#ℒ | And I tried to hold these secrets inside me. ( Headcanon. )

[fangsforhire]

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐘𝐏𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄?

Chaotic Soul

You have acquired the Chaotic soul. you don't know who you are or what you are doing. whether from the beginning or it has been taken from your grasp. everything bounces around inside of you. a restless energy buzzing in your throat. an ache to pull the trigger. you say things without thinking. revenge drips from your teeth in a fleshly grotesque way. it drips down your chin and smears onto your clothing. pooling in your collar bones. you will make them pay for what they did to you and you'll take anyone down to get it. it'd be impossible to tell you to relax. but don't be so obstinate in letting others wipe your mouth. clean you up. people don't always want to hurt you. you have scars across your heart that need tending.

#ℒ | And I tried to hold these secrets inside me. ( Headcanon. ) #{ Daaaaamn ;; }

[fangsforhirearchive]

* MUSE AESTHETIC ;  repost, don’t reblog.

TAGGED BY: stolen from @facemypast TAGGING: EVERYONE & ANYONE.

the softest palms that never want to touch you until after a bottle of wine. ╱ “ just braid your hair if you won’t brush it, at least, you useless girl. ” ╱ pulling on your skirt with one hand as you shuffle away. ╱ “ you’ll get it done before the day is up. ” ╱ guilt that isn’t yours to have. ╱ it’s a crooked game, but it’s the only one in town. ╱ chains. ╱ “ how could you do this to me? ” ╱ the sharp sting of guilt. ╱ you feel something even though you’re paid to do the opposite. ╱ the family you never had. ╱ falling backwards through time.╱quicksand. ╱drowning, but you don’t save yourself. ╱ “ you’re getting better. ” ╱ “ they smile like a snake. ” ╱ you’re the stars and the sky. ╱ there’s a part of you that couldn’t stay away even if you were forced to. ╱ they are your wings, there’s no doubt there. ╱ “ let’s take off somewhere. let’s fly. ” ╱ you edge a bit too close to the sun. ╱another ghost to take your place after every stumble. ╱deep roots in the ground slashed open in the sun.

rock candy melting in water. ╱ waves rise and leave the foam behind. ╱ the precipice you call home has a tip you’ll reach eventually. ╱ happiness is the best front a man can take. ╱ “ i’ve never seen someone as beautiful as you before. ” ╱ you disagree; they’re more beautiful. ╱discomfort at the tiniest of touches. ╱ the sky opens up when you see them.╱ rain comes down. ╱ poppy fields. ╱ your sanity hanging by a thread.╱ “ oh god, what have you done? ” ╱ roommates weren’t supposed to be the smartest ones of all. ╱ they’ve got a devil on their shoulder and an angel in their mind. ╱ you try to help, but it only got worse.╱now they’re dead, it’s all your fault. ╱ adam & eve in the garden. ╱ a temptress in crisp button-downs. ╱ “ fuck, you’ve gone off the deep end, haven’t you? ”╱ they lie so perfectly you almost forget yourself. ╱ the spark that lit the kindling on your funeral pyre. ╱ sugar and spice and a taste for the dark side.

yves saint laurent ╱ black opium on your pillow, a scented cloud drifting behind you like a cape. ╱ crisp green apples piled up on the table. ╱ your shoes are sharp, but your wit is even sharper. ╱ what a pretty one, they say. ╱ you laugh without humor. ╱ a soft, hollow spot sits in your chest. ╱ there’s a place you’ll never leave no matter who tries to stop you. ╱ the seat of power fits like a glove. ╱ heavy is the head that wears the crown.╱you share a space, but not a mind. ╱ they think you are weak; you are, maybe. ╱ “ what are you going to do with all of these pills? ” ╱ an empty bird’s nest. ╱ broken pencil tips. ╱ there’s an empty paper in front of you that you’ll never fill. ╱ “ we want you to succeed. i hope you can grasp that. ” ╱ “ they weren’t there when it happened. ”

