#‘he’s not a citizen’ pack it up bruce maddox! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

servetolive · 6 years

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Data/B4 - Marriage of convenience

had to get drunk to write this too. fluff and family arguments and general fluffy shit. also, LONG AS FUCK

Data and Maddox greeted each other amiably in his office, reaching for each other’s hands to shake.

“Captain Maddox now, is it not?”

“Yes, that’s right,” Maddox beamed. “Thanks in part to your brother.”

“You are making progress in your research?”

“Yes, indeed. Hello, Lal.” He nodded to Lal, who was, for some reason, smiling broadly. She curtsied in her dress. “You’re here for your visit, I presume?”

“Not exactly,” Data explained. “I have come to collect B4.”

Maddox frowned and moved away slightly. “Collect? This is the first I’ve heard of it.”

“I apologize for the short notice, Captain. B4 and I are to marry.”

Maddox blinked his eyes rapidly, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Under Federation Family Legal Code, 482.2 Section 6, paragraph 3, B4′s lack of personhood may be solved by marriage to a Federation citizen.”

The expression on Maddox’s face transformed from disbelief, to shock, to horror, to deep resentment.

“But you’re…” His breath caught in his throat. “He…”

“I understand it is an odd arrangement, but it is one that I find necessary to prevent abuse.” His eyes darted to and fro for a moment before he corrected himself. “Not that you are a factor in that decision.”

Lal suddenly stepped forward and grabbed Maddox–who she had only met once before–excitedly by the elbows.

“He said ‘yes,’ Captain!” She squealed, jumping into the air. “We’re having a wedding!”

She spun on her toes and cried out again, “We’re having a wedding!”

“This is insane,” Maddox complained, pacing nervously–angrily–in his office. “Captain Picard, how could you allow this to happen?”

Picard stepped toward Maddox and leveled himself against him, despite the latter being at least a head taller than him. “Don’t even start. I was just made aware.”

“There has to be a law against this, somewhere.”

Deanna approached Maddox. “Is your opposition to this based on your own personal reasons,” she asked, “Or your belief that what they’re doing is unnatural?”

“Of course it’s unnatural!”

“They’re androids, Captain Maddox. Everything about them is… unnatural.”

Maddox gave her a condescending smile. “This is the United Federation of Planets, Counselor. Not West Virginia.”

Deanna started to roll her eyes before something stopped her. Her tense expression and the way she looked at Maddox was just enough to remind him that she was a Betazoid, and he balked as she began talking.

“Captain Maddox,” she said.

“Oh no,” he said, stepping away. “Please.”

“You’re jeal–”

The door slid open just in time. B4 to stepped in, arm and arm with his niece.

“Captain, Counselor,” he said, beaming. “Bruce. Have you heard?”

Picard pursed his lips as Deanna, smiling with her pretty red lips, stepped forward to place a hand on B4′s shoulders.

“I’m going to be a bride!”

Lal clapped her hands excitedly.

“Yes, B,” Deanna said. “And I’m sure you’ll make a lovely one.” She turned to Data. “Data, congratulations!”

Data gave her a nod, and his odd, flat smile. “Thank you, Counselor.”

Horrified, Maddox backed away.

“This is sick,” he grumbled, turning away towards his desk. “I’m calling JAG.”

“A sound idea, Commander.”

“Captain.”

“Right.”

Deanna walked over to Picard with a concerned look as Maddox logged into his desk terminal.

“Captain,” she said, resting a hand on his shoulder. “You’re not opposed to the union, but you’re…. uncomfortable.”

Looking very uncomfortable, Picard sighed and tugged on the hem of his jacket. “My feelings rest on the what JAG has to say about it. Otherwise, I’m wholly indifferent.”

Data walked up next. “Then you will officiate at the ceremony, sir?”

Picard turned to Data like a deer in headlights.

The conversation with JAG ended with Maddox leaving the group with a disgusted “ugh,” exiting his own office altogether.

B4′s reunion with Lore aboard the Enterprise was cut short when Lal broke the news to him, explaining everything that happened in Maddox’s office.

“You’re what?!” Aghast, Lore looked at B4, then at Data. “Brother, are you insane?”

B4 cowered slightly. “Brother, aren’t you happy to see me?”

Data tilted his head. “No, I am not. This is a sound way for B4 to gain citizenship and full personhood in the Federation.”

Like a child, B4 frowned and tugged at Lore’s sleeve. “Brother.”

Lore ignored him. “Are you fucking shitting me? What is wrong with you two?”

