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corrodedcoffins-blog · 15 days

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Second Chances

masterlist

note: this fic started cause i was listening to 'tattoos' by renee rapp and thought of trevor

warnings: angst with a bittersweet ending, smut, fingering, fem receiving!oral, p in v, unprotected sex (be safe!)

word count: 7.1 k

♡ summary: Reader giving Trevor another chance, after his already second chance and a complicated history. Right on the cusp of releasing her debut album

♡ Trevor Zegras x Hughes!reader

request ✗

yn_hughes

liked by elblue_06, jackhughes, and others

yn_hughes: thought it was about time to get this off my chest...

my album 'second chances' is out October 14!!! pre-order now, my loves <3

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jackhughes: so proud!!! (i hate casual and i wish i never heard it)

lhughes_06: and bad idea right...

quinnhughes: don't remind me

yn_hughes: be nice to me!!

jackhughes: god forbid we don't want to listen to songs about you hooking up with someone

lhughes_06: he was so close to typing a name there, i watched

quinnfebrey.nothughes: all this means to me is we're getting some horny bops!

lukeypookie: don't tell my mom?!?!! what?!?? 😭

quinnhughes: so proud of my little sister ❤️❤️

yn_hughes: thx q 😭😭😭

taybrina.stan: I Hate Boston being the only one with caps????

lhughes_06: ig i have to say im proud of you too or i'll look like a bad bro

yn_hughes: cause this doesn't make you look like a bad bro at all 🖕

iloveyn.besthughes: i love that y/n has some of the strongest hockey blood running through her veins yet she becomes a musical theatre nerd

yn_ismygirl: releasing the album on the duck's first official home game of the year... my girl's not subtle

iworkhardonusernamesgivemethisone: 'now that we don't talk' is gonna be pettyyyy

elblue_06: Love you honey!!! So proud of how for you've come!

yn_hughes: love you too mom ❤️

i.couldnt.be.more.wrong: stranger sounds SAD

edwards.73: this mean i have a chance now?

lhughes_06: when did you ever????

yn_hughes: 😉

lhughes_06: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?????????

iloveknitting: i don't wanna listen to I Hate Boston i know im gonna hate trevor after...

lizhere.idoloveknitting: am i the only one excited for girl i've always been???!!!

markestapa: plot twist skinny dipping is about me

yn_hughes: shhhh 🤫

lhughes_06: im over the whole you flirting with my friends thing, move onto jacks

yn_hughes: been there, done that

cole22.unoriginal: "been there, done that" is crazyyyy

cheifs_87: i just know i'm gonna relate to i should hate you a little too much

ishouldhatethem: same...

2017

The chilly summer breeze brushed the girl’s legs, causing her to wrap her cardigan tighten around herself. Readjusting her footing on the roof, she sat down, looking over at the large group of boys around the fire, she could smell it from here; the fire not the boys.

She looked along the roofs of the neighbouring houses and wondered if they ever went on their roofs. Could they see her now from where she could see them sitting around their picnic table in their backyard? She went through the possibilities in her head, what would happen if they could, what she would do if she knew for sure they couldn’t see. But her thoughts were soon interrupted by the shuffling of another person getting on the roof, she turned her head to meet the eyes of Trevor.

Trevor was her twin brother’s best friend and teammate, and though Jack never explicitly said they couldn’t date and would act overly grossed out when Trevor flirted with the girl, she felt like she was in some way betraying him for the thoughts she had, quite often, about Trevor. He had some sort of power over her, like he just took the logic clean out of her head.

“Hey- um Cole asked where you were, so I came looking for you.”

It disappointed her more than it should that it was Cole who alerted him of her absence and not the boy simply missing her, or noticed she didn’t add her usual commentary.

“Oh well, you found me.”

That was embarrassing. Who even says that if they’re not in a book or movie? But obviously Trevor didn’t find her response that awkward since he sat down next to her. But the awkwardness quickly found her again at the situation of sitting next to the boy she really liked when she couldn’t think of anything to say. Her brain was completely blank. But Trevor, as he often did, cut the awkwardness that was in the air.

“So why are you up here?” He said, his hands rested on his bent knees as he looked up at the stars in the sky that night.

“I don’t know, just.. Didn’t feel like it tonight.”

