#;swan’s graphicks.

[tybaltsjuliet]

fake disney remakes by year: snow white, 1937

blanche snow has been bringing a smile and a song to a depressed america since she was a child. gracious to a fault and sweet as pie, she’s adored by her audiences, her co-stars, and her studio alike. even the gossip columnist flo prince, whose pen is as a dagger in the hearts of leading players and studio execs everywhere, can’t help but love her.

but there’s one person who doesn’t appreciate seeing blanche’s face beaming out at her from a magazine or a poster: her stepmother, hildy la verne. once upon a time, hildy was the uncontested queen of the silver screen, but the talkies cramped her over-the-top style, and the studios got tired of hushing up her scandals - like the mysterious death of her last husband.

when blanche is cast in a sound remake of one of hildy’s old films, she hits her breaking point. she doesn’t believe blanche when she swears that she tried to talk the studio out of it, and what was once an ordinary dislike of the girl turns into pure poison.

hildy hires the gangster “doc” diamante to get rid of blanche for good, promising a queen’s ransom for getting the job done. but doc and his fellas aren’t nearly as bad as they’d like people to think they are - and they love blanche’s movies. so it’s not difficult for her to come out the other side with seven new bodyguards and a safe place to hide from her stepmother.

meanwhile, blanche’s disappearance has become the talk of hollywood. flo is convinced that hildy was involved, and he’s determined not to let her get away with it... but she’s proving a lot more dangerous than he thought she was.

feat. rachel zegler as blanche snow, freddy carter as flo prince, jessica chastain as hildy la verne, and steve buscemi as “doc” diamante.

#disneyedit #snowwhiteedit #i was thinking about how disney live-action remakes could be creative! and fun! and interesting! if only. #anyway. rights for florian’s deleted scenes and for the italian snow white and her seven robbers. #;dream factory. #;i'm wishing. #;swan’s disney remakes. #;swan’s graphicks.

[tybaltsjuliet]

THE AMERICAN VAMPIRE, 1927.

folks, i'm goin’ down to the st. james infirmary, see my baby there. she's stretched out on a long white table - so sweet, so cold, so fair.

they’ve always preferred to work by night, anyway. just don’t ask what their bootleg liquor is cut with.

#aestheticedit #vampireedit #i actually have a 1920s paranormal thing in progress and it's my fondest wish that when it gets adapted #they can use cab calloway's st. james infirmary as the theme song or trailer song or something #let her go let her go god love her! #;swan’s graphicks. #;the american vampire.

[tybaltsjuliet]

“You’re a nice one,” added Sikes, as he surveyed her with a contemptuous air, “to take up the humane and genteel side! A pretty subject for the child, as you call him, to make a friend of!”

#filmedit #perioddramaedit #musicaledit #oliver! #oliver twist #shani wallis #;celluloid heroes. #;swan’s graphicks. #;oliver! #;oliver twist. #;they who call the whole world brother.

[tybaltsjuliet]

THE AMERICAN VAMPIRE, 1781.

and as you walk through death’s dark veil, the cannon’s thunder can’t prevail and those who hunt thee down will fail.

not american by choice, mind you; they did their part, in blood-red, for the king. but there’s no returning home now, so they may as well see what the colonies have to offer them.

#blood cw #aestheticedit #vampireedit #if you catch me an american army brat letting a colonel tavington vampire bite my neck...that's on me he caught me slipping #i know tim roth in rob roy is a good half century off but let me have this #;swan’s graphicks. #;the american vampire.

