#Because its unrelated to the main thing I'll rant about it here

[leminhthinking]

"add something, if youd like" ok, here is something i used a throwaway account to comment on the Double MV. i didnt reread so i didnt remember anything about it sorry but there probably is mention about internalized ableism. also personal experience. its kinda shaped like a rant

posting it here now that i came out about being plural here. yeah.

tldr (theres another tldr at the end of it but it was from the time i commented and i want to add something else here) i love representations

I keep finding myself wanting to comment something under this video, but I know I'll say stuffs about myself that I feel would be unsafe to share using my main so I'm using this throwaway account to do it instead 😔

I just want to say that I'm so grateful that Mikoto and John (and maybe other alters in their system too? saying this just in case) were ever written. Being a system who had just discovered that only over a year ago, I can almost see myself, no, I can almost see *us* in every part of their story up until now. And in a way, I feel like I've also... grown with them? If that makes sense?

I have been following MILGRAM for quite a while, enough to be there when MeMe was just released. Back then, I still thought that I was certainly a singlet (didn't have DID), despite how one of my alters - I will refer to her as my sister from now - showed up pretty regularly at the time. That's why when I watched MeMe, I remember thinking to myself, "oh shit, this guy's just like me, and because [insert internalized ableism here] I'm saying he guilty then." But then we all know what's got confirmed 😂 Funniest thing is, a short while before that, I also came to term about being a system. Dammit, to think about it, it felt like a second confirmation 😭😭😭😭

Now that I have accepted who we really are, the release of Double and their second voice drama feels exceptionally special to me, as the host of our system. John and Mikoto's situation right now really reminds me of us last year. My sister and I specifically, respectively. At that time, I tried hard to deny the fact that I am not alone in my head, and that we are entirely separate people. It took me a while (with a few tarot spreads. fuck. I'm a Mikoto kinnie now) to know that we actually are... and some actual, honest conversations to know that she actually loved me, rather than wanting to harm me... Yeah. Yeah. You see what I'm talking about? That's why I'm really rooting for Mikoto and John to have better communication... Ah, maybe if Mikoto watched "his" own second trial MV, he would understand...

That being said, I'm still not sure on what to vote... When I first watched Double and listened to the second voice drama, I thought to myself, ouch, ok, guilty because John clearly seems to be the alter who knows more right now and that would keep him fronting more to interrogate. But after a while, my opinion... changed? I don't want Mikoto to be affected too much from the verdict and maybe going dormant because of that. John maybe still there for the interrogation but fuck, I don't think he's ever been without Mikoto for a long time and I'd hate to see his heart breaks. Maybe innocent is the better solution after all for the whole system, as it might soothe Mikoto's mood and his mindset. I also trust that MILGRAM's writer team know what they are doing and therefore would not "kill off" John. Maybe they will just let him be inactive for a while if they are voted innocent, given that he's finally satisfied with our decision...

(Yes, I do know innocent = forgiven and guilty = not forgiven and I'm deciding while knowing that. I'm just calling them innocent and guilty because I'm more used to it while speaking in English.)

Hmm, that was a longer rant than I expected. I don't know how to conclude really, so I'll say something that would sound entirely unrelated 😔 If I remember correctly, prisoners can hear us audiences right? If that's really true, I just want to scream to Mikoto and John that it's 100% ok to be a system! To not be alone inside your mind! To exist alongside another person in your system and love them! It's ok to just be yourselves! And please please please fucking find a way to communicate with each other!!!

Once again, thank you MILGRAM for letting them exist... I really hold them so dearly in our heart...

TL;DR: local system getting emotional over Mikoto and John, rooting for them to have better communication.

#leminhthinking in paragraphs #leminhtalking #milgram #its so funny that when i come look at the tags in my blog milgram appeared to be the one at the top and then umineko #like i didnt expect that but. Ok. i should have expected that

[reonagisolos]

yknow, i love jaya and all, but the writing for them hurts me so badly because they do nya so dirty and I'm like NO so here are some of the changes I'd make without jeapordizing the actual plot (from the perspective of someone who watched from s1-7, sort of a rewrite? But not really. Just this one pet peeve I have with the writing here, from someone who loves drama but hates lobe triangles 🤟)

-The love triangle has to go away. i hated watching any type of moment with that cause it felt so forced like..Why would you do that?

-Instead of that, I'd rather have it first establish whether or not the feelings from jay to nya and vice versa were mutual. I'm sure it is and honestly I wish the triangle never existed but if I'd rather have it happen in some other way, I'd honestly want other characters to push it, instead of nya herself. It doesn't even need to be a full fledged arc, just something that happens for one season but affects how she acts in the future

-Doesn't make sense? Let me explain. It's especially apparent in s6 but nya? Yeah she's a GIRLBOSS who can STAND ON HER OWN!! I'd find it more interesting for a reinforcement to her character if she was suddenly pressured by the students or maybe by the other ninja that hey~ since an ai is all powerful and such, maybe they'd tease her about it, pretend like there's something there when there clearly isnt.

