#<--- i guess that'll be my tag for posts when i talk about something random

[thecobblerofpeaches]

just sayin

#if i were to draw this #i dont think i would make either of them happy like ken lol #or maybe for comedy's sake make bob/cavis smug since he's the troublemaker in star of christmas #bob x larry isn't my go-to ship. HOWEVER i don't mind it :) #veggietales #tcop's tangents #<--- i guess that'll be my tag for posts when i talk about something random

[22degreehalo]

eugh and I am STILL struggling with what to do with fandoms on this tumblr

I know that everyone reblogs that post about how if your moot changes fandoms that's a-okay and you'll either accept or block this new spamming of some random character you've never heard of before. But I can't help feeling a bit bad about it.

TBH secretly, and I feel rly bad about it, but... I actually don't like it when people spam stuff I don't know anything about on tumblr. (Or reblogging the same post 5 times. Sorry.) It's just... empty clutter on my dash, which I too often use as a sorta dopamine IV for if I'm in desperate need of brain stimulation. (Not as much as I used to but still.)

But maybe that's just because I'm too hesitant to block tags. I'm finally starting to block fandom tags now and like at first I felt really bad like 'of all the fandoms you chose to block, that one?!' but now that I've done a few it's easier. It's not that I hate to see it it's just it interrupts my dashboard's flow.

But also just. I really do think that compared to most people the fandoms I go between tend to vary REALLY widely. Most people will go from e.g. fantasy video game fandom 1 to fantasy video game fandom 2 or whatever and there's a good chance fans of one will like the latter. And I know this sounds very 'I'm so quirky lolz' but just. objectively. I am pretty sure that Star Trek TOS -> Homestuck -> Little Busters! -> Supernatural -> American Revolution RPF -> Ensemble Stars! -> Fire Emblem (especially Genealogy of the Holy War) is. an unusual list of Main Fandoms.

And partly that is my brain's inherent craving for novelty. I *need* a certain level of Different Things, vaguely defined. Which explains why I tend to gravitate towards fandoms with a lot of different quirky characters (like Homestuck, Ensemble Stars! etc.) or Visual Novels, where each route registers as a Different Story in my brain so it's like I get five Different Things for one.

So I'll have, like. ONE fantasy game I play. But then I need to mix it up with other really different things. So I can get a multitude of vibes. Same thing with my fanfic: I'm constantly trying new things, and can't really get motivated to write something unless I feel like I couldn't easily read it somewhere (thus my total lack of creative motivation while I was into Supernatural).

Anyway the point of it is. I'm just too aware that my followers are real people, who presumably followed me for something they enjoy seeing on their dash. Probably just agreeing with my opinions in general. And in general I like to reblog things that I think people will. Like. Not in a 'This'll Do Numbers' way but in a 'I like contributing positively to a community' sort of way I guess.

But it's also a matter of post type. I mind much less when people write heaps of text posts or whatever about their stuff; sometimes it's fun to see analyses even of things I know nothing about, and I can feel their passion shining through. It's much more cluttery when people do heaps of e.g. fanart reblogs without commentary.

But then that's what sends me into stasis whenever I see a post I like and want to reblog but I feel like I have to Write Something Good Enough in the tags. Which is an inherently very very silly idea I know lmao. But it was honestly a bit freeing several months (years????? timye.) ago when I allowed myself to just hit reblog with no tags at all.

IDK like look I want to just be free and make my blog filled with nice things that I like but just like with masking I can't divorce myself from the context that these are things I'm sharing with real people. And maybe it's just a loneliness in me that because my tastes are so absurdly specific and radically Different it's hard to find other people who'll really relate to more than one or two of them.

Anyway thanks for coming to my TED Talk, this one's called 'thoughts about this blog I've had variously for the last five years or so which is funny because at some point that'll be more than half the life of my presence on tumblr lmao'

#part of me wants someone to just tell me to reblog whatever #but part of me thinks that's sad #like they don't Care about what I reblog #and it was silly of me to think they wanted anything from me #I'm dumb!!! I'm so dumb!!!!!!!!!!!!! #long post