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truthbeetoldmedia · 5 years

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The 100 6x10 “Matryoshka” Review

You know, when I was assigned this episode to review, I wasn’t expecting to be discussing a moment like THAT (you all know what I’m referring to), so please, be kind while I process by obsessively refreshing Twitter and try to put my thoughts together.

There’s definitely a lot going on in this episode, some of which I LOVED (take a wild guess on what part that is folks), and some of which I was less than fond of. It’s all high tension and high stakes, even more than the last. I’m a big fan of the moves they made to set everything into place; this is probably one of my favorite episodes of the season.

Action and Reaction

Here’s the thing. Putting almost all of your characters in one place forces conversation and development, which can turn out fascinating, or it can illuminate the truly unnecessary plot points and characters that have been hanging on all season.

Raven and Abby are back from space and being taken prisoner like the rest of the Arkadians when Simone, angry about the loss of both the synthetic nightblood and the mind drive they used for Kane, tells Abby that Clarke is dead. As the audience we know that this isn’t exactly true, but Abby has no reason to think she’s alive, since every other host body is completely taken over by whoever’s mind drive is put in that body.

I was pretty peeved with both Raven and Abby’s reactions to Clarke’s “death,” even though it’s been an ongoing joke online that Josie!Clarke could basically say and do anything and Abby still wouldn’t notice that something was up with her daughter. Raven’s been mad at Clarke for the entire season, so I guess I understand a lack of reaction on her part — but Abby? Her lack of reaction is only so off-putting because just last episode we saw an absolute outpouring of grief over Kane. It makes no sense that the news of her only child’s death wouldn't even garner 10% of that.

The thing is, that’s poor characterization either way. Failing to show an emotional response that makes sense is a failure of the writing, and making her grief over Kane much more significant than over Clarke on purpose only highlights how far gone she is. That’s not a character worth keeping around, especially if this difference in emotion and priority is never addressed (and I don’t think it’s going to be). If the writers room is so keen on keeping her around they need to put some effort into showing the audience why that’s worthwhile. I know there are people who like Abby, but when it comes down to plot, what purpose does she serve? In a cast so large they need to trim loose ends or suffer for it, and I think hanging onto Abby for so long is an example of that. What has she done all season besides hole up in the library looking for a way to heal Kane, who’s been technically dead since the Season 5 finale? You could argue that they need her for the synthetic nightblood, but giving Becca’s notebook to Raven and having her do it also makes sense, especially since Abby doesn’t even leverage that ability when she should. Case in point: when Russell decides to burn them all at the stake after Simone’s murder, Murphy is the one who brings up being able to make nightblood from bone marrow, thereby saving everyone from a super vintage execution (for now).

While we’re at it — I can’t believe Abby is actually mad at Murphy for helping the Primes, even though he and Emori explain that they both thought Clarke was actually dead and nothing could be done about it. Sure, what Murphy did was a little cold and sketchy at best, but it’s right on brand. Clarke’s dead? Nothing can be done about it? Better leverage this to my advantage. Self preservation, baby. That’s much less than Abby did literally ONE episode ago, being fully complicit in Gavin’s murder and actually recruiting him to host Kane’s mind drive even though she knew exactly what would happen.

That’s exactly why these scenes with everyone felt stale: not every character is pulling their weight, and when that happens the scene gets bogged down with unnecessary interactions. There’s too many characters that really only take up space. Characters like Jackson, Miller, Niylah, and even Echo are dead weight at this point. Again, I know that these characters have their fans. That doesn’t change the fact that as far as the narrative is concerned, they're all relatively useless. Just being a named character doesn’t automatically give them significance, that significance has to be shown. What exactly does Miller bring to the show? Or Niylah? Even if they were once important that importance is dwindling if not non-existent. Miller could have been a compelling character: he was Bellamy’s right hand man in Season 1. He’s one of the original hundred. They could have done more with him, but in reality he’s replaceable. If you took Miller, Jackson, and Niylah out of the show, nothing would change. You could even say the same for Abby and Echo; they have more screen time than the rest, but Abby’s continued presence on the show feels forced and Echo is far from a developed character. Their “skills” can easily be transferable to other characters. Characters like Jordan and Emori are MUCH more compelling.

