#-ˋˏ anya . « — ★ — » 𝑰𝑭 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑲𝑵𝑬𝑾 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑰 𝑲𝑵𝑬𝑾.

[awbarnes-no]

WHAT HORROR TROPE ARE YOU? - ( THE MONSTER )

it was not your fault– at first, at least. you can not help being the way you are. and even if you could, would you choose to change? they met you with torches raised and screaming mouths, the only choice you had was to flee. but you will not stay away forever. they whisper your name in fear, and you will make sure you hurt them just as much as they hurt you.

TAGGED BY: reposted from when i took it before. TAGGING: @marvelmyriad ( jamie , aaron ) , @the-innumerable-heroes ( niko ) , @redstarsandnightmares , @penniesxdimes , @birdswings ( katya ) , @thehubb ( both muses ) , @wormholxtreme ( kaylee , v ) , @dr-foster ( and all your other blogs :P ) , @hcxcd , @trckshct , @sarcasticsnackpack

#-ˋˏ games . « — ★ — » 𝑾𝑯𝑶'𝑺 𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑫𝒀 𝑻'𝑷𝑳𝑨𝒀. #-ˋˏ anya . « — ★ — » 𝑰𝑭 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑲𝑵𝑬𝑾 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑰 𝑲𝑵𝑬𝑾.

[awbarnes-no]

THE WHAT COLOR ARE YOU QUIZ.

pink, the color of femininity, believing in yourself, and embracing the side of you that you used to reject. you aren't someone who likes to hide, but you do all the time. you don't like yourself nearly as much as you may present, one way or another. you think of yourself as a hollow castaway of someone's little matryoshka doll, or worse, something broken and thrown away. you want to believe that there's more to life, to you, than this broken frame of something you have long forgotten the name of... but what are you supposed to do, after all this time?

TAGGED BY: @birdswings , @thehubb TAGGING: @the-innumerable-heroes ( niko , sasha ) , @marvelmyriad ( bucky , jamie , sam , wade ) , @wormholxtreme ( kaylee , v ) , @brooklynfought , @redheadarcher , @redstarsandnightmares , @penniesxdimes , @ghostofwinter , @sarcasticsnackpack , @trckshct , and you !

#-ˋˏ games . « — ★ — » 𝑾𝑯𝑶'𝑺 𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑫𝒀 𝑻'𝑷𝑳𝑨𝒀. #-ˋˏ anya . « — ★ — » 𝑰𝑭 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑲𝑵𝑬𝑾 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑰 𝑲𝑵𝑬𝑾. #and here i was like . . . pink?! #but now im cryin

[awbarnes-no]

@wormholxtreme: but tell us about Anya's handler and how she got away from him. How does her relationship with him affect her relationship with other authority/parental figures?

Buckle in boys and girls, this is gonna be a bit of a post. THIS HEADCANON CONTAINS EXTREMLY TRIGGERING CONTENT!!! I just wanna get that out in the open before we dive into this. For a lot of people enslaved by HYDRA, their Handlers are the source of some very special trauma's. V is no exception.

( placing under read more to save on space and for triggers. )

She never knew his name for starters. From the day she met him when she was a girl, she only ever knew him as V. He had been a presence since she started her combat training, overseeing her training and then being her primary handler for missions. ( the Soldier being the only other person she would comply with by design. ) The HYDRA agent was also among the small number of people who ever knew about the true parentage of Anya. ( that information was never digitally recorded and any documented proof as of now is lost. )

On a good day, the dynamic the two tended to have was akin to a controlling father ( or pretending to be ) leading with a cruel method, inflicting harsh punishment on the girl for failure ( resulting in her complete aversion to failure all together. ) only to flip when she acted favorably, resulting in a desperation to please out of fear of the alternative.

There's also the added layer of the insurance he has on his control over her. When Anya was brought into the fold, she was a baby. Once she had developed enough that it was safe for her body, she underwent a surgery, chemically altering her brain to react to a pheromonal agent that certain people wore. This reaction would render her unable to deny an order given. Two were given this. One was V from day one, and later the Soldier once it was confirmed they didn't need to worry about his programming failing. Between the two of them . . . the young girl's rage could be quelled.

Tasked with attempting to unlock her mutation, V was instructed to place her on a solo mission, the Soldier bein kept outside, while she went in for a hit. The hit was rigged from the beginning, the gun she was sent in ( and given to her by V ) empty. She barely escaped with her life, but managed to complete the mission none the less. When she confronted V about it, he simply shrugged it off as if it was nothing.

All he cared about was if it happened . . .

