#ℬ ─ ׁ 𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 ♡ ׁ ⫬ ⫬ ﹙ writings ﹚

[ino3zi]

﹐ ☓ TITLE. A CONFESSION

﹐ ☓ TRIGGER WARNINGS. Beckett finally confessions his feelings!

﹐ ☓ CHARACTERS. Andi Kan

﹐ ☓ SETTING. December 22’

﹐ ☓ W/C. 1.4K

﹐ ☓ note. this was supposed to come out months ago, but here it finally is, so enjoy! 

It was finally time for Beckett to man up. It had been a whole three months since he got into this whole ordeal with the older male. Three months too long if you ask anyone else. Three months without confessing his feelings for the older male which he had known around the second month and decided to just wait. But Beckett was finally manning up and confessing his feelings. His feelings should've been expressed a long time ago now that he thinks of it.

But Beckett had his reasons for not expressing them. He just wasn't ready. But now he was. He was ready to finally make Andi his boyfriend. Beckett paced the confines of his bedroom as the girl on the other side of the phone watched with a bored expression. Noémie groaned getting her brother’s attention. “One thing I don’t understand is why you always come to me for this type of stuff when I’m only 12. Don't you have any friends?” Noémie jeered at the boy who pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. “I mean why do you need my help anyway? Don’t you have everything planned out? And if this is about an outfit, then I’m hanging up. Because you’re just staying inside anyway so put on pajamas for all I care.” She exclaimed before yawning as Beckett rolled his eyes but still contemplated what she had said.

In all honesty, Beckett knew that she was right, but didn’t say anything. As earlier in the morning when Andi decided to take Beckett out and treat him for breakfast. He had told him that he just wanted a nice night in with him and that was it. Something Beckett liked, but then grew frustrated over because in his mind he needed it to be perfect. Though Beckett didn't know why he was stressing over everything needing to be perfect when Andi would love it anyway. Beckett sighed going to thank Noémie when he noticed the girl was asleep. Jetlag must've messed her up. He chuckled before hanging up to let her rest. Now it was just Beckett and his thoughts.

He had a few more hours until Andi came over to spend New Year's Eve with him. He thought maybe he should clean up but then again, he remembered that he had stressed cleaned the whole apartment earlier. But then again he had to worry about Ben and October messing it up with their toys. The dogs weren't doing much now but he knew soon enough they would be. The two dogs in question occupying Ben’s bed in the corner, even though the bed itself was too small for the both of them. They both sleep lazily undisturbed by their owner, who was stressing himself out.  

Beckett took a seat on the couch with his head in his hands. It was just supposed to be a simple date. But it was stressing him out. Beckett didn’t know what to do. He laid on the couch, staring up at the ceiling above him. The apartment was quiet since both dogs are asleep, and there was nobody there except for him. He let his mind wander. Wonder so far that eventually he drifted off to sleep. He awoke hours later to find that it was dark outside. The dogs were no longer there and they were groceries on the counter. sometimes he was glad that he had his mom around and also that he gave her a key.

He stood from the couch, stretching his tired body, and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He didn’t know how much time has passed as he went to put the groceries up. He stared mindlessly at the contents of the fridge before at the clock on the wall. The time reading 8:34 PM which meant Andi would be coming over soon. Beckett sighed closing the fridge grabbing his phone to order something for him to eat. He ended up choosing Dak-bokkeum-tang for delivery which would most likely be delivered after Andi arrived.

Slowly, his stress and nervousness started to come back. He just wanted Andi to show up already. He wanted him to show up so he can reassure him that this evening was going to be perfect. Perfect for both him and himself. Beckett didn’t know how long he had been pacing the living room of his apartment for when someone had knocked on the door. On the other side of the door stood Andi who was wrapped in a bundle of clothes since the weather had seemingly gotten colder over night. His face lit up when Beckett opened the door. Andi pulled the taller boy into his embrace making Beckett sigh.

“Thank god you’re here.” Beckett breathed as Andi chuckled running his hands through the boys hair. Something that made Beckett relax under his touch. Beckett pulled away from the hug finally letting Andi into the apartment as he closed and locked the door behind him. Andi placed bags of groceries on the counter which Beckett frowned at because he hadn’t noticed them earlier. “I told you not to get anything.” Beckett whined as Andi shook his head. “It’s just snacks Beckett. Stop whining.” Andi teased using his hyung voice as Beckett narrowed his eyes at the older. With each item Andi pulled out of the bag Beckett’s stomach growled.

He hadn’t realized he was hungry until Andi pulled out food. “Food is on the way. You can wait.” He thought to himself as he noticed one item Andi had pulled out the bag. Makgeolli. Korean Rice Wine. Something Beckett has been obsessed with lately. “You got Makgeolli?” He questioned grabbing the bottle as Andi nodded before looking at him. “I figured you would want some. Is that alright?” Andi questioned as Beckett nodded making him smile. Beckett went to place the bottle in the fridge as Andi placed all the snacks in the living room so they could start their movie night before Midnight struck.

Andi was quick to pull Beckett by his side before he could sit on the other side of couch. Beckett shook his head before throwing a cover their laps as Andi began to pick a movie for them to watch. He ended up picking The Witch: Part 1 - The Subversion. Though about 30 minutes into watching the movie Beckett had fallen back to sleep as he rested his head on Andi’s shoulder. Andi massaged the boy’s head as he continued to watch the movie.

The movie played in the background as Andi glanced down at Beckett, who had fallen asleep on his shoulder. He couldn't help but smile at the peaceful expression on Beckett's face. Andi gently adjusted his position, making sure Beckett was comfortable before focusing back on the movie.

As the movie reached its climax, Andi's mind began to wander, contemplating the events of the evening. He had noticed Beckett's nervousness earlier, even though he tried his best to hide it. Andi had a feeling something important was on Beckett's mind, but he didn't want to push him. He wanted Beckett to open up when he was ready.

Andi's thoughts drifted to the past few months they had spent together. He had developed strong feelings for Beckett, and he hoped that Beckett felt the same way. They had grown closer, spending more time together, and Andi cherished every moment they shared. He remembered the first time they met, how Beckett's smile had captured his attention and sparked a sense of curiosity. Andi was drawn to Beckett's kind heart, his passion for the things he loved, and the way he made Andi feel at ease. They had become good friends, but Andi wanted something more.

Lost in his thoughts, Andi barely noticed the movie ending. He gently nudged Beckett, trying to wake him up. "Hey, Beckett, the movie's over. You fell asleep," he whispered softly. Beckett stirred and blinked sleepily, gradually realizing that the movie had indeed finished. He sat up straight, rubbing his eyes and yawning. "Sorry, I must have dozed off," he said, sounding slightly embarrassed.

Andi smiled reassuringly. "It's alright. You looked peaceful. Did you sleep well?" Beckett nodded, his gaze shifting slightly. "Yeah, I guess I needed the rest." Andi's curiosity got the better of him, and he decided to take a leap of faith. "Is everything okay, Beckett? You seemed a bit nervous earlier. If there's something on your mind, you can talk to me about it."

Beckett looked at Andi, his eyes filled with a mix of apprehension and hope. He took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts. This was the moment he had been waiting for, and he couldn't let fear hold him back any longer. "I... Andi, there's something I need to tell you," Beckett began, his voice filled with determination. "I've been keeping it to myself for far too long, but I can't hide my feelings anymore. The truth is, I have deep feelings for you, and I've had them for a while now."

Andi's eyes widened, surprise and delight washing over his face. He reached out to hold Beckett's hand, offering him comfort and support. "Beckett, you have no idea how happy that makes me. I've been feeling the same way, but I didn't want to rush you or make you feel pressured. I care about you so much, and I want to be more than just friends." Beckett's face broke into a wide smile, relief flooding his features. The weight that had burdened him for months suddenly lifted, replaced by warmth and joy. He squeezed Andi's hand, unable to contain his happiness.

"I'm so glad you feel the same way, Andi. I was scared of ruining our friendship, but I couldn't ignore my feelings anymore. You mean the world to me, and I want us to be more than just friends too." Andi leaned in closer, their eyes locked with an intensity that spoke volumes. Slowly, he closed the distance between them, his lips meeting Beckett's in a soft, tender kiss. It was a moment filled with hope, passion, and the beginning of something beautiful.

As they pulled away, their foreheads resting against each other, Beckett couldn't help but laugh. "I can't believe I stressed so much about tonight when the perfect ending was right here all along." Andi chuckled, brushing his thumb gently across Beckett's cheek. "Sometimes, the best moments come when we least expect them. And tonight has turned into something more beautiful than I ever imagined."

