#❏ 〔 RCSETORN 〕 : Half alive & haunted. “What’s left of me - a cavity - at least this space is mine.”

[knightfeared]

*Everyone sending ‘💋’ in my inbox gets a kiss from my muse. 📨 ➤   @rcsetorn  [ ; ] 💋 (Chris mebe?)

𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐀𝐘, 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍. Ending in the same way as it always did — a routine trip to the labs to deposit some recently gathered samples before he himself could finally rest. He still had report work of his own post debriefing to take care of, but he was exhausted, far too tired to want to bother with anything of the sort until he got some real shut eye. Being trapped in fight or flight mode, nothing but adrenaline & fear keeping you going for hours on end — it worked itself deep under your skin, made you restless, unable to focus when it stretched for far too long, & made way for fatigue to hit you like a train once it all finally began to wear off. A common enough routine he'd gotten used to doing over the months, days, nearing years that'd passed by this point.

Though there seems to be a difference this time around. What he doesn't expect is to find her Ronelle at her desk over up & active, slumped over in a way that does admittedly spark at his panic upon first glance. But he brushes it aside with a reassurance that the building was safe, secure. That there was likely a more normal, mundane & harmless reason for finding her like this.

It also helps he can note the time, knows with a certainty the odd hour definitely had a part to play. Ever the hard worker, rarely being seen away from her desk or the lab itself — Chris isn't even sure if there's a version of her in his memories that existed before they'd begun to work together in countering Bioterrorism. It's an all-consuming job, one that bleeds into all parts of your life, inking, tainting it like rot. Chris sighs.

There's worry that creeps up still, noting how eerily still she is, only smoothed back down again when he stares another few moments, catching the faint rise & fall of her shoulders as she snoozes in silence. While his own work kept him up, away from home & always moving, hers, while not much different, should have been more grounded. But here she was, still pushing herself to work hard, to try helping as much as she could in fixing things. With a conflicted expression, the soldier moves, keeping himself quiet as he shifts around the empty lab to put away the collected batch of recent B.O.W. samples away. They can tackle it later, it wasn't a pressing issue.

He makes his way back to the napping scientist's side, his eyes find their way back to the bit of her face he can spot from behind the cover of hair curtaining around the table, over her arms & face. Still nothin, not even a stir. Huffing, Chris mulls over his options, teetering between waking her up & leaving her be, or moving her to a more comfortable place to continue catching up on some more then well needed shut eye.

Eventually, Chris settles on attempting to wake her. It was common courtesy to try at least . . . If that didn't work, then he'd attempt to move her to one of the couches in the break area.

Sounded good enough in theory, up until he finds gently shaking, hushed calls of her name do little in the way of actually rousing her conscious for longer then a few grumbled moments before she promptly falls back asleep again. She stirs, head lolling to the side with a hummed mutter, before trying to flop back down again into the nest-like pillowing of her folded arms. The Operative stares for a moment, blinking slowly before he rolls his eyes, gently pulling the chair away from the desk, just enough he can pick the researcher up in his arms in resignation. It's not the best hold, but he's not carrying her for long. Shuffling over step by careful step, when he goes to lay her back down again, he can't help but snort out a laugh when she grabs at his forearm, the lax grip slipping down to his wrist with a visible pinched brow.

He'd gone through this same routine with Claire, as strange as it was to say. Though not since they were kids. But something about that old habit of being the one to move her, making sure she was safe — it's warming to know that though things had changed a great deal, not entirely for the better, they haven't all been bad. Some fragments remained stubbornly in place, enough that though he barely felt like himself most days since deciding to continue on down this hopeless feeling career path — he didn't regret it as much. It was a flicker, a flash in the pan, but the hope it inspired made him smile softly.

Gently, Chris goes to uncurl tightly pressed fingers from where they'd begun to dig into his skin, careful, with little force, he manages to eventually release his hand. But her fingers still try to wrap around his, bearing a bit of a chill to them, he holds it in his hand a moment longer, furrow browed stare angling towards the frigid digits before glancing up to study Bea's features, noting the way they pinched in some brief irritation, easing back into something more comfortable as the woman inches onto her side with a drawn out exhale.

Shaking his head with some allowed fondness, Chris lifts her hand in amusement, hesitating in caution, before he pushes himself to just act — the press of his lips to the freshly warmed curve of her deceptively dainty knuckles sparks a warmth in his chest, one carefully cradled before being waned down to something less bright as he places her hand back down, stepping off & away back towards her desk.

