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#+ gay + lazy eye that was the source of a lot of childhood bullying + almost getting run over
beegswaz · 1 year
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ink saying the universe hates me as if i dont already know that 😭😭
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idolizerp · 6 years
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[ LOADING INFORMATION ON OLYMPUS’ MAIN VOCAL JINHWAN…. ]
DETAILS
CURRENT AGE: 26 DEBUT AGE: 18 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 16 SKILL POINTS: 25 VOCAL | 05 DANCE | 00 RAP | 10 PERFORMANCE SECONDARY SKILLS: Lyricism
INTERVIEW
The funny man. The comic relief. His humor falls on the more subtle side of things. You have to pay close attention and thing a little outside of the box to catch his jokes, but they’re there and when they’re understood, they’re a hoot and a half. It’s easy for Jinhwan to fall into this role. He’s good with people, even though people weren’t good with him when he was younger. He loves to make people laugh to cover up the fact that he hasn’t truly laughed in a long time. He can go a little too far though, his jokes falling more so on the crude and inappropriate side of things, which makes him perfect for variety shows. He can go toe-to-toe with the hosts without missing a beat, which has made him quite well known in the variety world. Casanova. Flirty. Those are words that usually come to mind when people speak about Jinhwan. He’s seen as the smooth one of the group, pushing the image of the smooth talker. He hasn’t dated publicly, but everyone knows that he likes to lay on the compliments pretty thick. Anything to make a girl blush and turn beet red. Anything to make a girl feel special. His flirtatious habits have garnered the hearts of Olympus’ fans and the general public, female fans swooning whenever a well placed wink or smile is sent in their direction. Easy going. Lighthearted. Nonchalant. He’s the jokester, but he’s relaxed at the same time. His lackadaisical, almost lazy smile and posture give off a sense of calm and relaxation. In a group filled with a wide range of personalities, he’s the mediator. The warm, middle ground between them all. A little of this, a little of that, but not too much of one thing. When they send a particular outgoing member on a variety show, they send him to balance out their extroverted side. When they send a more quiet member on a variety show, he’s sent to bring out their extroverted side. He’s good with bringing out the best in others, but can never bring out the best in himself.
BIOGRAPHY
i.
Being born smack dead in the middle of five children wasn’t really ideal, but it wasn’t like he really had a choice in the matter. He also didn’t have a choice in the fact that he was born with a silver spoon wedged in his mouth. Despite the silver spoon being there, love and care was definitely not present in his childhood. The role of the middle child is to be the scapegoat. They’re not respected and treated maturely like the older children, but they aren’t babied and spoiled like the younger ones. It was a dark place to be in, and that was something he knew even from a young age.
By the time he was five, he could tell that his parents were more so focused on everyone else than they were on him. He was two when his younger brother came, and five when the next brother came. He knew not to expect attention anymore, so he became very independent and strong willed, determined to do things on his own, although he wished he would’ve gotten the love his other siblings got from his parents too.
ii.
Different.
Jinhwan’s always known that he was different from the other kids that he grew up with. While all the other little boys wanted to go run and play, rolling around in the dirt and getting caked with mud, he much preferred to stay with the girls. He liked to play with them and talk to them so much more than he liked to play with and talk to his male counterparts. That was something that his parents noticed early on and tried to break him out of, but it never worked. He couldn’t change who he was. Besides, he was happy that way. He never saw why it was so wrong and frowned upon for him to be close friends with the girls. He never saw why it was wrong to play with dolls alongside them, or why it was wrong to let them practice on him with their toy makeup kits.
He enjoyed the attention, it was a lot more attention than what he got at home. And girls were just.. nicer. Kinder. He’d met many boys who were too aggressive for his tastes, and being around girls was a lot less nerve wracking. Not once did he have to fear violence or being made fun of for his preferences.
Not until middle school came along.
iii.
Jinhwan continued throughout his elementary school years with little to no problem. It seemed as though the hatred inside of kids didn’t settle in until they reached middle school. He hadn’t changed a bit, he still held the same traits he had as a young boy, and he still preferred being around girls more than boys. That was when the hatred kicked in, and he experienced for the first time in his life what it was like to be on the receiving end of ignorance.
It first started with taunting.
They would tease him about only being friends with girls. They would call him princess and a fairy, and that was just the beginning. The insults began getting worse and worse, and they shifted from hurtful to just plain wrong and problematic. They would call him gay, which he didn’t have a problem with gay people, but being teased and tormented about something like that was enough to cause him inner turmoil, especially since he in fact was questioning his sexuality at the time. “Gay” quickly turned into other homosexual slurs.
Taunting turned into actual violence, and many days he would find himself going home with black eyes or busted lips. What made it even worse was the fact that his siblings didn’t do anything about it. Or more like they couldn’t. His older siblings were already gone and moved out, while his younger siblings weren’t around to witness what was happening to him. And his parents? They turned a blind eye to it. They didn’t have to say it, but Jinhwan knew that they were hoping the bullying would somehow bully him out of not being heterosexual.  
The turning point for it all was when all of his friends, the girls he had known since he was very small, turned their backs on him. They didn’t want to be associated with him. Or to be more accurate, their parents didn’t want them to be associated with him anymore.  
