#...I REALLY WANT RELOAD GAHHHHHH | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tumblunni · 7 years

Text

TFW u failed to meet your regular bodily needs for so long that when you finally piss its physically painful Dear god I'm glad I don't have a prostate Count this as the one and only time I'm grateful for being born in the wrong body! Tho seriously I am not grateful for whatever fuckd up god decided to build me with a brain that shuts down from sensory overload half the damn day. And is somehow able to get that kind of panic attack from a goddamn VIDEOGAME I think that's why I play it so much, I don't zone out cos I'm enjoying myself like with rune factory, its the sort of 'holy shit I lost three hours in the blink of an eye and I'm only compelled to keep going for the sake of a mythical stress relief at the end, and a sense that I'm a failure if I want to put the game down' Its not exactly a mood that makes it easy to win, when I'm degrading down to minimal brain function and sobbing XD This is how I was after that creepy rape imagery in Digimon cyber sleuth, I had no idea I could make myself equally as freaked out just by playing a story less sim about people suffocating. I guess suffocating is one of my biggest fears, huh... I thought I was only scared of swimming but that probably all wires up the same in my brain! Gahhhh this game makes me remember having my face slammed into the carpet with my dad trying to choke me. I blame the new headphones cos they have a bit of weight on them, I think that adds to the subconscious or something :P My forehead is so tense now! It hurts to wear them unless I flip the loopy thing behind my head but then I have to balance it on my chair and also I'm really sweating for some dumb reason and I wanna curl up under a blanket but also stick my head in the fridge God maybe that's a kind of warning games could have: warning may cause sensory overload in autistic people Tho I didn't even realise it could happen until now, seriously! I dunno it'd take a lot of playtestibg to figure out how to predict what would cause problems for different anxiety disorders. But man I wish there was a site where you could leave your own feedback and collect feedback from different disabled people. If I ever finally complete any of my visual novel ideas I wanna make sure there's stuff like this during playtesting! I wanna make all my stuff accessible! And I think its probably an important thing to think about. The podcast Extra Credits called it 'exit points', points where the player feels able to put the game down for the day. It can be bad to have too many of them in the wrong way cos it encourages people to get bored of the game. But also having too much pressure to keep playing can cause problems for moments like this. Especially when it's a scary or depressing game, but even when its like this- a completely story less puzzle sim thing that's merely very frustrating. Most people won't have a sensory overload freakout cos of frustrating stuff, but they'll still enjoy the game less if they play too long and that frustration piles up. So try and have less gameplay/story/interface/etc that makes a game 'un-put-downable', even if it seems like that'd be universally a good thing. Some games don't fit well with that! Its a shame that super difficult roguelike sim strategy whatever's are the genre most likely to have this developer strategy, when its the biggest thing that kills people's love for the game. Well, that and the heavy 'no casuals allowed, my game has to be difficult and clunky and have no form of experience system between reloads lol git gud'. Gittin gud requires practise and I hate the idea that people are just wimps if they don't wanna practise, and any form of actual encouragement to practise or reward for practise or even way of logging your progress in practising is somehow bad to put in your damn game... Gahhhh this is making me think of every bad thing in the genre gahhhh I really need some sort of ice cold drink to cure my headache and like five hours laying on the floor I was gonna make sprites today and now its 8pm gahhhhhh why did I even Turn the game on Okay I'm done now and no matter how many cravings I get to be all 'oh I'm sure if I tried again I could win', I'm not gonna do it Game deleted Need an iced juice Gahbhhh But I might try playing it again like next year or whenever it comes out of beta See if it got better, I guess Gaghhhhhh why am I so weak minded

#sorry long post

0 notes