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musical-miranda · 7 years

Text

The Mysterious Miranda (Chapter 8)

pairing: lin manuel miranda x reader, daveed diggs x reader

summary: Your cousin Anthony drags you along to one of his neighbor’s infamous parties with his girlfriend, keeping you from a night in. Mr. Miranda, the host, is a mysterious man, but that isn’t the part that gets to you.

warnings: cheating, mild swearing (wow that’s a first), angst. A N G S T. i literally cannot prepare you for how much angst is in this chapter.

words: 3462

a/n: Alright, so this took a painfully long time to get finished, but i really believe you’ll think it was worth the wait. There’s just so much going on in this part, so it was pretty difficult to keep organized. As always, thanks a million to @secretschuylersister for checking it out for me and @digging-daveed for making the story happen.

If you want to be tagged in the next parts, just shoot me an ask!

tags: @isis278 @21phantasticromances @dvddggs @l-nmanuel @bluesnowyangel @hamrevolution

part one part two part three part four part five part six part seven part nine

“Tell me it’s not true,” your husband demanded sharply after a moment of silence. “Tell me it isn’t his.”

The realization across his face was remarkable as he put the puzzle pieces together all at once, and the room had fallen into a hugely uncomfortable silence where you didn’t even look up from your plate.

As Lin’s hand carefully reached under the table to meet yours, you let your nervous, sweaty fingers lace with his.

“Y/N…” Daveed warned dangerously, slicing the silence like a knife when you didn’t respond, and you could hear the angry pain in his voice.

You didn’t move an inch. Didn’t even blink.

His voice pierced the air in a shout just a moment later. “Y/N! Answer me, dammit!”

When you flinched back in your seat, Lin sharply turned his gaze to your husband with a distasteful look on his face. “Mr. Diggs! Let her alone, would you old sport?” He spat across the table.

Nobody was eating anymore.

Daveed’s eyes narrowed at the comment when a look flashed across his face. It almost seemed amused. Nevertheless, his tone was just as bitter when he replied. “I don’t recall asking for your opinion, Mr. Miranda.”

“Well, old sport, I don’t believe I much care.”

A brief pause.

“That’s a great expression of yours, isn’t it?” Daveed quirked an expressive eyebrow.

“What is?”

“Old sport. Where’d you pick it up?”

You gazed up from your meal, far too exhausted to deal with this, looking at Daveed. He was openly taunting Lin, trying to get him worked up, and you wouldn’t stand for it. “Now see here Daveed, if you’re going to make personal remarks I won’t stay here a minute.”

With this, he decided to stand from the dinner table and instead go to the living area right to the bar in the corner. After exchanging a quick look with Lin and Anthony, the three of you followed him out only to see him standing in the corner, sipping a mint julep.

The moment you entered the room with Lin’s hand in your own, you could feel the tension in the air, as if Daveed could tell you entered without even looking. You shifted uncomfortably.

“Mr. Miranda.” He apparently took quick note of your presence. “My understanding is that you’re an Oxford man?”

You took a seat on the sofa next to Anthony. Lin sat in the seat right beside you.

He was about to take a sip of his whiskey when Daveed addressed him, so there was a bit of a hesitation before he replied. “No, not exactly.”

“Oh yes, I understand that you went to Oxford.” His tone was rather accusatory.

Lin just swallowed his whiskey and looked across the room at the man. “Well yes, I went there-”

Before Lin even finished the sentence, Daveed was interrupting him with sharp laughter. “Sure! The man in the pink suit went to Oxford. Tell me, exactly when did this happen?”

“Daveed!” You gaped at him. In your three and a half years of marriage, he had never made such personal remarks as he did that night.

“I said I went there, didn’t I?” Lin bit back, downing the rest of his whiskey in one gulp. “I was there for five months in nineteen-nineteen, that’s why I can’t really call myself an Oxford man, Mr. Diggs. It was an opportunity some of us officers got after fighting in the war.”

Daveed didn’t even need to reply, for the look of defeat on his face said it all. He was now standing across the room from Lin instead of at the bar, and he was shocked speechless. By the looks of it, he expected some extravagant lie to come out of his mouth, so the humble words from Lin were a surprise.

“Open up the whiskey, and I’ll make you a drink, dear.” You couldn’t help your smirk when you made your way over to the bar. “Then you won’t seem so stupid to yourself.”

