sweetwriting4u

[sweetwriting4u]

While I might seem like a super selfish person to others, I think what has gotten me here has been the fact that deep at my core I am an unselfish person. When making decisions in the past I always thought of everyone. I need to do this because I want this person to experience that. I should do that because it's this little persons life too. I should not do that because this other person will be unhappy. Others say it is important to do what makes others happy but why is it that I am happy by making others happy. The unfortunate part is that you can't make every body happy. By making one person feel heard and accepted, someone else will feel disrespected. I wish everyone else saw things from my eyes. I wish others thought the way I did. By talking to an ex doesn't mean I want them. It means that I've forgiven, that I've made peace with the situation. That I want to continue to be there for that person no matter how bad they hurt me. I want to make everyone feel heard, and understood. and others say "But why would you do that for them if they didn't do that for you." and they aren't wrong. You see, the thing is... I know that other people hurt others because the things they've experienced in life have gotten them to where they are, things in life have caused emotions that don't make sense to others. That's why I don't take anything personally. I see things from such a different level. They say that to find true peace forgiveness is needed and is forgiveness really there if you aren't willing to still be a shoulder to lean on for someone else. I get some scenarios are different. I am not saying that everything and everyone should be forgiven to that extent but in cases idk the ones im referring to, I think it helps me to forgive and still be there for that person. Sometimes I feel like I'm a black sheep, surrounded by white sheep. Yet I want to follow my individuality. I want to be different because I find more peace in the way I see things. I know deep in my soul that the way I do things is right for me. No one else sees it though and I understand that. The way I think is odd, and it doesn't make sense. This is because most humans take things personally, and look ... I'm no saint, I also get jealous and I also get hurt but if I truly sit to think about it ... I know that's wrong. I don't know...

[sweetwriting4u]

Human beings are so much more complex than what we think. You can love one person to your core and deep down you'll crave something from your past. The brain will be screaming it wants something, when in reality we know we don't... we know we want what is infront of us for that moment, but the other thing will still be in the brain. A part of us will say it wants that too.. but we know we don't. How odd is that? That you can want something and claim it's true but also you know deep down it isn't. It's like being pulled in a million directions not knowing what part of you is the one that should be followed. Like having kids, moving to a new place, choosing a career or a lover. You want something one moment, and want the complete opposite the next. At least it's been like that for me... -How does one find THE path

[sweetwriting4u]

It's like we all have these hidden parts of ourselves that we slowly begin to leave behind, and while they never truly leave, it's like they are tucked away, waiting to be heard, waiting to be recognized. But sometimes, the new person that has taken over tries to silence them by ignoring the others truth when in reality, all we need to do is to make peace with that part. To let it shine, to let be recognized, to we can then move on without it causing destruction

[sweetwriting4u]

[sweetwriting4u]

Part of me wants to break away from societal norms, travel, volunteer around the world, not have kids, be free but part of me fears it’s my immature nature… what if I regret it later on… do I go with what I want or with the safe option of what’s right. Do I leave a man that would give me the world on a silver platter and kiss the ground I walk on but conform to being a house wife, with kids and potentially live what I see as a mediocre life. I mean I don’t bash on anyone that does that.. I just feel like I haven’t lived enough but will I ever feel like I’ve lived enough… it’s like playing roulette and potentially shooting myself in the foot.

[sweetwriting4u]

[sweetwriting4u]

[sweetwriting4u]

[sweetwriting4u]

Adrienne Rich, from "The Floating Poem, Unnumbered", Collected Poems: 1950-2012 [ID'd]

[sweetwriting4u]

I wonder if I'll ever be able to not think about you.

wolkenleere

[sweetwriting4u]

Too many thoughts for one brain, too many anxieties for one heart.

[sweetwriting4u]

"Well it was different with you, it was just real."

[sweetwriting4u]

“I need to stop fantasizing about running away to some other life, and start figuring out the one I have.”

— Holly Black

[sweetwriting4u]

[sweetwriting4u]

“I am homesick for a place I am not sure even exists. One where my heart is full. My body loved. And my soul understood.”

— Melissa Cox

[sweetwriting4u]

“Do you ever do this, you think back on all the times you’ve had with someone and you just replay it in your head over and over again and you look for those first signs of trouble?”

— 500 Days of Summer

[sweetwriting4u]

Aren’t people usually glad the ones that did them wrong are now begging for them after they moved on? No one told me I’d be sitting here still wanting to run back.

That’s not what I saw in movies… maybe it’s cause we never were a thing and now I’m sitting here thinking of what could have been.

Maybe if we would have dated seen what we were like… I could have easily closed the pages walked away, sure that what you could have brought into my life was anything but right.

But as of now… when I see your smile you bring more than just light. My life feels full when I’m with you… I feel complete… but how many mistakes do I even have to repeat.

I need to learn that you aren’t worth it that you are from what I deserve. Ignore you diss you.. send you to the curve. Just like you did to me.. man how did you even have the nerve.