It was silent again. Was he offended? Felt like what she said was a hint for him to leave? Because it definitely didn’t want him to leave, she would never forgive herself if she messed this up now.

What she didn’t know was that a completely different, yet very similar, anxiety was eating away at the boy’s thoughts. Come on. Do it! This is a perfect chance! You’re alone, and the stars are out, and her face is lit up beautifully by the campfire that was down in the yard. It was romantic. And he would never forgive himself if he missed this up now.

“Well, I’m happy that you didn’t.” And he messed it up.

He was happy she didn’t feel up to hanging out with them tonight? Did he hate her company that much that the prospect of seeing her even in a group setting was a nightmare?

“That- that came out so wrong! That’s not what I meant at all, really! I meant that I’m glad I found you up here. Where we’re alone, and that means I can do this.”

Looking into her eyes he began leaning forward, he gave her a look as if to ask if it was okay, she nodded and let him join their lips. His soft lips against hers, if she wasn’t on a roof and at a risk of falling she thinks she would have completely melted into him. Keeping her feet planted firmly, the girl brought her hands to Trevor’s neck after he wrapped his arms around her waist.

Now she’s had her fair share of kisses before, but nothing quite like this. She felt light, like she could float up to the sky at any second. But more importantly she felt safe. She couldn’t imagine a time she wouldn’t feel completely safe and warm and happy with Trevor.

They broke away from the kiss after a moment, though they didn’t go far, their foreheads rested against the others. His hands rubbed up and down her back under the cardigan, his hand stalling and the strip of skin between her jean shorts and crop top met, but only for a moment before it went back to the up and down motions. Her hands were busy with their own movements around his neck, down to his collarbone, and grasping his shoulders.

Trevor finally broke apart the moment of silence, “This mean we can do that more often?”

If it wasn’t for his winning smile, she would have had a better chance at the stoic face she was trying to put on. But Trevor did have a winning smile, one that always caused her to also smile.

“I want to take you on a date.” She may have kissed her fair share of guys, but she’d never been on a real date. One where she got asked, and got picked, and dropped off with a goodnight kiss at her front door. Where she would then tell her mom every second of it over ice cream on the back deck. She wanted that. She wanted it with Trevor. She couldn’t imagine her first real date with only one but Trevor.

“Okay, I’m sure I can clear my schedule.” “So glad you’ll clear your busy, busy schedule for me. It’s an honour.” “It should be! I don’t do that for just anyone!”

They ended up staying up there the remainder of the night, well at least until she heard Jack calling their names. Sharing soft kisses between their laughter. Trevor was definitely not just anyone to her. And she doesn’t think he ever will be.

2019

Driving in her car, she was coming from where she was living currently in New York to Boston. She liked Boston. It had a charm about it, and she was there to visit her boyfriend, Trevor, though these days ‘boyfriend’ seemed like a loose term. They don’t talk like they used to, it’s really both of their faults, they’re both busy. Trevor is university in Boston, focusing on Hockey and working hard to get to the NHL next year, and Y/n is working harder than ever after getting casted as Regina George in Mean Girls the musical on broadway.

But these days it felt as though she was the only one putting in effort, it was always her calling him, and her driving to him, never the other way around. It’s felt like forever since she’s gotten a call from him. Which is why she was going to Boston now, wanting to clear the air and get them back to how they used to be. She was so naive.

She knocks on the door to Trevor’s dorm, and before she can knock for the second time the door swings open, her boyfriend standing with a smile on his face and his arms open wide for a hug. His arms wrapped around her waist, back where they belong, and her's come to link behind his head at the nape of the boy’s neck. Their faces in each other’s neck, both taking in the soft scent of each other, ones they’ve missed deeply.

“Hi.” “Hi.” They whispered, if their lips were anywhere except brushing each other’s ears there would be no way they could hear each other. Trevor swayed them back and forth slightly before he gave her body one more big squeeze and let go.

It was perfect, it was heaven. So perfect Y/n almost forgot that they even had problems in the first place. That’s how it always was with Trevor though, he wasn’t good at long distance, he never put in the extra work long distance needed.

It wasn’t until a couple hours later, after Y/n and Trevor had caught up and gotten settled on his bed together. Y/n’s head rested on his chest, she couldn’t only hear but feel his heart beat. It was domestic and safe. That’s why it hurt her own heart to have to bring up what she had to bring up.