Before she could even inquire what he meant, something snapped in the Winter Soldier, and after a fight, a bullet was ultimately fired into V's head. To the knowledge of Bucky and Anya . . . V was a dead man.

The effect V has had on Anya has lasted since that day her and Bucky made their escape. Luckily, V didn't have too much effect on her and Bucky's relationship, once she was away from him. There was enough fear of her handler to trust Bucky more, but V had been the only other authority figure she really had, and liked to play at being her father ( or so he said ) but once she was away from him, that all seemed to settle. Her trust in her immediate family ultimately winning out.

What this did effect however, is her outlook on authority figures. She doesn't trust them. At best, she's suspicious, and often times will put up walls they need to earn to right to bring down. On the other hand, she's aggressively avert toward, often times having angry outbursts when pushed too far. From a young age, Anya demonstrated a rage unparalleled by any soldier HYDRA had seen, relying on the few who had control over her to quell that. When V had control, he enjoyed pointing that rage at his enemies. She's gotten better since then. But there's still a bomb under there. Waiting to go off.

#-ˋˏ anya . « — ★ — » 𝑰𝑭 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑲𝑵𝑬𝑾 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑰 𝑲𝑵𝑬𝑾. #cw gaslighting #cw abusive childhood #cw child abuse #cw manipulation #cw mind control #cw HYDRA muse #cw HYDRA content #cw ptsd #i'm sooooo sorry this got so long #but i had to kinda go back to the beginning with these two #wormholxtreme

[awbarnes-no]

anya wants to be a mom. when she's out on a walk, she'll watch families enjoying their time together, and for a moment, will fantasize about the life that not only was taken from her parents, but the life she's pretty certain isn't meant for her. when it comes to having children, she wants to have a kid, she wants to make a life, something good instead of all the bad she's been forced to do. but she thinks she'd be a terrible mother. she doesn't think she could ever be soft enough ( oh if only she knew ) and would hate herself if someone ever came for that little baby. anya would be a great mother, but she's yet to believe that she can . . .

#-ˋˏ anya . « — ★ — » 𝑰𝑭 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑲𝑵𝑬𝑾 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑰 𝑲𝑵𝑬𝑾. #cw pregnancy #cw children #cw motherhood #cw babies

[awbarnes-no]

anya has times where she can't sleep because of the nightmares, and even staying awake will cause her mind to spiral into the memories if she doesn't have something to do. so she runs. she's got a lot of endurance, and while she was forced to run for tests, she enjoys being able to put music in, turn her brain off, and just run, especially late at night. if she's not home, she's out for a run. sometimes she'll take constantine with her, but sometimes she needs to run for hours, and obviously that doesn't always work out with the dog who isn't enhanced.

#-ˋˏ anya . « — ★ — » 𝑰𝑭 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑲𝑵𝑬𝑾 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑰 𝑲𝑵𝑬𝑾. #//her workout buddies have to be enhanced somehow #//otherwise she'll outdo them with ease.

[awbarnes-no]

CONTENT WARNING POST INCLUDES MENTION OF FOOD/EATING DISORDERS

Anya has a rocky relationship with food. On a good day, you may not notice that there has ever been a problem with her and eating, on other days she can't really stomach the idea of food. This happens for a couple reasons. One of them, is that Anya was kept on a VERY STRICT diet. Nothing fancy. Nothing extra. She was limited to what she needed, and nothing more. She was only given treats by her Handlers for jobs done well in their eyes. When she went to HYDRA however, and was started on her cryo schedule, she needed to be hooked up to a feeding tube while she was in the cryo pod. When she was out, they simply used the same method, so when she defected, there needed to be a transition period to introduce real food into her day to day life. She's gotten better since then . . . but from time to time food is too much. You may see her on some days where she eats minimal, or bland, while other days she's all over something yummy. But as a whole, her and food have a less than great relationship.

#-ˋˏ anya . « — ★ — » 𝑰𝑭 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑲𝑵𝑬𝑾 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑰 𝑲𝑵𝑬𝑾. #cw food #cw eating disorders #cw feeding tubes

[awbarnes-no]

i i'm just here to say that when anya goes out, if bucky hasn't died of old age by then . . . he's likely gonna go out with her. those two won't leave one another behind.

#-ˋˏ anya . « — ★ — » 𝑰𝑭 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑲𝑵𝑬𝑾 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑰 𝑲𝑵𝑬𝑾. #//there's others like katya this would likely happen with #//but bucky for sure . . . she would never leave behind. #//and this is mostly going off marvelmyriads bucky #//since they have been the longest running bucky for her.

[awbarnes-no]

guys i just need to pop in and say there is a 100% chance anya went through a phase where she wore a mask over the eyes like dad did. gotta have that comic reference in there somewhere. probably in her young avengers days.