corruption. ╱ there’s a red string tying you together. ╱ the scent of whiskey on the horizon. ╱ “ you’re the best friend i’ve ever had. ” ╱ pink tipped fingers lock in secrecy. ╱ 99 red balloons drifting through a hazy sky. ╱ you try to lift your head up, but it’s so much effort.╱always walking on sunshine. ╱ there’s a million reasons to come down from the clouds, but you can’t be bothered. ╱ hair twisted up with glitter butterfly clips like a haphazard mobile. ╱you drift, but you know where you’re going. ╱ no one has any dirt on you because you’re infinitely spotless. ╱ the empty side of your bed they crawled into when they were nine. ╱court hearings. ╱ “ I miss you. ” ╱ siblings are a funny thing. ╱ they point out every family-shaped hole in every picture on the mantelpiece. ╱ blackbird screaming ╱ wake in nightmares ╱ are you an illusion? ╱ i don’t feel real. ╱who is in control?.

#ℒ | And I tried to hold these secrets inside me. ( Headcanon. )

[fangsforhire]

BDSM RESULTS.

== Results == 100% Masochist 100% Sadist 100% Switch 97% Degrader 96% Rope bunny 96% Primal (Prey) 95% Experimentalist 95% Voyeur 94% Brat 94% Rigger 93% Primal (Hunter) 93% Exhibitionist 85% Submissive 79% Dominant 74% Brat tamer 47% Degradee 24% Master/Mistress 19% Non-monogamist 13% Owner 6% Slave 3% Pet 0% Ageplayer 0% Daddy/Mommy 0% Boy/Girl 0% Vanilla

#ℒ | And I tried to hold these secrets inside me. ( Headcanon. ) #ℒ | No one's ever gonna censor me. ( NSFW. ) #{ Lucien WHY ;; } #{ Huge trigger warning in himself ;; }

[fangsforhire]

Lucien loathes it when people use his name in front of others he deems of no importance. It’s the only thing he’s carried with him from the start of time; having been made up entirely by himself.  Though for a very long time, no one knew his name. He was simply known as an alias or the most infamous ℒ . He became a feared legend stained in blood, haunting the criminal underworld. His reputation grew as each century passed, many believing him to be a ghost and a thing of fairy tales. 

He still hasn’t grown used to being in the limelight, in not existing within the shadows and for that reason; he protects his identity as much as he can. There is no trace of his existence, he naturally doesn’t even possess a birth certificate and he covers his tracks extensively. 

Memories will be removed, bodies desecrated and no visible evidence on his kills. Catching him really is like trying to catch smoke. He’s worked for some of the most dangerous beings of creation. A formidable killer and a wrathful foe. Underestimating him is the last thing one may do.

#ℒ | And I tried to hold these secrets inside me. ( Headcanon. ) #{ Basically don't underestimate the power of the panther ;; }

[fangsforhire]

Lucien has a unique case of DID. 

To some extent he has control over this & has developed a relationship with most of his alters, gaining an agreement when it comes to emerging & fronting. Some of Lucien’s alters are even separate from him & can walk around freely. ( The ones that have the most free reign are the ones that are able to successfully fool others into believing that they are Lucien. ) They’ve become well adept at blending in & discovering how to mimic his mannerisms, unless they are projecting out.

His DID is not common knowledge, unless he on a personal level confides in a person. It is very rare now for an unexpected switch to happen & him to completely black out, unaware of what’s going on around them. ( It has taken a long time for him to accept this part of himself, for there are living people inside his head at all times. Most don’t even catch a glimpse of them, never mind get the privilege of meeting them. ) Nevertheless, it is still possible to trigger a fragment inside his mind, a piece of memory that hasn’t fully developed & when this happens, he can have a dazed look on his face.

With each alter ‘shed’ Lucien is under the impression he has lost a piece of himself.

#ℒ | And I tried to hold these secrets inside me. ( Headcanon. ) #{ I am considering writing some of them on request ;; } #{ well the ones that aren't separate on their own blog ;; }

[fangsforhire]

Lucien is very much a cat by nature, in certain aspects of his personality and has all the traits of the feline five at varying levels. Despite loathing some of the nicknames that people invent related to his panther form, having heard the majority a thousand times over, they suit him down to the ground, for he is selective with whom he spends his time, likes to approach others, rather than being fussed over, and values his independence above most. Not to mention he’s a keen hunter, and even purrs intensely when he’s happy. Since there’s no name for his species, he’s since invented one, and calls himself the celestial demonic catpire !