Lal piped up, “Uncle, why don’t you marry? Then you can have citizenship too!”

“I don’t need or want Federation citizenship!” He dug into his pocket and pulled out a tiny PADD, waving it into the air. “I have a passport! Like normal people!”

“Normal,” Lal scoffed, pushing past the three to her room. “Lore arguing about normal; that’s the fucking day.”

“Hey, watch your fucking mouth!” Lore shouted as Lal’s door closed. He tore his hands through his hair and sat down on the couch. “The Old Man would have a shit fit.”

Data frowned. “Brother, you are making B4 cry.”

“What else is new?”

B4′s bottom lip quivered. Before he could burst into tears, he tore off toward Lal’s room and disappeared into it.

Lore was unconcerned and sat staring angrily at the table.

Annoyed, Data sat next to his older brother. “I do not understand your reaction, Lore. Clearly, based on our relationship, you do not disapprove of–”

“Yeah, okay, Data. So we fuck. Putting a ring on it is like ANNOUNCING to the whole galaxy that you’re fucking your brother.”

Data remained puzzled. “Why would you care?”

“You’re right! I don’t! I need a cigarette.” He stood up and went to the replicator. Data’s head followed him.

“Marlboro Lights, 100s.”

The replicator blipped and a pack of cigarettes in an ashtray appeared on the tray. Lore took them and furiously began to pack them against the palm of his hand.

“You are disappointed in me, Lore,” Data finally said.

“Yes, I am.” Lore tore the cellophane off and let it fall to the ground. “I don’t believe in marriage, D. B4 doesn’t know any better, but you know that. And I don’t believe you should have to do this in order for B4 to be accepted here.”

Data tilted his head. “What other option is there?”

Lore flopped back down on the couch, tossing the ashtray on the table, and flicking the nail up on his thumb to use as a lighter.

“Hey, here’s an idea!” He said sarcastically, mumbling around the cigarette. “How about we leave? Why do we have to stay in the Federation? They don’t seem to want us here!”

“I have a job here,” Data said.

“No, you don’t.” Lore blew smoke from his nostrils, and pointed at his chest. “I have a job; I make money. You are a volunteer Boy Scout.”

“Larceny is not considered a job in most societies, dear brother.”

Lore rolled his head over to give Data a dull look, before softening his eyes.

“Seriously,” he said quietly. “You, me, B4, Lal.” He brought the back of his free hand to caress Data’s jaw. “Fuck this place. Come with me.”

Data responded as he always did: leaning his mouth towards his brother’s hand.

“Don’t do this for them.” Lore pulled himself up and sat nearly nose to nose with his younger brother. “We can be whatever we want, away from here. We don’t need labels or anyone to tell us who we are or aren’t.”

Data appreciated the sincerity in Lore’s statement and voice. He placed a hand over his brother’s.

“I cannot, brother,” he said quietly. “I like it here.”

Lore sighed and flopped back against the couch.

“This one?”

B4 was sitting on the couch between Deanna and Lal, his chin propped up with his hands as he scanned dresses with Lal.

“I don’t like brown, Baby Girl.”

“Alright,” Lal pressed another button on the remote, and the holoprojector offered another dress: a champagne, chiffon gown that hid the shoulders.

“This one?”

B4 shook his head. “I don’t like that color either.”

Lore entered the room, with several PADDs in his hands.

“This one?” A teal, corsetted dress, reminiscent of 18th century French couture.

“The Captain may like that one,” Deanna said, smiling.

“What is this?” Lore asked grumpily, dumping the PADDs onto the table and sitting in the armchair adjacent to the others. He stiffened. “Are you picking out a dress, B?”

“No, mine,” Lal said.

“B4,” Deanna said, likely just to spite Lore. “Do you want to wear a dress?”

B4 opened his mouth, but Lore interrupted.

“No,” he said, sneering at Deanna. “No dress.”

“I’m the one getting married, Lore,” B4 huffed.

“If he wants to wear a dress, let him wear a dress,” Deanna scolded with a frown.

Lal squealed with delight and threw her arms around B4′s shoulders. “Oh my gosh! My uncle is getting married in a dress!”

She scrambled for the remote and entered a command into it, so that the hologram changed to elegant, pale colored gowns in the Western Earth style.

“No,” Lore ground out, snatching the remote away. “No goddamn dress.”

Deanna stood up to challenge Lore. “Lore…”

Lore stood his ground as B4′s face fell into his hands. “He wears a dress, and I’m out.”

