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samiha-kabir · 3 years

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So you want to become a better person by building good character traits? Perhaps, you’d like to be more “kind,” “loving” or “generous.” Or, you look up to the heroes you admire and wish you had their “discipline,” “patience” or “grit.”

At this point, the sceptics may say: “But that’s impossible!” or “I was just born this way.” The good news is they don’t know what they’re on about.

Changing your character is not only doable, but also simple. That doesn’t mean the path is quick or easy. It takes sacrifice, persistence and effort.

But the rewards are well worth it.

Because here’s the thing: the only difference between you and your heroes is character. When you reforge your nature, you’ll find their footsteps easier to follow.

But where does this journey begin? What should you take with you? And whom?

By the end of this article, you’ll have answers to all those questions. You’ll also have:

A list of 800 character traits to inspre you;

A set of free value tracking templates to support you; and

A foolproof five-step process to help you develop a good character.

Let’s get started!

What Are Character Traits?

One way to better understand character traits is to define three closely related ideals: core values, personality traits and character traits.

Though often used interchangeably, these terms have distinct definitions:

Core values (a.k.a personal values) are theoretical ideals of thought, word or deed;

Personality traits describe one’s public, external behaviour; and

Character traits describe one’s private, internal compass.

The main focus of this guide is building good character traits. To understand why it’s a priority, let’s dive deeper.

Core Values vs. Personality and Character Traits

I don’t talk much about core values with my clients. Here’s why:

Values describe ideas;

Traits describe actions; and

Actions speak louder than abstract ideas.

Anyone can claim or aspire to “tolerance” or “equality.” But it’s not until those values are expressed through actions that they become traits. And it’s not until they become traits that they impact you and the people around.

When you focus on values, there’s a tendency to talk a lot, then “set and forget.” You decide to be “kind,” “generous” and “loving.” You may even write those words down. But until you change how you act them out when it matters, core values are no more than ideas.

That’s why here, we focus on character traits. Obsessing over values is like getting distracted by the half-way line when your gaze should be fixed on the end-zone.

Personality Traits vs. Character Traits

The second important distinction is between personality traits and character traits.

We all know people whose appearances don’t always match their “true colours.” Who care more about being seen as “modest,” “selfless” or “thoughtful” than about being those things. Who put on good acts but betray their heart under pressure.

This is the essential division between personality traits and character traits. Personality traits describe what you do, character traits describe who you are.

When the stakes are high or your ability to pretend is low, the character always wins.

Character Traits Definition

That’s why I focus on character traits. I’m not here to teach you to say pretty words or become a good actor. The goal is to help you redefine the core of your being.

Core values are theoretical ideas, positive personality traits can be simulated but positive character traits go right to the heart of us. They’re deep-seated, long-term patterns of action, reaction and compromise that become hard to fake when we’re stressed out or tired.

List of Positive Character Traits: 99 Examples and Definitions

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Another great way to understand traits is with a lot of examples.

To that end, I’ve compiled a long list of good character traits from diverse sources: Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations (Summary), Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (Summary), religious texts and even handbooks for aspiring samurai and chivalric knights.

This list isn’t exhaustive – you can download a longer one above. But what you’ll find below is a comprehensive collection of 99 common good traits and personal attributes from high-quality sources. I’ve also supplemented them with definitions, based mostly on the Oxford English Dictionary.

Don’t let this list overwhelm you. Skim through it, let it soak and feel free to make note of any traits that particularly inspire you. When you’re done, we’ll cover a practical step-by-step process to build them into your life.

Here’s the list of character traits:

Active – Alert, lively and ready to engage energetically. 🏃‍♂️

Adaptive – Willing to change in response to circumstances.

Affability – Friendly, good-natured or easy to talk to.

Affectionate – Showing fondness or tenderness.

Alert – Clear-thinking and intellectually active.

Ambitious – Having desire and determination to achieve success. 💯

Attentive – Showing careful attention to the comfort or wishes of others.

Austere – Disowning comforts or luxuries.

Balanced – Enjoying harmony and stability. ⚖️

Benevolent – Being well-meaning.

