, and then a third who first had a thumbnail on a video of “good and bad representation” and Kaidan was the example of bad (so a negative mark against this video to begin with, but I was desperate), only to lead with Dorian as a good example, which... *vague motion above and at the “dorian critical” tag* I staunchly disagree with this stance.

Like... I have to struggle to think of who my role models in being a queer man are. It’s not just who fits my story, but who do I look up to, who inspires me. And, admittedly, the luster for any personal hero seems to inevitable wear off at this point, I’m in my early thirties, and most of the media I consume will have characters who are my age or younger PERIOD, so my queer heroes would have to be people I’d consider either peers or even someone who I am older than...

But then, that’s kinda the thing about being queer period - we lost a generation to AIDS, and for those who followed that generation, we’ve had to live in this world where our heroes don’t exist like us, while trying to pave the way for those who come after us, and who can’t conceive of what it is like to age - as in “go from adulthood to middle age to elder,” not just the matter of growing up from childhood to adulthood - and so even as they’re the one who we want to give all of this to... It still means we suffer because no one is there to offer US that hand.

And yet, try to explain this to media creators, and you get ignored or even shut down. Like, I about a year ago, I directly replied to tweet from Patrick Weekes, explaining how Inquisition failed me, how all bi LIs actually HELP me feel more represented as a queer person than the mix of sexualities that BioWare on the whole has said that they intend to do (re: the difference of LIs in DA2 and Dragon Age Inquisition). It got no response, not even a like to indicate that it’d been read by them. I could form in my head the response I’d have inevitably gotten from David Gaider when he still had an active Tumblr of what would amount to, nicest, “we cannot please everyone, enough people were moved by Dorian’s story to make it worthwhile, sorry.” Given some of my cynicism, I can’t help but believe that it would also have come with a “sorry you feel that way.” Particularly considering some of the comments he’s made about Cullen and Kaidan as LIs, both of whom being characters I connect to more than others in their respective games...

And like... Gaider is a gay man. Weekes is nonbinary. But they are from that generation who view being able to exist openly as queer as a revolutionary statement, which... It’s a statement I want to make, sure, but it’s not a revolutionary one to me - “existence” is the bare minimum. To me, focusing on existence as a queer person is to say that the queer character must justify existing as queer in order to be a part of the narrative. But what is revolutionary to me is to give the queer person a story in the narrative that has NOTHING to do with their queerness.

Like... Fantasy world here, Inquisition drops with Cullen and Cassandra as same-sex exclusive LIs, while every other aspect of their stories are the same. Women can’t romance Cullen, Men can’t romance Cassandra. Other than that, we have Cullen with his addiction/redemption arc and Cassandra not just struggling with her faith but even getting the chance to be Divine. Yes, fandom would FLIP. THE FUCK. OUT. But here’s what it says - the things that these characters go through in the course of the game are not defined by their sexuality. Hell, with these characters specifically, you get characters with MASSIVE relevance to queer stories that AREN’T exclusive to being queer - addiction is a real issue in queer communities, given how many of our safe spaces are bars or clubs, places where alcohol (and thus alcohol abuse) is easily obtained, and, by extension, drugs as well. Meanwhile, there are SCORES of queer people who struggle with the question of faith in the wake of their queerness manifesting.

THAT is revolutionary. To take these stories that straight people get all the time, that certainly have meaning as queer stories for the queer audience... And yet, when they go to these (hypothetically) queer characters, it has that subtext without making the story ABOUT their queerness, while still making it clear that, in this version of things, they are queer - players couldn’t pretend that it’s only in some parallel universe that they are queer, they would only be attracted to the same sex PC. THAT is revolutionary.

Or, y’know, take it back beyond BioWare for a little bit here - all the characters I feel the most connection to emotionally in TV shows are straight. All these men who are my role models only ever get shown being involved with women. At most, they’ll get queerbaited as MAYBE being queer, if you just keep watching! Inevitably, of course, they are not queer by the end of the show - the closest to date is the debacle that is Supernatural.

Yeah, there’s representation for ya.

And then there are those who end up looking at what I see as thoroughly inadequate and... They’re happy. They praise it. They look at this thing that hurts me, that excludes me, that can, when I’m in the bad headspaces, even make me question myself... And they have found something they like with it.

Which, for the record, good for them, genuinely and sincerely, I really am glad that someone is getting something out of this, but... Well, see above: life preserver, isolation, “sorry you feel that way.” Everyone else is getting what they needed, but what about me? When does my representation get to appear? Why am I always being left, scrounging for the scraps of the scraps? Why does other peoples’ representation always seem to get shoved to the front of the line, leaving me languishing in the back.

That’s the real thing about all of those lines of “if you don’t like it, go make your own!” At this point, even if I did manage to get something in my to-write folder cleaned up and ready to go, in reality... How am I supposed to feel like anyone other than me WOULD proceed to read it? That the audience would exist? Because... no one seems to care about this audience. Hell, how would I get anyone to publish it if it is only going to appeal to me?

I feel on the margins of the margins, where no one really cares. Hell, even here in my own blog, I feel afraid of backlash - I’ve had the assholes show up in response to like little brief comments that are off-the-cuff rambles, not worded in a way that makes them a full, detailed accounting, and either take them as evidence that I, personally, represent all that is wrong with fandom at large, or that I am a target for their trolling. Because saying that “I find the jokes about male Shepard not mattering to be diminishing of me as a queer person, can we please stop this?” is somehow not just lesbophobic, but VIOLENTLY lesbophobic. Or that saying that I don’t care that bad things happen to a fictional species is somehow advocating for violence against actual women. Or even explicitly calling out BioWare for lovingly lingering the camera on Miranda’s ass is slutshaming her. And of course, there are the assholes who responded to me saying on the BioWare Twitter announcement post for the Legendary Edition that, if it didn’t have a full trilogy male Shepard/Kaidan romance, I wasn’t buying it, and proceeded to a) call me entitled for it (like, read a dictionary, the very fact that I have to call for this content that doesn’t exist in the game proper is the OPPOSITE of entitlement...), b) tell me that I “shouldn’t deny [myself] a great story just because it doesn’t have gay people in it” and c) just generally be homophobic. Even in rolling with it on the basis of “the trolls are gonna show up period if you make it clear that you care about something, especially if you are trying to get representation for some group that is in the minority... It gets exhausting. It can be harmful. It makes it clear that you’re not welcome, even when you’re supposedly united by the fact that you and these people supposedly love the same piece of media.

