#[ oh to be able to think about zoya of the garden and not start crying immediately.... ]

[solsoldats]

  @drakoroleva​   𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒕     :       ❛  I lose everyone I love. ❜                   REIGN SENTENCE PROMPTS     ——       accepting   !

No words will ever be enough to encompass the extent of their sorrows.   How does one learn to soften the way that grief presents itself in the body as it grows as a vine laden with thorns around an already bleeding heart ?  Tamar has never learned,  she doubts she ever will.   Her father warned that treating a heart with tenderness would only result in more pain,  and the Keb-Bataar had not made light of his warning.   Despise your heart,  they would remind each other,  both as warning and a promise.   But  ‘ I have no heart ’  only worked to a certain extent,  and it found its bitter end when one made a home among people they could call friends.

To have these people to love and to lose, only knowing them for mere months, is excruciating.  She can’t imagine what it must be like to spend a lifetime with them, to have their lives ripped away so viciously,  and to see it happen over.   And over.      And  over  again.

“ Blood runs easily,  but the ache left in a life’s stead takes time to wash away. ”   There’s no edge to her words,  though softness is absent as well.   She and Zoya have never been those people,  the type to comfort each other with sympathetic words and a fear of fragility.   If they were,  where would that leave them ?   She sighs,   a hand pressing to her axe in a feeble attempt to  ground herself.     “ All we can do is fight to protect those that remain. ”

#drakoroleva #[ oh to be able to think about zoya of the garden and not start crying immediately.... ] #╰ 🌣 𝗜𝗖 : answered ⧽ you find it yourself‚ or you do not . #╰ 🌣 𝗔𝗦𝗞𝗕𝗢𝗫 : answered ⧽ i will pour and pour. #╰ 🌣 𝗢𝗢𝗖 : queue ⧽ like a fist‚ like a knife .

[ariesmode]

Zoyalai!!!! For the ship headcanons thing

who hogs the duvet: zoya, which annoys nikolai to no end in the winter because it’s cold smh 

who texts/rings to check how their day is going: nikolai likes texting zoya about things/people that remind him of her (“hey nazyalensky, i just saw someone wearing an outfit even you wouldn’t be able to pull off” “is that a challenge, lantsov?”) 

who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts: lbr what’s the use of nikolai’s skills if he can’t make gifts for his wife

who gets up first in the morning: zoya used to get up at like the crack of dawn everyday and she’s a light sleeper so its her most of the time. nikolai does get up earlier some days though (still, nightmares are more bearable now that she’s with him)

who suggests new things in bed: ... nikolai has a List™

who cries at movies: both; they just have an unspoken agreement to never, ever bring it up, though zoya does get tempted to say something to him sometimes when she thinks the film isn’t even worth crying over 

who gives unprompted massages: nikolai, but he has to be absolutely sure that zoya is fine with it – so when she’s too tired to say no – or else he risks getting a small electric shock 

who fusses over the other when they’re sick: they’re both guilty of doing this even though they’re very much aware that they both really hate it. zoya just does it with about 200% more cursing and threatening

who gets jealous easiest: nikolai is always, always suffering

who has the most embarrassing taste in music: nikolai has picked up so many songs from all over the world during his sturmhond days and some of his favorites are... questionable???

who collects something unusual: nikolai likes to collect random things that inspire him to invent, or improve on something he’s already made before 

who takes the longest to get ready: since zoya usually just goes for her kefta nikolai takes longer bc he takes a while to pick out his outfit for the day (as Style Icons do) though there are times he goes for the standard first army uniform instead. even then they don’t spend a lot of time getting ready anyway unless there’s a state event – when you’re ravka’s power couple couple the job scope includes looking effortlessly good and meaning it

who is the most tidy and organised: zoya’s workspace is super neat and organized bc she likes being able to reach for letters and folders easily. nikolais is a total Mess but somehow he still manages to find everything; it’s annoying and fascinating at the same time

who gets most excited about the holidays: honestly nikolai loves any excuse to celebrate anything (budget concerns aside lol). modern au!nikolai is the nerd who counts down to christmas once the 1st of november hits; he also loves dressing up for halloween ( “zoya, this year we should go as–” “no.” he always gets his way in the end though.) 

who is the big spoon/little spoon: zoya was never into it before – the great zoya nazyalensky does not cuddle – but she absolutely loves being the little spoon now. don’t tell anyone 

who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports: they’re already extremely competitive individually (okay, maybe zoya just a tiny bit more) but it’s even worse when they’re against each other so watching them play chess is an Event, but the best part is how they both act casual as if winning isn’t a big deal to them. spoiler alert: it actually is

who starts the most arguments: Zoya Nazyalensky’s Legendary Temper™

who suggests that they buy a pet: there was no actual discussion – nikolai just impulsively brought back a puppy one day and zoya was just like wtf where did that even come from (zoya gets a cat in retaliation. also bc she’s just a huge cat person) 

what couple traditions they have: WALTZING AT BALLS!!! nikolai likes taking his wife out for ~*romantic*~ walks in the palace gardens at night just to take a break from working. when they’re apart, like when zoya has to travel and leave nikolai in os alta or vice versa, they write letters to each other everyday. oh and they send passive-aggressive missives to each other when they’re fighting even when they’re in the same room bc they’re THAT petty. peak romance

what tv shows they watch together: nikolai would absolutely, definitely be a HUGE star trek fan so there are days where all they do is marathon a season (zoya also got invested as time passed by, though not as much). he also loves how it’s made! + they like hate-watching reality tv sometimes too. it’s zoya’s guilty pleasure tbh

what other couple they hang out with: tamar/nadia, david/genya

how they spend time together as a couple: running a country together! mornings are their alone time though. they involve lots of snuggling and the sweet kisses nikolai’s been asking for (meanwhile, it took a while for everyone else to get used to the fact that meetings start later)

who made the first move: nikolai was the one who put an end to the years-long romantic tension and misery everyone had to endure though it wasn’t that obvious bc they’ve been acting like a couple for so long anyway until they see the ring on zoya’s finger and promptly freak out (he didn’t want to make a big formal announcement at the beginning bc he wanted some drama) 

who brings flowers home: NIKOLAI, OF COURSE

who is the best cook: look... let’s just say that it’s a good thing they don’t really have to cook 

#wintersmolder #kos #zoyalai