Careful – Prudent and showing thought or attention.

Characterful – Showing strength and originality in one’s nature.

Charitable – Kind and tolerant in judging others.

Creative – Showing inventiveness and use of imagination. 🖊️

Compassionate – Showing sympathy and concern for others.

Confident – Certain in one’s worth, abilities and qualities.

Considerate – Showing careful thought not to inconvenience or harm others.

Cooperative – Complying readily with requests to achieve mutual ends.

Courageous – Able to do things that one fears.

Curious – Showing a strong desire to know or learn new things.

Dependable – Being trustworthy and reliable.

Determined – Showing firmness of purpose. 💪

Diligent – Working carefully and persistently.

Disciplined – Doing what one knows they should do (even if they don’t feel like it).

Dispassionate – Remaining rational and impartial.

Dutiful – Conscientiously or obediently fulfilling one’s duty.

Encouraging – Giving others support, confidence or hope.

Energetic – Showing or involving great activity or vitality. 🔥

Enthusiastic – Showing intense and eager enjoyment, interest or approval.

Excellent – Being outstanding or extremely good. 👌

Faithful – Remaining loyal and steadfast.

Flexible – Ready and able to adapt to different circumstances.

Forgiving – Feeling no anger or resentment to offences or mistakes.

Friendly – Being favourable and serviceable to others.

Frugal – Sparing or economical with money or food.

Generous – Ready to give more than necessary or expected.

Gritty – Showing courage, resolve and strength of character.

Hard-working – Working with energy and commitment. 👷

Harmonious – Being free from disagreement or dissent.

Honest – Free of deceit; truthful and sincere.

Honourable – Knowing and doing what is morally right.

Hopeful – Feeling or inspiring optimism about a future event.

Humble– Having a modest or low view of one’s importance.

Independent – Thinking and acting for oneself.

Industrious – Diligent and hard-working.

Integrous – Honest and of strong moral principles.

Initiative – Assessing things and taking action independently.

Just – Behaving according to what is morally right and fair.

Kind – Being friendly, generous, and considerate.

Liberal – Respecting behaviour and opinions different from one’s own.

Listening – Take notice of and make an effort to hear others. 👂

Lively – Full of life and energy; active and outgoing.

Logical – Acting based on clear, sound reasoning.

Loving – Feeling and showing deep, selfless affection for others.

Loyal – Showing firm and constant support or allegiance.

Merciful – Showing compassion or forgiveness to those who harmed one.

Methodical – Orderly and systematic in thought or behaviour.

Mindful – Conscious and aware of the present moment.

Moderate – Avoiding excess or extremes.

Modest – Unassuming in the estimation of one’s abilities.

Neat – Tidy, smart, or well-organized.

Open-minded – Accepting of and receptive to change or new ideas.

Orderly – Neat and methodical. 📁

Organised – Structured, systematic and planning effectively.

Passionate – Having, showing, or driven by strong feelings or beliefs.

Patient – Waiting without getting tired of waiting.

Persistent – Continuing firmly despite difficulty or opposition.

Polite – Acting respectfully and considerately.

Pragmatic – Acting sensibly, realistically and practically.

Prudent – Showing care and thought for the future.

Punctual – Doing things at agreed or proper times.

Purposeful – Showing determination or resolve.

Quality – Showing general excellence of standard or level.

Rational – Thinking and acting in accordance with reason or logic. 🤔

Reasonable – Having sound judgement; fair and sensible.

Reliable – Consistently good in quality or performance.

Resolute – Admirably purposeful, determined, and unwavering.

Respectful – Showing regard for the feelings, wishes or rights of others.

Righteous – Acting according to what is morally correct.

Self-disciplined – Doing what one knows they should do (even if they don’t feel like it).

Self-controlled – Managing emotions and desires well in difficult situations.

Self-mastery – Knowing one’s traits and predispositions and managing them effectively.

Silent – More prone to listen than to speak.

Sincere – Free from pretence or deceit.

Simple – Presenting no difficulty to others.

Stable – Unchanging; not easily upset or disturbed.