With their feelings finally confessed and their hearts aligned, Beckett and Andi spent the rest of the evening wrapped in each other's embrace, cherishing their newfound love and the promise of a future together.

#ℬ ─ ׁ 𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 ♡ ׁ ⫬ ⫬ ﹙ writings ﹚ #fictional idol community #fictional idol company #fictional idol oc #fictional idol soloist

[ino3zi]

﹐ ☓ TITLE. BACK IN KOREA

﹐ ☓ TRIGGER WARNINGS. Beckett surprises his friends with his return to Korea.

 ﹐ ☓ CHARACTERS. Madison ‘Madi’ Byun & Romeo Yoo! sorry it seems rushed!!

﹐ ☓ SETTING. November 22’

﹐ ☓ W/C. 1.4K

﹐ ☓ korean is bold while english is regular!

Beckett had nearly spent two weeks in Canada. But now he was back in Korea. But it wasn’t his choice to come back. It had been a few days after his father had gotten out of the hospital that his parents had bought him a airplane ticket back to Korea, which he didn’t know about until the day of. Though he didn’t wanna leave his family at all he knew that it was a sign that they would be all right without him.

Though he didn’t quite believe it at all. Nonetheless, he was back in Korea. He smiled as he spotted his Manager standing there with a sign that read his name. Which he jokingly laughed at.  Beckett hadn’t been in much contact with his manager ever since he had left Korea. And now that he was back, it felt good to see the older man who had patted Beckett on the back and escorted him to the car.

Beckett was kind of upset not to see any Euphony at the airport, but he realized that it was still quite early in the morning. He would just have to see them or talk to them later on Vlive. But he knew that would be hours from now, so he was just enjoying the time he was spending with his manager outside of him promoting music.

His manager took him to get breakfast from a local café that was close to the airport before taking him home. Beckett sighed in relief as he flopped down onto the comfy couch. Though, his apartment was quite quiet without the pattering feet of Ben and October. He missed his sons. But he just knew that he would have to go pick them up later from his Eomma‘s house. 

There wouldn’t be much he could do before he eventually went to go get them. Maybe he could take a nap? Or maybe not because a nap really wasn’t what she needed. Maybe he could hang out with his friends? But he really didn’t know their schedule, especially since he had been gone for two weeks. And especially since he hadn’t called and told them that he was back in Korea. But he did promised them dinner when he got back so maybe he could take them out later after he told them he was back in Korea.

But then he thought of hanging out with his boyfriend. But then again, he was probably still promoting. Beckett’s face flushed pink as he realized what word he labeled the male as. His boyfriend. Beckett could barely say the word without becoming flustered. But somehow he managed to call him that without even doing so but now look at him.

But he knew that he should keep it to himself, especially since he knew if he told him that he had called him his boyfriend, then it would be nothing but teasing from the older. Teasing that Beckett surely was going to get either way. But he sighed looking around the surprisingly clean apartment. He had a few hours to himself before either his Eomma dropped off his sons, or he called up his friends to hang out.

But there wasn’t much he could do besides stream a K-drama or watch movies and cook himself something to eat. That’s basically how his morning went until early afternoon up until his mom dropped off Ben and October. The small dogs jumped on him excitedly as they were happy to see him. He smiled laughing at the dogs that licked his face happily. He missed them and didn’t like being away from them.

Ben didn't do much besides lick him, as if saying, welcome back before going to explore the apartment he hadn’t seen in two weeks while October stayed and licked Beckett’s face happily. The once small puppy had gotten bigger ever since Beckett last saw him. He was only two months, but still quite big for his age, especially since Beckett tended to feed him a lot. Beckett picked up the small dog who wiggled happily in his arms before looking over at his Eomma.

“I take it that everything is ok?” She questioned as Beckett nodded. That was something he made sure of before he left. And he had recruited Noémie to make sure everything was OK and all right even when he wasn’t there, which the girl had promised that she would tell him if everything wasn’t. Now he could only rely on her to keep her promise. 

“As good as it can be. I’m just worried that everything won’t be as good as they make it out to be when I’m not there. But all I can hope for is that it is.” Though the words that come out of his mouth, he didn’t believe any of it. As much as he wanted to roll his eyes, he knew he shouldn’t because his Eomma would know that he was lying. “You just have to think positively sweetie. I get that it is difficult being away from them but all you can do is think positively until you see them again.”

Her words were reassuring as Beckett sighed but smiled toward the older woman. At times he felt lucky to have 2 such great moms. And he hated that he was going to ask her this, especially when she just dropped off his sons to him only for him to up and leave again. “Eomma I know you just came to drop them off and everything but could you watch them for an hour or so? I get it if you don’t want-”

“Sweetie. It’s all right. Go ahead and have fun with your friends because I know they missed you. I’ll be here when you get back OK.” His Eomma spoke taking the puppy from his arms as he smiled grabbing his keys and waving goodbye to her and the small dog. He also told Ben goodbye who didn't pay him any attention. Though he hadn’t told either Romeo or Madison that he was back in Korea.

He knew that they would be surprised because all he would do was pop up at their dorms and take them out for dinner because he missed them generally and wanted to treat them to a nice dinner, to thank them for being his friends and for not being mad at him, hopefully. His phone rang as he called Romeo. The sound of his voice echoed over the call.

“Beckett? Shouldn’t it be nighttime there? Why are you calling me so late?” Romeo questioned as Beckett chuckled. “That’s a question I should answer face-to-face. So why don’t you get dressed and come on so we can pick up Madison.” His response was met with silence from the other line. Which he probably knew was either Romeo, getting dressed, or looking at his phone in confusion. And from the answer he got from the other line, he knew had to be option B. “Wait you’re back in Korea? Since when?” Beckett knew he should've told at least Romeo earlier.

“Since earlier today. But I’ll answer all your questions when you get in the car so hurry up.” He ended the call before Romeo could ask any more questions. Beckett smiled as the younger boy came into view and took a seat in the passenger seat. “Before you ask any questions. Yes I should’ve told you earlier but where is the fun in that. Also, it wasn’t my choice to come back to Korea because I was put on the plane because my parents didn’t want me there anymore. There I answered your questions so let’s go pick up Madison.” Beckett answered before starting the drive to pick up the one and only Madi.

Somehow Beckett knew that Madison‘s reaction would be completely different than Romeo's. Somehow he knew that she would scold him. And so he expected it as soon as he told her the news over the phone. “You’re back in Korea?! You didn’t bother telling either of us? But that is something you would do.” Madison spoke as Beckett narrowed his eyes at the phone. “Well to make up for me not telling you guys I’m taking you out for dinner. That’s something that I would truly do. So if you want to eat dinner, then you better come on because I will pull off.” Beckett replied as he heard shuffling on the other end of the line before he heard her accent come through the phone. “Yeah, you would do something like that. But then you would give the receipt to one of us. I’m starting to question our friendship, Beckett.” Beckett rolled his eyes. She was making it hard for him not to pull.

“Yeah, and I’m starting to ease off the brake.” Though in all honesty, he wasn’t going to pull off on her as both, he and Romeo waited for her. And just like that, the Three Stooges were back together. Ready to conquer the world, or to be precise a good dinner. Though Beckett and Madison did argue over what place to go to for dinner. Romeo was the levelheaded one of them who had the deciding vote. The deciding vote ended up being a dumpling restaurant, which Beckett was okay with.

The three of them piled into a corner booth as they waited for someone to take their order, but knowing them there was anything but silence. “So you're telling me your parents bought you a ticket just so you could fly back to Korea because they wanted you to stop worrying about them because everything was fine?” The pair questioned as Beckett nodded taking a piece of kimchi. Though hearing it come from his friend's mouth, it sounded quite funny. “All because I was worried.” He replied as there was complete silence before they all started laughing. Something Beckett felt glad to be doing because it felt like forever since he last laughed. “That just means you have to not worry as much,” Romeo spoke as Beckett shrugged but nodded anyway. The topic was getting depressing to Beckett as he sat up straight with a smile on his face.

“Enough about me. I want to hear about you two and what you guys were up to during my break in Canada.” Beckett spoke looking at the pair who looked at each before at Beckett. “Nothing interesting happened to you guys? Nothing at all?” Beckett questioned as no one said anything. “Well I’ll start by saying I missed you guys,” Beckett spoke as the two cooed at him as rolled his eyes. Of course, they would tease him. “If only we could say the same-ouch.” Madison started but got nudged by Romeo. “We missed you too Beckett,” Romeo spoke as Madison rolled her eyes but agreed. Beckett smiled at the two as their waiter finally arrived to take their order.