“Trev?” “Yeah?” “I wanted to talk about something, but I don’t want you to get mad.” “I won’t. I promise.” He promised.

So there they were. Why did they always end up like this? Screaming at each other. Neither wanted to be doing this, so why did they always do it?

“I never said it was your fault!” “Really?! ‘Cause that’s basically what you said!” “Don’t put words in my mouth!”

Trevor was pacing back and forth in front of his dorm door, while Y/n sat on the edge of the bed they were previously cuddled in. Her head in her hands, yelling at Trevor while her voice projected to the carpeted floor.

“You said I wasn’t putting effort in our relationship?! In case you haven’t noticed, I have my own life! I’m busy! With hockey! With classes! And wasn’t it me that asked you to come here this weekend?!”

She picked her head up, now getting heated, “Oh yeah, when I called you! Then I drove up here! To see you!” “What does it matter who called who?! And who drove where?!” “Because it’s always me!” “It’s not always you.” “Have you seen my apartment, Trevor? Not just on facetime?!... No! You haven’t!”

After a couple more back and forth points, both defending themselves and blaming each other without listening back. Y/n was now sitting criss cross on Trevor’s bed while the boy sat in his desk chair. The pizza they had ordered was sitting next to her on the bed, half eaten.

“Trevor, I haven’t even met your new friends-” “They’re not important.” “But shouldn’t you want me too? God forbid you’re not the centre of attention.. And you don’t- You used to tell me you loved me five times a day, sometimes more.. You don’t do that anymore.” “I’m busier now.” “Busier than when you were on team USA?!”

That shut him up. His head dropped to his hands, elbows rested on his knees. Licking his lips he picked up his head again to look at the girl, the sadness was written all over his face, they both knew what was coming. After a moment the words they’ve both been thinking for the past hour were spoken into existence.

“Maybe we should break up…”

After a minute she dared to look at the boy, his head was back in his hands, looking at the floor, his hair flopped over his face to hide the tears she knew were there. A small puddle from the splashes was her give away, that and the fact that no matter what she will always know Trevor better than anyone.

And she knew that walking out was what Trevor needed, they could talk another time. But Trevor, and herself, needed time to think.

Getting into her car, she stared at the car that was parked in front of her. Staring at herself in the reflection was the only reason she knew she was crying, the glimmer of the tears fell down her cheeks, they tickled slightly when they reached her neck. Her head fell against the wheel, it was like she lacked the strength to hold it up any longer.

Rifling through her purse she finally felt the soft case on her phone, opening it to her contacts she started scrolling till she saw her mom’s contact with a red heart next to it. Just as she was about to press down on the phone, she stopped herself.

She couldn’t call her mom, one because it was far too late, though that’s never stopped her before and her mother always picked up. But the real reason, reason two was that her mom was dealing with far too much right now, dealing with only having one baby at home, Luke, and the weight of knowing Jack was having a terrible rookie year. She couldn’t give the woman more to add to her plate.

It’s always been that her problems were her mom’s problems, her scars are her mom’s scars. But right now, she would rather her mom think that she’s fine while she was hurting more than ever, than make this another thing to keep her up at night. She didn’t need that, and after what she’s done for the girl, she didn’t deserve that.

So she drove. Where? She had no clue. She just drove, thinking about what she could have done differently, what Trevor should have done differently. There were so many things he should have said. But those were things he’d never get to say to her.

She finally stopped at an empty parking lot. The girl was meant to be sleeping at Trevor’s dorm tonight, so she supposed she had to set up camp. Thank god she had a couple blankets and pillows in the back. Getting out she set up a place to sleep in the back of her car. Now left with her phone and her thoughts.

Opening the notes app she got to writing. Writing songs was always something she did when she had to work through her emotions. Yet all she seemed to be able to write was, ‘I hate Boston’. It wasn’t Boston’s fault, but with how she was feeling now she would always remember this place as where she got her heart broken.

2021

“Mom, seriously I’m fine with this.”

Of course she wasn’t fine with this, Trevor is now living full time an hour away from her. And obviously she knew this was going to happen eventually, so she should have known better, but that’s besides the point.

