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maddsmallow · 9 months

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" "con, don't you ever fuckin' relax?"

"lieutenant, i'm a machine. i don't need to 'relax'."

"oh fuck you, come on, we're on break. loosen up a little or something. you can chill out from your fuckin' mission for the three minutes it'll take me to smoke this cigarette. and shut your mouth before you go telling me it isn't actually exactly three minutes on average to smoke a cigarette or whatever."

connie closes her mouth. a small addition to her list of missions to accomplish is made: try to appear "relaxed" to appease lieutenant anderson. a raise in friendship means an easier partner to work with, so connie carefully inspects the lieutenant's posture and does her best to replicate it. being a machine of plastic and metal certainly doesn't make it easy. "

hankcon, but gorls. did i base hank off of my butch lesbian manager at my old job at a sex toy store who was covered in spongebob tattoos? absolutely yes i did

mostly i just wanted to portray fem!hank as a Large Woman because i think there is a severe lack of that. broad with muscle hidden under fat, like the kind of woman who does shot put. so uh,,, ms trunchbull basically LMAO. deep voice, raspy from smoking and drinking, all that good stuff 😩👌 also peep the button on her jacket hehe

got some headcanons and stories for them under the cut!

-hank wears cargo shorts 100% of the time. no matter the weather or temperature. like, 'bill and ted at prom in shorts, but it's her at a dpd ceremony in cargo shorts' level. but not actually because i'm totally gonna draw her in a pantsuit later, totally not with connie on her hip in a slinky dress 👀

-also yes hank's shirt is a spongebob reference

-when people ask hank why she goes by hank and not her "real name," (which i like to headcanon is "henrietta") she always says, "oh it's actually a really funny story, i'll tell you later," and the later never comes lmao. or, if she does tell you, it's some made up wacky story that actually has nothing to do with giving herself the name hank. the real reason? she just likes it

-speaking of "henrietta," this story, 'if you know where to look' by ghost_teeth, works so fucking well with a lot of my headcanons about how their characters would be like genderbent! highly recommend it, and all their dbh stories honestly!

-connie has a compact gun (i asked my brother for examples and he said sig p365 or springfield hellcat, which i think work perfectly for this) holstered inside her jacket on the left side. also, i'm stealing this idea from this post (which basically almost has the same design for fem!connor (altho like, most designs for her are basically the same lmao)) but she also has a knife strapped to her thigh

-her skirt is actually made of some super high tech flexible and durable material, and she's got specific programming to make her balance crazy good, since she'll be running in heels. she's made to hunt and pursue deviants so obviously she needs to be able to run and jump. the outfit is only made to appear like a standard "business woman" to blend in with the humans she would be required to work with, but otherwise gives her everything/doesn't hold her back from doing what she needs to complete her mission. here's a bonus conversation i had with @extraordinaryandroid about it lmaoo:

-hank met connor-51 first for the ortiz case, but connie-52 (with 51's memories of course) came in the next day when it was announced they were to be officially paired to investigate deviants. cyberlife has their grubby lil hands in everything so of course they knew their RK800 unit would be paired with this lieutenant anderson before basically anyone else, and deemed that she'd get along better with a "female model" that she would find attractive. which of course has hank like WOW that's super weird and gross of y'all! and i fucking hate that it's working you pieces of shit at cyberlife !!!! but ofc connie's like "im a machine i dont even have a gender" all the while hank's sweatin major thirsty bullets

-at the cyberlife tower, connor-51 is the one to hold hank at gunpoint. how did he get hank to trust him? idk i haven't figured that out yet lmao, but the angst of connor-51 essentially taking the place of -60 from the game in the sense that he's clearly deviant in some capacity, in this context being that he feels connie stole the life he deserved (which he'd never admit) and now wants to suck up to cyberlife and be their best boi to feel important and special again and not knowing they'd just throw him away for the RK900 model, is very good imo. that was a very long sentence so i hope it made sense lmaoo. have i worked out all the details of how all that shit would work in a story? absolutely not, im too busy thinking about butch fem!hank making her robo girlfriend bluescreen in the bedroom 🤪

also if ur wondering wtf the background is, idk. my usual plain color gradient was too simple, but i did NOT want to put in the effort to do a whole ass real background, so i settled on something in between. meh, it's just them hagin' out behind the station on a smoke break ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

consider supporting me on ☕! ko -fi. com / maddsmallow (without spaces)