An old habit, one he happily indulges in as he carefully moves to tidy her working space, clearing away the abandoned, hours old tea, half-drunk & long cold to the sink, taking a moment to jot down a small message on one of Beatrix's spare post-it's. Nothing long, nothing fancy, but gently teasing, something he hopes will brighten her morning when she does wake again. A final search of the space for a spare sleeping blanket or cover of sorts is successful. Covering her with it, doing a final sweep of the barren lab, he passes a final glance in her direction before he moves to exit back into the main hall.

He'd bother her about work related bullshit another time.

#╰┈➤ ┊❛ ANSWERED IC. ❜┊ #╰┈➤ ┊❛ INTERACTIONS. ❜┊ #RCSETORN. / BEATRIX RONELLE. #MUSE: [ CHRIS REDFIELD. ] #❝ Half alive & haunted. “What’s left of me - a cavity - at least this space is mine”. ❞ . [ RCSETORN ]

[grieverled-moved]

DYNAMIC TAG DUMP.

#TAG DUMP #❏ 〔 MYRISTICISMS 〕 : Now take off your halo & look to the sky. #❏ 〔 VISIONARYANARCHIST 〕 : Tear down hollows & take back eternity. Puppets learn to pull strings & cut down the user's lead. #❏ 〔 BURNTCHILD 〕 : Memories penned in blood & drawn with fire. Ash & bone turned to sand. #❏ 〔 DEFIANTEXSOLDIERS 〕 : Got a long way to go & a long memory. Been searching for an answer always just so out of reach. #❏ 〔 RCSETORN 〕 : Half alive & haunted. “What’s left of me - a cavity - at least this space is mine.” #❏ 〔 BLITZHEART 〕 : & it's them that you’ve come for. Two hands guarding your heart. You’ve never come this far.

[knightfeared]

Mutual Tags Drop.

#❝ How long has it been since we counted all the stars & reached out from the dark? ❞ . [ DCYSEEKER ] #❝ Memories penned in blood & fire. Ash & bone turned to sand. ❞ . [ REVEROMANTIQUE ] #Braced for the sunrise. Will you meet me where we both fell? [ ; ] SQUALL / SEIFER ➤〔 REVEROMANTIQUE 〕 #❝ A long way to go & a long memory. Been searching for an answer always just so out of reach. ❞ . [ DEFIANTEXSOLDIERS ] #Love in my arms & the sun in my eyes. You carry my fears as the heavens set fire. [ ; ] SQUALL / CLOUD ➤〔 DEFIANTEXSOLDIERS 〕 #❝ The future comes ; the past is gone. I see you straining through my fingertips - you’ve changed. ❞ . [ BLOODBONDCD ] #❝ Half alive & haunted. “What’s left of me - a cavity - at least this space is mine”. ❞ . [ RCSETORN ] #❝ We fight every night for something. When the sun sets - we're both the same. ❞ . [ SLAUGHTEM ] #You barely cried but you made it out alive & I'm so proud that you're in my hands now. [ ; ] CHRIS / LEON ➤〔 SLAUGHTEM 〕

[knightfeared]

Deciding to travel with Squall's group, she smiles as their friends harass him before sprinting ahead. "I'm not sure what you did that merited such a sociable party. But I'm unsure if I would react much different," she consoled.

𝐒𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐓 𝐀 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐎𝐎 𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄, 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐖𝐋 𝐈𝐒 𝐌𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. Too bad the novelty of it wore off long ago. Having been around him for far longer then he’d have liked, it was only natural they’d grown used to his distant, irritation spurred attempts to keep everyone at arms length as they continued on with their mission. It did little good, the others in their party quickly discovering that his cold & abrasive exterior hid away a more sympathetic if smothered interior. A glacial mask more then anything.

All he can do is grumble with a roll of his eyes as his companions babble on about anything & everything, determined to make small talk to avoid the jittering nerves that flared the closer the got to their target.

As they move to leave him thankfully alone for the time being, he sighs in relief, a tired snort following when he hears the other sword fighter speak. In a tone that’s hard to tell whether it’s joking or serious, he glances over to meet her amused sight.