“You know I worry about you.” “I know, but I’m fine, mom.”

Ellen was calling her everyday to check in, she knew her daughter was hurting, she could hear it in the girl’s tone, no matter how many ‘I’m fine’s and ‘don’t worry about me’s she knew. Y/n naively thought she was fooling the woman, she didn’t want to worry her mom over the pain she was feeling from a guy she broke up with two years ago.

“Okay. I love you, honey.” “I love you too, mom”

In her mind, what Ellen didn’t know couldn’t hurt her.

She was so fucked up. Out with her friends in LA, going into bar after bar, she needed to clear her thoughts, which worked as she couldn’t hear them anymore. Which is probably why she ended up texting Trevor whom she hasn’t talked to since the summer a couple months ago. After she put her phone on the table she quickly picked it up again at the sound of her ringtone.

“Hey Trevor!” “Hi. Did you mean to send that text to me?” “I don’t remember what did it say?” “From what I can make out it says, ‘hey can I come over?’ though most of it was spelt extremely wrong and that’s coming from me.”

It was like old times, no awkwardness, that was the nice thing about Trevor he always knew how to get the awkward tension from the air.

“Yeah, that was the one I meant to send to you.” She also texted Luke, saying how much she missed him, she would hate it if she accidently sent that one to him.

“You wanna see me?” “Yeah!” “For what?”

They both knew what she wanted to come over for, but better be safe than sorry.

“You know.” After a moment of silence, he responds, “Okay” and sends over his new address.

Not wanting to track down her friends, she left, texting them in the uber that she left and was going to sleep, it technically wasn’t a lie she was going to sleep, eventually, but she couldn’t tell them she was going to see Trevor because they would try to stop her. She was drinking water in the uber wanting to sober up by the time she got to Trevor’s, and as her head was clearing of the cloudiness the alcohol brought her, she knew it was a bad idea. Of course it was a bad idea. Hooking up with an ex is like rule 101 of breakup etiquette. And that she probably shouldn’t, but… Fuck it, it’s fine.

The man buzzed her into his apartment building, she made her way up to the second floor, and all the way to his door she couldn’t help but think this was a bad idea, it could only end badly. But what if it didn’t? What if it ended good, really good?

She only knocked on the door once before it opened to show the smiling boy. God, when she looked at him, all the thoughts of this ending badly left. He looked good, he looked hot, she’s sure she’s seen better but in that moment, who cared?

She pushed him in the door, shutting it behind her and let Trevor push her up against it. She couldn’t hear her thoughts again, no longer drunk of alcohol but drunk of him. His hands travelled south, starting at her waist then over her hips and then stopping at the hem of her skirt, now travelling back up this time under her clothes.

“You’re not still drunk, right?” “No, I had like five waters on the way here.” “Good.”

His hands went to the backs of her thighs, lifting her off the floor, her legs went around his waist and her hands were now more secure on his shoulders to aid him in carrying her. They made their way onto the couch, Trevor laying the girl down on her back before climbing on top, leaving kisses up her body until he met her lips. He paused slightly, was kissing too personal? Yes.

Instead he decided to kiss her neck as his hands made their way to push her skirt up farther and hooking his hands around the waist of her panties, between soft pecks on her neck and chest, he asked, “You’re sure.” “God, Trevor, would I have gotten in an hour long uber ride if I wasn’t sure?” “Just have to make sure.” Thinking that was enough, the girl waited to feel his lips back on her and his hands back to their movements, and when she felt no such thing, she opened her eyes to look at the boy that was already looking back. He had a teasing smirk on his face and a look on his face as if to say, ‘go on’. She knew what he wanted so she did it, if she wasn’t this eager she would have teased him back but alas, “Yes.” “Good girl.”

After getting her panties off and out of his way, the man brought his hand back up to her cunt, he left feather light touches around her hole, teasingly inserting the very tip on his middle finger only to leave her empty again after a second. He brought his finger to his mouth, wetting it with his spit before going back to her cunt and rubbing a tight circles on her clit. The weight of his fingers caused the sensation to run from the tips of her toes to a feeling deep in her stomach.

“Ohh, Trev, please.”

