sweatforged

[sweatforged]

it  was  that  last  inch  silas  had  been  too  hesitant  to  close.  that  last  push  he  needed  to  finally  let  go.  to  unravel  lust  &  desire  simmering  within  him  for  the  past  ...  for  a  while.  fear  a  constant  companion  when  the  obvious  solution  was  not  throwing  punches,  silas  profited  from  a  strong,  determined  hand  to  gently  guide  him  along.  fingers  tightened  around  the  thin  fabric  in  their  grasp  when  lips  collided,  the  kiss  impetuous  &  eager,  silas'  body  moving  on  its  own  to  lean  against  the  other's  with  his  unoccupied  arm  sliding  around  his  neck  -  for  leverage.  contact.  safety.  something  to  hold  onto  as  he  fell  apart  let  go.

  that  pull  silas  felt  for  so  long  around  the  other,  but  had  gone  brushed  aside  by  his  own  worry,  all  the  what  ifs  &  soft  whispers  of  impeding  rejection  of  a  man  who  widdled  his  way  into  the  son  of  kratos'  heart  ...  he  couldn't  take  it.  he  couldn't  handle  the  loss.  his  act  so  unstable  he  feared  for  his  sanity  if  it  should  come  to  that.  but  it  didn't.  instead  he  found  acceptance  &  warmth  on  the  other's  lips  &  gods...  he  yearned  for  more,  eagerly  clawing  at  the  other's  back  -  atop  the  toga  &  against  bare  skin,  blunt  nails  only  leaving  subtle  marks  on  skin,  but  still. 

  when  his  lungs  cried  for  help,  he  ...pulled  away,  a  force  stronger  than  imaginable  trying  to  stop  him.  he  wanted  to  listen  to  it.  chest  heaving  with  quickened  breaths,  brown  eyes  ...  came  to  find  the  other's,  voice  a  little  breathless.  "jay..."  soft  breath  against  jesse's  lips.  ....bed?

"you do that." jesse almost whispered in a singsong cadence, voice dropping lower as his focus changed fully, sure, he would enjoy sparring, defending silas and seeing what they could do as a team. maybe finally battle like a group at the end of it, but... jesse was a man of strong needs, and prone to impulse besides. impulses he resisted so valiantly so far, but no longer, it was a losing battle he wasn't interested in winning anyway. not if he could have silas instead. he wasn't too gone not to listen to the next words though, all too pleased with what the other admitted to not grin but he didn't respond, maybe later he would get back to it, tease the man to get him blushing a little more. "of all the things i could blame you for that's not one of them, silas."

he could've moaned as silas moved even closer, bodies touching, barely covered by toga and towel, skin rubbing against skin. lips so close they might already be touching. he let out a shaky breath, foreheads bumping together, skin shivering as cold skin rubbed against chest, holding onto the toga. another shaky breath as lips touched the skin of his cheek, raspy words in that seductive voice of his drawing shivers down jesse's spine. his hands on silas' hips, the smell of him filling his nose, clouding his thoughts as his eyes fell closed.

darkness, so familiar, and heat, too. but new, jarringly so. he was almost afraid. afraid of the similarities, of the contrasts. fingers digging into skin, not hard enough to break, but a strong enough grip not to be pulled apart. jesse hadn't been afraid of the dark in so long now...

his nose brushed silas, a soft nuzzle as both their hesitance fell away, eaten by desire, or need, or curiosity or... their breaths mingled in a silent gasp as their lips finally slid together and jesse kissed silas like a drowning man searching for air.

#bornatnightt [003] #bornatnightt

[sweatforged]

His lil sadistic ass smirk is living rent free in my head ☻

“You’re next.”

#* . ⊹ ᴄʟᴏsᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ. › ❨ silas. ❩ #when u hurt someone he likes #and he gets sweet sweet revenge

[sweatforged]

"if  you'll  have  me."  silas  shot  the  other  a  lopsided  grin,  already  feeling  a  little  less  pressurized  to  ..participate  as  to  not  feel  like  an  outside  once  again  by  the  promise  of  company.  he'd  been  meaning  to  get  more  in-depth  with  dallas,  but  with  so  many  godlings  around,  missions,  this  party  &  silas'  strong  need  for  occasional  solitude...  yeah.  it  was  a  slow  process.  his  preferences  ...  sounded  like  they  were  on  the  same  page.  intimacy...  in  private.  "typically  sounds  like  you're  tempted  to  change  your  mind?"  was  this  ...swaying  him  in  a  new  direction?  silas  wouldn't  blame  him.  though,  he'd  like  to  keep  him  here  with  him.

  "takes  a  lil'  while.  though..  i  guess  it  keeps  feelin'  weird  for  a  while."  it  was  so  different  from  everything  they  knew.  it  still  was  to  him.  "uh,  almost  two  months.  got  here  a  little  later  than  romeo'n  his  group.  shit,  time  kinda  flies  when  you're  havin'.  fun,  huh."  silas  huffed  out  a  little  laugh  despite  the  ...gravity  of  his  words.  it'd  been  a  rough  ride,  though  -  no  doubt  his  own  doing.  "fell  off  a  cliff  on  my  first  mission.  like  a  damn  rookie,  but  the  others  had  my  back."  he  eyed  the  other, so  many  questions. "how's  the  wine?"