I mean, among those examples, I’ve given the statements that inspired those responses no tags other than my own organizational tags, but SOMEHOW they find me anyway, so it wouldn’t surprise me if I got accused of like being another White Gay™ with this post, that I simply want to center the conversation wholly on myself at the expense of all other intersections of queerness and other identities or something for saying all of this, even though this is, and it says so from the start, a vent post, which, by definition, is centered on myself because it’s about me and my experiences and emotions. *sigh*

Anyway...

And, y’know, when BioWare actively refuses to even ACKNOWLEDGE that the absence of a full trilogy M/M romance option is a bad thing, it just ends up saying that the trolls are actually the audience they’re willing to court. That Supernatural ending with a brothers only focus that doesn’t even allow Cas to be mentioned other than offhandedly while suppressing ANY kind of emotional fallout to his admission of love says that they don’t care about the queer people who at the very least the actor was trying to be respectful and representative of. That every piece of media that says that to have a queer person in it, their presence must be explained and justified is saying that there needs to be a REASON for queerness, a reason that is not “because people are queer, and queer people come in as many stripes as cishet people, and so media should reflect that spectrum just as much.”

Even when the numbers of queer characters in media goes up, it doesn’t really move the needle. And that’s not even getting to the difficulties when you are any mix-and-match combo under the queer umbrella, or any other identity that intersects to marginalize someone in our society. It just...

Y’know, it doesn’t feel like “it gets better.” Rather it just feels like being stuck in position, just with a changing backdrop. Sure, things look different by the end of the day, but that doesn’t change that you’re not getting anywhere.

#dg gets personal #another angry queer rant

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musical-nerd18 · 3 years

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Shower Thoughts, to Love, and Back Again

!! gift exchange for @sanderssidesgiftxchange posting time! mines for @anxious-cherryblossom who requested “ A fluff oneshot of LAMP, Analogical or Royality! The tooth-rottier the better”

Summery: Logan and Virgil are awake at 1am. Virgil handles this by throwing out some random thoughts and being sappy, it's cute, I'm bad at summaries.

read on AO3 HERE

there is very very minor of talk about death and blood but its like one line of dialogue each ashjadbawkjaa theres also a smidge of angst whoops its cleared up real quick tho

or! its under the read more!

“Hey, Logan?” When there was no response, the emo gently poked the man lying next to him on the shoulder. “Logan.” Still nothing, Virgil poked a little harder. “Logan. Babe.”

Finally, Logan stirred, “Virgil?” He turned to look at the emo, squinting his eyes a bit. “What are you doing up?”

“Logan. Okay, have you ever thought about how at the end of the day, we’re just brains trapped inside a meat suit?”

“...Virgil, I love you, but what the fuck? Where on earth did that come from?”

“I’m tired, Logan, what are you expecting from me.”

“Okay, well, Virgil, could you please tell your meat suit to go to bed, because it’s one in the goddamn morning, and I would like to go back to sleep.”

Virgil looked a bit sheepish, “Ok, so, I get that, but also, like, anxiety says fuck that so…” Logan sighed, sitting up, knowing he’d be unable to sleep until his boyfriend managed to calm himself. “Ever think about how if you live on a farm and take care of chickens for a living, how that makes you a chicken tender?”

“You’ve been spending far too much time with Remus.”

“You’re probably right, but also, like, have you seen his face when you tell him no? He looks like a kicked puppy or some shit, how can you say no to that face looking right at you? How, Logan?”

Logan sighed, gently shaking his head. “It wasn’t intended to be an insult toward either of you, simply just an observation. I’m well aware that you and Remus see each other as brothers, of sorts, and who am I to take that away from either of you?”

“Cool cool cool, also, humans are frozen.”

There was silence. “I’m sorry, dear, what?”

“Well, you have a liquid, ok? So if you take that liquid and change it into a solid, you do that by freezing it, right? So if you have a solid, it’s safe to assume that it’s at or below the freezing point, right? So it’s frozen.”

“Darling, I’m still so confused right now.”

“Humans are solid, and solids are frozen liquids, so humans are frozen.”

“What on Earth is going through your brain right now, Virgil?”

“So many things, Logan. So many things. So many things and almost none of them are good.”

“Almost?”

“You’re doing the cute head tilt thing you always do when you’re confused, it looks kinda like a confused kitten and it’s absolutely adorable and it lives in my head rent-free at all times every day.”

Logan blinked. “Virgil, thoughts and ideas and the like aren’t living, they cannot live anywhere, much less pay re-”

“And another thing! It’s super adorable when you always take things so literally, like, you understand some idioms, but like, when you’re tired you just. You just don’t understand? And that’s super adorable? It’s also a great indicator of when you need to sleep, which is also a great indicator of when we can cuddle that won’t have you leaving after a little? Also, it makes you do the cute head tilt thing and I just, god I love you.”

“I love you too, darling.” The two of them laid together, appreciating the other’s company for a moment. “Wait, Virgil, you said you couldn’t sleep because of your anxiety, but what about?”

“Asking if someone has slept on something is the human equivalent of asking if they turned it on and off again.”

“Wonderfully cursed, darling, but you're avoiding the question. What’s got you so worried?” Virgil cuddled into Logan, burying his face in Logan’s neck, whining quietly. “You’re being very adorable, but you’re still avoiding the question, love.”

Virgil whined slightly louder, before running out of air. He sucked in a large breath and “ItotallymighthaveacrushonPattonandRomanbutlikeIstillloveyouobviouslylikeyou’reamazingIloveyousomu-” he was cut off when Logan gently placed a finger over Virgil’s lips, a small smile on his face.

“One more time, darling. Just a little slower, if you will.”

Virgil took a deep breath, calming himself slightly, still speaking quickly, though Logan could understand. “I totally might have a crush on Patton and Roman but like, I still love you obviously, like you’re amazing I love you so much.”

Virgil watched as Logan fumbled around for a minute, in fear that he had said too much, that this was the final straw, that Logan would– “Ah-ha!”

“Ah-ha?”

