#(probably smth to do w alters but im pretending thats not real bc i dont want to deal w it!!!!!)

[piplupod]

a little peeved bc i dont think im stable enough to attend pride and i haven't been to any sort of pride event in like three years or more, and even tho pride here is rly goofy and lackluster, it would still be nice to like... see real ppl and know im not the only queer person in this awful town lol. like i know im not but. u know. its different actually seeing it.

anyways im just peeved w my brain that i cant go bc of a fucked up traumatized organ

#i am !! upset !!! to say the least!!!! #im going to rot away and die here i stg #i have been dissociated off my ass all day and nothing feels real and i've just been sitting and i've barely eaten bc nothing is real #and im so fhdsgsdjfkl endlessly frustrated #why did i almost start crying earlier? WHO KNOWS! brain just decided to be upset! #(probably smth to do w alters but im pretending thats not real bc i dont want to deal w it!!!!!) #anyways. fuck trauma for real lol. this shit sucks and i want out. im done w it. im fuckin tired #life ruining lmfao #vent cw