#ℒ | And I tried to hold these secrets inside me. ( Headcanon. )

[fangsforhire]

WHAT’S YOUR LITERARY ARCHETYPE?

THE SIREN

this archetype is one of the most misunderstood and misrepresented in my opinion, which i assume fits with you nicely. people see you as some cold and awful person, seducing others only to discard them when you get bored. in reality, you probably didn’t have a lot of control over your life before, did you? this is the same case as the ruler, both lacking in power and autonomy. the difference between you and the ruler, however, is that you only care about reclaiming that power for yourself. you also seek the feeling of being wanted, truly and wholly, and this quest seems never ending. try your best to avoid putting yourself into horrible situations just for a brief moment of respite from the loneliness.

#ℒ | And I tried to hold these secrets inside me. ( Headcanon. )

[fangsforhire]

WHAT COLOUR DOES YOUR LOVE FEEL LIKE?

deep staining red

Ripped out confessions, warm velvety whispers and a heart like an open wound. Your love flows out like dripping blood, beautiful, flawed and twisted. It's gut wrenching, the type of painfully dramatic feeling that makes you clutch your chest, picturing dramatic monologues about love and loving and big screen over the top scenes of sobbing into your pillow until you fall asleep. It rips out of you, clawing it's way up your throat more so than tumbling out. Sticky words that just need to be let out, feelings so big they don't fit inside you.

Your love isn't easy, it's a true bloody mess, dripping and staining everything it touches in a desperate attempt to be seen, to be felt, to be loved back. And you, you love so hard, so deeply, so much for someone who carries all that pain. Atlas holding up the world, how are you? Is your love still flowing? Is your heart still open? Still pumping and bleeding and dripping with blood and tears? Still painting your beautiful pictures and writing your love letters in deeply personal red ink?

Because I see them, I read them, I love them and you, you, you, you. Clench your chest, scream your love, cry it out. Spill your words of loving, keep your heart beating, keep your love coming and paint the entire world red with it. Make it in your image, keep going, it's okay. Maybe one day the whole world can be red and loved and beautiful just like you.

#ℒ | And I tried to hold these secrets inside me. ( Headcanon. ) #{ Ouch ;; }

[fangsforhire]

What does your muses name mean?

NAME: Lucien Michael Morningstar.

Meaning: Elegant and ethereal, Lucien is a French boy’s name that means “light.” It is the French equivalent of the Spanish Luciano and the Latin Lucianus and Lucius. These, in turn, derive from the Latin word lux, from which you get the meaning “light.” Lucien is a great choice if you like the sound of Luke or Lucas—which come from different root words—but want a more unusual name that will help keep baby in the spotlight.

#ℒ | And I tried to hold these secrets inside me. ( Headcanon. ) #ℒ | Will you think that you're all alone when no one's there to hold your hand? ( Queue. )

[fangsforhire]

ROMANCE HEADCANONS, repost, don't reblog!