#detroit become human #dbh #hankcon #detroit: become human #d:bh #fem!connor #fem!hank #connor rk800 #hank anderson #fem!hank anderson #dbh genderbend #conhank #hannor #dbh fanart #dbh connor #dbh hank #idk what else to tag this as #my art #the blogger says words

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jejublr · 7 years

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Flower boy!Jeonghan

A/N: It’s been 84 years.... This is for the anon who requested Flower Boy!Jeonghan. I hope you’re still alive..somewhere. I’M SO SORRY BUT PLEASE ENJOY! Thank you for requesting!!! <3

So there’s a new café that just opened called Pledis café

This cafe was unlike any other café; it’s a flower boy cafe

People were pretty sceptical when the café came out with the concept, but Pledis proved them wrong because now, the place was almost always packed on Friday nights and/or the weekends

People thought it was going to be weird at first?

But they later found it’s just good fun! And a good eye wash

The café was really creative actually!!

The boys acted like butlers in a way

SUPER HOT CUTE BUTLERS

Super polite, gentlemanly and curtious, who wouldn’t want to go back for more, amirite?

Capitalism at its finest

The people frequenting the flower boy café would typically be teenage schoolgirls

Other times it was awkward (and jealous) boyfriends who got dragged to the cafe for the sake of their curious girlfriends lol

At first, Jeonghan never really had any intention to work in a café, let alone a flower boy café

But his friend Seungcheol became one and the pay didn't seem so bad so he applied

And a few weeks into the job, he’s sold

To him, it doesn’t even feel like working?

Because being beautiful is his forté lmaoo

People who visited the café was pretty amazed by the visuals the boys serve but Jeonghan? Snatched.

But people aren't sure if he does anything other than leaning on the booth and sending flirty looks at girls?

Or was it sleepy looks? lmao nobody knows

Like, yea we get it, ur pretty, Jeonghan but table fifteen needs you now, shoo

He's a really great host, though

Like, in the café, it’s normal to have some of the boys linger at tables to talk to the customers

They’d explain the menu and they’ll entertain you for a bit as you wait for your order to come out

It’s just like one of those Japanese maid cafés, only the waitresses are guys

By all means, Jeonghan seemed to attract a lot of people and he ended up getting flirted to a lot

Jeonghan wasn’t usually the type to flirt back

unlike some people *cough*Choi Seungcheol and Wen Junhui and Xu Minghao*cough*

seriously though, Minghao’s been wildin’ these days

But it’s his job so

But he really does love his job and entertaining people

Which brings us to this point

You've heard of the hype of Pledis café

And while you enjoy checking out hip cafés around the city, you never had the initiative to check the cafe

You just don’t get the hype, okay?

Bc you find it so weird??? Like, a flower boy café?? Who came up with the idea???? Isn't this considered human exploitation???

So you definitely weren't very thrilled when your friends proposed to the idea of giving it a visit after school/work that day

Some friends you have bc they practically dragged you to the café despite your protest

'Just once,’ they say.

'It'll be fun,’ they say.

While your other friends are squealing over how cute the decor and boys are (especially the boys) and having the time of their lives, you looked like you’re ready to bust outta there

Because the amount of admittedly cute boys here is amazing

There's literally so many of them here

Tbh you felt a little bit overwhelmed by the amount of attractive boys you see bustling around the café, serving cakes and entertaining customers

You've never seen so many cute guys concentrated in one place before lol

How did they find them? Cute guys are like rare Pokémons nowadays

But you had to admit it was a nice change of scenery ( ͡ ° ͜ ʖ ͡ ° )

Especially that one guy you saw on your way in

And you almost got knocked off your socks because wOW IS THAT AN ANGEL?

No, but seriously, though, he’s wearing an halo headband

But you couldn't help but feel your cheeks heating up when he flashed a smile at you

You thought ‘Wow okay this isn't so bad, maybe I can get used to this.’

But then you saw a couple of girls came up to him to get pictures with him and he was all flirty so you're like, lol nevermind

That man is a playaaa~

I mean, you understand that it’s his job but still, you’re not a big fan of flirts

Your friends waved to indicate they’re ready to order and it just so happens that your server is the angel you just thought about

“Hello, welcome to Seventeen Café~ I’m Jeonghan and I will be your server for today.”

