#.idkkkk its so complicated. i love him sm hes the only dad ive got and ill necer forgive him for that but also. i still love him

[nomaishuttle]

ooo im all wobbly now. good thing i am out of beer Lest the evil demon who livedin my head

#everytime i get inebriated a little demon in my head goes One more hit would be fine. one more drink would be fine. one more gummy woudl be #fine... and its like Devil stop saying that lest i traumadump to my father abt HIS parenting. itll get awkward #luckily im less likely tom traumadumop to mydad now due to being 2500 miles away from every single person who loved me and cares abiut me #oh gd i miss my dad dude i need to call my dad.i cant right now bc im drunk adn also its 3am for him but i rly miss my dad #i havent talked to himbasically since i last saw him :[[[ #sry this is the stupid part of me talking #but man i wish i hadnt stopped talking toh im after thezoo bc i rly rly wish i had talked to him more yk #but also glad i did bc well Literally hearing his voice sent me into a panic attack after that #adn like ill never forgive him but also #im like #.idkkkk its so complicated. i love him sm hes the only dad ive got and ill necer forgive him for that but also. i still love him #i hope he knows that yk #even when he didnt love me i still loved him #yk. sry tumblr. ignore all this