The trio ate and conversed amongst themselves. Something Beckett was glad they were getting to do especially since they hadn’t hung out in a while since most of their schedules were usually busy. Being with his two friends, brought the boy joy and less stress. He just hoped they could do it again soon. He was just glad that he was surrounded by his friends. All he could say that it was good to be back in Korea. 

#fictional idol community #fictional idol company #fictional idol oc #fictional idol soloist #ℬ ─ ׁ 𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 ♡ ׁ ⫬ ⫬ ﹙ writings ﹚

[ino3zi]

﹐ ☓ TITLE. BUT WORRY

﹐ ☓ TRIGGER WARNINGS. Everything seems to worry Beckett nowadays

﹐ ☓ SETTING. November 22’

﹐ ☓ W/C. 1.7K

Beckett had never been a person to worry. There was not much in his life that made him worried or anxious, except for new things in his life. Like a new career, a new place, and new people. But that’s all that made him anxious or nervous. Well until his mom came calling him. She was frantic. Something that made him grow a little bit worried. He always seem to worry when it came to his family especially since he couldn’t do anything but sit there and listen to them. He was oceans away from them, so what could he do? 

When she had called, it had surprised him. Especially since he had just gotten off the stage from promoting his song. What worried him the most was the fact that he knew that it had to be quite late in Canada since it was the afternoon in Korea. But the scariest part of it all was the fact that she was crying. Never had he heard his mother crying the way that she was. From the way, he heard the tremble in her voice and the way she spoke it was too much for him. But the moment she had spoken the words that he was hoping not to hear was the moment he knew he had to travel back home. ‘Y-your father was rushed to the hospital.’

For him, the words were like a punch to the gut. Everything seemed to go in slow motion as his mind, tried to comprehend the words that had fallen out of his mom’s mouth. Or maybe he was trying to not think that it was true. Because how could his father be in the hospital? His father was healthy and strong, so how could he be in the hospital? What could’ve happened that put him there? Was he sick, did something happen to him? That was all that was on his mind. but it wasn’t real, was it? It wasn’t. The words repeated over and over and his head even as he packed, got on the airplane, and through the entire 12-hour flight. But as soon as he stepped off of the airplane and was greeted by his mother and sister he knew it was all true. By the way, his mother was holding back tears and Noémie looked so nonchalantly that he knew it couldn't be fake.

So it was true. His dad was in the hospital for a reason he did not know. His dad was in the hospital, but yet he hadn’t gone to visit him. It had been three days since he returned to Canada and yet he hadn't gone to visit his dad once. He felt like a bad son for not going to visit his dad but he was worried about what he might see. He didn’t know how badly his dad was hurting. He didn’t want to see his dad in pain. But he knew that his dad would want to see him especially since he hadn’t seen him in months. But he knew that he would have to go sooner or later. He guessed today would be that day. The car was quiet. He wasn’t going to say anything but neither was his mom or sister. It was tense, especially from his sister who hadn’t spoken nor cried, ever since he arrived. And he knew that she hadn’t cried even before he got there.

He knew that it would be a matter of time before her feelings came to the surface. He knew he would just have to be there for her when she did explode. The hospital was a buzz as he and his family entered. The nurse was as cheery as ever wearing one of her infamous smiles, which Beckett knew was fake because she had probably been working hours, but she still smiled which is something Beckett wished he could do. The hospital was gloomy and smelled sterile. Just like it always was. The hospital had always been a place Beckett never liked to visit and even now it felt the same as it did when he was a child. It felt creepy and unwelcoming. The halls were plain and gloomy. There was nothing good about the hospital and he wondered if his dad felt the same way. 

Speaking of his dad, they have come to a stop in front of one of the many rooms in the hospital. Room 1309 his father’s room as the obvious whiteboard read with his name upon it. Entering the room was no different than being out in the hallway. It all felt the same. Unwelcoming and cold but that all seemed to get thrown out the window as his father sat up in his hospital bed with the biggest smile on his face. One Beckett hadn't seen in months. The one he would show when he was happy to see his family altogether. He may have been smiling but Beckett knew there had to be some pain in his body. Beckett sighed looking at his dad whose smile faded some from the look his son gave him.

Beckett knew his father was a little bit hurt by what he had given him. But he couldn’t blame him. Especially since he didn’t tell either him or Noémie what was wrong with him. It was like his mom could tell that it was a bit tense between father and son as she excused herself, and Noémie so the two could talk. ‘Why didn’t you tell me earlier?! What if I found out too late about this?! What if by the time I got here you were already gone?! What about my feelings dad?! Or what about that little girl standing out in the hallways feelings?! What about us that?!’ Beckett questioned fist bawled and tears threatening to spill. If there had been a point in that Beckett’s life when he knew he would cry, then this would be that moment. Beckett hated crying, but it was a normal thing to do especially when he was angry or upset. It just happened. 

‘Beckett. How was I supposed to tell you when all I could think about was keeping you guys from finding out? How was I supposed to know that it was going to get this bad Beckett? It’s not like I wanted it to happen.’ His dad spoke as Beckett looked at him tears starting to fall.  all he could think about was keeping it from them. So that means he wasn’t going to sell them at all. He wasn’t going to tell his kids anything about his health probably until he was gone. Gone away from them. Leaving them clueless as to how their dad just opened. Left them with no reason. Beckett hated the words. “And you think that leaving us clueless without a hint of what’s going on with you, will bring us some satisfaction! You think, not telling us until it killed you was going to stop us from hurting?! Did you dad? Did you?!

“Did mom even know? Because if she didn’t, then you would’ve cost us more hurt. Especially if what is going on with you killed you. Because not only leaving us your children clueless but also your wife is what is going to hurt us the most.” his words lingered in the air. His father hadn’t said anything and neither did he. Of course, Beckett was upset especially since he had lied to him all these months or years. He didn’t know how long this was going on. It was upsetting really. After some time his father finally spoken.

“As much as I want to say I’m sorry for lying to you Beckett. I can’t. This. Whatever is going on with me I didn’t know until a few months ago. And I get that you’re upset with me for me not bothering to tell you or that I was never going to tell you. But can you blame me because I just want you guys to live a non-stressful life and not have to worry about me? I get that I upset both you and your sister. But it would only bring me distress if I had told you guys because all you would do is worry about me, which is something I wouldn’t want you to do. you guys are both young and should live your life to the fullest. Worrying about me would bring nothing but pain. So yell at me, and be mad at me all you want but I’m not sorry for not telling you. But I hope that both you and your sister can forgive me.”

His father’s words were harsh, but somewhere deep down, inside Beckett, he knew that his father was telling the truth. He didn’t want Beckett nor his sister to worry about him and just wanted his kids to live their lives to the fullest. But worrying about him and their mother would always be something, Beckett and Noémie would do. Knowing that they were OK and doing well was always something that brought the Noé children comfort. But hearing his father say that he didn’t want them to worry about him was upsetting, but also comforting.

But Beckett knew that he would still worry about his father, no matter what he had told him. “You don’t get to decide whether or not we worry about you. You are our father for a reason. You took care of us and showed us love and in return, we show you love back and worry about you because that’s what we’re supposed to do. And in the future, we will take care of you just like how you did us when we were little because that’s what we’re supposed to do. So you telling me not to worry about you is just going to make me even more worried about you. And I hope that’s something you know.” Beckett spoke as his father sighed nodding but smiling nonetheless.

Beckett wrapped his arms around his father hugging the older man. Beckett could feel his dad breathe easier in the comfort of his warmth. The tears fell softer this time. Realizing that his dad was OK but just as stubborn as he always was is what made Beckett breathe easier and feel less worried. Knowing that his dad would be all right was what made him happy. But Beckett knew he would still worry for the older man because when it came to his family and those closest to him, he couldn’t help but worry.

#fictional idol community #fictional idol company #fictional idol oc #fictional idol soloist #ℬ ─ ׁ 𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 ♡ ׁ ⫬ ⫬ ﹙ writings ﹚

[ino3zi]

1:34 AM ー VANCOUVER, CANDA.

It has been hours since he had ended the V-live. Talking to his fans about the situation, and why he had to leave. At times he was grateful for them being so considerate and loving.