name ;;   ‘ Lucien Michael Morningstar. Yeah, a mouthful.’ nickname ;;  ' Ugh -- Most commonly used? Lucy. Kitten.’ gender ;;  ' Male. ‘ romantic orientation ;;  ' Gay! ‘ preferred pet names ;; ‘ Oh honey, I’m the most unbearable pet name giver known to man. Or are you speaking about the ones I prefer to be called? I suppose I can tolerate most of them, just nothing like snookems and that shit, and we’re good.’ relationship status ;;   ‘ Mind your own business. ‘ ( Verse dependent. ) opinion on true love ;;  ‘ Man, it’s fucked. Alright? Being in love messes you up so bad, it makes you question everything you believed in. It sends your entire world upside down and worse? It’s wonderful. When it’s good, it’s mind blowing and when shit hits the fan -- yeah that’s when it’s a kick in the teeth, huh? Love has the power to build, and destroy. It’s incredibly powerful, and I used to scoff at it. More fool me.’ opinion on love at first site ;;  ‘ Do you think this is a romance novel? The fuck? It doesn’t exist. Sure you can snap your eyes on someone and think, I wanna bang them, or imagine yourself in some twisted fantasy where reality doesn’t exist, but it isn’t practical or natural. Love takes time and effort. Infatuation isn’t love. Lust isn’t love. Don’t believe what you read in books or see in movies, kids. That’s just cheesy shit to keep people going ‘aww’ - a way to rake in the cash and hell it works. Fair play.’ how romantic are they? ;; ‘ I can wine ‘n dine, if that’s what you mean? All depends.’ ideal physical traits ;; ‘ I’m assuming you mean physical features? I don’t really care, as long as they’re not ugly as sin. Then again beauty is in the eye of the beholder, no?’  ideal personality traits ;;   ‘ Oh boy…. Well confidence is a huge turn on for me. I don’t like the meek and weak, so… someone with that. Someone who can dominate the room and make heads turn, I like a challenge, in the bedroom and out. I like people who answer back, and give me a run for my money, I guess.’ unattractive physical traits ;;  ‘ Dunno. I either like you or I don’t, simples.’ unattractive personality traits ;;  ‘ Complete and utter do-gooders. People who kiss arse. People who are all talk, you know? All bark and no bite. Christ. What’s the point? ‘ ideal date ;; ‘ Meeting and going to some restaurant or other, or an art gallery and then afterwards, having sex under the stars… Hey - are you taking notes?’ do they have a type? ;; ‘ Yes. Obviously. Doesn’t everyone? Ugh do I have to say it? Fiiiine. Men who can put me on my knees. Go big or go home.’  average relationship length ;; ‘ Depends, you’re asking me questions and giving me absolutely no context or scenario. It has varied. My longest has been years, my shortest, a few months. ‘ preferred nonsexual intimacy ;;  ‘ I assume you’re expecting me to say cuddling? Fuck that. I ain't a teddy bear. Nah, I enjoy sparring, laughing and drinking my partner under the table. I also like having showers and baths with ‘em, but… that usually leads into another department, so.’ commitment level ;; ‘ Again. I’ve been known to commit, but it’s rare for me to do so. Most of the time when I come attached, I take that as a warning sign and get as far away as possible. It takes a lot to make me stay. What can I say? I’m a free spirit.’ opinion of public affection ;;   ‘ PDA? Absolutely not. Not that I care about making other people uncomfortable, don’t get me wrong, but there’s a time and a place for that kind of crap.’ past relationships ;; ' I reserve the right not to answer this question, capeesh?’

#ℒ | And I tried to hold these secrets inside me. ( Headcanon. ) #{ He's now needing a drink & growling at me so you're all welcome ;; }

[fangsforhire]

WHAT KIND OF HERB ARE YOU?

DANDELION.

You grew up too fast and all you know is the calluses on your fists and the thousand invisible scars that you pretend don't ache. Your anger burns so bright, so hot or maybe not at all, so deep you could never tell it was there. You are yours and you will defend that to the death after so many years of being ripped apart and denied your own agency and maybe you are still facing the bastards who stole your innocence but you will survive because that's the only thing you know how to do without breaking, the only thing you know besides protect, protect, protect, protect, yourself or sometimes those few others you claim as yours. You are a thousand sharp edges but impenetrable, a traumatized child so covered by thorny armor that you promised yourself you're grown now, you're stronger than anyone who has ever hurt you. You're safe. Nothing will ever hurt you again. You're so alone though sometimes, in a world that sees you as too much or too broken or too angry or too hurt, and you want to scream with the too-much of it, prove that you're okay, that you're self-reliant, that you are strong enough to stake your claim on your body, on your mind, on your heart, on your people, and protect it from any who dare take it away from you. You are the sea in tempest, a howling sky, a tsunami in motion, a force of nature, no matter how much you sometimes yearn to be still, to be safe, to be small. You are a dandelion, stubborn and determined to grow in the rockiest of soil, and bloom again in spring.

#ℒ | And I tried to hold these secrets inside me. ( Headcanon. ) #{ Paaaaaaaain ;; }

[fangsforhire]

WHAT KIND OF LOVE ARE YOU?