His unoccupied hand nudged the hem of her shirt off as a sign to take it off, which she did, he then slipped his hand under her back to the clasp of her bra, slipping it off and throwing it onto the coffee table next to them. Now playing not-so-gently with her nipples, rubbing the hardened buds between his index finger and thumb while tugging slightly. Without concern he inserts two fingers, now using his thumb on her clit sporadically. Which caused the girl to moan his name, even louder when his mouth attached to her nipple.

“Trevo-ohh, more- please more!”

Slipping his fingers out of her and bringing them to his mouth, he tasted the tanginess of the girl, something he missed. After cleaning his fingers off her precum he took off his own shirt, finally levelling out the clothes-to-bare skin ratio that till he started unbuckling his pants wasn’t fair.

After getting his pants and boxers out of the way, Trevor rubs the head of his cock up and down the girl’s wet folds, gathering her precum to help him slip in easier. Without warning the man thrusted into his girl’s cunt, “Ooh, baby, still feel so fucking good.” If she wasn’t completely thoughtless from his dick being inside her she would have definitely overthought the man’s use of the pet name, she’ll overthink later.

Getting himself into a perfect pace for them both Trevor brought his lips down to her neck again, suckling and leaving lingering kisses to her sweet spot, finding it effortlessly even after all these years. It was like nothing had changed. Later on the ride home she would realise that in fact everything had changed.

“Trev, I’m gonna-ahh” “Me too. Let go, baby.”

He hit a new spot deep inside her when he brought her knee up to the girl’s shoulder, he could feel the girl squeeze around him. And after a few more thrusts he felt the gush of her cum dripping out of her and around him. He tried his best to last longer to elongate her orgasm, but from the feeling of her cumming he quickly slipped out and came on the girl’s stomach.

Resting on his knees, head falling back as he caught his breath, he got up walking to the bathroom, he came back clean and wearing his boxers and a warm wet towel. Coming back to her, he kneeled between her legs once again, whipping the warm wet hand towel through her folds to clean the girl up.

“Ahh” “Sorry, baby, I’ll try to be gentle.”

He continued to clean her off, slipping her panties back on her when he’s done. He also helped her slip on her shirt, both forgot about her bra, but truthfully she didn’t even want to think about putting it back on in her tired state.

“We should do this again.” He joked to break the awkwardness of hooking up with your ex.

“You know we don’t work, Trev.” “No I mean.. Just this.”

So they did. And at first it was good for a while. They agreed it was casual, that there would be no attachments. They met in some random parking lot because Trevor’s roommate was home, Trevor’s head between her legs. Licking between her wet folds to clean off her cum. When he had gotten all that he could he sat up and crawled over to his seat, whipping his mouth with his sleeve when he sat back.

“You taste so good, baby.” He said while he leaned over the console to place a kiss on her lips that left an anger bubbling in her chest, how could he say they weren’t together when he would kiss her like that, “Let’s get in the back.”

They both got out of the car, Trevor faster than the girl who was still recovering from her orgasm. He opened the truck, getting in and helping the girl get in after him. Cuddled together like old times, she could almost pretend that there was love. Neither talked, that’s how she liked it at the moment then she could pretend it truly was like old times and they were in love again, and that they would talk about moving in together next season. But they couldn’t. Because they were just casual.

She really did like the idea of being casual and having no attachments at first, but it’s Trevor. She could never be just casual with Trevor. How could they be casual when her favourite clothes lived at his apartment? How could they be casual when Ava called her every time she needed advice from an ‘older sister’? How could they be casual when his mom invited to stay with her in Long Beach while she was there to see Trevor? How was that casual?

Trevor was good to her. He really was. Because in his man brain they were casual. But she couldn’t lie to him anymore. She hadn’t written a song in forever, too afraid of what would spue out of her mind when she picks up her guitar.

“Is this still just casual for you?”

His head turned towards her, like it was slow motion in a movie. He looked at her like he was hurt. Why was he hurt?

“Y/n, we shouldn’t talk about this now-” “If not now then when?!” “Y/n-” “No, really, Trevor. When? When?!”

He brought his knees up to his chest, his head resting in his hands between them. She could see the deep breaths he was taking by the rise and fall of his back, “We said no attachments, baby.”