“I was wondering where it went! Right, so, back to your confession, Virgil, I believe that the term that I was looking for was,” he shuffled through his newly gathered flashcards before flipping one out towards Virgil, “is ‘same’. Or would it be ‘mood’? One of the two of them at least, from my understanding they would both mean roughly the same thing in this situation.” The two of them made eye contact for a moment before Logan glanced away. “Although, perhaps it would have been a better idea to have simply said that I… am in the same metaphorical boat. I too have a crush on Patton and Roman, as well as still loving you dearly. I am somewhat sure that I informed you of my being polyamorous when we started dating, didn’t I?” Virgil managed a small nod, somewhat confused and overwhelmed. “I thought so. Since I am polyamorous, it would be quite hypocritical of me to break up with you, or something of the sort, so of course I would be completely alright with you having crushes on others, even if I didn’t also share those feelings, and I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

“I… I mean, you are, but it’s still kinda cute? Also, I’m really confused? What’s happening?”

“What’s happening? Virgil, dear, I’m simply telling you that it is quite alright to have feelings for the others, as I am in the same metaphorical boat and share those feelings as well. In fact, there’s quite a high possibility that the others do, in fact, reciprocate those feelings. At least, they reciprocate them for you.”

“Wait, wait, wait, ok, ok, we have a couple things to address there, um. Let’s start with my gut reaction to hearing you mention that they may like me somehow, which is just: what the fuck? No. Wrong. No. No way. Uh, next thing: Logan, babe, why on earth wouldn’t they like you? You’re amazing, adorable, funny, witty, smart, wonderful, and more, I’m just tired and can’t english-” grabbing Logan’s shoulders and gently shaking him, Virgil continued, “-but you’re fucking amazing, and if they have any goddamn brain cells, they’d see that, and they’d love you, just like I do.”

Logan stood there, eyes wide, as he watched his boyfriend speak so passionately, being rocked back and forth as Virgil forgot he was still holding his shoulders. Virgil slowly stopped ranting, coming back to the present as he noticed his boyfriends eyes slowly begin to become teary.

“Babe? Oh, Logan, honey, why are you crying? Was it something I said? I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, or anything, oh god did I accidentally strike a nerve?”

Logan smiled, tears slowly falling from his eyes, “You didn’t do anything with an adverse effect, Virgil. In fact, you said what I needed to hear, even if I wasn’t aware that I needed to hear it. You know me, I don’t typically care for sentiments, but it is… nice. To hear those kinds of things, from someone that I ca-. No. Someone that I love. I tend to metaphorically fall into a rut, per say, where I can’t stop thinking about my shortcomings - Virgil, I love you, we don’t need to get into those right at this moment - but I get stuck thinking about them, and internalizing them to the point where they become so much of my personal identity, and hearing someone who I know logically will not lie about that sort of thing inform me that those perceived shortcomings are, in fact, falsehoods helps my brain, to logically understand that they are, and sometimes, that realization comes with a couple tears along the way. You didn’t do anything with any adverse effects, Virgil, I promise you.”

“You’re sure?”

Logan frowned, pulling Virgil into a close hug. “I’m absolutely positive, my dear. Just as I am certain about the existence of the stars above, I am certain that nothing that you have said to me today has had any negative effects, mentally or otherwise. I swear it.”

A little snicker, then, “You sound like Princey when you get sappy.”

“Falsehood. Though we all sound somewhat similar, due to us being parts of Thomas, we also do all sound different. I was not making an effort to impersonate Roman, so I still sounded like myself.”

“Babe, I meant, like, the grand gestures, flowery language, and shit, not your actual voice.”

“Oh. I see.”

“Yeah, anyway! Massive subject change! Nothing’s on fire, fire’s just on things.”

“Ah. Back to this, I see. You’re technically not wrong, I suppose.”

“A ton of people is just like… 10 people.”

“I believe it would be closer to anywhere between 12 and 15, based on average weights, yes.”

“Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.”

“Horribly cursed, yet someone true. Stomachs don’t have brains, and therefore cannot think, but if they could, they likely would believe that.”

“When you brush your teeth, you’re cleaning your skeleton, and it’s the only time you ever do that.”

“A little fun fact for you, Virgil, your teeth? They aren’t actually bones.”

“I’m sorry, they’re not what?”

“Teeth contain collagen, when bones do not. Teeth are more similar, though not identical, to finger or toe nails, or even hair, due to the keratin contained in all of those, though it is in significantly lower levels within teeth.”

“Logan, I think that is, no contest, the worst thing I have ever heard anyone say. Ever. That’s worse then something Remus would say on a bad day. I hate the idea of teeth just… being hair. I hate that. I love you, but jesus Logan, what the actual flying fuck? You’ve sent me into a crisis, Logan, a crisis. About teeth.”

“As Roman would say, Virgil, you are usually experiencing some form of crisis, this is not a new phenomenon.”

“Roman would not say the word phenomenon, and would throw in a nickname, so that was not what he would say, that was the idea in your words.”

“I suppose that is true, yes. Would you like me to provide some more facts? I promise they won’t be teeth related.”

“I… sure? I’m still lowkey reeling, so go for it? I like hearing you talk. It’s nice. Soothing.”

“If you’re being this one, you must really be tired. Hm, let me think. Ah, yes, around 17 milliliters of human blood can function as an egg substitute when baking.”

“Why the absolute fuck is that a fact that humanity knows.”

“I honestly could not tell you. There’s a town in Norway where dying is illegal.”

“That’s a segway, what the fuck? How do you outlaw that?”

“I’d imagine that it is quite a difficult law to enforce. There are more bacteria living in a human's mouth than there are humans on Earth.”

“That’s… a lot of bacteria.”

“Approximately 50 billion would be considered a lot, yes.”

“What the fuck.”

“A quarter of your bones are located in your feet.”

“Okay! That’s enough of that for like… what time is it now?”

“I believe it’s 1:36.”

“Right! That’s enough horrible thoughts for 1:36 in the fucking morning, so it’s bedtime! Come cuddle me again and lets fucking go back to bed, holy shit.”

“Didn’t I mention that we should try that over half an hour ago, my dear?”

“Hey, Logan? Starshine? Love? Yeah, shut the fuck up. I love you, so fucking much, but shut the fuck up, and cuddle me. We’re sleeping, and you’re either turning off your alarm, or setting it for later, you’re cuddling me until I say we’re done, okay? Okay.”

“Alright, love.”