"Pretty sure that's probably true." Another soft chuckle left him as he swirled the glass around in his meaty hand. Most parties he'd ever attended saved the sinfully sweet things for more private areas, but not this group. They were all out and open about their escapades. Maybe that would be something he'd get to eventually, but he preferred his time with others to be more private, so to speak.

Raising the glass to drink, he smirked listening to the other man. It was nice having someone around his age to converse with. "That sounds like a good plan, so you'll be keeping with me over here?" A question mixed with an invite to keep him company. "I respect that. Typically, I'm the same." Dallas wasn't one to shy away from his sexual nature, but he was also someone who held a stoic, more brutish nature to him. No one would see him doing anything he didn't feel right.

"It's been alright, still gaining my legs here." It was nice the way everyone always asked how it was going. Almost like there was a comradery. That was something he wanted. Friendship, bonds. Something that made this place seem more...real. "How long have you been here?" The blonde asked as he leaned against the wall.

#charmingdallas [002] #charmingdallas

[sweatforged]

he  noticed  the  hesitancy  &  as  someone  who  had  to  watch  his  back  all�� his  life...  he  got  it.  he  didn't  rush  him,  didn't  bring  it  up,  didn't  acknowledge  he  had  seen  him  wait  &  just  ate  his  own  chicken.  he  wasn't  going  to  brag,  but  ...it  was  damn  near  perfect.  then  again,  after  years  of  meticulous  experimenting  &  a  lot  of  failed  tries,  he'd  worked  it  out.  practice  makes  perfect.  silas  was  relentless  in  everything  he  took  upon  himself.  cooking  ...was  included. 

  "nice  to  meet  ya,  lars."  having  a  name  to  his  face  was  ..pleasing.  "an'  welcome  to  camp."  it  was  strange  welcoming  people  in.  this  wasn't  his  place.  but  ...still.  oh,  tea.  he  couldn't  help  a  little  smile  at  that  &  nodded,  taking  a  careful  sip.  "thanks."  he  brewed  his  own  tea.  well,  he  liked  him  already.  "i'm  from  kratos.  what's  your  thing?  if..  you  don't  mind  me  askin'..?"  he  seemed  less  eager  to  share,  which  was  fine

lars look at the meal, then at silas, quite plainly trying to decide whether it was a trick. after a moment, certain the other hadn’t laced the food, he forked a rice ball up to his mouth. a low hum of pleasure escaped him unbidden. it was soft, savoury, and warm.

“as a thanks for that, i’ll give it to you.” he made a tiny smile. “lars kyarsgaard. been here for about … five days.” from a murky french press on the table, full of a dark and ambery liquid, he poured a steaming cup of what fragranced the air quickly afterwards – herbal tea, freshly brewed. the cup was slid over to the other. “another token of thanks.”

#coldheartxd [001] #coldheartxd

[sweatforged]

silas  was  ready.  he  didn't  really  know  how  to  do  this,  he'd  only  recently  discovered  there  might  be  more  to  him  than  raw  power.  he  ..felt  something  when  he  fought  alejandro  &  he  wanted  to  experience  again. 

  he  watched  him  with  the  bow  &  for  a  moment...he  frowned,  but  then  realized  just  what  he  was  doing.  interesting.  a  bow...  for  magic.  he  watched  the  magical  arrow  soar  his  way  &  waited  .....waited....  &  leapt  out  of  the  way.  goddamnit.  "....fuck,  my  bad."  this  wasn't  about  dodging.  he  chickened  out. eh. 

  "again.  what's  that  you're  shootin'...?"  please. 

sethan   smiled   gently   before   nodding   his   head   as   he   heard   the   other   man's   words.   "okay...yeah,   yeah.   i   can   do   that."   sethan   said   with   a   nod   of   his   head.   he   felt   the   power   inside   of   him   swarm   with   anticipation   before   he   grabbed   his   bow   from   his   back.   although   he   didn't   have   any   arrows. 

he   didn't   need   them,   at   least   not   when   he   wasn't   on   a   quest. 

"witch   bolt." 

when   sethan   pulled   the   drawstring   back,   the   spell   materialized   and   fired   as   he   let   go.   a   bolt   of   pure   magic   energy   rushing   towards   the   other   man. 

#magesethan [001] #magesethan

[sweatforged]

"gotcha,  we're  all  still  figurin'  shit  out.  assumin'  it's  more  difficult  for  the  likes  o'ya.  my  power's  more  ...  straightforward."  little  nod.  he  ..punched,  he  kicked,  he  slammed.  he  wasn't  communicating  with  fey  spirits,  asking  them  to  shapeshift  into  animals.  that  was  ...  so  fascinating,  though  silas  knew  he  was  biased  because  animals  ..  were  on  the  top  of  his  life  of  likes.  silas  understood  the  struggle  of  ..camp,  as  was.  being  expected  to  fit  in,  socialize  &  all  that.  he  got  it.  he  wouldn't  dare  blaming  anybody  for  struggling  with  it  or  hiding  away  from  facing  it.

