#(IT'S THE MOST. BIZARRE JOURNAL SERIES EVER and although my humor style has very much changed i still think they're funny as hell.)

[whoslaurapalmer]

i’ve been rereading my middle school fanfic journals and like. there’s. a lot i could say about them like content-wise and the backstory on them that’s interesting to me but i don’t think anyone else is terribly interested in but the REALLY BIG POINT HERE THAT BLINDSIDES ME WHEN I REREAD THEM IS THIS --

so i wrote down the date/time/location every time i wrote in them, like, even just throughout the same day. i primarily wrote in them during school, and even when i just, changed from one class to the other, i wrote that down. and any single possible CONCEIVABLE spare second of time available in the school day, between math problems, between writing assignments or reading, i was writing in these fanfic journals. any goddamn second of time!!! during breaks in fucking school testing!!!! i wrote in those journals. like, what a fucking dedication to the art

the real kicker here, though, is that those fanfic journals, of which there are, eleven in total, are not the ONLY fanfic journals i wrote in middle school. there were. also. five other fancy notebooks, spread over the three years of middle school, two (maybe three??) sketchbooks, a LOT of spiral notebooks, and let’s not forget that this time period was also the time period of the million words of fanfic i wrote on my laptop. and this is not counting the separate original fic and poetry i did at the time, too!!!!! goddamn

#i'm just. like. god younger!me didn't care about form or narrative (although there's actually. a LOT of narrative jokes #a lot of meta jokes. a lot of jokes about the fanfic being written IN A JOURNAL. COMMENTED ON. BY THE CHARACTERS.) or it being good #although she thought it was GREAT. she was just WRITING FOR WRITING #i mean. i'm glad that i've grown as a writer but i do envy the DEEP WRITING FRENZY middle school me maintained at all times. #(god like i cannot stress enough the CHARACTERS IN THE FIC COMMENTED ON PEN COLOR/PAGE COUNT/DID NARRATION #AND COMMENTED ON THE NARRATION. THE NARRATION OFTEN //APPEARED IN PHYSICAL SPACE// #THE MEDIA CANON WAS DISCUSSED FREQUENTLY AS EXISTING SIMULTANEOUSLY AND SEPARATE FROM FIC CANON. #MY GENUINE REAL LIFE EXPERIENCES AT THE TIME AND //IN THE LOCATION// WERE MADE PART OF PLOTS) #(IT'S THE MOST. BIZARRE JOURNAL SERIES EVER and although my humor style has very much changed i still think they're funny as hell.) #lulu reads her middle school journals