#(and kill me for saying this but my ex is objectively a better kisser)

[todaviia]

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#existential crisis warning #first me and [redacted] made out for like an hour #and I marvelled at the fact how NICE it was #and nice here means I enjoyed it but in a quantifiable way while being 100% sure that it's a painlessly casual thing now #(and kill me for saying this but my ex is objectively a better kisser) #and then we went to a lecture about trauma and psychological first aid together #which was held at a synagogue by a very experienced mental health provider who is also very religious #and it was SO crazy because like... In Germany growing up with relatives who survived the Nazis is very much a minority experience #and here it's just like... he talks about growing up with severely traumatised Holocaust survivors #and everyone is just nodding along like yeah yeah don't we all know it #and then he talked about the everyday trauma of the war and how it affects ppl and it really is a million small things #and I love Israel so much for this #Like I don't think it's a stable foundation for anything - it's the opposite #But it's such a damn relief that everyone just Gets It #There is something so REAL about here #and when we were in the cab [redacted] immediately bonded with the cab driver #who proudly showed off pics on his phone of his son with nine children (while driving bc Israel) #and then he asked [redacted] if we're married and when he said no he asked - completely seriously and casually- #'oh when's the wedding then?' #and it's weird because I almost got married to my ex #and it's all... so incredibly simple #you have one small life and that is all that you have #And all the worst things that can happen on earth and all the best things can fit into it without even bending a little bit