  "been  a  city  kid  all  my  life.  's  all  i've  known,  but  been  tryin'  to  spend  more  time  in  nature.  's  uh...  been  helpful."  admittedly,  his  idea  of  nature  were  parks  within  cities,  but  ...  beggars  couldn't  be  choosers.  "yeah,  i  know.  but  they  ain't  all  gonna  come  out  here,  so  you're  gonna  run  outta  options  eventually."  remain  hidden  away  or  ...  expand.  it  was  on  grey  to  decide  when  he  was  ready  for  what.  if  he  ever  was  ready.  but  silas  knew  he'd  like  for  the  young  godling  to  spend  more  time  with  them.  him.  yep. "you're  good  company,  be  a  shame  not  to  let  the  others  see  it."  soft  smile  shot  his  way. he  was  not  the  camp  dad,  but  he  knew  how  difficult  a  change  of  ways  could  be. he  experienced  it  himself  in  camp &  had  been  rewarded.

"Sure." Grey nodded. He'd always been more of a talker, filling a silence with idle chatter and only really enjoying silence around someone he trusted. Perhaps it was the pessimistic side of him that felt silences as heavy when it was with someone he barely knew, like if he didn't say something they'd think he was angry, upset, didn't like them - something negative. But when he trusted someone to understand silence was just silence, he could relax.

"I don't know, maybe? I barely understand the beginning of my powers so I don't know the limits yet." He shrugged. Maybe one day the fey spirits could become even more powerful creatures of all kinds or he wasn't that strong and he'd continue to use the power he had to his best abilities.

"It's worth it, but then I'm biased. I've always been the outdoors type." He encouraged. The woodlands around camp were some of the most beautiful Grey had the pleasure of exploring. "Maybe. I'm not deliberately hiding away and trying to be antisocial. Guess I just haven't connected with others as much yet." He replied. That was probably on him, but Grey had always been more of a social outcast his whole life, the company of animals something he understood more than people. And when people had their groups, he wasn't the type to insert himself in.

#wxldhxrt [001] #wxldhxrt

[sweatforged]

silas  didn't  expect  to  become  best  of  friends  with  all  of  camp's  inhabitants.  in  fact,  he  didn't  expect  to  even  like  just  a  single  one  of  them,  but  well  ..  he  found  himself  surprised  pretty  much  every  single  day.  he  found  troubled  souls  much  like  his  own  &  honestly?  the  knowledge  he  wasn't  the  only  one...  was  comforting  in  a  way.  he  found  himself  curious  about  other  godlings  abilities.  those  he'd  seen  &  those  he  didn't.  those  he'd  seen  ...more  than  the  others,  but  that  was  a  silas  thing.

  "not  that  kinda  moment."  silas  huffed,  hand  scruffing  through  the  hair  at  the  back  of  his  head.  "me?  yoga?  nah,  i'm  good,  thanks.  i  was  uh,  wonderin'  if  -  when  you're  done  with  your  .....sesh."  that  word  ..felt  so  wrong  on  his  tongue.  "if  you'd  like  to  ...chat."  how  else  could  he  call  it?  you  did  pretty  damn  well  in  the  thunderdome  &  now  i'm  curious  &  i  wanna  get  to  know  you?  well,  maybe.  "uh,  brought  lunch.  it's  enough  t'share  between  the  both  of  us."  silas  always  cooked  a  little  more  in  case  he  ended  up  not  having  the  time  to  prepare  food  three  times  a  day.  missions  happened  ..  at  the  most  random  times,  he  liked  being  prepared. 

With the conditions at camp and the world as he knew it ever changing, it had become increasingly important for Jesse to ground himself. He'd learned at a very young age that if he doesn't take that time to mentally center himself, he would spiral. So much like other demigods at camp, he'd had his own schedule, or at least his routine. Yoga, as it so happened, was part of his morning regiment. He'd been half way through his sun salutation when he heard someone coughing from behind him. Seamlessly he slid out of his downward facing dog pose and turned over to see a familiar demigod staring down at him.

While he'd be lying if he said he knew the other well, he knew enough to know his name, and that was more less it. With the amount of demigods coming and going from camp, it almost felt impossible to get to know each and everyone on a personal level. While it was Jesse's goal to eventually get to that point with the camp, he had a ways to go.

"Yeah, I've heard that one before," he quipped with a wry grin. He moved to sit on his towel, eyeing the older man curiously. "What's up, Silas? Did you want in on this yoga sesh?"

#godlingjesse [001] #godlingjesse

[sweatforged]

"you  don't  seem  the  type  to  be  hidin'  is  all."  hands  up  in  the  air  in  surrender,  water  splashing  around  them  when  lowered  back  into  the  pool.  silas  had  yet  to  find  the  bath  house  to  be  private.  every  single  time  he  tried  to  take  a  relaxing  bath,  he  found  himself  with  sudden  company.  he  didn't  mind  per  se,  he  wasn't  afraid  of  company  even  though  he  preferred  solitude.  "so  knowin'  shit  'bout  camp's  your  thing?  what  else  do  ya  know?"  he  still  wanted  to  know  what  his  ..powers  were,  but  in  due  time.

  "me?  nah."  yes.  was  his  voice  a  little  higher?  "why?  you  gettin'  off  on  it?"  little  glance  at  him,  then  around.  it  was  kind  of  intimate.  well,  he  was  an  adult.  they  were  fine.  this  was  fine.

a soft chuckle leaves dante's lips, rather amused by how silas volleyed with him. naturally, there wasn't that big of an age gap between them, and silas was young and spry, even more so now with the blessings of his parent. still, dante really ought to be nicer to someone willing to share an closed space with him for an extended period.