Another thing that drags the episode down (and the season, if I’m being honest)? The whole “Sheidheda” making Madi a murder princess. I absolutely cannot fathom WHY grounder culture is still a thing on this show. They are on another planet, over a century later, with a thousand better things to focus on. I understand that Madi’s nightblood is significant, and the flame might be as well (from a technology standpoint). But why introduce this “dark commander”? if they wanted Madi to go full assassin, the pain of losing Clarke would have been enough to justify it. Also, what point does Madi/Sheidheda being so threatening towards Gaia serve? Having to listen to anything about the commanders is honestly exhausting, and it’s holding the show back. They’ve moved on (literally) in almost every capacity, and the show’s tendency to beat a dead horse only ever backfires.

Not to sound too harsh, but that feeling I get whenever someone calls Madi “heda” is the same feeling I get if I’m at a party and this one person can only talk about how great high school was. This again? We’re in our late twenties. High school wasn’t great. Please, let it go.

With that being said, they are setting up the next episode in a way that makes me think they might take the flame out of Madi for good, so we’ll see how that goes.

Now, there are some compelling pieces here: it was nice to see Raven go back to being sciencey and a little bit philosophical after almost a full season of nothing but self-righteousness. Her conversation with Murphy about morality, not immortality, as a way to avoid hell was well done. The 100 loves a good morality conversation, and with things getting more dire in Sanctum and the growing comparisons between the Primes and Arkadians I’m sure that’s not the last we’ll hear of it.

Getting almost everyone in one place, setting the stage for getting the dark commander out of Madi’s head, and setting up one last ditch effort to appease the Primes was great. The pacing in this case was well done and well executed, despite the issues that I did have, and I know that the final showdown will be epic.

The hold that the Primes have over Sanctum is disintegrating, to put it mildly, and my guess is that a mass witch trial-esque execution isn’t exactly the way to put the populace at ease.

There’s even an internal rebellion being incited by Ryker, who tells Delilah’s parents and another man that their loved ones aren’t “one with the Primes,” that nothing is left of the original host when the Prime’s mind drive takes over, and they’ve been lied to for decades. I’m curious to see the reaction when everyone in Sanctum learns the truth.

The Primes are Dead. Long Live the Primes.

Here’s the thing about the Primes and the Arkadians — they’re so concerned with not being like each other that they conveniently ignore or justify what they’re doing. Russell is hellbent on not ending up like the Arkadians, but how, in any way, are the Primes better than the Arkadians? At their current positions, I’d say that the Primes are decidedly worse. Here’s the thing, though — they’ve had time. Josie said it herself — she wasn’t always like this. Give the Arkadians a few centuries, and who's to say they wouldn’t devolve into something similar?

The driving force for both groups has always been taking care of “their people.” What’s not usually discussed is that in order to put your people first you need to put other people last. Someone almost always suffers, it's just about prioritizing that suffering.

It circles back around to that question of trying to save humanity but never bothering to question if it even should be saved. Sure, the Primes can live forever. Should they?

Clarke even gets a glimpse of Josie’s morality, or the morality she used to have, as their minds start to disintegrate and Josie’s memories bleed into Clarke’s mind space. We see Josie in love with Gabriel, watching that memory fondly until she absolutely has to let it go. In another episode, Clarke already discovered that memory of Josie’s from that diner on Earth.

Finally, when Gabriel and Octavia find Bellamy and Clarke/Josie and Gabriel is about to take out her mind drive, almost all of her memories are gone. Eliza Taylor absolutely kills this whole scene, and I actually could have shed a tear for Josie when she speaks through Clarke, saying she can’t remember, but she’s sure she did terrible things.

Josie had morality. Josie lost it.

The entire run of the show has been exploring morality and what it means — no simple task, I know. I think, however, that Gabriel really embodied that when he let Josie die. He said it himself, he’s been in love with her for centuries. But he needs, everyone needs, the cycle to stop. Putting an end to using hosts is the only way to do it.

That’s Love, Bitches

I mean… come on. Come ON.

This scene was everything. Well acted, well written, well directed. I cried, you cried, everyone cried. Twitter imploded. I’ll go to my grave being adamant that Bellamy and Clarke’s relationship is THE best and most well done thing about the show. The entirety of the sixth season is built on Clarke being gone and Bellamy fighting for her to come back. Love, sacrifice, forgiveness — all are main tenets of The 100, and all are wrapped up in Bellamy and Clarke.