“It’s us, Trevor! Did you seriously think we wouldn’t have attachments?! I can’t keep doing this-” “What?” “That fact that tomorrow I could wake up and you could decide we’re done! That scares me! The fact that I have no idea if you'll just let me go at any moment!” “You know I wouldn’t do that.” “Do I?! Because, honestly, Trevor, it feels like you’ve never loved me. That you just want sex. And I can’t do that anymore, I want more! And if you really can’t give me that.. Then I have to let you go.”

She couldn’t do it anymore. Acting like this was what she wanted. She didn’t want to pretend he loved her anymore. She honestly doesn’t even know why the silence from him still shocked her. But fuck did it anger her more.

“Talk, Trevor! Talk!” Shaking his head as he starts, “You knew I didn’t want a relationship when this started! So don’t go blaming me for this! I’m just getting my career started, and I can’t have a girl to distract me right now.” “...That’s what I am to you? Just a girl?” “Y/n, c’mon, you know I didn’t-” “No! Don’t back track now! I’m just some girl to you! I’m just some girl you bang on your couch sometimes!”

Getting out of this, she walks to her car in the next space over, reaching for the handle she hears, “I just don’t know you anymore.” The scoff that came from her lips was louder than intended, but at this point she didn’t care, “Bye, Trevor.”

She left that parking lot as fast as possible, blew through a red light to get onto the 405. She couldn’t help but think ‘what if she got in a car crash tonight’ nothing good came from thinking of stuff like that but she often did, and if she did crash tonight, she thinks that she would regret Trevor. It hurts her to think that after all they’ve been through, she regrets him and all the time she spent thinking of him. When he clearly didn’t think of her as much.

She thought about all the things he put in front of her time and time again; hockey, his team, sex, they all seemed to be more important to him. As time went on between them, she could feel her importance to him slip away. From that first night in his new apartment to now, she had fallen far down his list of priorities.

The houses along the road caught her eye, a couple was sitting out on their deck. It reminded her of the night her and Trevor first got together on the roof of the girl’s house, just outside her bedroom window. That felt lifetimes away, she almost forgot her and Trevor ever felt that strongly about each other at the same time. It felt like anything would remind her of Trevor. He was very well acquainted with the back of her head, he’s basically lived there since they were sixteen.

But she should hate him. He didn’t even try to fight for them, both times! She felt stupid, how could she still love a man who clearly didn’t feel love back, lust maybe, but not love. It wasn’t logical, nothing really was with her in regards to Trevor. It was as if he took the logical half of her brain, a power he's had over the girl since a young age. Around him she could only lead with her heart, never her head. And that was the half she desperately needed around him. The half that did hate him, and didn’t want to make excuses and forgive him, because that’s all she wanted to do at that moment.

So she did the only thing that always helped her. She called her mom.

The line only rang a couple times before Ellen picked up, and since she had no idea of the distress her daughter was in she thought this was just like any other of their phone calls, “Hi, honey, how are you?”

As soon as the words passed through the line, the tears in the young girl’s eyes started falling harder, “It’s over.”

Ellen and Y/n always had a special relationship, growing up Y/n didn’t have many friends that were girl’s, the fact that they moved around a lot for the boy’s hockey careers, and she has always had a hard time making friends. She mostly hung around with her brother’s and their friends, who soon became her friends. One good thing that came from that though is the strong relationship she has with her mother.

“Oh, baby, I’m sorry. Do you want to tell me what happened?” On the other line Ellen made her way outside, out of ear shot of anyone else in the house. “I’m alone, hun, get it all off your chest.”

“He never puts me first. I don’t know why I ever thought he could, why I ever thought he could be serious about us. And after all these years, he can’t say he loves me.”

“Maybe, and I know this may not be what you want to hear, but I think it’s what you need to hear. Maybe this is for the best. If a boy can’t put you first, he doesn’t deserve you.”

She thought about that all night, till she fell asleep, but when she woke she thought about it more. Those words repeated in her head for weeks. She kept telling herself that more she gave him, more love, more commitment, he just wanted her less. They didn’t want the same things. Maybe they never would.

And one morning she woke up, and she felt better. The girl still called Ellen everyday. And everyday her mother told her things would get better, and at first she thought this was just a comforting lie a mom has to tell her daughter. But today? Today was the day things started feeling better. It was a weight of her chest.

That day she picked up her guitar. She got it all out, something music always did for her. And it felt nice. So nice.