LOVE AS A PERFORMANCE.

Your love is a masquerade, a dance, a work of art. You love with a veil across your face, unable to allow anyone to see the real you. Can that be considered love, you wonder? As a performer, you have all your lines prepared, and you know exactly what to say and when to say it. You’re charismatic and bold, seductive and hypnotic. Your love is a snake’s melody, the siren song of the sea. Your love is enchanting. Your love is melodic. Your love is afraid and fearful and longing. You ache to tear the veil off, you ache to cast poetry aside for the sake of something real and gritty. You’re terrified of the very thought. Being loved by you is to be loved by an artist; it is to be a muse. It reflects others beautifully, but never, ever yourself. Not really. Not truly.

#ℒ | And I tried to hold these secrets inside me. ( Headcanon. ) #{ OUCH ;; }

[fangsforhire]

WHAT IS YOUR SOULMATE LIKE?

AN ADVENTURE.

have you ever met someone who challenges everything you’ve ever known? someone who makes your heart race, someone who’s always off getting themselves into something-- and they take you along with them? when you meet your soulmate suddenly you find yourself looking forward to anything and everything, because no matter what you’re doing, they’ll spin it into a crazy memory you’ll look back fondly on. maybe you crave toxicity. maybe you crave comfort. when you meet this person, you’ll find yourself abandoning all your previous notions to keep up with them. its up to you to decide if you want them or not--maybe you dont like the idea of constant surprises, but know this: adventurous people have this way of changing the people around them before they leave. my grandfather’s last words to me were “i hope you live a life filled with adventures, big or small.” i’ve been chasing that feel of adventure since. I sincerely hope that you find the adventure you’re looking for.

#ℒ | And I tried to hold these secrets inside me. ( Headcanon. ) #ℒ | Will you think that you're all alone when no one's there to hold your hand? ( Queue. )

[fangsforhire]

LOSE YOURSELF IN A DREAM.

PATIENCE.

you've put up with a lot, haven't you? you're not used to speaking your mind, the real thoughts you have. you've stayed low and tried to soften the pain. you think keeping yourself locked up will help things, but rooms can't air out unless the door is open. i promise it's okay to be raw. i promise it's okay to be an open door. things will get better because you're good at handling pain. so keep fighting, yeah? you'll have a place to put it down some day.

#ℒ | And I tried to hold these secrets inside me. ( Headcanon. ) #ℒ | Will you think that you're all alone when no one's there to hold your hand? ( Queue. )

[fangsforhire]

WHAT TYPE OF VILLIAN ARE YOU?

NO MORAL COMPASS.

You are cold, analytical, and you strive to be as objective as a person of flesh and blood can be. Either you don't understand the concepts of good and evil, or you understand it perfectly and think it's a load of bull. Some may call you selfish, some may call you unfeeling, but you're just doing what you believe will yield the best results, plain and simple. Why bother with petty ideals of right or wrong when you can do what will actively help those you give a fuck about? Your goals may be selfish or noble or anything in between, but you will not let anyone make you feel like garbage for going after them. You couldn't care less about what people brand you as. You just care about getting shit done by any means necessary.

#ℒ | And I tried to hold these secrets inside me. ( Headcanon. ) #{ This is extremely accurate ; holy shit ;; }

[fangsforhire]

HOW ARE YOU COLOUR CODED?

BLACK CODED.

black, a study in secrets, the soul, and a love of the unknown. you love to tell people that you're dark - something along the lines of 'i like it as dark as my soul'? or maybe you're the sort of person to believe that the only thing you can trust is the darkness, and the things that lurk within it. maybe you're the sort of person who thinks that the light obscures more than it reveals, casting more into shadow than it illuminates, trusting only the shade as a friend. you don't think anyone understands you, and maybe to an extent no one knows the depths of your soul the way that you do. but that doesn't mean you should shut the entire world out. some people love the dark just as much as you, and that vantablack inside your soul isn't frightening to them. reach out.

#ℒ | And I tried to hold these secrets inside me. ( Headcanon. ) #{ He feels totally called out ;; }