It’s crystal clear that they’re paralleling Gabriel and Josie with Bellamy and Clarke. Josie dies, Gabriel letting her go while saying that their time is over, only for Bellamy to immediately bring Clarke back? Josie and Gabriel’s time is over, and Bellamy and Clarke’s is starting. A literal new life.

They really threw every romantic trope at them this episode. Clarke’s heart stopping in front of Bellamy and him pleading for her to come back? Bellamy saying he needs her? The CPR? The remnants of Josie try to kill Clarke, and she only comes back when she hears Bellamy’s voice? The first thing she sees when she comes back is Bellamy’s face? Octavia’s smirk in the back? The audacity.

This scene was lead up to with a full six seasons of development — from the beginning they were the head and the heart. Gabriel said it, the heart needs the head to tell it to beat. Clarke, clinging to her mind space, only came back because Bellamy restarted her heart. He’s her literal heart, guys.

Bellamy has thought Clarke was dead three times now — the first was during Praimfaya, the second when he discovered Josie was inhabiting Clarke’s body. Both of those times he could only witness and not do anything, so you better believe he wasn’t going to let Clarke die if he had anything to say about it.

There is a clear stage for romantic Bellarke being set here, and anyone who says otherwise is not watching the same show. You don’t have to like it, but it’s happening.

Honestly, anything I could say about this has already been said. Just know that this episode killed me, and I’ll be watching the next one from the afterlife.

Alyssa’s episode rating: 🐝🐝🐝🐝

The 100 airs Tuesdays at 9/8c on the CW.

#The 100 #Matryoshka

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survivor-kalymnos · 4 years

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Ep. 3 - “They gotta realize that we are running shit here!!” - Franaco

Elle

The plan went off without a hitch. Now that Frank is gone, Sasha is the clearest person to be next on my alliance's radar because they are the least active out of themselves and Maxyne. Plus, I like Maxyne so I want to do everything that I can to keep them in this game. I hope it does not come down to the alliance of 6 versus Maxyne because I do not want to send Maxyne home. I hope that situation will not be something that we have to do deal with. For now, I want everyone to get along and win this next challenge which I have faith in our tribe in.

Elle

Sometimes it sucks not being me because now I cannot dictate my whole tribe on the timing of the challenge. I would like to know when the challenge is being done because I want to actually win it. Also, why did Van disappear off the face of the Earth? I am literally so fucking frustrated with this entire tribe. Could you guys please get your shit together? I am begging you!!!! At the very least we have an easy vote out next tribal in the form of Sasha. I do not think anyone is really aligned with them, so I think they would be an easy vote off. I just do not want to have to vote out Maxyne any time soon and going to tribal increases those odds tenfold. I cannot be the guesser because I am bad at it, but if you are going to volunteer for a position then at least have the decency to tell us your availability. God.

Michele

Finding nemo...more like finding gregg

Rain

So! I just participated in immunity for the round. I will say... knowing that I was kinda at the whim of the people whether I got things right or not? Feels fucking great. I can’t be to blame if we lose. Only everyone else for saying forbidden words. APPARENTLY Lenny is already planting seeds of vote Gregg out which, as I mentioned in my last confession, I wouldn’t be horridly upset about. To ice the cake, Gregg wasn’t super around for the challenge, so... womp womp. I’m super happy with the names alliance - it’s just 4 pals vibing, bullying each other lightly. Out of the four, id probably say Franco is my favorite? We just mesh the most. I wouldn’t hate having a finale pact with them but it’s WAY too early game to talk about that outside of this safe little box. See you after results!

Tristin

So I hope we can win the challenge!! I tried really hard but I threw out some of disallowed words and got our tribe some negative points! I think that Rain was a great guesser and did some good work because I would have flopped lol.

Franco

Taboo is my new fave survivor challenge. That shit was so chaotic. But also so fun. Lenny is now planting seeds about Gregg not participating and sis.... that's just tea. Gregg hasn't been around a lot and doesn't seem like mUCH of a team player. I'm sure if we lose we're going to have another unanimous vote against him. But Lenny was also planting seeds about Rain round 1, so we'll see what comes to fruition! Either way Lenny is planting seeds and I am LIVING for it.

