#AOUGH finally im done with this oh my god

[disastersteps]

you may not be me, i may not be you, but we're one and the same.

#fhr #fallen hero #fallen hero rebirth #fallen hero retribution #fh sidestep #sidestep: anita lee #puppet: aoyun #myarts #AOUGH finally im done with this oh my god #anitas eyes are vacant but their hand is up in the air bc theyre puppetting their puppet :] #the idea here is that aoyun (puppet) is literally anita- theyre different people but in the mind? its the same person #anita prefers their own body over aoyun but they NEED her bc of connections that they themself doesnt deserve to have #something something about the fact i realized the way aoyun is dressed is how anita *wants* to dress themself as #i almost colored aoyuns in green and im like 'no. you thembo. JULES CAN CONNECT THE DOTS THERE SO NO MORE-' #the tumblr blue was bc it was originally white and I FORGOT ITS STILL WHITE ON A TRANSPARENT BG soOO OYEAH #ANYWAY YEET AND RUNS

[prettyboykatsuki]

had to pause in the middle of finally doing my finals project that i've procrastinated for the past three months to tell you something regarding oliver and hair washing: the styling afterwards is his undoing lol. it is rlly just him sitting on the floor between your knees and you on the bed/sofa brushing, cutting or redying his hair and he is so NERVOUS abt it and doesn't know why. you joke about not being as bad as edward scissorhands to lighten the mood but he's so in his head abt he whole thing that if you gave him a buzzcut right then nd there he honestly wouldnt notice. just too wrapped up in the feel of things :)

aoughough. aough. ough.

god. the subtle intimacy of you styling it would kill him. he can feel how nervous you are about making it right, making it look good - but not about touching him. you're fine with touching him somehow. you don't twitch when your fingers rest on his nape to smooth through and cut his dead ends, and you don't mind brushing the excess hair away from his shoulders and back as you style it.

but him? it's the only thing his brain bothers focusing on. those gentle gestures, arguably loving ones. they're his undoing!! they unravel him, make his chest swell up so tight. it's so unbearable. you've done so much together and it's always those things that get him down so bad. he's almost silent, mostly cracking jokes hoping you don't notice how much he's trying to sound confident. he doesn't think you catch on

the minute you sit in front of him, let your fingers run through his hair with product and really get a look at his face it's over for him. you make a comment about how annoyingly handsome he is and he just Knows.

oh im sickfkjbhfj

#return to sender #oliver trying to fight his demons (fear of genuine intimacy) and losing !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!