#But anything negative ... Baby it'll drag me down so deep and quick

[mrfoox]

I wish there was some easy/quick way to fix me

#miranda talking shit #Negative #Like even if it was to get laid which i won't bother with #I just want to feel good... Be able to feel good for more than 5 mins after the good thing ended/happened #Idk just always felt like other peoples highs are so much higher and my lows are so much lower #Know one cant measure those sort of things etc but yeah... Hearing others describe things in such awe and saying how amasing things have #Been. And im here like... I struggle with anything positive... 80% of good things just feel small and pass in moments #But anything negative ... Baby it'll drag me down so deep and quick #I still to this day cant tell how much of my happiness is genuine or actually just .. Forced or mimicked? #I mask so hard anytime im around people or at least i think i am. After i leavr any social situation i feel like ive been pretending #I've been plastering on smiles on myself and made a joke of everything to make others happy/laugh since i was a literal child #That kinda stuff worries me. I feel like i dont know if im real like... What is the real me etc #Ive had many friends through the years but dont think theres many barely one ... Ive felt i didnt need to act all the time we spend togethr #Its sad. I cant stop it either i just do it on demand like adopt that roll for myself ? Even on days i feel garbage ill do it #It helps to keep people from asking about how youre doing or focusing on me as an individual but haha