-she'd be mad of course (someone on some other post about doing nya dirty said something along the lines of objectifying her as some trophy and honestly I agree but we'll touch on that again later) but let's get to jay and cole.

-Jay, first and foremost, would definitely be overprotective of nya, in the way that kai would be as a naturally overprotective brother, and would likely misinterpret said teasing into cole actually being a "love rival" to him, which obviously isn't going to be his intent cause he's his friend and understands that jay really likes nya, BUT realistically, he'd question their friendship a little because while yes, nya is friends (jay idk man?) with the both of them, he's hurt that he'd be so defensive and angry about something so silly.

-Anyway they would definitely fight about this the same way it happened in canon (and ends about the same way in canon) because man for people who monologue a lot they can't with feelings and probably cope with it the same way.

-Post s3 and into s4, I feel as if their friendship would be even more strained than in canon (One because in this au I want to at least have a year of mourning for their dead friend like cmon) and they'd fight a LOT (moreso because of the instability of their feelings because of zane's death) with cole, it'd be how he made it look like he didn't care for their friend's death plus some leftover feelings from the nya thing.

-For jay, (god let me have enough energy to finish ranting about this because I love him) I see him as the kind of guy that'd carry guilt with him about past shit all the time because he thinks too much when he's alone. (which is a lot at this point) Now, he tends to think very quickly without thinking things through, mainly because stress builds up quickly and he has to do it now or never (kind of like the nature of his power) but when he has time to think he goes very far with it. It's muddles those thoughts of his, cause its been a while since he's talked to any of the other ninja, but he would probably realise on how stupid he was on being unnecessarily protective of nya (of course a little before climax when they had a moment to talk alone she'd tell him about this and boundaries, but he'd mainly kept it on the back burner, definitely staying away more, but sometimes overstepping it) so becuase of that he becomes way more withdrawn—Which shows when he meets the other ninja again for retrieving zane.

okay gonna give you a breather for a moment cause as you can see i yell a lot

-Back to that, it would likely be about the same from there, except cole would be talking a lot more than jay would be, instead showing mostly empty insults and glaring (at least until the the bruise battle which would happen in about the same way tbh)

And anyway, long story short since this was supposed to be about nya, and the end of arc 1 rewrite, they make up and post s4 but a bit before s5, they talk and become good friends again, enough so that they even joke about their stupid rivalry, to the relief of nya becuase damm. those boys stupid but you gotta love em

ANYWAY BACK TO NYA BECAUSE YEAH I NEED MORE WORDS FOR HER

First of all, I don't actually mind the jay seeing into the future and jaya and stuff and making it stupidly obvious he likes her, however...I would've loved if nya actually kept the thing about them being just friends for the rest of the season and a little after (with little moments here and there, but nothing more than platonic in terms of canon) because m/f relationships are fun and cute and while the basis for jaya is definitely there I want more development then maybe some questioning of feelings and then boom after the halfway point of that they come to a conclusion

(It's one of the reasons why I bruiseshipping)

That tea scene where she drops jay into the traveler's tea portal is a decent example of that. Though I wish there was less monologue in that scene cause it dragged on and shouldn't have been so long in a high tension scene where they try to decide who goes in, just one powerful line from her then drop him.

Also I want more moments where nya ripped the dress apart or something with either a weapon nearby or her definitely high power water jets to tear it a bit so she could fight better and kick jin (gin?) butt

or just more scenes of her fighting/training with samurai x or her herself prior to learning about her being the water ninja but if you wanna see that go see my shitty tags ig

okay I'm done now

#ninjago #nya ninjago #jay ninjago #cole ninjago #ninjago rewrite #okay so these are just my brainrots at 3 am and I'm trying my best not to cry because I love jaya but some of the writing for it hurts a lot #some of these may be inconsistent bare with me #I'm just dying #and i love nya and jay #Listen ik there's bruise potential here but I'll think about that later #rant #about the water ninja thing #Because its unrelated to the main thing I'll rant about it here #I definitely think it should've been revealed that both parents were elemental masters before anything #THEN #have nya know early on but doubt it and just think that she's unlucky ig but she's gonna train twice as hard to come close with samurai x #Until there's an accidental usage of water powers #And she's in disbelief #Or #Have them not know and her to accidentally use them and boom wu tells them about it #but i do want nya to hesitate before deciding to be the water ninja #Because a big part of her character development in s6 was about her choosing whk she wants to be #Imo the writers actually handled that pretty well #Like I liked the scene and it lines up well with her as a characyer7 #And anything about consistent characterizations makes me happy #Anyway I'm actually done now #I've beem writing this fkr an hour straight #ninjago masters of spinjitzu #o