#< guy who has delusions that all of his friends secretly hate him bc he's too insane abt xyz media and who feels alone bc no one else is as

[kkujo]

something i don't see people talking about is the way hyperfixations come in like stages and cycles like it's not just "i'm obsessed with this thing" it's like. euphoria from finding something new and it brings you so much joy and then as that initial dopamine rush wears off you start to get more and more down and feel isolated as you start to realise that no one else cares about it as much as you do and you feel silly for being so into it and the thoughts become repetitive and boring so you get more and more depressed and lonely and then you inevitably lose the hyperfix which leaves you drifting feeling miserable and hopeless until you start the cycle again. idk if i explained this well or if other people will understand but it brings genuine phases of euphoria and straight up depression and this is why i get annoyed when neurotypicals use words like hyperfixation to describe like, an interest. bc it's not. just an interest it becomes who you are and when you lose it it's like losing yourself and you spend so much energy thinking about it that it interrupts your daily life and it's so fucking draining 👍

#like if i see one more nt being like hyperfixation this hyperfixation that SHUT UP!! YOU HAVE AN INTEREST #talk to me when you stay up until 6am every night bc you can't fucking sleep bc ur thinking about it. #talk to me when you can't process emotions in a normal healthy way because you can only relate it back to your hyperfix #paired w madd especially it's IMPOSSIBLE to be normal about shit i swear 2 god because the second i'm upset or lonely it's straight back to #immersing myself in another world and being someone else and not facing my emotions instead letting 'someone else' deal with them #not just negative emotions yk it's anything it's fully immersive to the point i end up not knowing exactly who i am myself bc i'm rarely #myself in my head yk #and it's so isolating #and this is why i get mad when people use these terms lightly bc they don't fucking get it #oh you're hyperfixated? oh you're delusional? you're delulu? watch this #< guy who has delusions that all of his friends secretly hate him bc he's too insane abt xyz media and who feels alone bc no one else is as #into it even though it wouldn't be reasonable to expect them to be #like i'm constantly questioning whether all my friends are secretly against me & finding me annoying anytime i talk about it but it's fine #it's so fucking isolating #i'm not losing my hyperfix yet thank god but i am in the stage of like realisation where the initial euphoria has worn off and i'm like #fuck no one else gets it. no one else is thinking about it like i am. and it's so lonely #< like not to sound like 'i'm 14 and no one gets me' or i'm not like other girls or whatever 😭 #it's not me being dramatic i genuinely. know that no one else is spending every waking moment thinking about the things i am the way i do #and it's so incredibly depressing i can't even explain it in a way that will make sense #because i want to talk about it so fucking bad and i can't. even to my friends and gf who always listen i end up feeling annoying #and then i get genuinely delusional not like tiktok girl voice delulu like i genuinely start questioning my entire reality #just if i talk about something a little too much #bc i'm convinced i'm fucking annoying and no one gets it and they're thinking bad things about me #but i know they wouldn't. but it feels like they are #idk #anyways !

[cosmicmoved]

HELLO AND WELCOME TO A LIST OF FACTS ABOUT TOMO, some useless and some not so useless!! It’s a toss-up, really. Apologies in advance for the length but I didn’t feel like smacking this one under a Read More ): Some of these are from the intro post I wrote for him when I made him for a closed rpg and some of these are newer things I forgot to write down beforehand. Some of this is also referenced in his bio page. I’m not really going to double-check if I’ve repeated myself anywhere so, if I have, sorry about that! But, hopefully, you can learn a little more about Tomo from this! I’m just dumping these all together like this as they’re mostly quick pieces of trivia and posting them all as individual headcanon posts would be a pretty clunky task? If you wanna know anything else about him, always feel free to ask!

Tomo does not take especially well to nicknames unless they’ve been approved by Tomo himself. If you give him a nickname out of the blue, he’ll probably address it directly and tell you he doesn’t like it. So far, approved nicknames are Tomo (of course) and KatsuTomo --- that one’s more of fan-title-nickname rather than one he actually uses but he came up with it himself, tweeting it out like ‘you guys can call me katsutomo from now on if you like ^^’ before changing all his handles to that exact name. Nice.

On the other hand, he does NOT like being called Tomohiko. The only people who call him that are his mum and grandparents. It’s not that he dislikes the name itself but he doesn’t believe it suits him and is much more comfortable with Tomo.

Tomo doesn’t really have any delusions of grandeur in regards to being famous or anything like that. He prefers to detach himself from the concept of fame, even though he can’t really do that and it’s not how it works, and that can cause problems in the long run but it mostly means he’s usually fairly down to Earth. He probably has more famous friends than otherwise but that’s just because they’re in closer proximity. Because Tomo’s a friendly person, he’d probably be willing to befriend most people so long as they’re not shitty-fuck-awful.