#i write i guess #ts anxiety #ts logan

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godlyborn · 4 years

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discord. | those lost to the timeless abyss.

summary: ellie and rory go to the lotus hotel on a quest to bring lucien and linnaea to camp. it was much harder than they thought.

Elliot took a step inside, looking around. She ran a hand through her hair. "Where do we even start?" she asked Rory. "The vagueness of that prophecy isn't helping us."

Rory was speechless as they walked into the Lotus Casino. She wasn't sure what she expected it to look like, Amber never really went into detail, but she certainly wasn't expecting it to be as massive as it was. Looking around, Rory shook her head. "I....I have no fucking clue." She turned her head to look at Ellie, sighing before turning back towards everything in front of them. "This is going to take way longer than we want it to, isn't it?"

"Oh, 100 percent," Ellie answered. "How do we even manage to find them? They could be anywhere. Should we like start asking around or some shit?"

"And ask what? 'Excuse me, have you seen a pair of twins that have been here for about thirty years?'" She threw her hands up, starting to walk towards the brighter games in the back. "Might as well start looking instead of just standing here. Why couldn't they even tell us what they look like? It would've made this at least one percent possible instead of the negative fifty we're at right now."

“Well I wouldn’t put it that way,” Ellie replied. “We can ask people if they are a twin. How many twins would be here anyway.”

"With our luck? Too many. Though I guess that's the best way to start." Rory looked around, stopping a random person that looked relatively their age. "Excuse me, are you a twin by chance?" The person looked at her extremely confused, and shook her head before quickly walking away. "Well," she sighed. "One down, who knows how many more to go.”

Ellie weaved through the people with Rory. "Hey, just a quick question. Do you happen to be a twin?" When the guy gave her a dirty look and returned to their game, Ellie took a step back. "Wow nice to meet you too."

Rory rolled her eyes at the guys response. "Dick head." She continued walking with Ellie, with multiple other failed attempts to find anyone that's a twin. She knew this would normally be quicker if they split up, but Rory was nervous about one of them getting distracted and ending up in there for the next century. "Should we just like, stand on a bench and scream that we're looking for twins?”

"You know what, fuck it," Ellie said, finding the nearest bench to stand up on. "Hey everyone! My friend and I are looking for some twins! Anyone here happen to see any?"

When Ellie screamed, Rory started looking around the casino, trying to spot anyone walking towards them or just having any other reaction then thinking the two of them were insane. When a minute of silence passed, and everyone just went back to their games, Rory groaned. "Okay, seriously? Is there like a separate game room or some shit?"

Elliot jumped down. "Let's start branching out or something? I'm not sure what else to try."

Rory looked over at Ellie, slightly nervous at the idea. "Is that a good idea in this place?" She tried to look around for a clock, trying to see how much time had already passed, not really surprised when she didn't find one. "But I don't really know what else to try, either."

"We just have to stay away from everything, and stay on task, yeah? We can manage this," Ellie nodded, though she wasn't sure if she was even convincing herself. "We can stick together, but we should try looking in other rooms."

She nodded, trying to convince herself that it was that simple. "Yeah, totally. Just stay on track." Rory stated walking farther into the room, trying to look over all the games to try and find a doorway or anything that gave the impression of a separate section. "Should we set an alarm on our phones or something to try and keep track of time?" Her head tilted ever so slightly in thought. "Would that even work in here? Or is there some kind of dumb magic mumbo jumbo that wouldn't let that happen?" Finally seeing an entrance to a hallway, Rory pointed, speeding up slightly. "There. Hopefully somethings over there."

"Yeah, I don't think that'll work here," Ellie replied. "It would kind of defeat the point, wouldn't it?"

Rory sighed, tucking her phone into her pocket after confirming that no, that's not how it works. "I was kinda hoping for a loop hole, not gonna lie."

"If only it were that easy," Ellie replied. "These games are very alluring, I'm not going to lie. No wonder people want to play. I'm glad were not Tyche kids. I wonder how many Tyche kids are stuck in here."

"I know, I'm trying not to look directly at them." Unconsciously, she glanced at them, spotting a Monopoly machine and very quickly looked away and tried to get it out of her brain, focusing on the conversation with Ellie to stay grounded. "Fuck, there's probably so many of them in here. This must be like crack for them."

"Damn, that must suck," Ellie said back, leading through the crowd, looking for another room to look in, occasionally asking if people were twins. "Honestly, my mind is so focused on getting back to my brother's and Ben that I refuse to let the thoughts of playing invade my mind too much. I can't imagine being in here with those you care about, or think no one cares for you."

Rory nodded her head in agreement. "I know what you mean, I would never be able to picture feeling like that. Keaton and Bailey would burn this place to the ground if I get stuck in here." She let out a small laugh, a smile growing on her face as she thought of her boyfriend and sister. She already missed them, especially Keaton. "These twins better show up soon, I wanna get back to them." Rory sped up her walking, heading into the next room, which luckily had a few less machines in it, as well as not as many people. "What do you think, scream on a bench again or grab people?"

"Grab people probably, I don't think the screaming thing really worked," she replied. Ellie tapped on a boy's shoulder near her. "Hey, excuse me, hi, do you happen to be a twin, or have seen any twins here?"

The boy actually seemed semi-helpful. After staring at them for a second or five, he pointed a vague direction before running off again. Rory rolled her eyes, but walked in the direction anyway. "At least he gave us something to go off of. First time in who knows how long." Seeing another boy, Rory walked up, tapping him on the shoulder. "Hi. Quick question: are you a twin?"

Lucien had lost track of time. It’d been a few days (days?) of almost nonstop fun for him, broken up only briefly with naps and quiet moments in corners of the casino. One of these days, he remembered telling Linnaea, they’d have to go back outside. But not now. He was holding a cup against the slot machine as it poured coins out, shiny and promising. When the girl approached her, Lucien had to drag his eyes up from the sight of gold spilling into his hands. “Huh?”

"Are you a twin? We're looking for a set of twins," Ellie replied. "Some guy pointed your way."

He pondered this. “Define twins,” Lucien said. The coins stopped pouring and he lifted the cup, shaking it and listening to the rattle. “Identical? There’s a few of them, here, actually. I think I remember where they went....”

Rory held back the urge to let out an annoyed sigh. "Identical. Fraternal, whatever. Just answer the question please?”