#-ˋˏ mun . « — ★ — » 𝑰𝑻'𝑺 𝑴𝒀 𝑷𝑨𝑹𝑻𝒀 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑰'𝑳𝑳 𝑪𝑹𝒀 𝑰𝑭 𝑰 𝑾𝑨𝑵𝑻 𝑻𝑶. #-ˋˏ visage . « — ★ — » 𝑳𝑶𝑶𝑲 𝑰𝑵 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑴𝑰𝑹𝑹𝑶𝑹. #-ˋˏ anya . « — ★ — » 𝑰𝑭 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑲𝑵𝑬𝑾 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑰 𝑲𝑵𝑬𝑾.

[awbarnes-no]

other girls: i can fix him! anya: hah! i'm worse!

#-ˋˏ inspiration . « — ★ — » 𝑰𝑴𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑭𝑬𝑪𝑻 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑯𝑼𝑴𝑨𝑵 𝑨𝑹𝑬 𝑾𝑬. #-ˋˏ anya . « — ★ — » 𝑰𝑭 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑲𝑵𝑬𝑾 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑰 𝑲𝑵𝑬𝑾.

[awbarnes-no]

I GOT A QUESTION! What is Anya’s first choice of weaponry? // @thehubb.

it should be no surprise to anyone that much like her father , she does favor knives. she's small , but knives are easy for her to wield , and she can deal with a threat without firing a gun and exposing herself. she understands the odds begin to stack a bit more when you bring a knife to a gun fight , but that's why she always brings back up. but default though , when choosing a weapon to use in a fight , her knives are the ones she's likely to reach for. she has several too , from throwing knives , to spikes , to knives meant for cutting , she likes her sharp and pointies. ( they're also pretty effective in scaring people which helps when someone's not giving up information. ) you can get a list of her weapons at THIS POST.

#-ˋˏ anya . « — ★ — » 𝑰𝑭 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑲𝑵𝑬𝑾 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑰 𝑲𝑵𝑬𝑾. #thehubb #. thanks for the ask! #send in more guys this might be what I can do today #and like really small stuff #cw knives

[awbarnes-no]

TAG DUMP PART 2 !

#-ˋˏ visage . « — ★ — » 𝑳𝑶𝑶𝑲 𝑰𝑵 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑴𝑰𝑹𝑹𝑶𝑹. #-ˋˏ aesthetic . « — ★ — » 𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑺 𝑰𝑺 𝑨 𝑩𝑰𝑻 𝑴𝑶𝑹𝑬 𝑴𝒀 𝑺𝑻𝒀𝑳𝑬. #-ˋˏ inspiration . « — ★ — » 𝑰𝑴𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑭𝑬𝑪𝑻 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑯𝑼𝑴𝑨𝑵 𝑨𝑹𝑬 𝑾𝑬. #-ˋˏ playlist . « — ★ — » 𝑺𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑰𝑵 𝑻𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑶𝑳𝑫 𝑺𝑶𝑵𝑮. #-ˋˏ anya . « — ★ — » 𝑰𝑭 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑲𝑵𝑬𝑾 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑰 𝑲𝑵𝑬𝑾. #-ˋˏ arsenal . « — ★ — » 𝑴𝒀 𝑩𝑨𝑩𝒀'𝑺 𝑮𝑶𝑻 𝑨 𝑮𝑼𝑵. #-ˋˏ training . « — ★ — » 𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑺 𝑰𝑺 𝑨 𝑾𝑰𝑳𝑫 𝑮𝑨𝑴𝑬 𝑶𝑭 𝑺𝑼𝑹𝑽𝑰𝑽𝑨𝑳. #-ˋˏ gear . « — ★ — » 𝑻𝑰𝑴𝑬 𝑻'𝑺𝑼𝑰𝑻 𝑼𝑷. #-ˋˏ desires . « — ★ — » 𝑾𝑶𝑼𝑳𝑫𝑵'𝑻 𝑰𝑻 𝑩𝑬 𝑵𝑰𝑪𝑬. #-ˋˏ safehouses . « — ★ — » 𝑨 𝑯𝑶𝑼𝑺𝑬 𝑰𝑺 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝑨 𝑯𝑶𝑴𝑬. #-ˋˏ associates . « — ★ — » 𝑨𝑳𝑳 𝑴𝒀 𝑭𝑹𝑰𝑬𝑵𝑫𝑺 𝑨𝑹𝑬 𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑯𝑬𝑵𝑺 𝑻𝑨𝑲𝑬 𝑰𝑻 𝑺𝑳𝑶𝑾.