But now all he had to do was call him. Of course he had to call him. He hadn’t been able to contact him ever since a few days ago. Everything seemed to be in such chaos that he hadn’t had any time to call him.

Beckett couldn’t help but wonder if now would be a good time to call him mainly because he had no idea what time it was in Korea. He just hoped it was the right time. 

ring ring ring !

“Hello?” His deep australian accent spoke. Though he couldn't see his face he knew all too well that he was smiling. Smiling that smile he loved seeing not that he would tell him that.

‘Hyung?’ Beckett questioned only to hear a soft gasp from the other side of the phone. ‘Beckett-ah are you calling because you missed me?” He teased as Beckett could feel his cheeks grow hot.

“Hyung of course I did.” Beckett admitted as he sighed happily to hear those words come out of his mouth. “Beckett missed me. I missed you too bubs.” The use of his nickname had him blushing yet again.

“When will you be home?’ He asked as Beckett stretched sitting up in his bed. even if he didn’t want to answer the older males question honestly, I couldn’t. He didn’t know when he would be back. Probably in a few days or probably in a few weeks. It all depends on if his family would be OK without him.

Even though his parents had told him everything would be fine and that he could leave yesterday. He still stayed to make sure everything was OK as they said. Maybe it was him just being overly concerned. But who couldn't be when one of your parents ended up in the hospital for a reason you don’t know anything about?

He sighed. ”Probably in a week or so. I really don’t know. But I promise when I get back, I will take you out on a date. Mainly because you’ve been planning all of them.” Beckett help but chuckle as the male on the other line coughed and was probably blushing at the fact.

‘I’m being serious Hyung. As much as I like you planning our dates. I want to plan one for us.’ Beckett spoke as he cooed at the boy which Beckett rolled his eyes at.

‘Well I’ll be looking forward to our date when you get back.’ Beckett smiled happily the name agreed. Their date would be one of the best. Especially since Beckett had some ideas for their third date. But that could wait especially as it was getting quite late. It hadn't been not that long since he called. But the time is now 2:15 AM.

He had nearly been on the phone with him for an hour and he knew that it was going to start getting dark in Korea soon if it wasn’t already. And he needed sleep himself. But he didn’t want to end up call just yet, but he knew rest would not come easy if he didn’t. “It's getting late. Hyung I’ll call you tomorrow. I promise. You get some rest too.’ Beckett spoke as Andi chuckled agreeing nonetheless. Beckett ended the call with a smile on his face.

He couldn't wait to get back to Korea to spend some time with the older male. Especially since he missed him just as much as he missed him. He missed and that was enough to warm Beckett’s heart.

#fictional idol community #fictional idol company #fictional idol soloist #fictional kpop idol #fictional idol oc #ℬ ─ ׁ 𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 ♡ ׁ ⫬ ⫬ ﹙ writings ﹚

[ino3zi]

﹐ ☓ TITLE. SECOND DATE

﹐ ☓ TRIGGER WARNINGS. cute moments with Beckett and his s/o. First kiss? 🤨

﹐ ☓ SETTING. October 22’

﹐ ☓ W/C. 1.4K

﹐ ☓ the outfit

﹐ ☓ korean is bold while english is regular!

A second date. A second date Beckett doesn’t remember being asked on. But after the first date, he can't help but want to go on a date with them again. Just knowing that he actually had fun on the first date as something that thrilled him to have even more fun on this date. Though how could he have fun if he didn’t know where they were going. They didn’t bother to tell him anything regarding the details of what they were going to do. They just told him to go along for the ride.

Though he was nervous about what they had planned. He couldn’t help but agree. Agree to go along with whatever they had planned. Agree to go along for the ride. If only he knew the date was going to be something he never thought of doing even after his five years in Korea. The thought had settled from his mind the moment he exited his dorm to find them standing there with the biggest smile on their face which showed off their dimples Beckett enjoyed seeing.

Beckett smiled back at them though he couldn’t help but feel a little underdressed as he looked at their attire. They took his hand, in theirs still smiling that smile of theirs. ‘I hope you like art.’ They spoke sounding excited as Beckett nodded. From the way their eyes lit up Beckett knew they had a very exciting evening ahead of them. The car ride was no exception as they listened to music, told jokes, and laughed at each other’s stupid puns. Not even once did Beckett notice that their hands were interlocked. Something he would've found himself flustered at but instead found comfort in.

His eyes widened at the sight of the museum. Maybe he was surprised because of the fact that he didn’t think they would be going to a museum. Or it was the fact that he hasn’t been to one of Korea’s museums, even though he lived in Korea for five years. Maybe he did need to get out of the house sometimes. They squeezed his hand getting his attention. He looked towards them noticing that their smile was replaced with a look of uncertainty. 'Do you not like the surprise? We can do something else if you'd like. I don't know why I choose here out of the things to do. Maybe-' Beckett chuckled which stopped their endless rambling.

"Hyung. It's perfect. There's no need to worry.' Beckett spoke reassuring the older who took a deep breath smiling at the boy. And it made them happier seeing how Beckett's eyes lit up as they entered the museum. His eyes take in all the sights. Every exhibit had his eyes popping out of his head. As much as he wanted to act as normal as possible he couldn’t help but be enamored by the sights of the museum. He was enthralled by each exhibit that he hadn’t noticed that he held on to their arm pulling them along with him. One thing he definitely didn’t notice was the fact that they were blushing. Blushing at the fact that he held onto them making sure not to lose sight of them but also at the fact that he was obsessed with looking at the exhibits. Because they hadn’t known that he would even like coming to the museum because they hadn’t bothered to tell him. But seeing him enjoying the sights was something they would remember.

At one point the museum was slowly filling up with people who wanted to see the art as much as Beckett wanted to. It kind of soured his mood knowing that he wouldn't get to see everything that evening since most people were hogging the exhibits. And it was as if they could tell he was upset as they had pulled him along with them to see their favorite exhibit in the museum. The statue was something Beckett had never seen before. Quite literally as it was made of material he had never seen. It was made of silver balls in different shapes. It was sculpted to be something unusual but very beautiful to look at.

It was impressive to Beckett who didn't say anything but listened to them explain it. Never had Beckett known that they had liked art. It was nice just listening to them talk about how this sculpture inspired them to create something as pleasing as art or music itself. Though that's not where their inspiration had come from. The inspiration had come from their father who was a skilled pianist and would often play for them when they were younger which they loved hearing and dancing to. Them talking about their past made Beckett smile as he got to know a little bit more about them than he previously learned. He held their hand tightly as they walked to the next exhibit.

The rest of the evening was spent with them walking around the museum talking about the different exhibits they had seen. Still very much holding onto each other's hand. 'How do you feel about going out to dinner?' They asked as Beckett nodded. He had worked up an appetite after walking around the museum the last few hours. ‘Where too?’ He asked as they looked at him with a smirk. One Beckett had figured out too quickly. One that could only mean they had a surprise for him. And one that he would gladly go along for because this evening was going surprisingly great for Beckett. ‘Its a surprise. And I don’t think you want me to ruin it for you, so I won’t tell you. But if you hurry up and get in the car, then you’ll get the surprise much more faster.‘ They spoke teasingly as Beckett shook his chuckling but did as they asked. 

Oh, and a surprise it was for Beckett. It was something the male had been wanting to try for the past few months. It was a restaurant that served western food. Western food he craved so much and wanted to eat, but couldn’t. But now he could. Oh, how he was going to be full by the end of the night. Hey, he deserved to at least pig out on some western food because he deserved it. He ate his cheeseburger happily as they couldn't help but laugh and find him adorable as he ate. He stopped eating to look at them with a raise of his eyebrow. ‘What?’ He questioned as they chuckled showing him the picture they managed to take of him. He flustered quickly at the sight of the photo. ‘Look how cute you look.’ They spoke as his ears and face burned a light shade of pink something they had cooed at for making him even more flustered.

By the end of the night, Beckett was drained of his energy. He just wanted to get home and sleep. He held their hand as his head rested on their shoulder as they walked up to his dorm. Tonight was a night Beckett had never experienced in his life before but wanted to do it again. Especially if it was with them. Being sleepy and somewhat tipsy didn't help Beckett as he looked for his keys. But also the fact that he didn't let go of their hand as he searched for the keys to his dorm. Once he had found them they were taken out of his hands as they opened the door for him. Beckett stood there for a moment looking at his now-opened dorm before back at them. They smiled at him ushering him to go in and go to bed. Beckett smiled sleepily hugging them tightly. ‘Hyung thank you for tonight. I enjoyed it.’ Beckett mumbled into their neck as they chuckled happily at his words.