Lucien looked between the two girls slowly. “What do you want twins for? Some weird art thing?”

The prophecy was some what like art, maybe he'd be more willing if that was the point than just outright saying 'hey man, you've been stuck in here for like 30 some years'. "Uh, something like that," Ellie replied. "It requires these twins who are grandchildren of Homonoia. If you happen to know them."

Lucien paused. A crooked smile slid onto his face to mask the little jolt that came with hearing that name out loud. It shook a little clarity into him, and for the first time in what felt like a long time he was nervous. “You come from a small town? This is a big place, I don’t really know most people’s grandparents on a first name basis. Define require.”

Rory shuffled a bit, trying to think of a vague enough answer in case any of the people around them were listening, though she highly doubted it. "You could say that, everyone knows each other where we're from. Though, we're looking for twins born in 1974." She hoped she got the year right, the number sounded correct to her.

Lucien turned his attention back to the slot machine, if only to keep looking aloof. He pictured Linnaea's face, the last time he saw her a few... hours? ago. "Wanna play?" he asked the two, sliding a coin into the machine anyway. He imagined walking through the crowds, sliding seamlessly past crowds and faces and finding— Linn? Where are you?

"We were just playing in the other room," Ellie replied. She looked at the machine, almost like it was calling to her, weirdly part of her wanted to play with all his winning. "That's how me and her got this idea for the project."

Rory glanced at the machine when Lucien offered, almost tunnel visioning with the flashing lights. Ellie's voice snapped her back into focus, and she shook her head slightly before focusing back in on the conversation.

With no immediate reply from his sister, Lucien pulled the machine's lever, buying himself as much time as he could. Nothing. He sighed, and spun around again, face calm. "I think I know someone who fits this description..." he started. "What's the project, though?"

"A series of photos outside with flowers and nature, all that jazz," Ellie replied. "Cupid's Vault esc. Don't know if you know who that is, but they use crystals and flowers to make a person look like a part nature. Make it like unity with nature."

Rory nodded along, pretending to know exactly what Ellie was talking about. "We're really inspired by Greek Mythology, honestly."

Some part of him, something he couldn't quite name, bristled at the thought of going outside. Which was strange. Outside arguably was safer than in here, where everyone was perpetually distracted. Maybe the fresh air would be nice... Lucien shook off the thought and stood up. "Okay, let's go look for some twins. I think they went this way." He started walking, assuming the two would follow, and tried Linnaea again. Sis? Location please.

"Yeah, I'll have another!" Linnaea plucked the lotus leaf from the platter with a smile. "Hey, cheers!" she sang, tapping leaves with a girl beside her. "Your shirt is hella fly, by the way. Where did you get it?" Linnaea snapped the tip of the leaf off between her teeth. "Forever 21? Huh, never heard of it." Before Linnaea knew it, her hand was empty and she found herself reaching for another leaf. "Yeah, I'll—" Lucien's voice echoed through her mind. How long had it been seen she last saw him? I'm by the bar, just got another one of those leaf things. You want one?

Maybe later. He glanced around the room. The bar was two rooms over. Lucien paused and tried to look like he was searching for people. Gauging how easily he could lose these two. I have a slight situation. Meet me by the front?

Ellie followed the boy, glancing back at Rory a few times to make sure she was there too. Ellie had a feeling he was dodging her but she needed to finish this prophecy. “Hey. slow down,” she said.

Rory followed, trying very hard to not get distracted by all the flashing lights around them. She let Ellie do the talking, and instead focused on the boy and keeping track of him, just wanting to get out of this place and back home already.

What kind of situation? Linnaea looked around the room. The crowd around her seemed much more densely packed than it was just an hour ago and finding her bearings was suddenly a monumental task. Which way is the front?

Lucien was about to shove a group in front of him aside and run for it, but the question threw him. It occurred to him, slowly, in a haze, that he didn't know. "Um," he said, then clenched his teeth. Okay, new plan, I'll come to you. Don't move.

"I think I see them over there." Lucien pointed to the left corner of the room, where he saw two people with blonde hair. Not at all twins, but enough to distract them. When their heads turned, he backed away to the right and started to weave between people.

Rory glanced over in the direction he pointed, but didn’t see any twins. Quickly looking back, she lost sight of him for a few moments, before just catching sight of him weaving between people. Now thoroughly annoyed, she started walking faster in his direction. “I got him.” She growled at Ellie, waving her hand to create a wind current to sweep his legs out from under him, feeling a weird sense of satisfaction when she saw him fall.

He got maybe a 5 second lead before he landed on his face. Palms and chest and chin stinging, a new jolt of panic ricocheted through his body. Subtlety, it seemed, was no longer an option. Lucien shot to his feet and ran, shoving people behind him to give himself a buffer.

“Seriously dude!” Ellie said, trying her best to keep with him. “Also Rory, that was bad ass.”

Uh, okay. Linnaea looked around for her brother's head amongst the crowd.

"Looking for something?"

Linnaea turned to see the server with the platter staring straight at her, unblinking.

"Uh, no, just my brother, thanks."

"Have another leaf."

"No, that's okay, I'm waiting for—"

"Have another."

Linnaea took a step back, eyes still locked with the unblinking server.

Rory started running after him as well, grateful that she had kept up with her jogging to stay in shape after leaving camp. “Thanks. Might as well put all those years of power training for something, right?”

Lucien probably lost an ally or two in his mad dash to his sister. A few angry shouts followed him through the next room and the next. The bar was in sight, and after another half minute of pissing some more guests off— was it always this crowded?— he finally found Linnaea. "Sis!" he shouted to her. He grabbed her shoulders, and turned her toward him. "Hey you, fun game time, let's run."

Ellie continued running to try and catch up to them, turning around ever so often to make sure Rory was still there. She had to dodge a few server in her path. "Wait, we can explain dude. We're not here to hurt you!”

Rory tried to duck under the servers plate, but failed, knocking some weird flower shaped things to the ground. She shouted a “sorry!” over her shoulder in response to the yelling, but kept going in the direction the boy, now joined by another girl, we’re heading. “Yeah, seriously! Just stop so we can talk about this,” she paused for a second. “I promise not to trip you again?”