“Oh, you couldn’t make a good drink to save your life,” the man shot back, causing you to laugh out.

“Well, suit yourself. Anthony, my darling, would you care for a drink? What about you, Lin?” Lin walked up right behind you and let one of his hands rest on your waist, setting his empty glass on the countertop.

As you poured him a glass of whiskey over the ice he had left, Daveed spoke up again, this time in a softer tone. “Are you having another child, Y/N?”

You sat back on the couch after getting Anthony a glass of whiskey as well, propping your legs up on the ottoman. “So what if I am? You never cared for the first one, now did you?”

You knew it was a touchy subject to bring up, but it seemed that all boundary lines had been erased this night and if Daveed was going to make personal remarks, you would shoot them right back at him.

When he drew in a sharp breath to keep from exploding, you knew you were in dangerous territory, almost jumping between landmines. “How dare you? I cared for her more than you will ever know.” His voice was dangerously low.

“Then where were you, Daveed?” You cried out in response. “When our little girl needed her father, where were you? Where were you when I had her? During her second birthday party, where were you? When she was dying in the hospital, Daveed, where were you?”

Lin wiped a tear from your cheek.

Your voice got louder as you continued to speak. “Oh, that’s right. You were with your mistress! Elizabeth, she never knew her father, but goddamn did she love you! You never deserved all the love she had for you. Why, she had more love in her little finger than you have in your entire body.”

With this, Daveed slammed down his glass on the table, spilling the contents all over his hand and the mahogany surface. “Oh, you are absolutely crazy! It’s bad enough all I’ve been through with you, but to mention our daughter, to accuse me of being a bad father? I won’t stand for it!”

“All that you’ve been through with me? That’s hysterical! I have been the one suffering, Daveed. Don’t you see? I’m in a loveless marriage with a man who’s never there for me!”

“Nonsense! You’re just making a mockery of me.”

Even though all that you said was true, you knew it wasn’t worth fighting with him; he always found a way to win. You just leaned back on your couch and sipped your tea.

“Well, Mr. Diggs, we should get going now, shouldn’t we?” Anthony got up from his seat and looked between Daveed and Lin, but if the look on Daveed’s face was anything to judge from, this conversation was far from over.

“I’ve got one more question for Mr. Miranda,” your husband announced rather loudly as he went back to making drinks.

Anthony sat back on the couch, and Lin took a small step closer to you, gaze fixated on

Daveed even though his back was turned. “Oh please, please go on Mr. Diggs, go on.”

“What kind of a row are you trying to cause in my house anyhow?”

You sat up straight at this with a dumbfounded expression, just shaking your head. “He isn’t causing a row, you’re causing a row! Please have a little self-control.”

“Self-control? Oh! I suppose the latest thing is to sit back and let Mr. Nobody from Nowhere make love to your wife.” Daveed snorted a laugh. “Well, if that’s the idea you can count me out. See nowadays-”

“Your wife doesn’t love you,” Lin declared before the man could finish his sentence, grabbing onto your hand. It felt like your heart could jump out of your chest at any moment. “She never loved you. See, she loves me.”

Daveed set down the bottles and glass before turning around to look at Lin in disbelief. “You must be crazy.”

Lin just shook his head. “No old sport. No, you see, she never loved you. She only married you because she thought I died at war. It was a terrible, terrible mistake, but in her heart… In her heart, she never loved anyone but me.”

Anthony got back to his feet. “Really, I should get going!”

You stood up right behind him. “I’ll walk them out!”

“Sit down, Y/N!” Daveed snapped, but you didn’t listen.

Lin’s fingers softly brushed against the exposed skin on your arm as he whispered in your ear, “Please. Please take a seat. Go on, dear.”

You hesitantly did as he said and he knelt by your side, holding one of your hands between both of his.

“Y/N. What’s been going on? I want to hear all about it,” Daveed insisted, but Lin quickly kissed your forehead and cut him off.

“I told you what’s been going on. It has been going on for five years.”

Daveed nearly choked on his drink at this, and he looked right at you, lips pursed. “I’m sorry... You’ve been seeing him… For five years?”

“No. No, not seeing. We couldn’t meet, we weren’t able to, but we loved each other that whole time. Didn’t we?”