“Why don’t we let B4 wear a dress for the wedding photos, and for the actual wedding, he wears a gentlemen’s jacket?” She lifted up an extra PADD, which was playing the centuries old music video to Tonight, Tonight, by The Smashing Pumpkins. “I’ve got a theme picked out and everything!”

“What’s the point of that?” Lore bellowed. “All the men are going to be wearing uniforms anyway!”

B4 lifted his head, eyes wet and yellow from tears. “Lore, please.”

Deanna put an arm around B4. “Lore,” she warned.

Lore took the first PADD and held it before him. “Fine,” he said. “Great. You guys get to sit around and pick out dresses, and I get all the shit work. Like invitations.”

“Uncle, don’t worry!” Lal said, chipper as ever. “I’ll pick out your suit.”

“I can’t fuckin’ wait,” Lore muttered.

The bridal party went on with their selections. Everyone worked in silence until Lore groaned loudly.

“Oh no,” he said, holding up the invitations list. “Maddox? B, please don’t invite this asshole.”

B4 looked sad, like a kicked puppy. “But, he’s my friend, Lore.”

“Best man?” He threw a hand up in quizzical disgust. “I thought Deanna was your… maid of honor, or whatever!”

Lal spoke up for her older uncle. “He’s a princess for a day, Lore. He gets to have both.”

“Great, well, what the fuck am I going to do!? Serve drinks?”

“Uncle, you’re walking me down the aisle!”

“But you’re the flower girl!”

B4 sighed, a couple of loose tears falling from his face. He wiped them away with his fingers and looked at the ceiling, waiting for the arguing to stop.

Deanna could feel Lore’s anxiety, and it was then that she decided not to antagonize him further. He was like any concerned family member, who agreed to go along with something that he was opposed to for the sake of his brothers.

“B4,” she said quietly. “You have grown quite close Maddox over the months.”

“Yes, Counselor.”

“Why don’t you have him walk you down the aisle?”

It took B4 a long time to think about an answer.

“But my father is supposed to walk me down the aisle.”

“In the event that the bride’s father is deceased,” Deanna explained, “It’s customary to have a surrogate father or trusted friend hand the bride off to the groom.”

B4 nodded. “Okay.”

She turned to Lore. “See, Lore? Problem solved.”

Lore pretended to be too busy to hear.

The bridal party met in Ten-Forward that night to discuss appearance and wear. Deanna led, while Beverly assisted. B4 mostly nodded and looked, nodding in approval. Lal showed the women her ideas for the decorations, and the three were discussing which dresses of early Twentieth Century America would be most appropriate for a wedding when Maddox arrived, late and unenthusiastic.

B4 went to him. “Bruce!” He gave him a kiss on the cheek, that Maddox seemed confused by. “You came.”

“I…” He looked at the waiting ladies, whose smiles were radiant. It was strange to be welcome in an environment that had previously been so hostile to him.

“Of course I did, B.” He gave the android a reassuring smile. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Lal came up to him with a PADD, as Maddox sat at the bar to order a drink.

“Okay, so,” she said, all business. “The theme is 1920s. Moons, stars, silent film, cut outs, all that. The civilian dress code is–”

“Count me out,” Maddox interrupted. He didn’t even look at the PADD, but drank from the glass the waitress set in front of him. “I’m wearing dress whites.”

Lal’s shoulders sagged, and she returned to Beverly and Deanna.

Maddox thought about it, and then turned to B4. “If that’s okay with you.”

“I’m just happy to be married.”

Maddox swallowed, almost coughing. “Yeah.”

B4 sat next to his friend and tilted his head. “You’re not happy, Bruce.”

He set down his drink. “B4,” he said, examining his fingers around the glass. “Do you understand the concept of marriage?”

B4 went silent for a moment, and Maddox could almost hear his processes whirring as he thought about the question.

“I think so, Bruce.”

Bruce cleared his throat and turned to him. “Tell me about it.”

B4 tilted his head in the opposite direction. “It’s when two people say they want to be together, and they’re happy.”

Bruce moved for his drink.

“It’s also when you have a big party, with cake and dresses, and all your friends and family and the people you love are there with you.”

That’s what Maddox was waiting for. “It’s more than just a party, B.”

B4 did not seem to understand.

“Were you married before, Bruce?”

The question caught him off guard. He opened his mouth to answer, but decided that divulging any information about his failed marriage to a woman who didn’t much care for him to begin with would not help.