[tybaltsjuliet]

fake disney remakes by year: the aristocats, 1970

madame la duchesse de bonfamille has it all: a penthouse in paris, a castle in luxembourg, a wardrobe more expensive than a developing nation’s GDP, and three adorable children who are mostly on their best behavior whenever vogue comes to photograph the world’s most glamorous single mother.

but the lifestyle to which they are accustomed is entirely dependent on the whims of the duchess’s grand-mère adelaide, and nothing reaches adelaide’s ears without first being filtered through her old retainer, edgar. edgar is no fan of the duchess’s joie de vivre, and thinks the family fortune could go to a much better cause, like himself.

the duchess is not an idiot, and therefore not oblivious to edgar’s dislike of her and her family, but it’s always been easy to laugh off the scandalous stories he keeps inventing to feed to adelaide. it’s less funny, though, once he levels up to trying things like actual murder.

(...but still a little funny. he is not very good at it, you see.)

after the attempt on their lives, the duchess and her children end up stranded in the french countryside, and find an unlikely deliverance in the form of the most defeated rock ’n roll tour bus the planet has ever seen. kitty crothers and the alley cats are having their own troubles: it would be a miracle if they could get to montmartre in a week, never mind in time for their show that night. but the band is a good-natured, helpful bunch, and hey, what’s three little kids on a bus that’s already packed?

of course, it also helps that the band’s manager, thomas o’malley, happens to be highly susceptible to the way the duchess’s eyes sparkle like sapphires.

so la famille bonfamille become the alley cats’ honorary roadies, and what ensues is a madcap adventure to make it to paris, get adelaide to see edgar’s true colors, and give the good people of the 18th arrondissement hearing damage for the rest of their lives.

feat. nicola coughlan as the duchess, rhys ifans as thomas o’malley, ralph fiennes as edgar, H.E.R. as kitty crothers, and joan collins as adelaide bonfamille.

#disneyedit #thearistocatsedit #if the actual peril of charade collided with the comedy of how to steal a million you would have this movie. #;disneyedit. #;swan’s disney remakes. #;swan’s graphicks. #;the aristocats.

[tybaltsjuliet]

all this has happened before. an OUAT-inspired re-imagining.

WENDY DARLING.

if i know you at all i know you’ve gone too far so i can’t look at the stars

once upon a time, in neverland...

Wendy knew that the longer they lingered there, the less hope they’d ever have of getting away. But standing on the beach with Tiger Lily, gazing at the sea, she found herself doubting if this was really the best way out. Maybe she should have believed Hook, when he said he could take them back to England. Maybe she never should have left at all. But there was no changing that, now.

John sat in the boat, with Michael in his lap. Their youngest brother had worn himself out at last and was fast asleep, snuggling his persevering teddy bear. The poor animal looked about as beat as Wendy felt. But she couldn’t give into her own exhaustion, not yet. Not until they were home.

When they’d first come to Neverland, Wendy thought she would stay there forever. And Peter thought she would, too. She shuddered and glanced around the beach, half-expecting to see him or his shadow lurking there, ready to drag them back to the Hangman’s Tree. But the only shadows she saw were hers and Tiger Lily’s.

“Thank you for everything,” Wendy said, as Tiger Lily helped her step into the boat.

Tiger Lily squeezed her hand. “Be careful getting out of here. The mermaids shouldn’t give you any trouble, but if they do...”

“I’ll drown them,” Wendy finished, and Tiger Lily grinned.

“That’s the spirit.”

The mermaids had scared Wendy, back when she first came to Neverland. But now she knew there were much worse things dwelling there.

Tiger Lily helped them push away from the shore, and Wendy gripped the oars tightly as they set off. She knew, if she looked back, that she might see the outline of Skull Rock, or a flash of firelight from Tiger Lily’s camp on the plains. But she resisted. If she looked back, she was afraid she’d forget why they were leaving.

“No stars,” John observed glumly.

Wendy glanced up. Thick black storm clouds had rolled in, hiding the stars, and the sliver of the moon, too. “They’ve never helped us before,” she said firmly. “We’ll find our heading without them.”

John’s frown deepened, but he didn’t say anything. Wendy didn’t have the heart to be glad that, for once, he wasn’t bothering to question her.