"why wouldn't i? i know lots about this camp, i do my due diligence." the bath house was relatively private, as a general rule, but there were some locations that were less likely to be stumbled upon by a drunk demigod looking to sober himself up in a flash, or those seeking to take their fun elsewhere.

"does it make you nervous that i've taken you somewhere so intimate?"

#gamblersdeceit [001] #gamblersdeceit

[sweatforged]

"i  guess  i'll  have  to  ignore  it.  we  can't  all  be  perfect.  'specially  if  i'm  the  distraction."  little  huff  of  a  laugh.  it  ..  was  nice  to  joke  a  little.  it  felt  like  he'd  been  far  too  tense  for  way  too  many  years.  he  could  see  himself  being  a  beacon  during  a  fight;  most  stood  back,  but  then  there  was  him  running  at  their  enemies  like  a  maniac.  not  that  he'd  want  it  any  other  way.  the  adrenaline,  the  rush  &  the  satisfaction  of  a  fight  well-fought  was  what  he  lived  for.

  "yeah,  it's  movin'  pretty  fast  sometimes."  silas  had  to  still  get  used  to  tracking  more  than  one  enemy's  movements.  he  was  sure  he'd  get  better  with  time.  patience  &  practice. 

  "yeah,  we're  gonna  figure  it  out."  nobody  was  going  to  touch  atticus  again,  not  while  he  was  around  &  breathing.  "i  think..  we're  all  not  really  used  to  playin'  in  teams.  i  fought  for  myself  for  a  long  time,  ain't  easy  switching  it  up,  but  i  think  i'm  gettin'  the  hang  of  it."  little  nod,  mostly  to  himself.

"i never could resist a pretty sight, silas," he shook his head, mocking regret, "it's a flaw you might have to accept." his eyes and lips betrayed the humor and mirth, and more. if there was one thing he wouldn't apologize for was the way he'd gaze at the other, watch him as he fought, throwing himself at enemies even when he really shouldn't.

"we're all learning, and a fight is still a fight--no time to really think it through in the heat of it." he had thoughts though, plans, ideas that might help if they were in a similar spot again... there was no one better than silas to talk it out with.

"you did your part... we just might need to do more from now on." he let out a sigh, trying to relax as he gazed at the older demigod. "i think we should plan better for these things. not leave people alone, especially people who might need help protecting themselves..."

#bornatnightt [002] #bornatnightt

[sweatforged]

"cause  that's  my  thing."  silas'  entire  ...existence  was  based  on  keeping  everything  locked  up  inside  him.  although,  he  wasn't  so  much  ...pushing  things  down.  they  were  down  &  he  just  made  sure  he  kept  them  there.  "it  ain't  helpin',  it's  makin'  it  worse.  do  it  long  enough  an'  you  can't  go  back."  if  he  ...let  go  now,  after  a  lifetime  of  swallowing  his  emotions,  he  wasn't  sure  what'd  be  left  of  him.  he  didn't  wish  that  worry  on  anybody  else.  "trust  me."

  si.  it...  had  been  a  long  fucking  time  since  someone  last  called  him  that.  someone  as  ..focused  on  mental  stability  in  others  wouldn't  have  to  look  very  hard  to  notice  the  short  pause  that  tiny  little  word  gave  him.  but  ..  it  was  fine.  it  was  bound  to  happen  sooner  or  later.  his  name  didn't  exactly  leave  room  for  a  lot  of  shorter  variations.  it  was  just  a  name.  "got  the  feeling  i  won't  have  to."  subtle  shrug,  side  glance  towards  the  other,  because  with  how  determined  he'd  been  at  teasing  him...  he  could  swear  harley  was  interested  in  more  than  training.  well,  not  right  now,  but  eventually.  not  that  silas  counted  on  it. 

  "people  don't  exactly  carry  their  intentions  on  the  tip  o'  their  tongue,  kid.  'sides  we're  all  still  gettin'  the  hang  of  it.  this.  nobody  expects  ya  to  be  a  pro."  they'd  been  godlings  for  ...  well,  he  knew  for  him  it  was  a  few  weeks.  the  others  came  here  a  little  earlier,  right?  maybe  a  month.  let  it  even  have  been  two.  "y'know,  i  trained  for  3  years  b'fore  i  was  considered  fit  to  fight  for  the  ufc."  sometimes  training  took  time,  but  it  paid  off.  "see?  that's  all  that  matters.  even  the  zeus  kid's  makin'  questionable  decisions.  we're  ...part  god,  but  we're  human  too."  &  humans  were  ....faulty.  weak.  they  were  bound  to  struggle  in  this  world.