Linnaea stood frozen as the server took a menacingly slow step towards her. Then—"Lucien!" Linnaea glanced back at the server, who now had both of them set in her sights, and then at the two girls who seemed to be chasing Lucien down. "Say no more." Grabbing Lucien's arm, Linnaea started shoving strangers aside in a mad dash away from their assailants.

With Linnaea leading, they scrambled away, looking for the front or any sort of exit. He shouted a few useless apologies to the people they crashed past, but eventually gave up and decided to own the havoc. They'd started to run just to run, dashing from room to room, always just a few desperate steps ahead of the chasers.

Maybe it was the stress, maybe the low hum of fear vibrating in his stomach, but the casino started to feel... strange. Lucien didn't know what to make of that, but he thought he saw, out of the corner of his eye... "Wait," he gasped, tugging his arm to catch his sister's attention. "Front door, over there!"

Rory’s eyes widened as she saw them head towards the front door of the casino. “Oh shit!” She pushed herself to run faster, trying to catch up and stop them. “Wait, no! Please don’t go out there!” Now it was her making sure Ellie was keeping up. “We really need to talk first!”

"Fuck," Ellie said, following Rory to try and stop them from going outside.

Linnaea avoided the temptation to turn around to see how far ahead they were. The crowd had grown far too dense anyhow, she justified. Finding her brother's hand in the chaos, she bolted toward the front doors and threw them open with all her might. "Fuck!" The sun was blindingly bright and Linnaea stumbled blindly forward. Lucien! Lucien where— As her eyes adjusted, Linnaea started to take in her surroundings. Where... Where are we?

He ignored every silent protest, every reluctance to leave the building, and followed his sister outside. They landed on the sidewalk and Lucien crouched over to catch his breath. "I think they're right behi—" He cut himself off and looked up. His jaw dropped. Holy shit.

When they caught up to them, Ellie slowed stepped forward to them. She held up her hands slightly, as if to signal she wasn't going to hurt them. "We can explain. You're probably really confused. Seriously, we just want to help you. We're not here to hurt you, we're here to take you somewhere safe, a place where we're protected by monsters. I'm Ellie, and this is Rory, and we're like you.”

Trying not to panic, Linnaea discreetly patted down her pockets, feeling around for something she could wield. Nothing. "Like fuck we're going anywhere with you," Linnaea retaliated. What's the move, Luce?

Lucien was trying to make sense of the city he saw before entering the casino and the one sprawled in front of him now. When the girl Ellie approached, he pulled his attention back to the moment. Instinctively, he stepped a little in front of his sister. At least one of them has some legit powers. I don't think we can lose them if we run. Scream for help?

"I'm being serious," Ellie insisted. "Look." She went through her pockets for her school ID. She showed them. "I go to college, I live with my older brothers, me and them are children of Morpheus, he's a God. I'm a demigod. Rory over there, she has a boyfriend, she's a daughter of Zeus. Even if you don't know about the Gods, I'm sure you know a God named Zeus. There's a place for people like us, it's called Camp Halfblood, it's safe." She sighed, looking at Rory, and then back at them. "It's 2020," she said. "You've been in there for decades. That place, it's magic. Playing the games, eating the food, it causes you to stay in there and never age. I didn't want to freak you out at first, but that backfired. Please."

“We swear on the river Styx that we’re not here to hurt you.” Rory glanced up at the booming thunder that sealed her promise, not being able to help rolling her eyes. “Dad always has to be dramatic.” She turned her attention back to the twins. “We’re not monsters.” She didn’t really agree with dropping all this information on them now, but she couldn’t really stop Ellie. “Homonoia sent us to find you two and get you to safety.”

Maybe his brain was melting, because none of what he just heard made any sense. "Uh," he started, a laugh bubbling up in his chest. "Ah... No, this is... No. We don't want what you're selling us, thanks.”

Rory blinked slowly before looking over at Ellie. “What damn part of this sounds like a sales pitch?”

"We're not selling anything. You're like us. We would not risk coming here if we didn't need you two," she replied. Ellie got out her phone and showed him the date. "Read that, that's the date.”

Linnaea put her hands up and took a step back. "Is this... a joke?" What little she had actually heard, her brain had not yet processed. She was still unsure if their lives were in danger. "What is that?" Linnaea looked at the device glowing in the stranger's hand.

Lucien stared at the screen, not comprehending. When it went dark, he blinked, and looked back at Ellie and Rory.

Linnaea kept her hands up, as if to shield herself from the strangers. Are we drugged? Did we take drugs in there and we don't remember?

Rory took a small step forward towards them. “No, it’s not a joke.” She pointed to the cell phone in Ellie’s hand. “That’s a portable telephone. There’s a lot of new technology now days, but my boyfriend, Keaton was always better at explaining them.” She glanced around the area. “Please, you need to believe us. The longer we stand here, the more we’re risking putting all of us in danger.”

"We're not the monsters, but if we don't leave and get you too safety, there'll really be some after us. Our godly blood attracts them. Either you go back in there and never come out, which will happen, or you come with us to safety. If you stay out in the open, your risk is getting killed by a monster. There's two of you and you'll attract them more. Trust me, please."

And we're having the same trip? But the idea was already rooting itself in Lucien. Well... that checks out, actually. They could already talk, already share little flashes of memory. He latched onto this because it made more sense than anything else. He took Linnaea's hand, checking in with her for silent confirmation. "We're gonna go back inside, then."

Rory covered her face with her hands, giving herself a moment to let out a small half groan, half scream. Once done, she dropped them. “Listen, I know we sound insane, but we’re telling the truth.” She waved her hands them a bit. “You’re honestly telling me that you think that all of this happened in the span of what....a week or so? That’s not possible. Even today.”

Linnaea stepped toward Rory, an accusatory finger pointed her way. "All I know is that this morning, my brother and I were doing just fine on our own. Things only got weird when you showed up and started pursuing us. So how about you leave us alone and go back to whatever freaky place you came from." Linnaea turned on her heel and started marching toward the hotel with Lucien in tow.

Ellie stood in front of the door, stoping them from entering. "If you go in there, you'll be stuck in there forever," she replied.

"What she said," Lucien said as he started to follow. "Well.. we don't believe you," he said to Ellie.

Rory let out another growl, her eyes turning a slightly brighter shade of blue. She forced down the power that flared to life with her emotions. “This morning you were trapped in a god damn magical hellhole, we just started to fucking wake you up. It’s another decade for fucks sake!”