And all your friends took turn ordering till you’re the only one left

"And what can I get for the lovely lady?" he asked as he sent a wink at you

Tbh you don't know whether to stay silent or to throw the glass of water at him

The latter seemed more appealing at the moment

You rolled your eyes and ended up ordering whatever your favorite drink was and the waiter scurried away, but not without flashing you with another God-send smile eyyy

The moment he was out of earshot, your friends went cRAZY

“Y/N, what the f*** you know him?”

“Did you see how he looked at you?! He was totally flirting on you!!!”

Hahaha yeah and if he does it one more time you’ll be sure to let him know you’re not interested

And you and your friends actually had a great time chatting at least when they’re not too distracted by the boys

But you didn’t miss the glances Jeonghan stole at you

Like, he usually loves teasing and joking around with his client but there’s just something about you that made him want to provoke you even more

Wow, what angel were we talking about, again?

Maybe it’s the way you roll your eyes indignantly or your blatant dislike towards the café

Also maybe because you’re kinda cute

Really cute

And it’s only natural that Jeonghan wants to get a reaction out of you

So then he brought out a cupcake and set it on your table and everyone’s like ‘We didn’t order this???’

And Jeonghan’s like

“Don’t worry, it’s on the house. For the pretty lady.”

AND THEN HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO WINK AT YOU FOR THE SECOND TIME THAT DAY BEFORE HE WHISKED OFF TO ANOTHER TABLE FFF

First of all: how dare he?

Second of all: how dare he?

So while your friends are looking at the cupcake as if it was an engagement ring and as if Jeonghan just confessed his love to you, you were silent bc you don’t know what to do tbh?

Because a handsome man just tried to pick you up??

What a flirt.

You still ate the cafe, though

After all, a cupcake is a cupcake

There was a part when some of the boys had to do aegyo and oh my god

There was this other guy named Woozy? Woozi?? and you thought he was adorable

But Jeonghan was on a whole other level

He kept running his hand through his luscious locks, bitting his lips and pouting oh my god

Uhm, you kinda wanna slap him? But also it’s kinda cute? But you’re never going to admit that ofc

And you thought you’ve never been happier when your friends decided to call it a day and asked for the bill bc you don’t think you would survive anymore second breathing in aegyo and finger hearts

But Jeonghan’s kinda bummed???

Bc you’re actually really fun to tease

So he made Wonwoo the cashier give you guys free membership cars bc he wants you to come back lol

“Why should I do that?”

“I’LL BUY YOU ALL THE BURGER YOU WANT, WON.”

“Ok, deal.”

Capitalists, I tell you

It was unfortunate for you bc your friends are now completely in love with the café and they vowed to visit it every other week

And they made you come with them every single time bc now they got the member card, too lmao

You’re not really complaining bc the food there was amazing, the ambiance (despite being a little crowded), was great and everything good except for...

“Hello, my name is Jeonghan and I’ll be your server today.”

him.

You see, he wouldn’t leave you be from day one, and you know it amused him to see you cringe at the constant aegyo and cheesy lines thrown around

And another fact that made you angrier is the fact that Jeonghan looks so! darn! attractive! and so! smooth! doing it all uGH

You keep getting heart palpitations whenever he smiled

And you don’t even have insurance for God’s sake

Honestly, it’s enough cardio to last you a lifetime

But you didn’t know what happened behind the scenes bc back in the kitchen, Jeonghan would always smile to himself and sometime giggle occasionally?

Chan got scared once when they were on a shift together and Jeonghan started giggling to himself

Chan thought he got possessed and it scared the s*** outta the kid

And it was always entertaining to watch you bicker back and forth as your friends sip on their drinks

“Don’t you have anywhere else to go to?”

“Well, you see, I work here.”

The little s***

At least it’s a show for other customers to watch when you guys start bickering like old married couples

They started to ship you guys, too

Bc Jeonghan seemed to be more open and relaxed around you?

As if the flirting is genuine it is

And you may act like it’s annoying but deep inside, you kinda enjoy the attention he’s giving you?

BUT HE’S STILL ANNOYING

But also cute

The playfulness started to shift to something different one day

It was a particularly relaxed day, not many people were in the café

So you were sitting alone in the café, sipping on your drink and waiting for your friends when you suddenly got a text message from one of your friends

["Y/N I'm so sorry! I don't think we can make it to the café today! Something really important came up!!"]