  "do  you  though?"  sometimes  ...you  thought  you  knew..  but  you  didn't  believe  it.  sometimes  you  knew  you  weren't  worthless  or  weak,  but  the  brain...  didn't  catch  up.  it  took  time,  but  hiding..  never  helped.  silas  had  to  make  that  experience  for  himself,  too.  admitting  that  his  family  wasn't  worth  even  being  considered  that...  it  left  him  utterly  alone  in  the  world,  but  it  beat  chasing  a  feeling  with  people  who  didn't  care.  "'s  what  we  all  hope  for,  ain't  it?"  silas  wouldn't  proclaim  it,  nor  would  he  admit  defeat  if  it  failed,  but  weren't  they  all  just  trying  to  feel  like  they  belonged?  like  they  were  among  people  like  them,  people  who  felt  for  them...  with  them.  "don't  see  why  we  can't  try'n  find  it."

  okay,  that...  was  just  rude.  "pffhh.  please.  you  think  i  scare  easy?  you  couldn't  scare  me  if  ya  tried."  well,  he  didn't  really  want  to  put  it  to  the  test  after  everest  &  his  mind....  thing.  but  silas  could  see  harley  wasn't  ..doing  well.  he  got  it.  that  was  ..  the  difference  between  him  &  most  of  them,  wasn't  it?  he'd  spent  so  much  time  in  this  life  that  he  was  ..  numb  to  a  lot  of  the  pain  at  this  point.  he  learned  how  to.  he  had  to.  but  most  of  the  younger  godlings  were  still  in  the  midst  of  it.  hands  moved  from  harley's  face  down  to  his  arms,  one  across  his  back  to  pull  him  closer,  the  other  gently  nudged  his  legs  until  he  could  hold  him  against  is  chest,  his  cheek  against  the  top  of  the  younger  demigod's  hair.  "shhh.  y'know..  my  ex  almost  killed  me.  that  wasn't  the  reason  we  broke  up."  more  quiet  now,  because  he...  was  quite  selective  in  who  he  shared  is  secrets  with.  "think  i'll  be  fine.  'sides,  you're  too  cute  to  be  evil."  silas  didn't  make  the  rules. "you  tell  anybody  i  said  that,  i'm  gonna  make  you  regret  it,  though."

of course harley knew that silas was right about it meaning that it shouldn’t try. but when you had spent so long doing one thing, pushing those emotions down, being told that your emotions were your biggest weakness by the one person in the world who was supposed to prop you up and show you had to process your emotions in a healthy way, was the one who was tearing you down on the daily from such a young age. it was hard to change what he felt was already ingrained into who he was. he knew the way he dealt with things and pushed them down wasn’t a healthy was of doing things, he was trying to change that, he really was. “honest question, why do you care if i push my emotions and feelings down or not?”

the son of hera couldn’t help the smile that had formed on his lips at silas’ next statement, it was probably the first genuine smile he had had all day, in all honesty. “ooh are you gonna take me, si?” he asked with a hum, smile fading a little, he knew his constant flirting could be a lot for people, it was something he got told often growing up in texas, actually he often heard that his entire personality was too much at times, he knew he made silas flustered several times a day by some of his comments, he wasn’t sure if it was something silas agreed with, if it was something that made the man uncomfortable, he’d stop it in an instant, that’s the last thing he wanted. he just enjoyed seeing him get flustered. he knew silas was right that anyone could have started it, of course he was right. but that didn’t shut the part of his brain that was constantly telling him that it was all his fault. atticus nearly dying was his fault. the fight was his fault. winter, the boy he cared about so much getting trampled and hurt was his fault. and they were all going to hate him, it was the only thing he was good at. getting people to hate him. “i’m a psychic and empath,” he spoke, his tone of voice softer than he usually was. “and i couldn’t even read a room and tell that it wasn’t a good idea to attack them. hera must be so ashamed of me.” there was still a part of him that still believed the vampires were bad news and had bad intentions with them all along. but he wasn’t going to mention that, not like the others would believe him anyway, he had messed up the quest once already, he couldn’t do it again. “we don’t know each other that well but i always have your back, silas. no matter what.” “yeah, I know what my so called family were. but i was a kid, those things are ingrained in my mind. maybe for the rest of my life.” the fingers of his left hand found silas’ legs and resting there, thumb stroking over the skin, his eyes gazing into the older mans, face leaning into the touch of those large hands. he really wasn’t used to this, being cared about, told that he was enough, it was a strange sensation. with a nod of his head, harley gave a small smile. he was a psychology major, he knew what he had before this wasn’t a real family, but when it’s all you’ve ever known it’s hard to separate your feelings. but he knew being at this camp, with these people, it felt more like a family than he had ever had before. “a real family is all i ever wanted. people who just loved me the way I loved them. unconditionally. without wanting to gain something from it. maybe this is my chance to get it. or maybe i’m just being a hopeful idiot again.”

“you’re here for now,” he told him, he could feel his heart rate spiking up as he seen silas moving closer to him, his body telling him to run out of the room. “once you really get to know me, get to see what everyone else sees in me, you’re be bolting in the opposite direction.”

#harleymaguire [003] #harleymaguire

[sweatforged]

he  could've  prepared  a  lecture  of  great  magnitude,  he  could've  unleashed  the  anger,  he  could've  kicked  a  man  already  on  the  ground,  but  at  what  cost?  would  it  make  up  for  what  happened?  what  was  done  ..  was  done.  what  happened  after  wasn't  his  concern,  it  wasn't  his  place  to  step  in.  he  was  not  responsible  for  them.  he  may  have  put  the  burden  of  protectorship  upon  himself  for  everybody  a  selected  few,  but  that  didn't  authorize  him  to  lead  their  lives  for  them.  if  he  did,  then  how  would  they  ever  learn,  right?  but  when  they  came  to  him  to  ask  for  guidance  -  which  he  could  very  much  use  himself  right  now,  thank  you,  he  couldn't  send  them  away.  he  had  to  do  the  very  best  he  could  in  offering  the  support  nobody  else  could  give  them.  it  was  always  different  when  a  fellow  youngling  had  your  back,  or  someone  like  him.  someone  older.  he'd  once  fallen  for  that  fake  feeling  of  safety,  too,  but  it  carried  him  through  the  worst  of  it  back  when  he  needed  it.

