#…and here i am stuck at home doing math (drudgery) and working in retail (which is okay but I’m not staying there forever)

[thebeautifulfantastic]

today i realized that i actually really miss being in school. i miss having that sort of intellectual and creative stimulation. there’s so much that i still want to learn in the fields that i’m passionate about, and perhaps one of the reasons i’ve been so creatively dries out lately is because i’m essentially teaching myself a lot of things?

#i want to learn!!! i want to put my theoretical knowledge of the performing arts into PRACTICE #especially with writing tho. i want to get good at it and figure out my style and idk recover the confidence i used to have #and acting is just like… i gotta DO it. i have to just learn through practice #and i want to go to college and find a group of creative friend that i can feel at home with and we can help each other produce our ideas #i was doing application stuff today and i guess it just made me realize how bored i am #i’m made for more #ik that sounds pretentious but i am not ready to settle down. there so much left to DO #…and here i am stuck at home doing math (drudgery) and working in retail (which is okay but I’m not staying there forever) #also i think the real distiction here is i’m longing for ARTS school. i’m missing being able to immerse myself in subjects that I specifical #*specifically love #i DO NOT miss high school #belle speaks #stories of my life #yearning hours #poem idea