Lenny

Okay so gregg did not contribute at all to that challege. Did you think I wouldn’t notice? Communication is everything when it comes to this game. If you choose to or not to, says a lot about you as a player. I’ve been intentional with how much I’ve interjected or shared. Now I am deciding if I want to make alliances this week.

elle

My tribe has to be a little dumb because we had three instances of illegal words. My eyes are rolling so hard. It ain't that hard to not use a word jeez

cranjes

i swear to god if there’s a swap and i get swapfucked at least i have my idol. i like my 6 person alliance and i hope that we survive whatever is gonna happen

Franco

we lost :( sad :( oh well I actually don't care. I'm almost certain I'm not in any danger, I have strong connections with the tribe and I feel like this vote should be another unanimous one. Everything is falling into place. Gregg should be the vote and literally everyone else has said that. I'm starting to get bored in this game, but I gotta calm down. When I get bored I get messy, and I'm in such a good place in this game I can't afford that right now. I'm just gonna chill with the strategy stuff and try to establish more prominent social connections, that will calm down my need to do something

Dusty

Holy shit we just killed that challenge!! I volunteered to be the guesser, and it looks like my Catchphrase skills have finally payed off. I think that after this tribal there will be a swap, which should be nervewracking but im ready to take this on! I need some more excitement in this game. Right now i feel the best with Erick, Cranjes, and Fae. Going into a swap or expansion our tribe has higher odds of being in majority on each tribe, so i am not too nervous. I've still got my half of the super idol that Erick gave to me, so we have to scout out now for who might have it. Me and erick spoke and i think we are both willing to work with the other tribe if it means being on the side with the super idol power.

Elle

Sasha is a very hard person to socialize with. It is as if no matter what I say they will always just respond with one or two words. They never start conversations, only finish them with their short and curt responses. That attribute could be useful as a goat later on, but I am just having a hard time justifying working with them when I have a solid alliance and actually fun conversations with other people. They could be an easy vote no matter what tribe I am on, however. This is important because I feel that there is a swap coming soon. This scares me because my game right now is very much on the social aspect which takes time and effort. I would need someone really inactive or really bad at challenges on my tribe to have guaranteed safety in a tribal council on a swapped tribe. I just hope that my tribe has majority in OG Plati members when I swap does come.

Fae

A lot happened. We won the challenge Someone found out that the idol has been found (although that was last round lol) I told none of them it was me because I honestly don’t trust anyone. Haha I love trust issues. Probably a swap next round. Ooo almost put the wrong round. Haha

cranjes

dusty raised concerns about van and honestly i feel the same. van is very like shallow in conversation and is loyal to the six for now, but definitely has further plans that don’t involve us all in them.

Franco

So Eliza and I were talking, and being the Survivor Social and Strategic Superstars that we are, decided itd be smart to split votes this round. If gregg has an idol we don't want him deciding who goes to redemption. We have a clear unanimous tribe consensus and majority, why not split votes? Right? Makes sense? Very obvious survivor strategy? Yes? Then? Why are? Rain and michele? Not understand?? Ing?? Why?? We wanna split?? Votes?? It just makes sense!! It's obvious!! Rain is scared of overplaying and ruffling feathers but..... We literally have a clear majority. They gotta realize that we are running shit here!! We are not putting ourselves at risk, its just a safety net!!

Eliza

Dear diary... So we lost, am I surprised? Absolutely not, but shit happens. So obviously we all want gregg, Gregg didn’t help in the challenge as much as everyone else and no one really has any relationships or connections with them. But the weird thing is, this vote feels too easy, not the good kind of too easy where everyone agrees and all that’s left is the person trying to save themselves, no. Gregg disappears from dms when tribal is brought up and is very calm, they haven’t thrown out names or anything, just kinda there and it’s stressing Franco and I out because on top of that Rain AND Worm both said that there’s an empty spot in idol hunt cause someone found something, I’m right with people but wouldn’t be surprised if someone had something and didn’t tell me. But I think it’s very likely that the reason gregg is calm is cause he has an idol, Franco and I then decided that because we have numbers and would like some reassurance us two would throw our votes on Lenny, making it a 5-2-1 vote so that way if gregg plays an idol he doesn’t get the sole vote deciding who leaves, look. I love lenny, she’s very sweet but I’d rather her than someone in the Elizance (rain renamed it). We Franco and I brought up the idea (without making it seem like we had already decided on it) rain for some reason really was against it, Franco and I had no clue why and we still have no clue why, I mean we have numbers so we might as well split vote while we can. The worst think that could happen is if gregg doesn’t have an idol and that’s not even a bad thing???? Like we don’t get why rain is so adamant about it being a 7-1 vote, but there’s something about how stubborn they are about it that I just can’t trust.