“Oh, that’s all?” His laughter was more like a roar than anything as his voice grew more desperate. “You’re crazy! All of that is a god damn lie! My wife loved me when we got married, and she loves me now.”

“No, no. I’m sorry, Mr. Diggs, but you’re wrong.”

“She does, though! And what’s more, I love her too.” Daveed turned his attention to you, and his voice softened. “Sure, once in awhile I go off on a spree, but I come back. I always come back. I love you, Y/N.”

You watched as Lin stood up, shaking his head in disbelief.

“In my heart, I love her. I love her all the time.”

“You’re revolting! Do you know why we left Chicago, Lin?” The moment the words came out of your mouth, you were on your feet and walking towards a window. You were growing more hysterical with every word as the tears rushed down your face. “I’m surprised they didn’t treat you to the story of that little spree!”

Lin followed closely behind you, letting one hand hold your waist to help soothe you, and he pressed his lips against your ear when he whispered. “That’s all over now, darling, it’s all over. Go on and tell him the truth. Get it off your shoulders, that you never loved him.”

“How could I love him, possibly?” You cried out, staring at your husband. He slammed down the bottle he was holding immediately.

For a few moments, you just stared at him through your teary eyes while Lin tried to coax you into saying what you wanted to say. There was a brief staredown before you averted your eyes to your feet. With a weak, defeated voice, you whispered, “I… I never loved him.”

“Never?” Daveed moved to stand across from you at the piano, rubbing his empty hands together slowly. He was nervous.

“No.”

“Not at Cote d’Azur?”

“No…”

Your husband's voice had grown tender by this point, and it seemed he nearly had tears in his own eyes. “Not that day I carried you in from the party in Tenerife, just to keep your shoes dry?”

A sob caught in your throat and you nearly fell down crying at this point. The night was never supposed to go like this. Lin was never supposed to blurt out that you didn’t love Daveed, not tonight. You hadn’t prepared for this. It was too late now.

“Never?” His soft voice broke through your thoughts again, and that’s when you lost it.

“Oh, Lin, you want too much! Isn’t it enough that I love you now?” Your soft hand reached up to hold his face so he didn’t turn away, looking into his eyes. “The past is far behind us, Lin. I did love him once, but-but I loved you too!”

The look of disbelief on Lin’s face left you in utter shock and you realized something right then. When Lin left for the war five years before, he didn’t expect you could love anybody other than himself. He expected that, during your five years of waiting for him, another man wouldn’t snatch your affections.

Before he could even utter a word, you yanked away from his touch and stormed to the other side of the room. “I’m tired of being a pawn in your silly little games!” You cried out through your soft sobs as Anthony tried to comfort you. “And that goes for the both of you.”

Just as you hoped, they were stunned silent.

“You can’t just fight for my love, that isn’t how this works. I’m not a prize to be won, and I’m disgusted that either of you think that of me anyhow. Can’t you see that I’m a person too? Frankly, I don’t recall offering to be your play toy, either of you. So go on now, keep arguing with each other and see where it gets you. It certainly won’t get you any closer to me.”

With that, you stormed out of the sitting room rather dramatically, heading straight for the yards out back. As you walked down the stone path through the vast gardens, your tears came to a slow stop, and before you knew it, you were barely even sniffling. You chalked it up to leaving the hostile environment.

It wasn’t too long before you realized you’d reached your beach and a brief moment of your observation later, you let out a soft laugh filled with bitterness. Less than twenty-four hours ago, you stood exactly opposite this spot on Lin’s dock, staring at the elusive green light, spinning now just three feet from you. It was utterly ridiculous.

The colossal significance of that green light had diminished the moment you were within Lin’s reach once again. It was just a green light. Nothing more, nothing less. Still, he held onto the symbolic light with his life, as if it was his only hope.

You finally realized that Lin had spent the last five years building this entire fantasy life with you and in his eyes, it was finally coming true. His fantasy was slowly becoming a reality. He was so fixed on this vision that he was completely blind to the roadblocks in the way of it; he didn’t realize that this was causing you pain.

So as you watched the green light draw closer to you before pulling its radiance away, you couldn’t help but wonder if it would all be worth it in the end, or if the suffering would outweigh the joy you’d feel at the end. Your hands both found their way to rest on your stomach with a soft sigh and, just a moment later, you swore you could feel a small flutter in your stomach.