Steadfast – Resolutely or dutifully firm and unwavering.

Strong – Not easily disturbed, upset, or affected.

Supportive – Providing encouragement or emotional help to others.

Temperate – Showing moderation and self-restraint.

Thrifty – Using resources carefully and not wastefully.

Tidy – Neat, orderly and controlled.

Truthful – Telling or expressing the truth; honest.

Trustworthy – Able to be relied on as honest or truthful. 🤝

Unselfish – Putting the needs or wishes of others before one’s own.

Valiant – Possessing or showing courage or determination.

Vital – Being strong, active and energetic.

Warm – Showing enthusiasm, affection, or kindness.

Wise – Showing experience, knowledge, and good judgement.

(You can send yourself a huge list of 800 positive, neutral and negative character traits (though without definitions) by using the form at the top of this post. And if you’re here because you’re a writer, you might enjoy this awesome post on how to find freelance writing jobs from my buddy Kevin while you’re at it!)

How to Embody Good Character Traits

The secret to developing good character traits is realising that each trait is a constellation of deep-seated habits.

For example, “modesty” describes many small routines of thought, word and deed which create patterns of behaviour that are consistent with our idea of “modest.”

But here’s the challenge. Because unlike big habits, the “building blocks” of character traits are hard to pick out and isolate.

What are “tolerance,” “curiosity” or “acceptance”? Defining the sums by their parts is a challenging task. And, even if we could identidy those thousands of sub-habits, they’d be too many to work on.

That’s why the approach to character traits must be slightly different from how we build habits.

From Input to Output-Based Tracking

What we need is a system similar to habit hacking but more output-focussed. This system measures the results of our actions, rather than whether or not they took place.

The solution (first described in Benjamin Franklin’s excellent Autobiography) is to flip habit tracking on its head. Instead of tracking habits (input) to change your behaviours (output), you’ll track behaviours (output) to alter your habits (input).

Specifically, you’re going to track every behaviour that fails to align with your desired character trait.

5 Steps to Hacking Your Character Traits

If this explanation sounds overwhelming, the good news is that it’s time to get practical. Building new traits into your character is incredibly simple and has five foolproof steps:

Step 1: Identify Character Traits That Inspire You

Step 2: Prioritise ONE Trait at a Time

Step 3: Set Your Trait Up for Success

Step 4: Make Your Character Trait a Habit

Step 5: Repeat the Trait Building Process

Let’s look at each step in more detail.

Step 1: Identify Good Character Traits That Inspire You

The first step in our process is to identify a handful of positive characteristics that inspire you.

Building character traits is a long journey. Starting with those that excite you (rather than those you think you should work on) will make you more likely to succeed.

There are two main ways to tackle this: the long list approach or the hero approach.

For the long list approach – re-read the list of good character traits above and note any traits that jump at you. Don’t overthink it. You should easily find 10 or more ideas in a few minutes.

For the hero approach – make a list of the people that inspire you the most. Dead or alive, fact or fiction, all choices are good. When that’s done, reflect on the two or three traits you most look up to in each of those people.

Both approaches work well, though one big advantage of the hero approach is that it unlocks something I call “hero-based thinking.”

Picturing your hero and thinking about what they’d do in a given situation makes the whole process more fun and inspiring. Many decisions and trade-offs become easier to make.

Step 2: Prioritise ONE Trait at a Time

Although the process of developing character traits is simple, it can also be challenging. Taking on too many traits at once may hold you back from changing anything. The solution is to start with one, then add more as you go.

To pick the ONE character trait you should start with, look at your shortlist and ask:

“Which of these traits would most transform my life if I embodied it?”

Narrow your selection to a few candidates, then pick ONE to get started with.

A big part of you is going to want to tackle three, four or five values at once. My recommendation is to strongly resist that temptation.

You can think of it this way. If you could embody even ONE trait like “discipline” or “kindness,” there’s a good chance you’d change beyond recognition. Why let impatience put that opportunity at risk?

Start with one trait to maximize your odds of succeeding. You can always come back for more later.