Van

We won the challenge! I feel bad that I wasn’t able to participate very much because of my appointment, but I’m still proud of my tribe! However, Jay’s last line about making sure you’re around after tribal is sketchy to me. With Jay as a host, you never know what’s going to happen.

Rain

We lost immunity. Immediately after - and even, per my last confession, before results - Gregg’s name was coming out. And we lost, so people jumped on that boat. My GENIUS allies (Recap: Elizance - Eliza, Franco, Michelle, and moi) are like “Mmm, the inactive going home feels too easy.” And to be fair, they’re right! I am an anxious bitch! So we’re attempting a 5-2-1, in case gregg pulls an idol. But here’s my thing. EVERYONE is pushing Gregg. Lenny especially. I wouldn’t be surprised if: -Someone in my alliance is a liar and they’re sending either myself or Michele home with the help of Lenny, Tristan, Worm and Gregg (Eliza and Franco, ily, but y’all volunteered to vote for Lenny) - Lenny, Gregg, and two mysterious others are working together and by splitting our vote we are fucking one of our own home - Everyone pulls an idol and we all go to rocks!!! Because rocks love me!!!!! What can I say? I am anxious. It won’t be over until it’s over, and until then, imma keep taking my pepacid, thanks.

RAin

So! I know I just confessed, but I’m here again. I had a REALLY good conversation with Worm tonight! We’d been sort of playing notification tag and FINALLY we chatted and we actually connected. I’m super sus at everyone being like “owo I want us to move forward in this game together owo” but I’m not gonna complain until like, I actually get voted off. I don’t want to be seen as a threat. But I think I can hide behind Franco and Eliza for now- they will be early winners picks, I’m certain, but I bet they’ll be mid merge. People will see they’re threats from their social and challenge ability and it’s bye bye birdie!!! I’m thinking too much for round 2. But yeah. TL;DR - Worm and I are pals; I trust nobody; I will absolutely flip on my main allies.

Elle

I am not particularly interested in searching the other tribe's idol hunt because I do not want to draw suspicion towards me. But, there is probably nothing left for me in my tribe's idol hunt because someone has already found the idol probably. Who knows? Maybe I will find an extra vote or something.

lenny

if Gregg goes tonight, that is my doing. I think I've been playing a social game (maybe under the radar, maybe not). After the challenge yesterday, I immediately messaged most of the tribe and was like "is Gregg still playing? I didn't really see them contribute." Hopefully, this read as genuine to my tribemates. But, really, I knew the answer to my own question and was trying to set Gregg up as a target for tonight. From my understanding, most people are voting out him. Outside of this game, I really hope Gregg is doing okay because he has not been speaking or online much. Sending well wishes to him. Unfortunately, this is survivor and I came here to PLAY.

cranjes

kinda wanna be a snake and blindside van somehow bc no talk talk to alliance members means snuff snuff of the torch

Worm

So this round is a very interesting one because of the possibility of a looming swap is weighing on everyone's minds. For me, this possibility does streamline my decision making in this point of the game to make choices that will keep as many people on my side. Everyday this game goes on more and more people tell me that the want to work with me in this game. I might not be in any tight alliances yet but all I need is people wanting to work with me and give me information for me to navigate successfully through this game. Gregg being the vote this round does make me kind of sad. I feel like the two of us were growing closer but when someone isn't creating connections with anyone else then it makes it difficult for people to not vote for you in this point of the game. So my plan is just to bunker down and vote with the majority with the hope of a swap happening soon. What has me concerned is that Franco and Eliza want to split the vote and have the two of vote for Lenny. I know they are both are worried that Gregg has an idol and that has them freaking out. I think the only reason that I'm not worried about it is that I don't he would even throw a vote on me so I feel like I would be safe no matter what. I told Franco that he should do it and not tell Lenny with the idea that it is better to ask for forgive than it is for permission. I hope he does this so it stirs the pot up and creates some tension between them and keeps me out of the spot light. I,m just wish that there is a swap soon. I want more options in this game and feel as though I have the ability to maneuver through it better.