“Yes, but that’s not the issue,” he said. “Do you… ugh, God.” He turned his eyes up to the ceiling, as if asking God for help before he was about to say what was on his mind. He took a drink of whiskey and went on.

“Do you love your brother?”

“Of course I do!” The android answered too quickly, with a childlike smile. “Don’t you have brothers and sisters?”

Maddox shuddered deeply. “Look, B, we’re not talking about me.” He swung around in his seat to look B4 in his gold eyes, and took his shoulders in hand. “Do you love your brother enough to be with him forever? Does he love you that way?” He squeezed. “That’s the point of marriage, B.”

B4 looked around again, struggling to understand the two questions and their correlation with each other.

“I think so,” he said, simply.

Maddox sighed heavily, and ordered another drink. When it came, he lifted it towards B4 briefly.

“I wish you all the best then,” he said, before knocking it back and exiting Ten-Forward.

Confused, B4 opted not to follow him, and returned to his bridal party.

“Data, are you sure about this?”

Data didn’t need help donning his dress whites, but Geordi certainly needed help getting into his era-specific clothes. Data was tying his bowtie around his neck with precision as Geordi held his neck up, looking into the mirror beside them.

“Sure about what,” Data asked. He looked at Geordi. “The bowtie?”

Geordi clucked his tongue. “No, no, Data. Marrying B4. I mean…”

Data finished, and Geordi looked in the mirror.

“Isn’t there another way? I mean,” he turned to his friend.

“Do you really want to do this?”

Data was not sure he understood the question, but considered his answer carefully.

“Geordi,” he said calmly. “You are a dear friend. I value and appreciate your concern.” He took a breath before continuing. “B4 is my brother. There are only four of us in existence. I would do anything for any of them to have the best quality of life that is available tot hem.”

Geordi’s mouth formed a line, as he exhaled through his nose and nodded.

“Nothing more needs to be said. Let’s get–”

The door chimed before sliding open, with Lore’s head popping in, adorned with a top hat.

“Hey, what are you two fags doing in here? Blowing each other?” He tore the cigarette butt from his mouth angrily and stomped on it in his shined shoes. He was dressed already–similarly to Geordi–and wearing a particularly rancid frown.

Sighing, Data moved past Lore, exiting his room.

“Lore,” he said as he passed, “Must you be so vile?”

“Don’t you know we have a wedding to go to?” Lore scolded as Geordi pushed past him.

“B4, you’re not nervous, are you?” Deanna was affixing her headpiece into her hair, smoothing her burgandy dress with gloved hands. “I can’t really tell.”

B4 was looking into the mirror. He wasn’t smiling, and had no expression on his face at all, in fact.

“I have butterflies,” he said.

“Oh no, sweetie.” Beverly, dressed in silver as the mother of the bride with a black, netted veil covering her face from her ornate hat, came around to wear B4 was standing. “What’s the matter?”

“I should be wearing a dress,” B4 pouted. “Data will hate it.”

“What makes you say that?”

“In all the pictures I’ve seen, the man wears what I’m wearing.” He looked down at his clean black suit and the buttons on his vest. “And the bride wears a pretty dress.”

Deanna clucked her tongue. “B4, don’t worry about that. That was a long time ago.”

Beverly was about to say that his family didn’t think he’d look good in a dress, but she thought better of it. “Besides, Data will think you look handsome. Won’t he, Deanna?”

“That’s right!”

The door chimed, and Lal hurried in, hardly able to fit through the sliding door with her extravagant dress. She was the most vivid of all of them; more so than the bride, with a feathered headpiece that seemed to ram into anything within two feet of her.

“Sorry I’m late,” she said, with her basket in the crook of her arm, full of white roses. “Keiko’s rosebush had issues and we had to order them one by one.”

“Baby Girl, do I look fat in this?” B4 turned to his side, examining his coat tails.

“Oh, Uncle B, don’t start that! You look fantastic….”

Maddox, in his dress whites–as promised–leaned outside of B4′s door with one foot propped against the wall, trying his hardest to ignore the chatter inside.

Out of nowhere, Lore appeared, leaning next to him, hurriedly reaching into his pocket for something.

Maddox watched as he pulled a pack of cigarettes from his coat pocket and lit a cigarette. He had never met Lore before and found it strange to be in such close proximity to someone who looked identical to both Data and B4, but was so different. So human.

He held out his hand. “May I have one?”

Lore turned to him, looking as if he had only just noticed him there. He gave the man a cigarette and lit it for him.

Side by side, they stood, smoking quietly, until they heard the party giggling and approaching the door.