A bright smile broke out across your face at the slight movement and you let out a laugh under your breath. Tears began forming in your eyes and, for the first time this night, they were happy. You were happy. For just a moment, the rest of the world dissipated and it was just you and your baby.

Your hands moved slowly around your stomach to locate the movement with a grin across your face. Although there wasn’t a bump yet, seeing as you were just under two months along, you could feel your dresses getting just a bit tighter around your hips and your shoes doing the same around your feet.

Absolutely nothing could rival your excitement about this baby.

But you knew you couldn’t bring another child into your belligerent home with Daveed. Especially not a child that wasn’t his.

Lin really was your only choice at this point. The man truly loved you, you knew it, but with five years of build-up in his mind, you were worried you wouldn’t live up to his fantasies. He held you up on such a high pedestal; it would take a lot to live up to that.

However, that was not the issue at hand. Right now, your focus had to be the drama presently going on in your house. For all you knew, the two men were in the midst of a fist fight in your sitting room.

When two arms wrapped around your waist from behind, you immediately recognized them as Lin’s, but instead of melting into his arms, you pulled away from his touch. “I can’t do this right now, Lin,” you breathed out in response to his confused expression.

Hesitantly, the man took two steps away from you with furrowed eyebrows. “Darling, darling, what’s wrong?” He asked, his voice barely louder than the waves crashing against the shore.

“This entire night, Lin! Everything is going terribly. We were only supposed to tell him about the baby, then you were meant to go home after you made sure I was safe! That’s the only reason you came with me tonight. To make sure I was safe.” Though you weren’t quite yelling, your voice was raised higher than normal so Lin knew you were serious.

The man had no words as he looked down at his feet with his lips pursed. Whether he was actually speechless or just afraid to say something wrong, you couldn’t be sure. But you were sure that you were finished putting up with this.

“Go home, Lin. I will call when I’ve finished cleaning up the mess you’ve made, but I cannot discuss this tonight.”

“I don’t-”

“Go home. Poor Anthony has been ready to leave since he arrived.”

With that, he disappeared from your sights as quickly as he came and you gazed out at the water yet again. As a thick mist gradually settled just above the bay and stretched out as far as the eye could see, Lin’s mansion faded from your view and you found yourself staring at nothing.

Just as you were getting ready to head inside for the night, Daveed’s soft voice came from behind you. “Sweetheart..?”

“What do you want?” Your voice was perhaps a bit harsher than you had anticipated but it made him flinch back a step.

A soft sigh left his lips. “Darling, I’m terribly sorry for my behavior tonight.”

“You say that too often for me to believe you.”

“I truly mean it this time. It may but hard to believe, but you are not just a prize for me to show off. You’re so much more.”

“Oh, stop it with the pity lies, Daveed. You only married me because I look good on your arm.”

“That’s not true.” His voice was defensive, but he didn’t argue. “I was out of line tonight.”

“That’s the first true thing you’ve said all evening. You were absolutely appalling. I knew you were a brute of a man before, but you really showed your true colors tonight.”

“Y/N-”

“Save it, Daveed. I’m going to bed.”

You turned to walk back inside the mansion with that and headed straight for the bedroom, letting a sigh come from your lips. When you laid down on the bed in your night gown and let yourself finally calm just a bit, the entire night played through your head a few times over.

Things you could have said differently echoed in the back of your mind, and alternate situations played out in your head but left as quickly as they came. Although there were numerous things you wished you had done differently, you knew that this was the reality you had to live. There was no changing the past.

“I’m not upset because of the baby,” Daveed spoke up. When you looked over, he was standing in the doorway of your bedroom in his pajamas, clearly just as exhausted as you were. You hadn’t even heard him come in.

Just as you opened your mouth to call him out, you were cut off. “I’m upset because I’m only now realizing something.”

As you fought the sleep that threatened to take over your entire body, you raised both of your eyebrows just a bit. “And what would that be?”

“I’m in love with you.”

And though he had uttered the words “I love you” a multitude of times in passing, he had never explicitly said he was in love with you. You almost said that he was bluffing, but his tone of voice eliminated that thought immediately. For the first time in four years of knowing him, his voice was sincere and nothing but.

He couldn’t be lying.

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