Tristin

https://youtu.be/9gGxirhL-dk

Rain

So I just had a good, long chat with Gregg. I’m not changing my vote, but I feel more connected to it now, and tbh I feel more certain that whoever he votes for won’t be me. Sorry to my allies - I told him he was getting votes tonight, if he has an idol we have a plan. If he doesn’t then at least someone told him and he doesn’t feel like nobody cared. I genuinely hope he does well on redemption - I think with the good rapport, we could work together if he does. I feel bad. But hopefully everything goes to plan.

Maxyne

Okay so, I'm a whole idiot and half. I feel like I'm lowkey falling apart and it all my fault. First of all, the idol hunt was a mess. Just as I predicted someone found the fucking idol and I was too late. I knew everyone was fucking lying when everyone was like "oh boo hoo I'm so bad at this" girl shut the fuck up. You're appropriating my culture of someone who is ACTUALLY a fuck-up. Everyone here is mad fake on this shit and I fuckin knew they would be. YES I KNOW IT'S AN ALIAS GAME THAT'S NOT THE POINT! The point is that once again I was stupid enough to have hope when I should've not even bothered after the second round. Someone always finds the idol within the first day and the hosts just watch my dumbass run around thinking I have a chance, i truly hate it here. Not to mention them nosy bitches on the other tribe lookin through our shit which I still don't know how they did so I'm probably never gonna figure it out and when I do it'll be too late. I'm legit upset like why am I such a flop??? Anyways... My tribe won immunity recently so there's no need to scramble this round. Although I feel like I still really need to work on my social game. Recently, I've sort of receded a bit in terms of interactions. I think it might be because of the fact that I'm in self isolation and I have no where to go. Also I'm generally kind of avoiding everything right now. idk why but I am and i hate it. I need to start shining again. Also the announcement about how we all should be online for the tribal... we're all speculating that it's a swap and that's what I'm expecting. But I think we might swap and have a one world scenario. It was in the rules that it might be a possibility and with people searching each other's tribes for idols, I think a one world swap might be expected at this point. Who knows, I might be wrong, I usually am about everything :/

maynor

Jay. Eliza is ellie. :p time for me to die.

cranjes

can someone beat frank k thanks

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sticky-situation444-blog · 7 years