2023 (summer)

This was the first time Trevor would be at the lake house at the same time as her since the summer of 2021. She had expertly avoided him, spending summers with her friends until she got word from Quinn of Trevor’s schedule. But this year things were different, her best friend is on a trip with her boyfriend in Europe, and even asking very nicely the couple said ‘no’.

And don’t get her wrong, she looked for every other option, but none were there. And she couldn’t just stay home for the summer, she knew her brother’s wouldn’t say anything but it would upset them that she doesn’t come see them during their only time off.

So she was going to see Trevor after years. Well not like it’s been years, they saw each other from time to time at hockey events and whatnot, but it’s been a couple years since they’ve been in the same place for an extended amount of time.

Jack, Luke, and Quinn were outside now, he supposed this would be a good time since they were all there and alone. Most of the other guys were on the other side of the yard playing a casual game of football, but knowing the group it wasn’t casual. He sat down between Jack and Quinn, Luke across from him, he took a quick sip of beer not quite knowing what to say.

“Yes?” Quinn was the one who decided to bite. “Y/n’s coming tomorrow?” “Yeah.” The oldest brother said, harshly, he didn’t know exactly what happened. Y/n would usually go to her friends or their mom about things like that. But that doesn’t mean he hadn’t heard, and seen, his fair share of the lasting effects the break up had on the girl.

Realising where this was going Luke got up, his hands on his knees and he mumbled something only Jack, who was closest to the boy heard, “I’m not dealing with this shit.”

“What about it, Z?” Jack just wanted to get this over with, he knew it was coming, he knew his best friend would ask about the girl before she arrived, but he wished it happened when Quinn wasn’t around, it would save him a headache.

He tried to play it cool, acting like he was just stating a fact to start small talk with no ulterior motives, but they all knew that was a lie. “I just- I was wondering how she is. What she’s up to.” Jack half-expected Quinn to blow his head off at the words, he was always the most protective over their sister. Personally, Jack didn’t care about that, maybe it was because they were the same age, but if he could take care of himself he knew Y/n could. But instead the eldest calmly got up, patted Jack on the back and left without a word.

“Is she good?” “Yeah. She’s good.” “Good.”

Jack didn’t know if he was supposed to say what he was about, but it was already coming out of his mouth when he thought of the consequences, “She’s releasing an album actually.” The boy’s head shot to the side, to look at Jack fully, he only had one question he wanted to ask, Jack didn’t even let the boy get a word in, “Yeah.”

The air in Michigan felt different than in LA, and not just because of the air pollution, Michigan felt like summer. She could feel the change from their usual weather of late winter that slowly seeped to spring then into summer.

Ellen and Jim had picked her up from the airport, which was good because she didn’t have to get an uber but also because she could actually catch up with them without her brother’s interrupting.

“Trevor’s here y’know.” “I know, dad.” “Is that okay?” “I’m happy without him. And I want him to be happy. And I want us to be able to be friendly.” It meant a lot when her father checked in on her, not that he didn’t do it a lot, he did. But right now, she needs it.

The three pulled into the driveway of the lake house, and as soon as they did the girl got out of the car and ran through the house to find everyone. After checking the living room, kitchen, and the den she found the large group of boys outside.

She tackled Luke into a hug, he was closest to her, “Hey, Lukey!” Luke mumbled back since her hug was so tight that his face was shoved into her shoulder, “Hi, Y/n.”

After all the hello’s with her brothers, all very similar to the one she had with Luke, she said hello to her and Jack's friends, Quinn’s friends she’s known as long as she can remember, and Luke’s new College friends, she hadn’t met them yet since she hasn’t been at the lake house. Then of course, after she met someone named Dylan, Trevor caught her line of vision.

And all the work, all the crying, and screaming, and fighting with herself that she made the right decision, all the progress she made, gone. She felt the same as she had the night in the parking lot, and the time in his college dorm. Helpless, helplessly in love with him. Just as she’s always been.

“Hey.” “Hi.”

Both took a deep breath, and it was as if their eyes were glued to each other, they never left. Jack spoke, wanting to give the (ex) couple some privacy, though that didn’t exactly go to plan, “Okay. Um- food in the kitchen.” “Yeah, that sounds good.” The girl said, quickly pulling her sunburn gaze from the boy to make her way back into the house.

