#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH screams into the voide the things these two make me think about

[toomanywordsnllines]

What if Ghost wears his mask because, after all the torment his father rained on him... he got the nervous tic of smiling AND laughing...

He starts getting nervous and his lips start to twitch up into a smile.... He can't stop it. It just... happens

Someone can be brutality killed in front of him but because of his father, his lips just twitch into a smile instead of a frown or grimace. It doesn't reach his eyes so no one really knows it, but he feels disgusted with himself anyway. Smiling and laughing at someone suffering? "What kind of monster are you Simon?"

#like taking in count what i know of the comic his father does make him laugh at a dead lady #i also think he probably laughed too when nervous but he trained really hard out of it after... one quite terrible encounter #everyone likes to imagine he has gasglow smile scars right? #so what if he gained them because he was smilling uncontrolably while being tortured so they were just like: #'why not make it permanent' #hello hi yes :D i love making the blorbos suffer #am i projecting? a little #i do laugh/smile when I'm nervous sometimes #and it's the worst fucking feeling cus... you can't control like your face It acts before you think and it's hard to put it back to 'normal #BUT GOD #GHOST ASSOCIATES SMILLING TO ONLY TERRIBLE FEEELINGS/SITUATIONS #SO IMAGINE WHEN HE MEETS JOHN SOAP MCTAVISH #THE PERSONIFICATION OF A SMILE #imagine ghost learning through soap that it's alright that HE'S alright because he can't control it #and imagine that because of soap he starts smilling besides when he's nervous #he starts getting genuine ones at Soaps stupid jokes #and the day he laughs??? he hasn't laughed in so long he subconsciously stops himself #but soap is just looking at him stars in his eyes 'please do that again' #AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH screams into the voide the things these two make me think about #cod #call of duty #cod mw2 #call of duty modern warfare 2 #call of duty ghost #call of duty soap #(he's in the tags BUT HE'S HERE) #simon ghost riley #john soap mctavish #ghoap implied in the tags #manyrambles

[thefalserift-d]

ok let’s gradually go back in time because I’m better at going from present to past than the other way around

shifter, you did an okay job. you had a fuck ton of weird ass urges in the cafeteria. And why the fuck were you looking at lewd places at girls. God. Keep your sight on the goddamned horizon.

She.. had a nice butt. and she was tall so like,, butt was higher.. yoga pants bro...

no.. excuses...... so fucking sick. and you wanted to kiss aidan? what is wrong with you??!?

Hell man, you had a ton of urges to punch something and scratch yourself.

Well... I guess it was more like mutual controlling.

Heh. true.

Okay, now to during class. So many thoughts.

Are you prepared to say it here?

Yeah, sure, why not. I don’t care. I can’t care. Most of it’s paranoia. I’m glad the Third spoke to me.

Not calling him the Void?

While that’s what he feels like.. I feel like I’m copying from Aaron so no. Not nice.

“I’m just going to be substituted it” “I’m worthless I can’t even help them I can’t even help myself” “I shouldn’t lean on them they’ve got enough things to deal with I need to be better than this” “What a mess what a mess what a mess what a mess” “Look how Maddi does so much better than me what’s sort of fp am I” “favorite person more like fucking fake piss I can’t do anything” “they’re ignoring me see there’s evidence that I suck and they don’t need my shit” “Why isn’t Marz here I need her snarky comments to keep me awake and slightly grounded in this class” “I don’t know how to feel about last night” “It brings back memories of way back when kik was a thing” “I want to die, dig dig dig in the palm crush the feeling it’s wrong wrong wrong” “What if I never existed in their lives” “I deserve nothing” “What if I never had a tumblr” “damn I get so turned on when memories of last night happens” “Why am I in such pieces and Shifter is whole” “I’ll never see them I’ll never see them I shouldn’t think of fantasies” “hungry damned hungry or is it just that it’s empty” “Our core is fractured” “do I have a favorite person..(s)?” “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” “I want to go play on the piano I haven’t done so in such a long time”

hmm that encompasses a lot of it. I’m sure I left out some by accident.

Hmm yeah. The screams were like from angry to wailing sad sounds.. painful.. From male voice to female. You always relate weakness to female, don’t you? That’s when your voice changes too. Inside your mind.

Yeah.. unconsciously. I don’t make this assumption for people. I just have it for myself.

I’m gonna kinda analyze all this. Okay?

Okay.

A lot of your social anxiety right now stems from Aidan and Avery. And you’re trying to deal with it by just disregarding that you have feelings for any of them beyond best friend. For different reasons for either of them of course. For Avery, you’re afraid your dreams are just going to get crushed again. Which it has, multiple times. So, it seems to be a reasonable fear. For Aidan, well.. we talked about it earlier, and the fact that he makes you happy whenever you see him, and that you guys share good jokes and just get it lol. And for different reasons, you decide to go on automatic shredding mode with pain and distraction, trying to make yourself associate bad with those dreams and fantasies. But sometimes you hold yourself back, because you hope. There’s that inkling of hope that just drives you insane, and it makes you want to scream because you’re caught in between these two very conflicting feelings with no resolve in sight. There’s more.. but.. I’m sorry dear.

looks like you followed the post on point.

I didn’t mean to make you cry.

It’s okay. I think we managed to sort some of this out, even if the screams don’t stop after this..

#32817