  he  could  be  that  safety  net  for  others  &  if  he  got  to  share  some  of  his  expertise  while  at  it...  why  should  he  decline?  but  this...  was  something  he  didn't  want  to  be  part  of.  he  didn't  want  to  worry.  he  didn't  want  to  feel  like  the  father  fighting  rebellious  teenagers.  he  didn't  sign  up  for  that.  or  for  the  tightness  in  his  chest  when  he  saw  them  hurt.  "disappointed?  ah,  big  word.  not  one  i'd  use."  never.  he'd  heard  it  plenty.  enough  to  fill  the  entire  infirmary.  but  that  wasn't  it.  "i  ain't  gonna  lecture  you  on  how  reckless  you  were,  how  stubborn  an'  careless,  cause  you  know.  you  know  lars  coulda  died  'cause  of  you.  we  all  could've  an'  i'm  sure  you're  beatin'  yourself  up  plenty.  chiron  an'  xanthe  choose  the  groups  for  a  reason.  they  know  what's  needed,  they  know  to  balance  our  strengths.  lookin'  at  you,  i'm  sure  you  know.  but...  that  ain't..  it."  he  moved  closer  into  the  room,  standing  by  the  side  of  the  bed,  hands  in  his  pockets  as  he  assessed  the  damage  in  its  final  form.  "i'm...  jus'  glad  you're  okay."  hand  on  the  younger  godling's  shoulder,  gentle squeeze & hoping  not  to  press  anything  that  hurt. did he realize how close that was? he could've died.

rarely ever a slow day in realm of demigods, persistently afflicted with an onslaught of unforeseen quandaries and never-ending missions ; and how incredibly fucked up was it that he felt a semblance of relief to be hurt if it meant a few days away from the turbulence ? he thought it would be a peaceful and quiet time, a stretch where he could just think and recalibrate his approach to meet objectives after making such a stupid mistake that could have cost not only his own life but also lars. and sometimes, it was just easier to draw himself away from everyone else. maybe he would feel less guilty with the next mistake if he didn't feel as entangled with their lives, if he stopped yearning to belong with the rest of them. how selfish. how pathetic. a liability with all intuition and no instinct. but kieran had always been this way ────── engrossed by all the details that it was difficult for him to sense whenever danger was closing in. or maybe he knew danger was there and he just wanted to tempt fate anyway. but even when he was stuck in a bed, it felt like he still wasn't free from fate's little games. he was not exactly the most popular nor the most amiable person around, did not expect the other demigods to pay enough attention to notice absence or care enough to visit even if they do. and yet ────── one by one, some of the demigods poured in anyway. but kieran dreaded this the most : a conversation with silas. he even had a whole strategy planned to ward off the inevitable. an active avoidance, working around schedules, the silent treatment, like a sullen child trying to avoid his father's disappointed admonishments. not that he saw silas as a father figure. of course not. not that all those meticulous planning mattered now anyway. " if you've got something to say, you should say it. " question ignored, adrenaline had completely worn off and the wince of pain at every little movement should be a good enough answer for now. the mysterious woman that did this to him had to be another demigod, perhaps a child of amaterasu herself. kieran wanted to see her again one day. " c'mon. i know you want to. " i told you so. i told you so. i told you so. he had already imagined it so many times in varying degrees of indifference and disappointment. his tongue clicked, a humorless smile pulling at the edges of his lips. " but you're fighting a losing battle if you think you're more disappointed than i am with myself. "

#kieransyphe [002] #kieransyphe

[sweatforged]

"funny."  little  huff,  though  silas  was  far  from  upset.  how  could  he?  jay  had  a  way  of  being  ..just  enough  of  a  tease  without  being  an  annoyance  &  silas  enjoyed  it  greatly.  not  that  he'd  tell  the  other  demigod  as  much.  did  he,  though?  the  little  shit  probably  knew  silas  wouldn't  tolerate  him  if  he  didn't.  eh.  didn't  really  matter.  he  didn't  know  what  ..it  was  they  had,  but  he  also  wasn't  going  to  ask.  too  early  anyway.  for  now  he  enjoyed  it.

  silas  didn't  expect  them  to  train,  not  ..really.  well,  maybe  a  little.  he  had  a  few  more  sets  to  do  before  dinner,  but  for  now  he  was  content  just  ...  letting  the  other  explore  a  bit.  it  wasn't  every  day  that  he  took  others  down  here.  it  wasn't  fancy  in..  a  fancy  way,  but  for  gyms?  definitely  on  the  fancier  side.  it  had  pretty  much  everything  he  could  wish  for.  fingers  sliding  along  one  of  the  walls  as  he  walked  further  inside,  he  turned  to  look  at  the  other  when  he  spoke.  "punch  you?  nah."  he  had  something  else  ...entirely  he  wanted  to  do  in  that  ring,  but  that  was  a  discussion  they  should  have  later.  without  many  words.  maybe.  "depends  on  the  day.  the  time.  my  mood.  dumbbell's  the  easiest  way  to  warm  up."  he  could  show  him,  surely.  silas  had  a  few  exercises  he  felt  worked  best  for  him.  he  knew  jay  would  enjoy  the  show  &  he...didn't  mind  putting  it  on. 