“Some history there?” Dylan asked, as he and Luke walked up the steps up to the house.

Y/n successfully avoided Trevor all day, which wasn’t her original plan but after him tearing down all her hard work of getting over him with just a little eye contact and one word, she was scared of what a conversation would do.

So after a long day of not talking about and trying not to think about him, she sat outside her window to think about him. The roof was her favourite place at the lake house, a place she could think.

It was a place that reminded her of Trevor.

How, even after everything, did she love him? After he repeatedly didn’t put her first, didn’t think of how his actions affect her, didn’t want to love her. How did she love him?

She wished they could just strip their history bare and start over. Now that they’re older, they both have careers of their own, maybe it could work this time?

The sound of the bedroom window being pushed further open and shuffling cuts the girl from her thoughts, looking over she sees the very boy that has occupied her thoughts since they were fifteen.

“Hi.” “Hi.”

The boy sat next to her, he left what he thought was an appropriate amount of space between them. Sitting next to her was more nerve racking than he thought, swiping his clammy hands on his knees, Trevor tries to break that awkward tension.

“I heard you’re writing an album.” “I am.” “I’m proud of you. I know that’s what you’ve always wanted.”

Turning her head from where her eyes were previously staring down the horizon in an act to distract her from making eye contact, she looked at him. Took in how he wasn’t looking at her, maybe he was as nervous as her, and his lips that were between his teeth as an anxious tick, his eyes that never stayed in one place for long, he really was beautiful. She’s always thought that.

“Thank you, Trev.”

After a couple too many moments of silence she decides to ask what she’s been waiting to ask, “Where’d you hear that?” “Oh, Jack mentioned it.”

She wishes it was from him asking her brother about her, but realistically Jack probably said something about it to the group and Trevor just remembered. But it didn’t take away from the fact that he remembered that being a singer was always her final goal, and the fact that he was proud of her. He may not know it but that meant the whole world to her.

“I- Y/n… I’m sorry.” Y/n opened her mouth to say she too was sorry, but was cut off by the boy, “No please, I need to talk.” Closing her mouth, she nods a ‘yes’ and lets him continue, “I never should have treated you the way I did, and I’m not just talking about Cali, I’m talking about Boston too. I- You mean so much to me, and I never told you that. And I should have. I should have told you every single day how much I love you and how much you mean to me, no matter if we were in the same bed or across the country, I should’ve told you that everyday.. But I do regret it everyday that I didn’t. That I just let the best, most talented, and smart, and funny, and gorgeous girl in the world go. I was a fucking idiot. I regret that every fucking day.” Trevor can’t help it as he lets small tears fall from his eyes and down his cheek.

“I really did love you. I guess I just- I was really bad at communication, and I was under a lot of pressure with hockey, and that’s no excuse I know! I just what to explain my fucked thought process. I was under pressure and I felt like I couldn’t manage a relationship, but I also felt like I couldn't not have you in my life. And I want you to know, that was never casual. It’s us! Nothing with us is casual.

“And when you broke things off, I’d never and don’t think it’s possible to feel worse than how I did then. I was so fucked that coach sent me to therapy! Which is why I can say all this stuff now.. I just need you to know that, I’ve changed. And even though I don’t deserve it, if you gave me a second chance.. I wouldn’t fuck it up this time.”

Maybe she was fucked, but she believed him. But could she give him a second chance? Or rather, a third chance. After everything he’s done? Could people change? Maybe they could. She never would have pegged Trevor for the therapy type, but he went. She’s gone to therapy, has for years, and it’s helped her. Made her into a better version of herself, maybe it did to Trevor too. But could she take that chance? Risk getting hurt by him again?

Of course she could. It’s Trevor.

“I want to give you another chance. But it’s gonna take a lot more.” “Like what? I’ll do anything.” “If we can be friends this summer, and go to couples therapy when we get to California, and we both try and work hard to make this work. I would.” “Done… I don’t know if this is in the clear for ‘friends’, but I want you to know that I love you.” “I love you too.”

Taylor Swift once said that they’re ‘relationships that are never really done’ that was them. No matter how many years it took, no matter how many chances, and wrong timings they had, their narrative will never truly be over.

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