“Alright,” Lore said, taking the cigarette from his mouth. Maddox did the same, and they both dropped them and stomped them out, almost at the same time.

“Let’s get this over with,” the android said, replacing his hat.

The music–”Lujon,” by Henry Mancini, for some odd reason–played, as Worf escorted Deanna out into the aisle.

Lal had done an excellent job with the decorations. She spent all night replicating patterns of moons and stars, cutting them out, and strategically placing them so that they mimicked their current position. She gave the holographer clear instructions on where and what to photograph, and when.

Deanna smiled as the two peeled off, approaching Data to give him a kiss on the cheek, as he waited alongside Geordi.

Lore and Lal were next, with the latter fussing over her hair and dress until the moment of step off. She hooked arms with her uncle, straightened herself out with her flower basket, and walked down the aisle as if she were the most important person there.

She winked at her father as she passed him. joining Deanna behind the Captain’s podium. Lore blew him a kiss and stood next to Worf, who had obvious trouble hiding his discomfort.

“Drop it, Klingon,” Lore whispered, sighing.

“I can’t!” Worf growled back, almost too loudly.

“Believe me, I’ve tried too,” Lore said.

“Are you ready, B?” Maddox said, preening over his previous charge as their cue approached.

“No.” He grabbed Maddox’s arm. “Bruce,” he said, anxiously. “What if I trip and fall?”

Maddox rolled his eyes and straightened himself up. “Don’t fall.”

“But Bruce,” he said again, pulling back on the human’s arm as he stepped off. “What if–”

“It’s too late for that now, B4,” Maddox whispered quickly. “Now, use your left foot!”

B4 looked down, trying to adjust his top hat at the same time. “Like this?”

“No, your other left!”

B4 panicked, but followed Bruce as the latter tapped his left foot in front of him loudly, and stepped off.

B4′s head swiveled as he looked around at the audience that lined the walkway. Bruce’s head remained straight towards his goal, Data and Geordi, as they made their way forward.

B4 locked eyes with his brother, and his mouth burst into a grin, despite his brother’s intense, stoic stare.

They passed the walkway without incident. As they approached, Geordi squeezed Data’s arm and moved away to stand with Lore and Worf.

B4 remembered to remove his hat as Maddox passed him to his brother; Maddox strategically took it with his other hand, and moved to stand with the rest of the groom’s party.

“Take care of him,” he whispered to Data as he passed.

Data spent a few nanoseconds trying to register the emotion in Maddox’s voice, before the Captain cleared his throat and began his speech.

B4 seemed happy, and excited. He smiled with his teeth as Data held his hands, and Picard delivered his speech–something about the trust of brothers, the felicity in union, so on and so on.

Dr. Crusher came prepared. She reached into her sleeve for a handkerchief and wiped tears away.

Lore wanted to be sick.

“And now,” Picard announced. The entire room tensed up and leaned forward.

“You may kiss your partner. Congratulations.”

Data leaned forward into B4, obviously going for a chaste peck, as the room applauded. Instead, B4 opened his mouth, giving his brother a passionate kiss with his tongue, while the audience began to murmur and claps began to slow.

Lal looked around nervously, before slamming her hands together with fervor, and cheering them on. “Whoo! Yeah!” She said.

It worked. The room followed her with strenuous applause, Data tapping B4′s arm for a full minute to tell him “enough,” before the older android let him go.

The dancing began, and that’s when Worf excused himself to his quarters. No one quite noticed. Ten Forward was full, as nearly the entire crew had decided to join in on the occasion.

Maddox was polite enough to watch the Bride and Groom have their first dance, as well as B4 and his niece, but afterwards, he went immediately to the bar and ordered a drink. When the bartender turned his back to make it for him, he simply reached over, pulled an entire bottle of liquor from behind the counter, and walked over to the large window, staring out at it as he drank slowly.

“Care to dance?” Lore said sarcastically as he walked up behind him. Although he didn’t really know Lore, Maddox seemed to know better than to acknowledge that he was joking, or to respond in jest. He simply laughed and moved over to make space for the android.

“So,” Lore said, lighting two cigarettes. “Why didn’t you marry him?” He handed one cigarette to Maddox, who took it, and then relieved Maddox of the bottle he carried, taking a long swig. “Would have saved us all this trouble.”

Maddox was quiet for a long while.

“I don’t believe in marriage,” he said.

Lore examined him, and took a drag of his cigarette.

“Looks like I’ve found a new friend,” he said more to himself than anyone else.

#exhausted #tags in the morning

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