  "usually  do  a  few  repeats.."

"i have seen it, actually," he said, waiting a beat before he went on, lazy smirk stretching over his face, "oh you mean the gym. yeah, i was waiting for that invite..." it was curious to see the sort of things the others had in their cabins, and how they presented themselves, but he didn't think silas needed that commentary, so he just looked around picturing him going through the room, training. pushing himself like jesse knew he did. truthfully jesse was more the type to enjoy their naps and other activities than actual training but... sacrifices had to be made, and silas was certainly an upside to any gym.

if he had been hesitant to take the jump before, now he was hesitant to follow through, and he was far too tired to analyze it all through. it was easier than usual to ignore the sweatpants, damn sweatpants!, and tanktop that barely hid his chest. if he didn't know better he'd think silas was trying to show off, to... seduce him. then again, jesse was wearing skimpy shorts and a shirt that was likely to come off once he started sweating so he didn't have high ground here. "okay..." artificial light, he might be able to obscure the place if needed, get a little power up from the darkness, not that he'd need it here but it was good practice thinking like this, "this is nice... i hope you don't wanna punch me in that ring. that wouldn't be a fair fight." he teased, "show me what you do here."

#bornatnightt [004] #bornatnightt

[sweatforged]

it  was  a  good  little  display,  maybe  even  a  little  impressive  &  silas  appreciated  the  effort  taken  to  placate  his  capabilities  in  front  of  a  fellow  godling.  eyeing  the  handaxe  stuck  in  a  dummy's  neck,  he  gave  a  little  nod  &  a  firm  handshake  later,  he  rumbled  a  little  "sure  looks  like  it,  ezra.  who's  your  parent?  mine's  kratos."  which  was  pleasing  silas  most  likely  almost  as  much  as  it  did  the  new  demigod  in  camp.  "you're  gonna  need  it.  once  you're  here..  sure  feels  like  everybody'n  everything  's  out  to  kill  ya."

  he  truly  looked  like  someone  silas  could  ...  train  with,  long  term  hopefully.  someone  who  didn't  run  away  from  a  proper  fight  &  the  gods  knew  he  needed  someone  like  that.  there  was  no  fighting  that  ares  kid,  he  learned  his  lesson.  "advice,  do  with  it  what  you  want. don't  trust  anythin'  anymore,  they  let  us  have  the  day  off  at  disneyland  an'  we  almost  died."  he  was..  still  not  quite  over  that. not  that  he  even  wanted  to  go,  but  the  others  had  dragged  him  along  been  pretty  convincing. 

Once he stopped being all petulant about it all, Ezra came to realize that practicing with all of the weapons in the training grounds wasn't all that bad. Having something with some substantial weight between his hands as he pummeled a training dummy over and over? He might not have good form down yet but it was real fucking cathartic, that's for sure.

Ezra looked over his shoulder when he heard the voice, only raising an eyebrow in response. There was no reason to confirm that he was new- they both knew it. The second part, though, that was something he could (hopefully) confirm. He'd been trying to see if he could handle wielding one heavy weapon in one hand and a lighter secondary in the other. Since he needed to free up one of them, the newer demigod turned towards one of the further away training dummies and chucked the handaxe, lodging it just enough that it stayed put. Hand now free, he matched grin with grin as he shook the offered hand. "Ezra. I think I'm gettin' the hang of it."

#balancedxscales #balancedxscales [001] #*snickers* ikr i feel u

[sweatforged]

@harleymaguire location: kratos cabin

silas  ...  was  a  peculiar  creature.  sometimes  habit  led  him  astray,  sometimes...  it  did  the  leading.  sometimes  he  just  went  for  it  &  hoped  for  the  best.  but  after  almost  getting  crushed  at  tiana's  bayou  adventure...  he  was  ...  beyond  habit,  beyond  worry,  beyond  debating  whether  someone  should  see  his  room  or  not.  he  didn't  fucking  care. 

  he  still  held  onto  harley's  hand.  he  wasn't  sure  why,  but  it  felt  like  the  right  thing  to  do.  he  also  thought  his  hand  was  just  so  tense,  as  was  his  body,  that  he  ...couldn't  physically  let  go.  didn't  matter,  he  wasn't  going  to  let  him  stumble  back  to  his  own  cabin  after  that.

  once  inside,  he  just...  dragged  them  both  towards  his  bedroom.  boots  kicked  off,  harley's  were  removed  carefully,  as  was  his  shirt,  followed  by  his  very  own  -  which  was  the  only  time  he  allowed  for  their  hands  to  ...part.  they  could  shower  tomorrow.  fuck,  he  really  didn't  care  right  now.  maybe  they  should  eat.  but  he  couldn't  be  bothered  &  he  was  sure  harley  felt  the  same.  if  not  worse.

  so,  when  he'd  stripped  down  to  his  boxer  briefs,  he  climbed  onto  his  bed  &  just  ...  collapsed.  yeah,  he'd  just  ..  never  get  up  again.