Ellie took a step toward them, away from the door, "Please, I know this is shocking, but you're only safe in camp halfblood."

"What the fuck," Lucien threw up his hands. "Will you leave us alone! We're not going with you!" He stepped up to Ellie, trying to look intimidating. "Move."

Linnaea clenched a fist and exhaled, ready to sucker punch the girl standing in their way. On my count, I think I can knock her out. Linnaea scanned for an opening to clobber the side of her head when her eyes caught the still unbroken stare of the server inside the hotel, watching her through the glass. Wait—do you see that?

Though he did look intimidating, Ellie wasn't very fazed. "Look dude, I'm not scared of you. I have faced what should be scarier people, and scarier monsters than you." Ellie was ready to take them out, if she needed to.

Lucien grit his teeth, but put his attempts at scaring her off on pause as soon as Linnaea called his attention. He glanced past Ellie and met the stare of a server, holding a tray of lotuses. A small chill went down his spine. I see it.

Rory stood a few feet behind the twins, ready to either slam the doors shut or just trip them again. Seeing them pause, she glanced over their shoulders, seeing the creepy server behind the door. “Okay, even on my terms that’s fucking creepy.” She now focused her attention on the server, ready to defend if needed. “Ellie, behind.”

What the fuck? Once again, Linnaea shifted gears, now backing slowly away from the door as the lotus server was joined by another, and another, and another, until several of them were lined up behind the glass, moving slowly toward them, still unblinking. "Nope. Mm-mm. What in the line dancing fuck is that."

Ellie turned when Rory warned her. "What the fuck," Ellie said, shivers running down her spine at the Lotus Eaters, stepping back from the door.(edited)

Lucien had a vague, distant, maybe-not-real memory of these same creepy faces, staring out at them on their first day in Vegas. He remembered thinking it exciting, inviting, not the horrifying vision he was staring at now. Okay, maybe I'm second guessing going back in there.

Rory stayed still, letting the other three pass her before she started stepping back as well. Her brain now fully switched into defense mode, she spoke to Ellie without looking away from the Lotus Eaters. “Okay, start heading towards the van, I’ll blast them right back in there if they even think about moving.”

"Do you want to come with us now?" Ellie said harshly, walking backward. "Or do you want to deal with that?"

Linnaea looked back and forth between the servers and the strangers. "God damn it." She sighed, her choice clearly made. At least these two blink.

Lucien felt backed into a corner, and it was annoying that he couldn't even fully blame the two girls for it anymore. Stupid, creepy servers with thier stupid soulless eyes. He grumbled, rubbing his forehead. "Yeah, okay, fine. Fine. We'll go, what about our—" Shit. I guess the car is gone. He sighed. "Ugh. Can we go get a burger or something before we go?"

#elliot #those lost to the timeless abyss #d:ellie #discord #d:ellielinnaealucienrory #ellielinnaealucienrory #d:ellielinnaea #d:ellielucien #d:ellierory #ellielinnaea #ellielucien #ellierory

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it-will-not-last-the-night · 5 years

Text

Blegh

In terms of Persona 5 I’d been riding high mostly since P5D. I’d been positive mostly over it because P5D and fan-generated content had been lovely overall and really engaging and enjoyable. It had helped me forget that the main game itself seriously does upset me at times and I have a less than ideal opinion of it.

*Sigh*

Now I’m starting to feel like that again. Both announcements of today have left brought back to mind some of my biggest problems with Persona 5 and the way Atlus writes in general. What are they? A bit of a lesson then in me;

For myself there are three events in Persona 5 that I really REALLY just consider outright despicable. In no order they are; 1) Two homosexual adult males being negatively stereotyped as child molesters targeting Ryuji 2) Ryuji’s friends responding to one of the greatest acts of selflessness in the entire story by physically abusing Ryuji and 3) The Valentine’s Day event making Canon that Akira/Ren is horrible, Sojiro is horrible and that Atlus thinks all the girls are vapid idiots.

‘Magical Valentine’ raises an issue I’ve always had but makes it even more forceful. You see in the game the Valentine’s Event is only ‘optionally’ canon. You can play a canonical run-through and not have it occur. So you can, legitimately, without needing headcanon or fanon, just have your own canon playthrough in which the girls are not vapid idiots. The anime however, now, makes it that, for the Animation, it is canon that Akira/Ren is an awful person and that the girls are vapid idiots. Oh and that Sojiro is just literally the worst like...like he is scum in this event. As bas as Akira/Ren is (and he’s bad in this version!) the bigger problem I think a LOT of people forget about the Valentine’s Harem Route is that it literally casts Sojiro as a Guardian of Futaba who would lie to conceal her boyfriend’s infidelities...even when said infidelities LITERALLY CAUSE FUTABA TO CRY!

So the animation is now making it canon that; 1) Akira/Ren sees no reason he has to be honest or forthright with any females in his life 2) Sojiro holds such low regard for his daughter he will aide Akira/Ren in an ongoing deception and emotional manipulation of her RIGHT AFTER SHE OVERCAME A SUICIDAL PHASE OF HER LIFE and 3) That Ann, Makoto, Futaba, Haru, Takemi, Kawakami, Ohya, Hifumi and Chihaya all fall in love with the exact same person and are literally when confronted with incontervertible evidence of his infedilities not only tricked into instantly accepting that them all bringing him chocolate on Valentine’s Day was a ‘misunderstanding’ but, in the case of the Phantom Thieves members, this has so little impact on them that mere days later they have no reaction.

AKA the ending Valentine’s Harem Route basically says: “Akira/Ren successfully cheated on all the girls in his life, and is free to continue to do so since they are so stupid that they could be convinced to assume it was a ‘misunderstanding’ even under the most blatantly false of pretext,” the ending basically gives carte blanche to say that Akira/Ren will probably keep cheating on the women in his life because, well, they’re so stupid that even if they all end up right in front of him, confessing their love for him to each other’s faces...they somehow think this was a ‘misunderstanding’?

That’s gonna be canon now for the animation. Not ‘optional’ canon, just...just outright canon. Literally everything in the Canon is soured now. Did you like Ren’s bond with Ann in the foregoing episodes? Well bad news; Ren literally is willing to commit to an intimate relationship with her and then emotionally cheat on her with several different women at once. Did you like how Ren played a pivotal role in building Futaba’s character and helping her grow out of her emotional turmoil? Well sucks for you cause Ren is literally willing to lie to this girl’s face and tell her he loves her whilst carrying on behind her back with numerous other women.