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Amandeep

Well what to say about Aman? I remember when I first saw her, she was one of Bhavika and Seema's friend. They met her through Birtee who was on the same course as them and knew Amandeep from school. Now in school, Birtee and Aman knew of each other but weren't really friends. They got to know each other more in uni and that's understandable, given that you're in a new environment and it's nice to see a friendly face. Me and Aman have had our ups and downs but, I still don't know if I can fully trust her. Out of everyone in GDFR, I'm still pretty tight with her but, I don't know if it's more of just a surface thing or if I can tell her more or not. Birtee has advised me not to trust her, she's known Amandeep for longer and it's really a case of who she hangs out with and what she was influenced by in school. It was around January when I got to know Aman more, she would start coming out with us and we'd all go together as a bigger group. She got on well with Bhavika and I'm sure she did consider her as one of her best friends. Later on in the year, Aman, Bhavika, Rajiv and I use to hang out and chill I'm Bhav's room often - almost everyday night to be honest. Getting to know Aman was actually a nice thing, she seemed like the only one who really understood me and what I was like. We always had good banter together and had a lot of common interests - which is probably why I started to fancy her. Can you blame me though? We had the same friends, we have the same interests, we have the same banter and no one else in the group is more similar to me than Aman. After Ash and before Suruthi, I didn't know if I wanted to like Aman because it just seemed like she wasn't as interested. I tried to forget her but, it just didn't work. After getting with Suruthi, I don't know if I liked Aman or not. Maybe it was just a little school yard crush? Throughout summer, she distance herself from the rest of our group - Bhavika, Birtee, Rajiv and I. We all weren't super close in summer especially as Rajiv was going through a lot, Aman, Birtee and I have jobs and Bhavika was all the way up in Coventry. It also didn't help that Aman's mum was really ill and was admitted to hospital. At the time none of us really knew about it or what was going on. At the beginning of summer however, we all did try to make effort and keep in touch. We decided to meet in Birmingham as Bhavika would have trouble coming to London and Birtee couldn't come because of work. So Rajiv took the train as - I think - he wanted to go separately. However, I think that he was hoping to beat us there and get some time to talk to Bhavika while Aman and I drove up. It was a nice day, the four of us and I thought at that moment that I found my own little group within the group. The end of the day, I took Bhavika back to Coventry and Rajiv back to the station. Me and Aman went to Slough so I could drop her back but, we chilled for a bit and just talked for a while. I think that day was the first time Aman and I spent so much time together but, that also seemed to be the last time for summer. Towards the end Aman put a message I'm our little chat. Something along the lines of her being sorry for not really making and effort and whatnot. I didn't know what was going on but, I took it as a sign aswell thinking that I also haven't been making much effort and I justified it with work. Should I of done that? Probably not as that wasn't taking up so much time that I couldn't of even dropped a message. But it just got to a point that I started getting fed up with the people from uni and no one was really making and effort. When Aman snapchatted me about her mum, it was actually the first time she was really opening up to me and I felt like I could actually be there for her. I don't think she really likes to talk about it now, but at the time she really needed to get it off her chest as that was also when I found out what she wasn't saying much during summer. I don't fully blame her to be honest, something like that can really close a person off. I actually found out that she also resorted to alcohol and was getting drunk most the nights. When I first met Aman, she didn't even drink, not even on a night out. It's amazing how something as serious as that can change a person. As second year came, I was still close with our little group of five but, it seemed to of changed a lot between everyone else. Apparently when Birtee and Bhavika were asking Aman how she was doing over summer, she was really closed off with them and that's fine. What wasn't okay is that she use to tell random guys on Instagram about it to seek attention. Now I don't know if this was true or not but, if it was then I get why they were mad at Aman. I don't blame them, the fact that Aman was more comfortable telling others that she didn't know over her 'friends' is wrong. My memory is sort of sketchy here, I don't remember everything. I do remember some bits and pieces of it like when the accounting lot had an exam later on in the first term. They all must of been asking Rajiv for help as he's already done the exam, something that Tiyana and Aman said must of triggered Rajiv when he found out. Birtee was the one who told but, it was a misunderstanding anyway as it was taken out of context. However, when he found out, he was PISSED. He sent Tiyana and Aman a message saying something like "all I did was try to help and if you didn't appreciate it then that's fine. I know what you and Tiyana said about me and I don't think we can be friends". When Aman read it she was upset on another level, I've never seem Aman cry until that night. We were all at Press and as Aman got that text, she went straight up to Bhavika's room. I knew she wasn't okay so I went up with her and made sure she was okay, she just bursted out crying. All she wanted to know what who told Rajiv that and wanted to clear it out with him. It was all a misunderstanding and she didn't want to lose him as a friend. I think that was the moment Aman and I actually became good friends and were able to speak to each other more freely. However, what happened between Aman, Bhavika and Birtee just didn't seem to change. Bhavika and Birtee actually spoke to Aman about it and they said that they sorted it when in reality, it just seemed like they brushed it under the carpet. Around this time, Aman and Ash became pretty good friends as they both had the common interest of going out and became friends with the fresher's. Aman thought that she needed a new group of friends as she felt that GDFR was all against her and the people who she thought she was close with, all just snaked her. Ash was also having some issues with the group in terms of she wasn't that close with anyone and she felt left out of a lot of things. They always went out and seemed to enjoy their time with the freshers. I actually thought that the freshers were going to be their new friendship group. For Aman, looks like it worked out. Over the Christmas holidays when I use to go to work, I saw Amandeep there sometimes as she parked to go gym. Bhavika was the only one home but, there was always shitty excuses from her as to why she didn't respond to any of Aman's calls or not answering the door. Coming up to now, it looks like Aman has completely distanced herself from GDFR except for Raj and she says she's cool with everyone in the group. I don't know about Aishwarya as the freshers apparently don't like her because she used them to go out with and stay over. She didn't make an effort like Aman did. Do I trust Aman? I'd say yes but, that with me personally. I wouldn't trust her about tell her something about a problem with someone else in the group as she is sort of known for gossiping quite a bit..

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