They pulled back from the hug kissing Beckett’s lips softly. When they broke the kiss Beckett could tell from the smile in their face that his face was flushed pink. Not because of embarrassment or nervousness, but the fact that he just had his first kiss. What more could he say? Nothing as he told them good night and entered his dorm. Quite literally leaving them out in the cold. He definitely felt kind of bad for doing that to them but at the same time he felt as though he needed time to think over what just happened. He had his first kiss. And the best thing about it was that he enjoyed it. He sighed flopping down onto his coach. He flustered at the thought of it. If this was the second date then how would he get through the rest of their dates? But if all dates ended like that then he would be willing and ready to experience them.

#fictional idol community #fictional idol company #fictional idol oc #fictional idol soloist #fictional kpop idol #ℬ ─ ׁ 𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 ♡ ׁ ⫬ ⫬ ﹙ writings ﹚

[ino3zi]

﹐ ☓ TITLE. A TALK

﹐ ☓ TRIGGER WARNINGS. confliction, confusion, Beckett just wants to know everything is going to be alright.

﹐ ☓ SETTING. October 2022’

﹐ ☓ W/C. 1.3K

Beckett was confused. Confused about everything in his life leading up to this point. For the last month or so he has been confused. And it all had to do with a certain someone. Someone he never thought he could see himself with. Because up until this point of his life he had never been attracted to anyone. Sure he thought people were cute and all, but he had never felt attraction on this level before.

Now he could confidently say that he was attracted to them. He had always been attracted to them ever since he had first met them. But he didn’t realize it until they had their second date. A date that he never could’ve thought of before. A date filled with looking at beautiful art and getting to know its history. The history he had never known he wanted to learn so much about, and that he would learn so much about. After that date, he was nothing but confused.

It was his feelings fault. If only he didn’t have feelings than he wouldn’t be feeling this way. But at the same time, he was glad that his feelings were acting the way they were acting. But at the same time, he was confused. So confused that he had stopped talking to them for a few days. It was just to get his mind right. Because now it wasn’t helping that they were constantly blowing up his phone worrying about him. And he didn’t mean to make them worried he just needed some time to think.

But most importantly, he needed to tell the people he trusted the most about this. Because maybe they could come up with something, but he was worried that they wouldn’t like what he was going to tell them. He just hoped they understood. He sat patiently on the balcony of his dorm tapping his nails against the railing. He was waiting. Waiting in the cool October breeze for them to call him back. He just wanted them to call back so he could explain himself. Explain to them what was on his mind. Explain to them the inner turmoil he had been going through for the past month.

His lungs feel tight. His heart felt heavy against his chest as if it was rapidly beating against his ribcage and chest. He just needed to breathe. But the moment he heard the familiar ringtone he felt as if he couldn't breathe. He was hesitant to pick it up, but he did. But the moment he saw her face and heard her voice he couldn't help but smile. Though he had heard from her yesterday, he couldn’t help but be happy to hear it again. She smiled at her son.

‘Beckett sweetie?’ Her voice spoke. Sweet and soft just like it always was. ‘Mom.’ He could see her smile over the phone. She was always happy to hear from him, because of the fact that he lived far from her. ‘Are you doing good? Are you OK?’ She asked in a concerning tone. He sighed knowing that he had concerned her from what he had texted her earlier. But he hadn't meant to concern her because what he was going to tell her wasn’t much of her concern, rather than his. But he worried because he didn’t know how she was going to react.

‘Mom I’m fine. I just needed to call you and dad to tell you something. It’s something that has been on my mind for the past month or so but I wasn't sure of it until today. And I wanted you guys to be the first to know, but I just hope that once I tell you, everything will be alright afterward.’ The other end of the line was quiet. She was quiet. And Beckett didn’t know how to feel. ‘Your dad isn't exactly home. He just left. But I’m listening. I’m always here listening ok.’ He let go of a breath he didn't know he was holding in. This would make it even harder for him.

If there was one thing, he didn’t want to do it would have to be telling his dad this all by himself. His mom was nowhere by his side or nowhere to come to calm his dad down from what he was going to tell him if he got mad. That’s what worried him. He didn’t worry much about what his mom would have to say because she was always accepting of what he wanted to do, and what he believed in. After all, that was the type of mother she was. ‘Is that Beckett?’ He heard a second voice in the background. Coming into view was an excited Noémie who waved and smiled at Beckett.

Though he didn't think he would see her today he was glad she was there. Because she would find out at the exact same time as their mom would. And plus he knew that she would always be supportive just like their mom was so there was no fear for him to tell them both. He sighed. ‘Mom and Noèmie. As you both know, I have been seeing this person. And for a month now ever since our first date, I have felt conflicted with myself. And it wouldn’t be until today that I finally figure out what was wrong so I’m here now to tell you guys that. I’m pansexual.

“I guess I started to feel this way the past few months, but I didn’t really think of it until I started questioning myself about my sexuality. It's because I am more open to dating people without the limits of gender or their pronouns. And hey, I like what I like. So I hope you guys can accept that. Because this is me coming out to you guys and my only hope is for you guys to support me.‘ He looked at his mom and sister who wore nothing but a smile on their faces. ‘Beckett. Of course, we are going to support you, idiot. You’re my big brother so of course, you’re going to have my support. Love who you want because what matters is you live the way you want to live with whoever you want. Do you.’

Beckett smiled at those words. It was like Noémie to say something like that. On one hand she had called him an idiot, but on the other hand, she had told him that she would support him endlessly no matter what. He looked towards his mom who wiped away a tear. His eyes widen and so did Noémie’s as they looked at their mom. Though she was crying he couldn't help but notice the smile on her face. She smiled nonetheless at her son.

‘Beckett sweetie. I-i I hope you never are afraid to tell me something like that again. Because I want you to know that I will still be proud of you and support you no matter what you choose to be in life. You were given to me for me to love, and that’s what I will do for the rest of my life and your life no matter what. So you telling me this doesn’t affect the way I love you. I will love you regardless, because you are my son. My only son at that and I will be proud of you no matter what.’ Her words were quick to bring tears to his eyes. Though he knew that her words would be supportive he couldn’t help but just cry.

Sometimes he hated how supportive his family was because they always manage to bring tears to his eyes. Because at the end of the day, they would always support him no matter what. He smiled at his mom and sister thankful to have them both in his life. He could never imagine a life without them. Even if he could, he didn’t want it because no other world could compare to the one that he was in now. A world with a wonderful family who loved him just as much as he loves them. He was thankful for their support. But now he had to get through the most difficult person he has ever met before and that would be his father. He could only hope that the talk would be good.

#fictional idol community #fictional idol company #fictional idol oc #fictional idol soloist #fictional kpop idol #ℬ ─ ׁ 𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 ♡ ׁ ⫬ ⫬ ﹙ writings ﹚

[ino3zi]

── ﹙†﹚⠀ 𝐖𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒

wrong choice. ‘16

── ﹙†﹚⠀ 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐄 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒

anxiety blues. ‘16-17

── ﹙†﹚⠀ 𝐋𝐔𝐕𝐋𝐘 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 (w/ luvaphobic)

── ﹙†﹚⠀ 𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐎 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒

these feelings. ‘22

just dinner. ‘22

a talk. ‘22

second date. ‘22

but worry. ‘22

back in korea. ‘22

a confession. ‘22

𓌖 DRABBLES !

𓌖 TIME STAMPS !

1:34 AM ‘22

#ℬ ─ ׁ 𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 ♡ ׁ ⫬ ⫬ ﹙ writings ﹚ #fictional idol community #fictional idol company #fictional idol oc #fictional idol soloist #fictional kpop idol

[ino3zi]

﹐ ☓ TITLE. JUST DINNER

﹐ ☓ TRIGGER WARNINGS. Beckett knows nothing about a date?! Beckett and date in the same sentence?!? 🥲

﹐ ☓ SETTING. September 22’

﹐ ☓ W/C. 1.9K words

﹐ ☓ korean is bold while english is regular!

﹐ ☓ the outfit

He had every right to be nervous, right? Because not only was he going on what he could presume was a date but he was going on a date with the person he has been crushing on for the past month or so. But to tie it all together was the fact that it was his very first date. He had never been on a date before, and he would gladly admit that. But there was some part of him that was shameful that he had never been on a date while another part of him just didn’t care. But one thing was for certain and that was that he was nervous.