And you let out a long sigh because 'Now what do I do,,,'

Jeonghan at the counter noticed your crestfallen face and decided to swoop in like Prince Charming

"wELL, hELLo."

Oh no

"Ugh what do you want >:("

'I want to take you out' he wanted to say but he saw the cup hot tea in front of you and he didn't wanna risk it lmao

In case you decide to fling it at him

“You look sad. Is everything okay?” he asked

And honestly, the stress from work/school has been piling up and you had the strongest urge to just spill everything to Jeonghan bc he seemed genuinely concerned

But you held yourself back and instead gave him a tight-lipped smile

“It’s okay.”

Except it’s not okay bc the smile you flashed him didn’t quite reach your eyes

You packed up your things but then you realized that it’s raining :(

Of course you had forgotten to bring your umbrella

And you could feel the sudden weight of your emotions and you feel the telltales of tears that threatened to escape when a soft hand slipped into yours

“Here, let me walk you to the bus stop,” you hear his soft voice and and looked down to see his other hand gripping a floral umbrella

You almost smiled at the image of the man holding a pretty umbrella with daisies on it

You wanted to decline but who knows how long the rain would last?

So you reluctantly agreed to let him walk you

The walk was not like what you had expected

Jeonghan was more quite, more composed, his gait noticeably more sluggish than what you had accustomed to seeing in the café

But he let you have your peace for once and you were grateful for that

It wasn’t until later that he spoke up as he slipped a piece of paper with a series of numbers on it

“If you need anything.. Don’t hesitate to call me okay?”

F***ing smooth

You couldn’t help the small smile that made its way on your face

“Okay.”

It was then that the bus decided to come and you had to go

You felt a little regretful that you have to say good bye

Jeonghan slipped the umbrella into your hand

“Take it. The rain isn’t going to stop soon.”

You looked at him weird

“But you’ll get drenched!”

He smiled “It’s okay, I got extra back in the cafe.”

And honestly, you were so touched??? You felt your heart grew a little tender for him

Maybe he isn’t so bad

“Thank you.”

And Jeonghan was a little taken aback because this was the first time that you actually smiled at him?

He doesn’t think he’d ever get enough of it

The two of you went home with a little smile that day and he didn’t leave your mind until the moment you fell asleep

You didn’t visit the cafe for a while after that

It’s not that you didn’t want to

It’s just that life got in the way

You were busy and didn’t have the time to make visit and you were too shy to actually text him

And Jeonghan still worked everyday, hoping that it was you everytime another customer came in and got disappointed when it wasn’t

The others are also a little curious?? Bc did something happen??

Jeonghan himself felt a little hurt bc did he make the wrong move the last time he saw you? You never called him or texted him and he thought there was something there

‘I guess, I’m wrong’ the thought kept playing in his head

He didn’t know that you were actually looking forward to meet him again

I mean, you got to give back his umbrella right?

It wasn’t until a few weeks later that you managed to find the time to come

And when you came in, the others were like

“You’re back!!! Where have you been???”

You explained and they told you how Jeonghan seemed a bit down lately and that he’s actually taking the day off today

So you just passed the umbrella to the boys along with a note and left the café a little disappointed

“Looking for me?”

You looked to the side to see

“Jeonghan?”

He had the widest smile on his face and you wondered what made him look so happy

And he was happy because there you were, standing in front of him under the sunlight looking all beautiful and he felt his heart grew bc he saw you exiting the cafe and he just knew that you were looking for him

“Where have you been??” he asked

“Well, I have a life aside from being constantly dragged to a flower boy cafe, you know.”

“Touche.”

There was a brief silence until he spoke up

“Look, I’m so sorry if I annoyed you a lot. It’s just that..I like you.” he confessed

What is he, a kindergartener?

“And I was wondering if you wanna go out. On a date.”

You almost sputtered bc what?

Wow he finally got the balls to ask you out for reals, eh

“A date? At the cafe?”

“F*** no, anywhere but there.”

You both laughed at that

And you looked at him in the eyes and said

“Okay.”

And you could distinctively hear the boys’s howls and whistles from inside the cafe, all of them squished to the windows making heart gestures at you two

“Shalalalalalalalala~”

“Oh my god.”

You could only laugh as Jeonghan shook his head in shame

Yeah, he’s not bad. Not bad at all.

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