#» | × | Shane&Hideki || Come Out Of Hiding ; I’m Right Here Beside You || | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nvrcmplt · 8 months

Note

❛ is it that i can’t be here, or that i’m not allowed to be here? ❜ (hideki to shane)

His sandwich tasted like sand the moment he saw them - it was like a plummeting in his gut and the feelings he tried to remove from his mind over time of distancing shot back to the forefront of his mind. It was. . . Painful, to say the least. He wasn't sure though now as he watched Hideki's back at the counter ordering his own drink and meal for the day that Shane felt ashamed. It was, hard to process what he was feeling at that moment, fight or flight - but the want to know how Hideki was affected was holding him still. Blind even in his thoughts as he didn't know he was staring that hard to not notice the man closer than before - peering down at him with that annoyingly handsome face and speaking in words that felt like ice but also --- not.

"…Uh?" Sitting up, eyes blinking away the mental gymnastics, Shane took a moment to gape like a fish before shaking his head, nodding it, stopping and shaking it again. "No, ye--no, no you can do what you want." Shane wasn't… petty? Was he? It wasn't the first break-up, it wasn't even a break-up, they didn't even date for fuck’s sake. A hand moved to cover his face, his sandwich put down and a sigh, heavy with all his blabbering coming to a stop. This place was busy, so he didn't feel like a complete asshole in just pushing out the chair of his table and motioning with his free hand that wasn't covering his face.

"It's a free country." Do what you want, Shane didn't need to add on as he instead moved to gather his phone to thumb through already read messages.

#bclasaeg #» | × | Shane&Hideki || Come Out Of Hiding ; I’m Right Here Beside You ||#« ( Shane ) » Answers.

2 notes · View notes

nvrcmplt · 3 months

Text

「 … replying too … 」 ─ @bclasaeg

The face he didn't want to come across, crumbling and shattering the cold stoicism that had been between them since everything. Shane knew he could never say truly mad at someone, it wasn't in his blood nor mind space to keep that energy up. It was easier to take it on the chin, cry a few times into his pillow, hold his panda bears and just let himself wallow in what ifs and what could have been until he got annoyed at himself and washed his face. He walks with a wall up now, shielded in the heart.

The petty anger of wanting a new physiotherapist to look after his brother's needs was shut off, simply because the waiting lists were long and without end sometimes… that and Noah told him to not fuck over his care because he was in a pissy mood. It was an eye-opener, that he really could have just did that. Just to satisfy that demon on his shoulder… now though, he walked around the hospital with the intention to keep out of sight and mind.

To laugh with the elderly nurses there, to greet old patients he used to work for and with from his own residents at times. He applied to work as agency staff for the place so it worked out well to keep in touch with those he wanted too. His hours were short and sweet, a blast of HCA aid in the halls, making beds, cleaning rooms, adjusting equipment for patients returns from surgeries and the likes. Always a smile on his face, always an energy boost to the sad gloom in some wards.

But now, he was upstairs - wanting just a bit of peace. He felt groggy and out of it a bit, probably all the smoke he inhaled to chat with his friends here but on the roof he knew he could get rid of it all. So, colour him surprised - to see a face he didn't want to come across… but one broken, cracking at the seams - " I can stay, if you want. " It fell out - the sight of them cracked at his flimsy wall. And then the tears fell. Shane didn't even think twice - the empathetic side of him, the sympathy of understanding stress as an outlet, the worrier in his blood that Hideki was hurt, that fear that something's happened in this absence and purposeful avoidance. "Hey H-hideki?!" Hands were without guard to gather the man in his arms, to offer chest for those tears to soak into hoodie covered scrubs.

Sturdy he could provide, a wall and shield to any curious gaze behind but most of all, someone there when he spoke of staying. He offered an ear - a rough day? Bullying from the nurses? DOA PTs? Anything could trigger a solid heart to crumble like this and especially in these buildings, but something in Shane told him that it wasn't that. Hideki wasn't a cold man, just indifferent and hard to really read, to understand when he keeps things to himself so damn easily. "Let it out, I'm here if you want me to stay. I'm here, Hideki." Hands warm and large, rub over the man's back, patting moreso than rocking him like a child, but the intention was there. To provide whatever it is he could give… hoping it won't be rejected like before.

#« ( Shane ) » IC.#» | × | Shane&Hideki || Come Out Of Hiding ; I’m Right Here Beside You ||#bclasaeg

1 note · View note