And the required help he asked to help him wasn't helping. The younger girl laughed at the male who rubbed his temples in anguish. ‘I’m asking for help and you're laughing at me.’ He scolded the younger girl who stopped laughing at him to rub her chin thinking. He shook his head taking off the jacket he had shown her as she was quiet before speaking. ‘I’m 12 Beckett. You shouldn't have asked me to help. Why not, mom?’ She rolled her eyes at her older brother who sighed taking a seat on his bed. Beckett picked up the phone. ‘Just wear the first outfit, it was good. Even if they don't like your outfit all that matters is that you made a good impression on them with your personality and if they value your looks over your personality, then too bad for them.’ Beckett couldn't help but smile at the words. Sure at times, his little sister could be a butthole but she was nice and helpful when it came to helping him out.

‘Thank you. I'll pay you back in whatever you want next time you're here.’ He spoke placing the outfit on from before. She applauded him for his appearance. ‘I should always get paid for helping you but I’ll leave you to finish getting ready for your date. Remember Beckett your personality is what matters not your looks. Love yah!’ Beckett rolled his eyes as she hung up before he could say I love you back. That was Noémie for you. He stood looking at himself in the mirror. As much as he wanted to believe what Noèmie had said he couldn't. He switched the jacket out for a brown leather jacket which made the outfit a little bit better. With his keys, phone, and wallet he went on his way.

He arrived at the restaurant perhaps an hour early. Even though he didn’t know exactly what time they would be meeting. And he couldn’t exactly text them and ask where they were because of one simple fact. He didn’t have their number. But they did manage to tell him what restaurant they would be meeting at which was a local Korean barbecue place not far from where he lived or far from the University. And as luck would have it, he didn’t have to wait long for them to show up because 15 minutes later they arrived smiling at him as they made their way over to the table where he was sitting.

‘You weren't waiting long, were you?’ They asked as they placed their jacket over the back of their chair before taking a seat. Beckett was quick to shake his head no as they smiled glad they hadn't ruined the evening by being late. But Beckett thought they were just in time. As the waiter came over to ask them what meat they would enjoy grilling. After ordering samgyeopsal, galbi, and deung-sim the waiter left them to converse. ‘You wanna know something? I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen you and anything but some sweats and a hoodie. I like the change.’ Beckett felt his cheeks get hot at their words. Maybe he did decide to dress out a little more rather than sticking to what he was comfortable with. Maybe because he wanted to impress them or just because he was going out in public. There was no telling.

‘Yeah. I wanted to try something different. It would've been rude of me to come here dressed in that.’ They nodded and smiled placing their hand over their heart in a flattering matter making Beckett laugh. ‘All for me. I'm flattered. But you could've come dressed up however you'd like. I would've still enjoyed my time with you.’ Those words made Beckett’s heart beat against his chest like a drum. There it was again. Coming to mess up Beckett’s day. Those stupid feelings of his. ‘Really? I wish you would've told me that earlier because I was freaking out over what to wear. But I'm glad to have gotten some help from my sister then.’ He chuckled as they did the same. The smile they wore was genuine and it matched the look in their eyes. A look of kindness and general curiosity.

‘You know. How about we try something? 2 truths and one lie. Just to get to know each other better.’ They suggested as Beckett nodded agreeing. They had agreed that they would start out the game. ‘I’m the oldest of 2 children. I grew up on a farm. And I'm not really good at music production.’ Beckett looked deep in thought at what they had just told him. One he didn’t know if they had another sibling or not because this was the first date so he couldn’t pass that went off as a lie. Two he thinks that could be a lie because they give off city vibes more instead of rural vibes. And three he was uncertain because he had never heard any of the music that they had produced so there was that. ‘I think it's the third one.’ But from the smile that had appeared on their face, he knew that he had gotten it wrong. They shook their head.

‘Nope. I didn't grow up on a farm. And to be honest, I’m the oldest of 2 kids. I'm the first son while my brother is the youngest. As well as I am pretty good at music production. Maybe next time you’ll get it right but it’s your turn now.’ Beckett smiled at that before thinking of his truths and lie. He had them right then and there. ‘I haven't been living in Korea for more than 5 years. I didn't know Korean until I was 5 years old. And this is my first date ever.’ They smirked and looked at him perhaps trying to figure out which one was the lie. They sat back in their chair arms crossed over their chest with a smirk on their face. Beckett raised an eyebrow at them as they began to speak. ‘Number three has to be the lie. There’s no way you haven’t been on a date before and if it is actually true I feel so flattered that I’m your first date.’

Now it was Beckett’s turn to shake his head. They look surprised that they had managed to get it wrong. ‘It hurts me to know you got it wrong. The actual lie was that I haven’t been living in Korea for five years. I’ve been living in Korea for six years now as I started living in Korea in 2016 with my birth mother. Number two and Number three were right. Number two I did start learning Korean at the age of five years old because none of my family spoke it. And number three is right and I’m flattered that you’re flattered to be my first date.’ They smiled widely at that comment laughing softly as the waiter came back with their food and 2 bottles of soju.

Beckett watched in amazement as they took control, cooking the meat on the grill in front of him. He took a drink of the soda the waiter had brought out as he watched. The place filled with the smell of barbeque something he hadn't smelled in a long time. He felt his stomach grumble and his mouth water at the sight of the cooking meat. ‘Another round? Only if you're up for it?’ They asked as Beckett nodded. ‘Ok but this time if you get it wrong one shot of soju. Do you agree?' They asked which Beckett was a little hesitant to agree but agreed to it nonetheless. 'Alright. I am actually a ballerina on the side. I am a perfectionist without trying. I have 1 dog and 2 cats.' Beckett quirked his eyebrow at the words. A ballerina he could see them being but a perfectionist they didn't give off that vibe. The dog and cats he knew were true because of the wallpaper on their phone he managed to capture a glimpse of.

'Number 2. I don't believe it.' Beckett smiled as they shrugged taking a shot of soju. 'I didn't believe it myself. As much as people say I'm a perfectionist I'm not.' They spoke honestly before sitting straight up in their chair and glancing at Beckett who grew flustered underneath their glance. They smiled as they noticed the pink flush spread across his cheeks. 'It's your turn.' They quipped laughing softly at the flustered boy who took a sip of his soda to calm down. "Umm...ok. I've lived more here than anywhere else. I'm more dedicated to helping others than helping myself. I hope we can do this again.' They rubbed their chin with their fingers. ‘I think the first one is the lie.’ They spoke as Beckett took a shot of Soju. They continued playing the game as they ate the meat that was done cooking.

The evening was starting to wind down. The sky had become darker. The street lights had come on but they were still enjoying their dinner and conversing amongst themselves. ‘So you're telling me you've been doing it for 5 years.’ They spoke taking a drink of soju as Beckett nodded. ‘5 years but I love doing what I’m doing. I don’t think I’ll ever be over it anytime soon.’ They nodded sighing full from all the food they had consumed. Beckett peered around at the restaurant to find it slightly more empty than before. It was only them and two other couples left in the restaurant. It was 10 going on 11 PM. They had been out for quite some hours now. But they didn’t bother to notice because of the fact that they were truly having fun talking and getting to know each other. ‘It's about closing time. Are you ready to go?’ They asked standing up from their seat as Beckett grabbed his things. The cool air of outside cooled their skin.

They walked in silence to Beckett’s place. Coming to a stop in front of the building as Beckett smiled at them. ‘We should do this again. It was fun.’ They spoke smiling back at the boy who nodded. Beckett handed them his phone so they could enter their phone number. They handed the phone back and Beckett smiled as he glanced at their number. They grabbed his hand in theirs smiling. ‘Let’s meet again soon, ok?’ They spoke as he nodded and smiled. Their hand dropped from his as they waved goodbye heading on their way. His cheeks were red and his heart pounded against his chest. Not only because his date was amazing and nice, but the fact that he had fun on his very first date. If not only that, but they wanted a second date as well. And here he thought it was only just dinner.

#fictional idol community #fictional idol company #fictional idol oc #fictional idol soloist #fictional kpop idol #ℬ ─ ׁ 𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 ♡ ׁ ⫬ ⫬ ﹙ writings ﹚

[ino3zi]

﹐ ☓ TITLE. THESE FEELINGS

﹐ ☓ TRIGGER WARNINGS. Beckett is confused?!? Crushes?!