The further out they got, the darker it grew. Neither of them noticed the shadow that was following them.

now, in storybrooke...

“Hey, Wendybird! David needs you!”

Wendy just about jumped out of her skin as Owen Cabot’s voice rang through the crowded hallway. A few of their classmates snickered, but most of them just rolled their eyes and went back to minding their own business. She hastily slammed her locker shut and made her way to David’s as quickly as she could.

“Found her,” Owen said, with a smug grin, when she got there. David looked profoundly mortified to exist on the same planet as him.

“Owen,” Wendy said sternly. “Don’t you have a rugby field to be terrorizing?”

He laughed and elbowed David affectionately before taking off. “You’re welcome!” he shouted, almost as an afterthought, when he’d gone halfway down the hall.

David winced. “Sorry about that. Um, I just wanted to ask, I mean, I was just thinking. If you wanted to come over tonight, we could get started on that thing for Mallory’s class. If you wanted.”

“I’d like to.” Wendy sighed and gnawed at the inside of her cheek. “But my parents are out of town again, and I don’t want to leave John and Michael by themselves too long...”

“I mean, they can come, too!” he said quickly. “You can all stay for dinner and everything. My folks wouldn’t mind. Really.”

Wendy briefly weighed what would be preferable: another night of trying to dodge the Cabots’ questions about how her parents were doing, or another night of trying to scrounge up something for herself and her brothers on her own. “Okay. Sure.”

“Cool. See you, Wendy.”

With a nervous smile, he disappeared into the crowd. Wendy hoped she’d make it out of the building without further incident, but she had no such luck. Ms. Desjardins’s nose might have been stuck in a book, but that didn’t stop her from honing right in on her as she passed by the library.

“Wendy!” she called. “Can I borrow you real quick?”

Wendy should have pretended that she hadn’t heard. She was very good at pretending. Instead, she bit back a sigh and stepped inside the library.

“I just wanted to say, I loved that story you wrote for the school magazine,” Ms. Desjardins said. “It was really excellent. You have a gift, do you know that?”

As much as she wanted to make her escape, Wendy couldn’t help but smile at that. “Thanks.”

Ms. Desjardins set her book down, and fixed Wendy with a knowing look. “You should read it at the next family night. Your parents will be there, right? I missed them last term.”

Her voice was as friendly and warm as it always was. But Wendy knew that the part she wasn’t saying: And the one before that, and the one before that, and the one before that.

“I hope so,” she said, and that, at least, was not a lie.

But that wasn’t enough for Ms. Desjardins. “They're not still away, are they?” When Wendy didn’t answer, she frowned. “What do they do for a living, again? Your little brother already gave me the circus story.”

“International spies, actually. We’re really not supposed to talk about it.” She laughed weakly, but Ms. Desjardins’s frown deepened. “I’ll make sure they come next time, I promise. Have a good weekend!”

And, before Ms. Desjardins could say anything else, Wendy ducked out of the library and darted away. She hated lying to Ms. Desjardins - and to David’s parents, and to Ms. Mallory, and to everyone else who, she knew, was just trying to look out for them. But she wasn’t about to risk her and her brothers getting split up. Not when their parents would be home any day now.

Any day now, Wendy thought, willing herself to keep believing it. She straightened her shoulders, clutched her books close to her chest, and went to find John and Michael.

#finally starting to get some of this thing written down! #wendy gets the first set because she is thee protagonist :) #inasmuch as OUAT has one of those #i KNOW none of you are gonna believe me but i swear ms. desjardins is not a purposeful carrie reference #i only thought of that after i had settled on that name for [redacted] in storybrooke #but. it is a good reference anyway so it can stay. #;all this has happened before. #;dream factory. #;swan’s graphicks. #;swan’s stories.

[tybaltsjuliet]

and should i die this instant, i had liv'd her time to a minute.