He was alone. No friends, older siblings gone, younger siblings too young to help, and parents refusing to help. It took a toll on him, having to deal with all of that by himself. Turning to music wasn’t something he had thought would end up helping him. It had started off as something to get his mind off of the things he had to deal with in his life. Listening to music, following artists that he felt special connections towards. The more he got into it, the deeper in love he fell, and by the time he was fifteen years old, music had become his lifeline. Asking his parents for permission to pursue that particular path was surprisingly easy. The wall built up between him and his parents had been solidified over the years, so letting him go was something they could do without a second thought. That only made him realize how truly he alone was, and that music was the only thing that was on his side. iv. The hunt for a label was a trying one, with many doors slammed in his face. It wasn’t until he tried his hand with Midas Media that he had gotten some positive news. He had gone to one of their open auditions on a whim. Not expecting to get much out of it. They were a pretty big company, even back then, and he hadn’t expected them to give him the time of day. He was just a little sixteen year old boy with a dream and he wasn’t sure if that would be enough for them.
Apparently it was more than enough, because he made it through the first round of auditions right there on the spot. His voice, while still young and unpolished, held something that the recruiters saw. There was something golden about it that could be brought to fruition. And as everyone knows, everything Midas touches turns to gold. Jinhwan’s voice turned to gold.
v.
He was eighteen when he debuted. Wide eyed and completely oblivious to just how harsh the idol industry could be. He thought that since he had been through struggles of his own, that he had been the source of a lot of criticism and hate himself while growing up that he would be able to handle it when in actuality, he couldn’t.
The first thing he had done blindly was sign with Midas. Being a trainee was one thing, but being an idol was something else. With being an idol came a whole new set of rules that had to be followed to a T, and if they weren’t the punishments were brutal. He had signed his name on the dotted line, basically signing his life and free will away for the next ten years. That didn’t seem like such a long time. It didn’t seem too harsh to him at the time because of how Midas had made it sound so ideal. Why wouldn’t he sign a ten year contract when they made it seem like they would take such good care of him?
Their unsuccessful subunit concept aside, Jinhwan was incredibly happy at the start of Olympus’ debut. He was fresh faced and eighteen, getting to do the thing that saved his life, the thing he loved: singing. It was hard not to be happy when it seemed as though everything was going to go according to plan. It wasn’t until three years after their debut in 2013 that he realized just how controlling the idol industry could be.
It was just a few short months after they had gotten their first win with Growl and it seemed as though their popularity was on a rise. They were only getting bigger and bigger, and the bigger the got, the more eyes were focused on them. He was twenty one then, a few months shy of his twenty second when he got his first taste of trouble.
It all started with one of the backup dancers who worked under Midas Media. He had worked with Olympus a few times, him and Jinhwan hitting it off particularly well. It had been years since Jinhwan had given his sexuality any real thought, but being around the dancer had made him reconsider it again. The push and pull between what he felt and what he knew wouldn’t be accepted was a dangerous tug-of-war inside of him, the former eventually winning out. They weren’t supposed to, but they started seeing one another. Whenever Jinhwan had the free time, he would call him or text him, sometimes even going through great lengths just to see him. Dressed from head to toe in all black to sneak over to the other’s apartment in the night, sneaking away at dawn before anyone could notice he was missing. He had played the game well until he slipped up and ruined it for the both of them.
One morning while he was sneaking back into Olympus’ dorm, he was surprised to see their manager sitting in the living room waiting for him. He hadn’t been as careful as he thought he was with the backup dancer. Of course they had found out, it wasn’t like past idols and trainees hadn’t tried to do it before him. He wasn’t sure if it was because he was being sloppy or if they were just that good, but he had been found out.
Unbeknownst to him, they had been keeping an eye on their interactions for quite some time. Whenever they interacted during breaks when Olympus was practicing, how they smiled at one another. The few odd occasions where they got a little bit too close for comfort, a little bit more than friendly while sitting in the corner of a practice room. Nothing explicit, but much too close for people who were “just friends” to be. He had expected the worst, but fortunately for him, since it was his first offense, he had gotten off with a slap on the wrists. He couldn’t help but feel immense guilt though. The backup dancer had been fired. While he was paid handsomely and referred to another company for work, Jinhwan couldn’t help but feel as though it was his fault.
His career was saved, but it was at the expense of another’s.
vi.
It was 2016 and Olympus were ending their promotions for The Eye.
Somewhere deep inside, Jinhwan garnered up the courage to ask for something that he’d been wanting for a while.
A solo song.
It’s been two years since he asked and he still hasn’t gotten the okay on anything solo related. He hasn’t even gotten to properly speak to any creative team members or even Olympus’ manager. Whenever he brings it up to their manager, he’s brushed off. “We’ll talk about it later, Jinhwan-ah.” Later never comes. Jinhwan’s getting more and more impatient.
It doesn’t help that Midas seems to be more invested in their hoobaenims than in them. With Fantasy on the rise and Titanium debuting soon, Jinhwan is worried that Olympus and its members will be left to rot for the remainder of their contract.
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