﹐ ☓ SETTING. September 22’

﹐ ☓ W/C. 0.9K words

﹐ ☓ korean is bold while english is regular!

Beckett Noé Hong was your average student. Well, as much as he would allow himself to be. And as much as his career and being in school, would allow him to be. He never thought that being an idol and being in university would be something good. He thought that he was practically wasting his time doing university while still maintaining being an idol. But as luck would have it, he’s been at this for two years. Being a struggling college student while being a worldwide performer, singer, rapper, dancer all in one. It’s crazy. It’s crazy to him to believe that he was actually going to make it out of the university while doing what he loves.

But there were always its downsides. For one instance, the classwork that he and his classmates would get on a somewhat weekly basis or even so say daily. He hated classwork, but he was a good student and would turn it in on time, so that wasn’t a problem. How about waking up early in the morning? Which he hated it. If he could just turn off his alarm clock and stay asleep then he would but this is helping him in the future career that he wants to have. So if that means waking up early then so be it. But he also had one problem he nor anyone knew about. A problem that would make his heart beat so fast that he felt as if he was going to have a heart attack.

A sensation that felt like that quote “butterflies in my stomach.” or something like that. As much as he didn’t want to use that quote because he knew what it meant he couldn’t help it. Was this what people called crushing? Out of all 20 years of Beckett’s life, he has never felt this way. At least he tried not to feel this way. Beckett wasn’t someone who could fall in love. Being aromantic prevented that from happening. Right? Wrong! Being aromantic just meant that he didn’t want any romantic relationships. But it didn’t mean that he couldn’t fall in love, or be in love with somebody. And that’s what was happening to him.

He had a crush on his sunbae. His sunbae who paid nobody any attention. Well, no one but him. Beckett doesn’t really remember when these feelings came to be except for probably the start of the new semester. The second part of his second year of college was when he was starting to have a crush on his sunbae. His sunbae who always managed to bring him a coffee in the morning even though he wasn’t much of a coffee drinker. They would always find him sitting alone at the very bottom of the classroom right in front of the teacher's desk, and they would sit right beside him just as always smiling even though they never like to smile. Even though it wasn’t their class. But there was one precise day that he remembered they had came in late and was soaked from the rain, but they still managed to bring him a coffee and a cake. All while they smiled at him. And that was the moment he felt the fluttering in his stomach. Something he had never felt before.

It was only now that he realized he had a crush on said person. Someone so pretty they made his heart flutter from just looking at them, someone caring, kind, a good person, and a good student. A person not like himself. A person whose personality was definitely different from his own. A person who didn’t know who he was. A person who never knew he was an idol and didn’t care that he was one. With their long black hair, fair skin, and beautiful smile. A person Beckett never thought he would crush over. But hey, life is unexpected in this kind of way. And that's precisely what came to his mind the moment they sat next to him smiling.

Beckett couldn't help but wonder what was on their mind as they smiled and handed him a coffee cup full of tea instead of coffee and wrapped cake. 'You don't have to buy me things.' He spoke looking over at them as they shrugged waving him off. 'I know but it's nice too.' They spoke sipping on their coffee. Beckett nodded sipping on the tea they bought him before focusing on the computer in front of him. For the longest time, he didn't say anything and neither did they. From the corner of his eye, he could see them staring at him. He looked at them with a confused look on his face. 'What?' He spoke generally confused about the whole situation. They looked at him resting their chin in the palm of their hand.

'You should go out to dinner with me.' They spoke making his eyes widen. Never had anyone been so bold. What could he say something to that?! 'I-i umm...sure?' He stuttered over his words as they smiled and nodded. They said nothing more but smiled at him as they exited the room. He was left there with his thoughts and his feelings. Those stupid feelings. These feelings had his mind and heart screwed up. These feelings he had no clue about and had no experience with at all. These emotions that he was feeling were going to screw with him for the next few days, weeks, or heck even years. All of it was crazy. He had a lot to think about. Especially these stupid feelings of his.

#fictional idol community #fictional idol company #fictional idol oc #fictional idol soloist #fictional kpop idol #ℬ ─ ׁ 𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 ♡ ׁ ⫬ ⫬ ﹙ writings ﹚

[ino3zi]

﹐ ☓ TITLE. ANXIETY BLUES

﹐ ☓ TRIGGER WARNINGS. mentions of anxiety, sadness, some depression

﹐ ☓ SETTING. Between late 16’ to August 17’

﹐ ☓ W/C. 1.7K

﹐ ☓ korean is bold while english is regular!

As a little one, Beckett never really knew what he wanted to do in life when he grew up. He thought he would be lots of things. An astronaut, a baker, a race car driver, a soccer player, a baseball player maybe but he never would’ve thought he would become a trainee to become a kpop idol.

He went from having band practice and having soccer practice after school to training under an entertainment company all the way in South Korea. No one was with him. His mom, dad, and little sister were all in Canada, Whereas he was all alone in Korea. He had his birth mother with him, but she wouldn’t be with him 24/7. he had his own schedule, and she had hers.

But he wanted to do it, so he had to go at it alone. The moment he stepped into the company it felt like a whole different vibe than he was used to. People were scattered throughout the entrance of the building and even in the stairwells. He stood awkwardly by the entrance of the building, hands clasped in front of him, barely struggling to keep it together. 

From the looks of it, everyone was much older than him, except for a few. Most people were taller than him as well as he stood at a mere 5’8. And from the looks of it, some were more experienced than him. People were singing, or practicing dances as others tried to get by. Meanwhile, for him, everything was so new and scary.

Everyone around him was chatting with the person beside them while he stayed silent. Even if he wanted to speak to anyone he couldn't. He wasn't confident in his Korean yet. Maybe making friends would just have to wait. Maybe soon enough he would be speaking fluently without doubting himself, maybe. He had been zoned out to realize he was getting called for his evaluation until someone had come to collect him.

He was all alone in the room until another person entered. They had taken his weight, and height, and assigned him a schedule for both his fitness and diet before sending him on his way. Their eyes burned into him as he entered the next room. 3 people sat at a table at the front of the room. 2 men and 1 woman. He hadn't seen them before but with one look at them he knew they weren't messing around.

‘Beckett, right?’ The man in the middle spoke. He nodded bowing politely at the table of people. ‘Foreigner, huh? Do you speak Korean?’ The man asked. He should've known he would have to speak Korean. Maybe he should've practiced more before coming today. ‘Just a little.’ He spoke as the judges, nodded, and began to write something down on the paper in front of them. Beckett could feel his heart beat a little faster at that. What did they write? Was it something bad about him? He could only hope not. 

‘Today, we’ll be evaluating you on dance, rap, and singing. Just to see what you need to improve. Let’s start with singing first.’ He froze at the words. He didn't know he would have to sing right now. But it wasn't just the fact that he had to sing but singing, rapping, and dancing. The training was going to be a lot harder than he expected.

He hoped his singing would be enough to satisfy them. He began to sing the opening of Lana Del Ray’s ‘Young and Beautiful. There was nothing but the sound of his voice as the judges watched him. Their gaze felt like hooks digging into his skin as they just watched and listened. Even as he finished the song they hadn't said nothing but tell him to move onto rapping.

It made him worry about what they would say after it was all done. Both rapping and dancing had gone by just the same as singing did. No clapping or compliments just absolute silence until he had finished what they needed of him. His hands were clasped tightly as he waited to hear their input. His heart pounded in anxiousness and dread. What if he hadn't done well? What if they kicked him out of the company for not living up to their standards? Could they even do something like that?!

He hoped not. The more and more his brain rambled over the thought the more nervous he became. The sound of someone clearing their throat got his attention. He was shocked to see the eyes of the judges on him. He felt small under their gaze. ‘Let’s get started shall we? Let's begin with singing. Singing overall seems to be your strong suit. A good pitch, can hold the notes for long. Have you had vocal lessons before this?’

‘No sir.’ What he was saying was true. Never in all of his 15 years of life had he taken vocal lessons. Singing must've just come easily to him. ‘Hmmm. While singing may be your strong suit rapping and dancing need to be improved for you. Rapping which I can see you struggle with. Struggle to keep up with the pace and shortness of breath. We’ll need to work on that before we consider you able to debut.’ The woman had spoke for the first time. And it wasn't something that Beckett wanted to hear.

