#[ i love ozpin and oscar so much yall. id do anything for them pl ]

[cygnuswheel]

after running away, a young boy stops, stone still. argus is so dreadfully cold. let’s see what he can do to fix that...

“ i like this one. “ oscar says, holding up the jacket to the mirror with a little smile. the colors are a bit new for him, especially with them being in such bold ratios, but that doesn’t mean that it’s a bad thing in his book. “ what do you think? “

there’s no answer.

the boy expects as much, considering the silent treatment that he’s gotten the past few days, but that doesn’t make the way his heart falls any softer. always too loud when no one expects it, always too quiet when everyone expects him. the walk around argus had been so quiet without the constant thrum in the back of his head, small pushes of approval, disapproval, or pure amusement being left to only the static ring of his ears and mind. blinking, he folds the outerwear gently before placing it into his basket for later.

ozpin hasn’t talked to him in days. a few months back, oscar would have found that to be a blessing, a chance for him to finally think for himself and settle on the idea that destiny never looked good on him. that there was no responsibility to be had, only himself, only the farm, only the routine that he had grown used to living with, as much as he wanted to complain about it at times. it would all be numb again, and he could go on living without thinking too hard on what things could have been. he was just a farmhand, a boy. he was normal. 

but it’s too late for that by now, and he knows that. the passing sight of a dark haired man bedridden flies through his mind, the memory still as fresh as newly fallen snow. the child is reminded that his mental company was also just a boy once, one who strived to do what was right from the very beginning. one that was forced to learn that one day, in order to do what was right, he would have to do wrong. the very notion broke this fairytale boy’s heart into pieces until he had to bury it within himself and hide how much he cared about his own actions. living on had been an apology at some point: i’m so sorry that i wasn’t able to stop everything in time, before it was too late.

“ these belts are good. i wouldn’t have to worry about my outfit flying everywhere if it was held down. “ again, he muses aloud, the accessory sitting innocently on his hands. gods, he never had to think about fashion before, aside from how easy it was to move in them for his work. this was the same line of thought, but a bit more... refined. oscar almost laughs. his aunt would be so happy to know that he finally cared a bit about how he looked. he catches the warped reflection of one of his eyes in the belt buckle. with it comes a sigh. 

it’s not just for him, no.

the greens, the reds, the blacks and golds-- it’s a strange amalgamation for him, but he has to realize that these choices aren’t just on his own behalf, as quiet as the world is right now. “ this place really has some fancy stuff. “ some of the price tags had already made him sweat. how could anyone afford this? the amount of lien wasn’t something that he could bring himself to fathom. but still, good gear could only aid combat. ( he would have been lying if he said that he wasn’t cold out of his mind, too. ) it would take some time for him to get used to it, but hey, oscar’s life seemed to be filled with new things lately. this is just another thing to get used to. “ and i’m going to keep talking to you whether you do or don’t reply, you know. “

there’s the smallest shift in his core. a ripple of some emotion... embarrassment? were he not paying attention, the boy wouldn’t have been able to pick up on it at all. talk about tuning into your inner self. the store keeps humming along despite the boy talking to himself, mostly because the overhead music would drown out whatever whispering he’s doing to anyone but himself. anyone but himself and whoever else is stuck in his head with him, that is. finally, something that stopped the static ring. but oz still doesn’t say a word. oscar rolls his eyes and slips some gloves into the basket. 

this is going to cost his entire life savings at this rate. he hadn’t wanted to tap into them when travelling to mistral, but that was because he was still somewhat in denial at that point. the trip wouldn’t be that long, he told himself as he settled into the train seat and stared out the window. he would have been back before he knew it, and life would have gone back to normal. a glance at his surroundings. yeah, that really panned out exactly how he expected it to, huh. but even back then, he knew that this would be something different, something more magnificent than his naive imagination could have ever conceptualized back then.

( a clash, a scream, a silent apology. he remembers the girl’s first cries so clearly that he still hears it when he closes his eyes. ‘ i don’t have one. ‘ the defeated king says with his head held low, and all oscar can feel is how cold his hands are as the world around them falls apart. ) 

reality was always going to be confusing. it would always come to hurt him more than he expected and rip him away from any fantasies that he had previously. the fairy tales themselves are tainted, and so is his view of everything that he’s ever grown to believe. what a horrid fate for a boy of fourteen years. and what an awful reality that a man of many millennia had come to accept as his new normal after countless failed attempts at trying to forget why he had come back to the land of the living in the first place.

even without the other speaking, oscar knows that ozpin is not one that appreciates pity. the very gesture of it is lower and more pathetic than anything that he could accept, and, in a way, the boy can understand that. to have someone feel bad for you, you, when all they should have been doing was worrying about themselves... it’s not something unfamiliar. maybe that was to be expected, being the wallflower that he had grown up as. for someone to acknowledge all of the wrongs of your life means that you would need to regard yourself as a person worthy of being regarded as human. and ozpin had thrown away that right so long ago when he finally came to accept his mission. so why, oh why, the headmaster asks silently with a certain feeling of wryness that the boy feels in his blood, was oscar pine, his current cursed vessel, feeling bad for him?