❝ Got stuck with them by contract. Garden’s orders. They’ve been my headaches ever since. ❞ Though he’s honest, blunt in his response, there is an undeniable bit of fondness that peeks, revealing itself through the stray dimple etched into his cheek, along with the softening of his harshened edges. ❝ Honestly? Who knows. I’m only a little tempted to swap places with you one of these missions to see how you manage. ❞

*UNPROMPTED. 📨 ➤   @rcsetorn  [ ; ] Ty for the ask ahaha 💕

#╰┈➤ ┊❛ ANSWERED IC. ❜┊ #╰┈➤ ┊❛ INTERACTIONS. ❜┊ #rcsetorn #MUSE: [ SQUALL LEONHART. ] #❝ Half alive & haunted. “What’s left of me - a cavity - at least this space is mine”. ❞ . [ RCSETORN ]

[grieverled-moved]

                                ➤ @rcsetorn : ♫

I.             𝐆𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐘 & 𝐆𝐎𝐑𝐄 [ ; ] 𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐄. Delicate in every way but one — the swordplay \ God knows we like archaic kinds of fun — the old ways \ Chance is the only game I play with \ We let out battles choose us . . .

II.             𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐀𝐆𝐄 [ ; ] 𝐌𝐆𝐌𝐓. Breathing in the dark,  lying on its side   \   The ruins of the day painted with a scar   \   & the more I straighten out,  the less it wants to try   \   The feelings start to rot,  one wink at a time   \   Forgiving who you are,  for what you stand to gain   \   Just know that if you hide,  it doesn't go away   \   When you get out of bed,  don't end up stranded   \   Horrified with each stone on the stage,  my little dark age

III.            𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐂𝐋𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐃 [ ; ] 𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐘. All your lovers,  no they're not your friends   \   Learned the hard way fast that every time you give someone your trust they throw it back   \   Another Sunday waking on the ground   \   Signal breaking down   \   'Cause every time you said they loved you   \   Left & took it back

Got you covered like a body suit made of lead & doubt   \   But you're still wondering why you feel too heavy to go out   \   People calling in a state for you   \   Think they love too loud & so you push them all away   \   But it's too damn quiet now

IV.           𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃 [ ; ] 𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓. Driving off the deep end   \   We swallowed up all of our grief & it's killing us gently   \   Drowning in the feeling   \   Why can't we give up the ghost that is haunting our memories?

V.             𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐄 ( 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐔𝐃𝐄 ) [ ; ] 𝐍𝐎𝐇𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐀.

#╰┈➤ OOC RAMBLES. ( … ) SOL SCREECHES. #╰┈➤ RADIO TUNES. / MUSE SONGS. #RCSETORN #❏ 〔 RCSETORN 〕 : Half alive & haunted. “What’s left of me - a cavity - at least this space is mine.” #( … ) // -gently nudges your way- 💕

[grieverled-moved]

always remembering can be as dangerous as always forgetting

Now that was where things differed between them. Between the views they held. Just another thing to butt heads on, he sighs, but with the similarities that do stand between the pair, he knows it runs deeper than that for the woman. In a way, he can relate.

Even now, there were still times he wanted for nothing more than to forget it all, to leave it be & move on in blissful ignorance. But . . . it wouldn't be right. He'd come to that harsh realization long ago, though he knows better than anyone it's far from happy to accept. Some memories were important, the painful ones that hurt to reminisce back on especially, but in the very same vein, that was what made them all the more important not to forget.

For him . . . though he wishes he could forget the fear of falling to darkness, the helplessness that came tethered so close to it, it was also what spurred him to fight as hard as he did in the present. To avoid having to experience that again, to let anyone else experience that very same feeling. It was what drove him, inspired him to be better than to simply let those same memories crush & weigh him down.

With a shrug of his shoulder, he notes how it's strange for her to be out this close to town, how she normally kept far from the busy inner parts of it out of some distrust for Cid's defense system & the other committee members that roamed. They still treated her with an understandable amount of skeptical suspicion, not yet sure what to make of her motives. But in the short time he'd come to know her, though there was a lot still that left her shrouded in mystery, unknown in a way he should be joining the others in their staunch distrust in - he can't.

"Funny. I'd say the same about forgetting." He hums with a light glance over to the ivory-clad swordswoman. "Something's are too important to forget. You lose those memories, no matter how bad they were, you lose a part of yourself too."

Leaning back against the stone ledge of the Bailey, the chill it offers makes his skin prickle. But he continues, determined to try seeing if he could garner anymore info about the strange Nobody - see how chatty she'd felt & if she'd dare to share anything from her enigmatic past. Like a puzzle missing a bunch of it's pieces, he wanted to find something to connect to what he had already, try to make more sense of her motives.

"You sound like you've got some experience in that department. Remembering things you'd rather not."

                              ➤ @rcsetorn

#╰┈➤ IN CHARACTER. #RCSETORN #❏ 〔 RCSETORN 〕 : Half alive & haunted. “What’s left of me - a cavity - at least this space is mine.” #➤ 𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒. ◆ KINGDOM HEARTS VERSE