#2019 is the year of letting jacob heugh be happy

[brutlista]

jacob heugh cries     ---     frequently .  this has been highlighted in a previous post but i sincerely want to stress that this is above all else , remarkable . the idea of crying was held in synonymous opinion to the definition of failure to heugh ; after the home invasion that had occurred when he was no more than a preteen , after the panic he’d seen his mother in and how helpless she’d seemed in the face of danger , how his father had never cried , how when he was young he had seen what had been the world’s interpretation of what a man was meant to be and what separated them from the rest     ---     he bought into it , as a child , and what’s worse, his father supported it . that moment in his life was a crucial turning point for jacob heugh , and the trauma he had endured . it molded him into the man he was for several years before the birth of his first son , and before he’d first come to experience perinatal / post partum depression . if he didn’t seek therapy for the sake of his children , he might not have ever changed his mind , and the anger that had produced might have become more detrimental to himself , and to his ability to maintain relationships , be they romantic or platonic . so now he cries     ...     at times for the silliest things     ---     though not all the time / severely , it’s beginning to taper off the older he gets with proper management . but now and again his eyes will sting when he can’t open a bottle , or he stubbed his toe . when he’s the right amount of frustrated , or angry , or overwhelmed . or sometimes , even when he’s just feeling a bit blue for no other reason in particular other than to be blue . things that are almost infantile to most . it’s years of repression he’s trying to bloodlet . he lets himself feel it now when he didn’t before . he’s letting himself heal . when he’s within the security of privacy , he doesn’t try to stop it . he’s beginning to let himself be human above all else . 

#jacob heugh on a bad day is that guy everyone's terrified of fighting because he cries the whole time #jacob heugh on a bad day is probably disturbing the FUCK out of everybody because he's crying as he beats the wholesale shit out of someone #on a good day he's crying because that indistinguishable blob and scribble his kids drew in school were for him and he LOVES it #on a good day he's crying a lil because he managed to do something he kept telling himself he couldn't #jacob heugh experiences really bad depression and he should be Allowed to Cry when it gets difficult #and should not be judged or thought less of just because he's a little emotionally behind because of the toxic environment he'd grown up in #and had been immersed in for several years #2019 is the year of letting jacob heugh catch up #2019 is the year of letting jacob heugh be happy #hc .