It sort of goes without saying that this kinda wrecks P5A completely since, canonically, Akira/Ren is now just an irredeemable asshole and the female characters are reduced to stock harem-style idiot love interests with basically 0 individuality because everyone has to love the Protagonist (self-insert!).

But when you think about it even in the original game...this was a problem. Sure you could choose not to do it...but you could also choose to do it. This means, technically, as far as Atlus’ writing is concerned, canonically Akira/Ren has it in him to be a complete asshole with no respect for women or his friends...and the females in the game are all vapid idiots. That’s technically canon since that’s required for the Valentine’s Route to work.

Oh, also, that Sojiro is the worst. The worst.

The Valentine’s Harem Event, like the Ryuji abusing event post Shido’s Palace. does irrevocable damage to the characters and the content itself, kinda ruining it since for it to be canon...well it means the characters are terrible people or stupid. Why I sort of have to choose to ignore them to actually like the story.

Of course what does all this writing have in common? It’s a JOKE! Haha! Ryuji’s being abused, isn’t this funny? Haha! The girls are all vapid idiots and Joker’s such a chick magnet they have no varying tastes in partner at all! Haha! Gay men want to force Ryuji to undress for them!

Isn’t this funny? I mean, no, of course not. In almost all these cases the ‘humour’ is...someone suffering. A common retort I then see is; it’s not canon, its just for a joke.

But the problem is it is, all, strictly canon. I could definitely understand if these things were packaged as clear ‘not canon’ events.

Here’s an example; the Blazblue game series has ‘joke’ endings which are explicitly not canon but usually feature bizarre or ‘funny’ scenes. One of said scenes is a reoccuring bit in which the protagonist Ragna is made to wear glasses that causes the female cast to all fall in love with him. Putting aside the fact for the moment that, to me, this still isn’t funny since its treating the Mind Rape of the entire female cast as a ‘joke’ the fact remains that it is, however, not canon. The creators make sure that nothing that happens here technically infringes on or diminished the canon character content by making it explicitly non-canon.

Persona 5, both the game and now the Animation, take no such efforts. There are no efforts to make clear that Ryuji being beaten up is a ‘comedic non-canon overreaction’ or that Akira/Ren being a womanizing prick and Sojiro being the WORST are just ‘comedic non-canon skits’ all these are played as explicitly, irrefutably, canon. That is how the characters are, as far as Atlus is concerned. That is their opinions, their beliefs etc.

Is it weird that P5 Dancing has the best, most wholesome, most healthy characterization of the entire Persona 5 Franchise? I suppose maybe the mangas are good to, I must admit I’ve never read any of them since from what I can tell Ryuji is basically ignored in all of them in favour of focus on the girls.

Atlus has a writing problem and that problem is centered I fear on a simple fact; the protagonist is a self-insert who is assumed to be a self-insert for a very specific formula; a young male who sees female characters as things he wishes to collect for himself and wants to feel adored by. Almost all of the major writing problems stem from this; Girls seem exploited or turned into vapid haremettes? Well, obviously, gotta appeal to that ‘chick magnet’ fantasy. Homosexuality is cast as negative or frightning? Well, obviously, the fantasy being appealed to is explicitly heterosexual in nature, everything else is ‘icky’. Other males seem to constantly be the butt of a joke or consistently shown up compared to the protagonist? Naturally since the fantasy is about making the player feel like ‘the man’ and all other men are simply lame by comparison so that the girls will only love the protagonist (the self-insert).

What really bums me out about all of this is that Atlus can write such amazing scenes as Ryuji’s ‘the place I belong is next to you,’ but then in that same game or anime have the Valentine’s Event and the Ship scene. I imagine in part this is due to it being a game first, story second, so they feel there are ‘beats’ that need to be there (the loser must be made fun of, the protagonist must get all the girls) even if, from a storyboarding point of view...it just makes the characters look A) Very inconsistent in personality and attitude (Ren’s infamous standing up for a stranger being assaulted but then instantly refusing to step in to help Ryuji in Shinjuku) or B) Like massive asshats (The entire Valentine’s Event from Ren and Sojiro’s perspectives.

It is just...its sad. I want to like this story because there is legitimately good characters and writing but...in the name of appealing to the lowest common denominator it gets weighted down by stuff which is explicitly canon and makes the characters awful.

It really makes it tough to like it at times.

*Sigh*

At the end of the day I don’t know how to handle this. Accepting its canon makes a lot of people awful or stupid. Headcanoning it away is fine but...then I gotta accept I don’t like Persona 5 per say, I like what I, or other fans, create from Persona 5.

Also can we please just be able to date Ryuji. Please Atlus. We don’t need another female character to be another fangirl for Joker, to be another vapid idiot who can be duped by the WORST Sojiro, please Atlus, please. Please. There are ENOUGH love interests Atlus, please try perhaps instead stop treating women like little toys for a protagonist to effortlessly collect and dupe.

Watching all the Persona 5 Girls (sans Sae) in the Valentine’s Event is painful. They are characters I like, many of them have good writing...and then they are reduced to props to make a player feel “Oh yeah! Such a chick magnet! They all want me! Women are simply a commodity by which I inflate my own sense of self-worth since having multiple of them attracted to me and betrayed by me makes me feel as if this is a positive development and not a negative one!”

And I do mean that seriously. Look at most content or statements around the Valentine’s Event. They frame it positively. The ‘harem’ ending, Joker is such a ‘chick magnet’ and so ‘alpha’ etc. etc.

Terrible emotional betrayal? Deep seated trust issues? Sojiro treating his own daughter like garbage? Ignored because ‘Joker is a PLAYER! WOOO!” And this is overall seen as a positive development.

By now I’ve rambled on ridiculously long but if I must have a conclusion it is thus; Please give us a Female Protagonist who can date the other boys and stop selling this sexist approach where non-protagonist males and all females serve the same purpose; inflating the ego of the player character.

#persona 5 #p5 #persona 5 the animation #p5a #akira kusuru #kusuru akira #ren amamiya #amamiya ren #joker #phantom thieves of heart #phantom thieves #sojiro sakura #sakura sojiro #sojiro

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