Her telling him that he sucked at rapping which he knew but it made him feel worse after hearing it come from her mouth. He nodded moving his gaze over to the next judge who was about to speak. ‘There needs to be an improvement in dancing. I know this may be your first time doing something like this but it doesn't change the fact this can't happen again. You came here to debut so that’s what we're trying to get you to do. Pushing you towards that goal. So step it up and do what’s expected of you or you'll get cut. Got it?’ The man’s words were harsh but Beckett knew they were only trying to help him.

But he couldn't help but feel the tears start to well up. He bowed at the table before exiting the room. That's how it went on for months upon months. He never got a break beside the one they gave them on holidays but the holidays didn't come fast enough to him. And then there was what he hated the most. Monthly evaluations. They were what he least wanted while training. And it didn’t help matters better when he had to perform with others. He always consider himself the underdog of each group he was in. It didn’t make him feel any better. 

The August evaluation was here. And he and his group were performing BTS’ newest release DNA. He paced the halls of the company as his group mates watched him. Bon-Hwa didn't even try to hide the distaste he had for the boy while Loren another foreigner like Beckett stayed quiet. He watched a group come out with a look of defeat on their faces. That’s when he knew he wasn't going to do well. The other team had practiced so well and here they were looking like someone had killed their puppy.

What if that happened to him and his group? He didn't want to be the one to cause them trouble by messing up the choreography and his lines. Just thinking about caused him distress. His breath became short, his heart was pounding against his chest. He couldn't be having one right now. The panic attack wasn't what he needed right now. Not when his group was about to perform. The more he tried to stop it the harder it become. ‘Hey, Beckett calm down. It's going to be alright.’ Loren spoke leading him to one of the many chairs. As much as he didn't want them to see him like this he couldn't go anywhere. He was stuck in one place.

Loren was always there when Beckett seemed to have a panic attack. It only started to occur to him that the boy gets panic attacks when one day he found him struggling to breathe and kept telling himself to calm down. That was the day Loren had started to help the younger out with these attacks of his. Loren held his hands tightly as he told him to breathe. It took him a while to get his breathing under control and for his heart to stop beating rapidly against his chest. The hall was quiet as neither he nor his teammates had said a word. He was too embarrassed to. 

This is why he felt like a burden to his team. No confidence, always just scared of the next things that was about to happen. He wished he understood that. ‘Team B you’re up next.’ One of the judges called from the room. He felt his stomach bubble at the words. He guessed Lauren, could feel what he was feeling as well as he looked towards him. His eyes gleaming bright, and with so much reassurance within them. Beckett wished he had that much confidence as him. Loren nudged him with his shoulder as Beckett turned to look at him. ‘Hey, we’re going to do good. Even if the judges don’t think so. What matters is that we do not them.’ His words were nice, but Beckett couldn’t help but still feel nervousness.

But the moment the music came on, and everything became quiet. He danced. Dance and sung, as if no one else was in the room with him. And when it was all over he stood there out of breath as he slowly came back to reality. The judges clapped as the let the three catch their breath. One by one the judges called upon them. And as it seemed Beckett was called upon last. His hands clasped in front of him. ‘This performance was what we wanted to see especially of you Beckett. I’m impressed by this performance. Keep up the good work.’ The female judge spoke as the others judges nodded along with what she had said.

The three of them exited the practice room with smiles on their faces. Bon-Hwa had left after patting the other two on the backs. Loren patted Beckett’s back as he spoke. ‘I’m proud of you. Let’s do the same thing next month, ok?’ He spoke giving the boy another pat on the back before walking off. Beckett stood there glad that it was over. But there would always be next month up until he debuted. Just him and his anxiety blues until then.

#fictional idol community #fictional idol company #fictional idol oc #fictional idol soloist #fictional kpop idol #ℬ ─ ׁ 𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 ♡ ׁ ⫬ ⫬ ﹙ writings ﹚

[ino3zi]

﹐ ☓ TITLE. WRONG CHOICE

﹐ ☓ TRIGGER WARNINGS. sadness, heartbreak

﹐ ☓ SETTING. May 16’

﹐ ☓ W/C. 1.0K

The time was 12:35 AM but to him, it felt like anything but that. Time seemed to be going faster than usual. Usually when he had something coming up that he was excited about time would always go slowly for him, but it seemed time was rushing. Rushing him to get all the things he needed to get done before he had to leave. 

Leave? Where was he going? Why was he going? That was the question on his mind especially since his parents were allowing him to go. He wished that they were more lenient with him, or at least made him beg more. He couldn’t believe that they had agreed to this. Allowing their 15-year-old son to go to South Korea all on his own.

They probably weren’t worried because he was going with someone they knew and someone they trusted heck he trusted her with his life especially since she was his birth mom, but it still doesn’t make him feel any better about the whole situation.

Maybe he was overthinking it all or maybe he wasn’t? He had spent days packing for this trip but why did it feel as though he was missing something? Why did it feel as if he forgot something important? He had checked the list over and over again and it was all there, so what is he missing? 

He was missing the one thing he knew he would miss the most. Time with his family. He had been stressing himself out so much over the last few days that he had forgotten to spend any time with his family. Maybe that’s why time was going so fast? To make sure he doesn’t have any time left for his family.

He sighed as rain begin to pour outside. Why was it mocking him? A faint knock came and went. The first time he didn’t hear it as he stared up at the empty ceiling of his bedroom. But the second time he heard it as a grew a little bit louder than the last time. The floorboards creaked beneath him as he made his way over to the door opening it just a crack. Only to see who was disturbing him at this time of night.

He wore a gentle smile on his face as he looked down at the tiny person. Standing there clad in Star Wars pajamas, turtle stuffed animal in hand, and her big doe eyes staring back at him. He almost couldn’t help but coo over her adorableness as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

He wondered why she was here in the first place. Maybe a nightmare, or just feeling lonely. He never knew even as he bent down to her height. ‘Hey, what are you doing up?’ He questioned. The little girl latched on to him hugging him tightly. He sighed holding the small child close to him. ‘Did you have a nightmare?’ He asked as she was quick to shake her head no.

He looked down at her confused. ‘Then let’s go back to bed, ok?’ He spoke as she shook her head yet again. He knew that could only mean one thing. ‘I want to sleep here.’ She spoke as she buried her head deeper into the crook of his neck. He sighed nodding his head as he took her small hand into his.

She sat quietly in the center of the bed as she waited for him to re-enter the room. When he did, she smiled at the small nightlight he held within his hands. This was always the case when it came to her staying in his room with him. Her nightlight had to be in the room with her as well. He took a seat beside her as he pulled the cover-up over her tiny body making sure to tuck her in. He only stopped, and when her voice called out to him. 

‘Are we going somewhere?’ She asked pointing to where his suitcases stood. He sighed. Sometimes he hated that she was smart for her age. She was only seven years old, but she knew that anytime she saw a suitcase that it meant that they were going somewhere. But this time she would be nothing but disappointed. ‘Not us. Just me.’ He spoke as she looked up at him with confusion. He wondered how he could explain this to her. He wondered how he could explain it to her without her getting upset or even possibly crying. Because that’s the thing he least wanted to happen. 

‘I’m not going with you?’ She questioned eyes watering up at the thought. He shook his head as the tears started to flow down her cheeks. He wrapped his arms around her pulling her into his lap. ‘Don't cry. I won't be gone long.’ He spoke trying his best to reassure her even if he wasn’t exactly telling the truth. In all honesty, he didn't know how long he would be training or how long it would be until he will get to see his family again. He just didn't want her to worry about it. He wiped the tears from her cheeks as she calmed down.

‘I don't want you to go.’ Her lip quivered as he sighed rubbing her back in small circles. ‘I know. But I won’t be gone long. I’ll be right back.’ He spoke as she looked up at him though her tear filled eyes. ‘Do you promise?’ She asked holding out her pinkie. He linked his with hers smiling softly at hers. ‘I promise.’ He reassured her knowing deep down inside that what he was saying wasn’t true.

He hated lying to the one person who didn’t deserve to be lied to. He sighed pulling the cover over her sleeping form. She slept so soundly even though the room felt loud to him. Loud with his thoughts that ran rampant. But there was one thought that just wouldn’t go away. Why did he lie to her? Why did she have to believe him and his stupid lie? Why was she so naive? Was it wrong for him to leave his family and pursue his dream? Was it the wrong choice?

#fictional idol community #fictional idol company #fictional idol oc #fictional idol soloist #fictional kpop idol #ℬ ─ ׁ 𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 ♡ ׁ ⫬ ⫬ ﹙ writings ﹚

[ino3zi]

ᓭི༏ᓯྀ｡ﾟ❛ THE TAGS

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