#disneyedit #frozenedit #happy winter! it's Nicky Gets Weird About Frozen season! #;dream factory. #;my heart is returned to sister winter. #;never to touch and never to keep. #;swan’s graphicks.

[tybaltsjuliet]

THE AMERICAN VAMPIRE, 1985.

once upon a time there was light in my life - now there's only love in the dark.

when the sun goes down, the mall is theirs. who needs daylight when you have fluorescents?

#aestheticeedit #vampireedit #this is gonna be a thing now #i'm planning on doing everything in my 'dicey things for your sexy vampire boyfriend to be instead of a confederate' post #but this concept seized me first #;swan’s graphicks. #;the american vampire.

[tybaltsjuliet]

THE AMERICAN VAMPIRE, 1959.

whatcha mean when you say that he came from the wrong side of town?

if you ask these kids what they're rebelling against, you're not gonna like the answer.

#aestheticedit #vampireedit #is this kind of in honor of drew gehling taking over as scrivello in little shop of horrors this month? don't worry about that. #;swan’s graphicks. #;the american vampire.

[tybaltsjuliet]

And with that warming thought, I'll take my leave.

#filmedit #perioddramaedit #romeo and juliet #romeo and juliet 2013 #juliet capulet #tybalt capulet #i rag on this version so much and yet i'm constantly giffing it...curious! #anyway julian fellowes' script still doesn't actually have any rights but this scene lives in my head 24/7 #oh westwick tybalt. 💕doncha know that you're toxic💕 #;celluloid heroes. #;love that falls as fast as a body from the balcony. #;swan’s graphicks. #;they do things differently there. #;you cursed the sun when it stepped to your girl.

[tybaltsjuliet]

#filmedit #wssedit #west side story #west side story 2021 #mike faist #it's the mercutio death drive for me!!! #i try not to cross the streams too much but i need this in my romeo and mercutio tag #;celluloid heroes. #;mike faist. #;swan’s graphicks. #;that dreamers often lie. #;there's a place for us.

[tybaltsjuliet]

let others take the high road; i will take the low.

i cannot wait to rush in where angels fear to go.

#arthuriana #arthurianedit #camelot #mordred #oh...my love-hate relationship with camelot rearing its head as i sit here debating whether i feel like watching it this may day #anyway. my continuing quest for aneurin barnard mordred supremacy goes on. #though i've also been liking manny jacinto lately. sharp edges you know. #blood cw #;all the tales that you remember of camelot. #;swan’s graphicks.

[tybaltsjuliet]

VANITY FAIR (2004)

#filmedit #perioddramaedit #vanity fair #vanity fair (2004) #fun fact. this was the exact moment in my life when i fell in love with rhys ifans. #sitting on the floor of my college dorm room in the fall of 2013 having just finished the book for a class on the english novel. #and having taken it WAY too seriously as an english major is wont to do with their niche 19th century new faves. #i owe mira nair EVERYTHING. #;celluloid heroes. #;swan’s graphicks. #;rhys ifans. #;they do things differently there. #;vanity fair.

[tybaltsjuliet]

You danced and dreamed through the night.

It seemed to be right just being with him!

BELLS ARE RINGING (1960)

#bells are ringing #judy holliday #filmedit #musicaledit #;bells are ringing. #;celluloid heroes. #;judy holliday. #;swan’s graphicks. #;the silver screen dream.

[tybaltsjuliet]

Your brother has something to say to you.

#filmedit #wssedit #west side story #west side story 2021 #david alvarez #ariana debose #i know i said in my last WSS edit i try not to cross the streams but i also cannot live without this in my tybalt tag #;celluloid heroes. #;swan’s graphicks. #;there's a place for us. #;to bitterest gall.

[tybaltsjuliet]

i can’t draw for shit but this meme cracks me up so i wanted to join in the fun. i had a hell of a time deciding which tybalt should be hanging out with ella.

#for “this guy” feel free to read: lady tremaine #steven meme #;swan’s graphicks.