#Bless you for sending this Rue 🥺

[oculusxcaro]

📔+ learning the ins and outs of her condition.

SEND 📔 FOR A JOURNAL ENTRY WRITTEN BY MY MUSE.

Something is really wrong with me.

Made a fool of myself at work this morning, dropping Chief O'Hara's breakfast all over the floor. It couldn't be helped. My muscles just had to have a spasm attack, spilling coffee and pancakes everywhere. First time it happened at work and it just had to be in front of her, didn't it? Kelly was so sweet about the whole thing too which only made me feel worse, even wanting to call an ambulance because a chunk of glass was sticking out of my arm. I don't think she noticed it went deeper than it looked. It didn't bleed much, just a small trickle and stopped a few seconds after that. I pulled the piece of glass out so the cut wouldn't start healing around it right away and leave anything inside, and when Kelly's handcloth pulled away, it just looked like a nasty pink gash. I'd sooner her think I was overdramatic than scared that when she lifted that fabric, there would be a fresh batch of eyes looking back at her.

...

It's April. I forget which day, it probably doesn't matter. Don't feel good at all, hungry but not able to keep anything down or feel satisfied. Bread? Nope. Packet of Fridge Raiders? Supposed to be chicken but eating them was just like eating the bread, tasteless and gutting. I boiled up some eggs. They were okay. I ate one and am saving the rest for later when I feel a little better.

... It's been a week since I last ate. The eggs aren't good anymore but I feel better. Weighed myself to be sure everything's okay, expecting a little weight loss. I'm heavier by 10 pounds. How. ... May Day. Eyes are growing on my forearm again. They sure are persistent about growing in that spot, between where my forearm regrew and where the original tissue ends. Last time I scraped them was 2 days ago. I'll need to do it again tonight before I go to work, before they start regaining function. I hate it when they squirm. It's disgusting. I'm disgusting. ... Hurt Cindy tonight. I didn't mean it, she clamped a hand on my shoulder as I came in from 'smoke break' but really I just needed to stand under the rain for a few minutes. I jumped. She jumped like she got an electric shock because she did. Thank God she's okay but I'll never forget that look of hurt in her eyes, afraid and unsure I'd hit her somehow and she just didn't see it happen for some reason. I'm sorry you have to work with a monster, Cindy. Please don't think I hate you.

#the-rorschach-mask #memes ;; journal entry #Bless you for sending this Rue 🥺 #It's less learning the in's and outs of her condition and more oh... that happened #Which I guess is the same sort of thing haha #Referencing another roleplay partner on here I hope that's okay chiefohara #<3 #She is going through a nightmare with this condition because there's nobody she can go to for help #Who do you even ask about this sort of thing? #Not Prometheus that's for sure