“ i’d tell you to shut up, but you’re being smart with me. “ a scoff. he feels the impression of his headmate raising a brow. “ if you weren’t so busy moping, you’d already know. “ fitting room, fitting room... ah. there. “ i thought you were better at the whole mind reading thing compared to me. whenever i try for you i just get a montage of you drinking hot cocoa and looking at your scroll. “ that i can’t read for some reason, he almost adds, but opts against it in favor of sneaking into one of the last available rooms. he’s losing oz’s presence, it feels like a dying wick on its last legs. the man is tired, but so is oscar. and the kid will be damned if the other leaves before saying what he needs to say. “ ... you’ve made a lot of mistakes. “

“ actually, you’re pretty awful. “ oscar mumbles to himself as he takes off his shirt, slipping on the new one. it feels way too new, he’s only worn hand me downs for the last five years or so. but it’s comfortable, in its own way. he’ll get used to it. the stained and worn shirt that he had grown to love is folded neatly and left on the bench. “ i think if we were face to face, the first thing i’d do is kick you where it hurts. “ 

“ but i’m not mad, and it’s not because of your ‘ i can stay calm during anything and everything ‘ attitude. “ the finality of the tone startles even himself, and no doubt shocks his company. “ life sucks, the gods suck, and immortality sucks, no matter what form it comes in. that’s what jinn taught us, remember? “ no response. typical. oscar’s eyebrows narrow, and he readjusts one of his belts. a pause. he takes a breath.

“ jaune’s nephew is really cute. “

surprise. confusion. curiosity. this wasn’t what either of them expected to bring up, apparently. “ i was looking at him the whole time we were at the cotta-arc house. he has a good family. “ clothing himself is so exhausting. oscar lets his arms drop to his sides for a  moment. ( he won’t acknowledge that trying to start up a conversation for the past two hours or so was starting to wear at his stamina. ) “ it reminded me of that one family you had. when you started to try again. “ their smiles are so bright and loving. the wife’s expression is filled with such warmth. 

“ maybe the world is big. maybe it’s hard to protect. “ he continues on, pressing, pushing, trying. “ maybe trying can feel pointless after some time, and maybe people can be difficult and hard to help after all of your effort. “ oz’s eyes are wandering, trying to avoid the conversation. but oscar won’t let him. he holds the other’s shame in his hands and grips it firmly. “ but having a future is important. being able to appreciate the small things is important. “

“ i want to make sure that people still have a future, even if the world is against them. “ the boy is patting himself down now, brushing off any dust specks that he can catch in his sight. “ and i don’t want it to be based on lies this time. “ yang’s eyes still burn so brightly in his memory. he remembers the shock on weiss’ face, the absolute hopelessness on blake’s. ruby had never looked so hurt before. and qrow... the headmaster scowls. he never wanted them to hurt that badly. he didn’t want to destroy everything that they had been working for. he would have been content holding everything on his own shoulders until the end of time, because he had felt how many lifetimes the truth had ruined. a single one would never be enough time to despair. 

“ they’re stronger than you think. “ he retorts, putting a hand to his own chest. he remembers how scared he used to be, how terrified he was at the thought of everything going wrong. “ they want the next generation to grow up happy, like you do. don’t forget how much you care. you just... “ oscar trails off. the entity is quiet, waiting. for once, he wants to listen. “ you just don’t have to care alone anymore. “ 

hm.

he’s done. turning around, oscar finally looks at himself in the mirror. gods, he looks like a completely different person. months ago, he would have never been able to imagine himself in this position, looking this fancy. he can feel in the back of his head that someone else is looking on too, admiring the thread-work, and while his approval is silent as can be, it speaks volumes. they’ve both changed so much over the months. “ well. ready to fake it till i make it. “

the other still doesn’t know how to respond to all of this. to oscar’s newlyfound sense of maturity, to the kindness and acceptance that he had offered to his own plague. it’s a warmth that he had never thought to offer himself in centuries, wretched imitation of humanity that he was. for once he felt... accepted. normal. even though nothing about this situation was normal. if the one person he had wronged the most in this scenario was willing to believe in his goals, then were his constant efforts to face in the inevitable not for naught? maybe.

maybe things would end up okay, if he was working with someone like oscar.

“ now. “

“ i took all this time trying to find something that we’d both like. “ ozpin doesn’t like the smirk that’s starting to grow on the boy’s lips. “ so give me your bank account info or i’ll walk out of this room naked. “

a snort, and then a laugh. but it’s not his own, no. ugh, finally. the boy lets the smile grow more freely across his face as his eyes narrow in pride and satisfaction. as he takes out his scroll, he can hear the slightest whisper in his mind that guides his fingertips...

#oscar pine #professor ozpin #ozpin #rwby #( two souls. ) #[ this is just word vomit i haven't written a fic in years so im sorry if this looks weird! ] #[ i just had a lot of feelings and needed to get it out ] #[ i love ozpin and oscar so much yall. id do anything for them pl ]