He’s not very good at watching himself in films. It depends on the film and he can do it. He will do it. It’s just a bit of a weird experience? But, uhhhh, let’s just say he once watched the one horror film he was in at the cinema (and didn’t like most of it bc he hates horror films) but he laughed during his own death scene. There were tears in his eyes. Real tears.

He’s scared of bugs and ghosts. (for reference, i have had him join a conversation (in an ic groupchat) by making jokes about the place everyone was staying was haunted btu it turned back on him when it became clear he actually thought ghosts were scary and then he refused to go to sleep bc he’d convinced himself he was gonna get haunted.....) For the record, he doesn’t dislike ghosts or think they’re bad/evil. He’s just easily spooked!! You could probably tell him his awful long furby was demon and, despite him realistically drawing the line at demons & absolutely telling you you’re an idiot, he’d still get a little upset if you repeated it enough times. Whereas bugs? Definitely evil.

He doesn’t like dating because…well, he likes the IDEA of it but he’s the type to really fall for someone and BASICALLY? He’s scared of being dumped! He’s a bright & appealing personality with just enough edge to balance it out but he’s a bit of an emotional screwball and he feels like getting people interested is easier than keeping them interested, leading to mixed experiences with dating so he’s...kinda...settled for sleeping around a little instead. Oh well, whatever works! (does it actually work? shhhh it’s a secret…)

Like...he’s kind of an emotional wreck. He does his best not to show it on the surface and the whole...being a good actor thing probably helps with that but, beneath the top layers of Sparkly Glam Tomo, shit’s all scrambled up. He doesn’t really know what to make of himself. Acting and having friends present are the only things, he believes, keeping him grounded and together.

I’ve basically said this before but he really likes cute shit. This isn’t really reflected in how he dresses or acts or anything like that; it’s not part of the aesthetic. He just owns a lot of expensive Hello Kitty-branded shit because...it makes him happy?

He owns a kaninchen/rabbit (smaller than miniature) dachshund called Chicken (she looks roughly like this image i snagged off of google). Chicken Katsumura. It’s a terrible pun. He’s not sorry.

His hair is currently bright red. It’s a recent change (so it’s not something he’s known for) but he wanted to make a visual statement and that was that. He likes to go for more interesting colours when he’s not filming anything because it’s the only time he really gets to. I mean, he still has dyed hair in a lot of his films but it’ll usually be brown or blonde or something else more ‘realistic’.

Tomo cares a LOT about the way he dresses and styles himself. He’ll probably complain if he has to do a promo/magazine shoot and he doesn’t like the outfit he’s been given. It doesn’t actually help him half the time and he just gets told to shut up but it’s the PRINCIPLE of it !!!!!!!! 

Tomo is a competent singer. This is because, growing up, his mother made him take singing lessons in the hopes that he might follow in her idol footsteps. He was not in the least bit interested but it was fun enough for him not to complain about it (not that it would’ve helped) and, if nothing else, it helped him get the lead role in school plays. His mum is secretly happy he’s best friends with a popstar because, hey, close enough.

He’s watched his dad’s films. He doesn’t think he was a very good director, he was better at acting, and is kind of mad that he was ignored as a kid in favour of that shite. I can’t say he was a big fan of his dad in general but he can’t really say anything about it since he’s...dead. I’ve said before that he’s always at odds with his mum but he actually does care about her. He can’t stay in a room with her for too long if she starts lecturing him and has hung up on her mid-call many times but he DOES love her a lot. As guilty as he feels about it, he’s not sure he can say the same about his dad.

He hates being asked about his dad in interviews --- he’d rather not be asked about his parents too much in general but going to Japan and being asked about his mother instead was weirdly refreshing for him. He’d rather talk about his mum’s short string of innocent pop hits than a bunch of films he actively dislikes.

When it comes to food, he doesn’t have especially refined tastes. His favourite food is tuna-mayo onigiri from 7-Eleven. Maybe this why he doesn’t judge Minwoo for his pretends-to-be-a-vegetarian-so-ppl-won’t-complain-abt-his-fussy-eating scam.

#« 𝐏𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 (ᴛᴏᴍᴏ) » / 「 headcanon. 」 #i've definitely forgotten important things but i can't be arsed checkiiiiiiiing #so i'll just....deal with that later? #i can always write up a part two to this tbh #i've definitely got more to say abt tomo??? bc i've been working on developing him more than a month now #maybe like a month and a half???