#AND my roommate bought me taco time. so. yknow. lol

[orpheusofthestars]

no joke i think deep frying my hand has reaffirmed my positivity for being alive. i was so stressed out in the days leading up to it, and all that stress really dissipated when i had to go to the ER. i remember thinking to myself like, maybe life is okay & i like living, actually. the next morning i got prescribed gel hrt, that weekend i went to an anime convention and was surrounded by my closest friends, and now as my burnt flesh peels itself from my body to make way for new skin i am now 7 days on t

so

idk

im sure theres a poem in there somewhere

#it hurt like hell but honestly i thought it was funny even as i was actively in shock at the er #AND my roommate bought me taco time. so. yknow. lol #the pain was so fascinating to me. i know im a horror novelist and a goth or whatever but genuinely it was fascinating #i also reaffirmed that i am way way way too good at hiding pain for my own safety but luckily i live with people who love me #i remember describing the pain as if my hand were a sheet being fed through fast spinning rubber wheels on some form of mechanism #like i was being driven over or something... a simultaneous squashing and ripping feeling #ive had to keep it bandaged but i change it out every night and at every stage of the process my flesh has looked incredible #the biggest downside for me is honestly just that cleaning is difficult or inadvisable for me until it heals #bc i dont wanna get chemicals in the damaged sjij #skin* #talkin