#harleymaguire [004] #silas x harley #harleymaguire #post disney lmao

[sweatforged]

BLINDSIDED

GLIMPSES  OF  THE  PAST  -  send  BLINDSIDED for  a  scene  from  my  muse’s  past  in  which  they  were  betrayed  or  shocked  by  what  someone  did  (atticus  is  the  only  one  who  knows  about  this  atm  :3)

  it  hurts. 

  fuck,  is  this  how  it  ends?

  soft  grunts  fill  the  dark,  the  sound  of  flesh  squelching  echoing  in  the  space  between  his  ears,  loud  &  unrelenting.  he  ...felt  sick  at  the  sound  alone. 

  it  hurts. 

  —  gods,  it  hurts. 

  eyes  snapped  open  to  find  the  world  flying,  peaceful  &  calm,  the  sun  setting  in  the  far  distance.  he  could  almost  get  lost  in  the  sight,  he  felt  his  heart  rate  slow  with  every  second  he  stared  into  the  dark,  deep  red  of  a  beautiful  sundown.  he  should  take  more  time  to  appreciate  what  nature  had  to  offer.  he  lived  a  life  of  materialism  &  forgot  what  really  mattered  sometimes,  but  bills  needed  to  be  paid,  right?

  maybe  this  wasn't  the  end  after  all.  maybe  he  was  just  getting  started. 

  oh  yeah,  he  had  to  be  dreaming  or  why  was  everything  upside  down?  right?  &  why  were  the  voices  louder  than  usual?  louder  than  the  subtle  whispers  in  his  ears,  the  little  devil  on  his  shoulders  -  or  something  the  angel,  though...  rarely  that  one.  they  just  wouldn't  stop.

  silas.  silas.  silas.  SILAS!

  "..the  fuck  you  want?"  his  voice  a  low  rasp,  barely  audible  even  to  himself,  which  snapped  him  out  of  whatever  gentle  sleep  he'd  been  lulling  himself  into. 

  the  first  time  eyes  blinked  open  once  more,  the  world  was  still  upside  down,  but  blurrier  than  before  -  a  dark  red  shimmer  obscuring  his  vision,  though  he  could  still  see  someone  stepping  into  his  line  of  sight.  still  upside  down. 

  hand  against  his  cheek,  gentle  &  warm,  he  wanted  it  to  stop.  don't  fucking  touch  me.  but  the  words  wouldn't  come.  eyes  meet  his  own,  they  ...  looked  concerned  -  like  he  was  in  trouble.  was  he? 

  the  pain  is  sharp,  it's  searing  hot  in  his  side,  like  it's  trying  to  tear  out  a  part  of  him.  "fuck."  voice  soft,  barely  audible  still  &  silas  wondered  why  the  hell  he  couldn't  get  the  words  out  he  wanted,  curse  up  a  storm  &  fucking  take  names.

  the  voices  kept  hissing,  whispering  in  that  sweet,  alluring  tone  in  his  ears,  but  it  didn't  make  sense.  nothing  did. 

  hold  him. 

  hold  his  head. 

  you've  got  to  keep  him  awake. 

  shit,  he's  blacking  out. 

  do  something! 

  it's  the  arm!  there's  too  much  blood.  oh  god.

  which  was  about  the  same  time  silas  coughed,  but  it  wasn't  the  usual  dry-spending-all-day-in-the-desert-sand  cough,  it  was  ...  full.  warm.  red  &  dripping  down  his  face.

  fucking  hold  his  head  up!  he's  gonna  choke  on  his  blood! 

  he  ...  knew  that  voice.  corporal.  shit,  did  he  fall  asleep  on  night  shift  again?  he  promised  that'd  never  happen  again.  fuck,  he  was  in  so  much  trouble.  he  didn't  need  another  i'm  so  disappointed  in  you  speech.  he  got  enough  of  those  for  a  fucking  lifetime.  but  he  still  couldn't  bring  himself  to  speak.

  then  his  vision  went  dark,  but  ..it  wasn't  him.  someone  covered  it.  someone..something...  when  he  came  to  again,  he  could  see.  his  unit,  they  were  all  standing  around  him,  some  in  full  armor,  some  ..  not.  but  the  majority  of  them  were..  bloody.  what  the  fuck  happened? 

  so  cold. 

  "si,  si,  listen.  you  gotta  stay  awake!"

  "ah..  shit.  ow.  the  fuck's  happening?"

  "you're  gonna  be  okay,  you  hear?  just  don't  move.  they're  coming  as  fast  as  they  can."

  —  who? 

  who's  coming? 

  who's...coming  where? 

  "put  pressure  on  it!"

  they  did  &  silas  groaned,  his  body  convulsing  against  his  will,  one  of  his  hands  ...  stuck  while  the  other  came  up  to  find  his  face,  fist  pressed  against  his  lips.  he  pulled  the  other  &  was  met  with  resistance.

  "don't,  stop  it.  si!  don't  move,  damnit!"

  "why?"  why  did  his  body  hurt?  what  did  he  do?  why  couldn't  he  focus?  why  was  he  so  cold?  he  could  feel  his  teeth  clatter,  but  they  were  in  the  damn  desert.  another  tug.  nobody  ever  said  he  was  smart. 

  "do  that  again,  i  swear  to  god,  i'll  knock  you  out."

  "hurts...  it  hurts."  voice  shaking,  his  eyes  found  his  corporal's  &  that's  where  they  stayed.  irrevocably.  they  forever  would. 

  "i  know,  i  know,  baby.  you  got  this.  please,  don't  fall  asleep.  don't  give  in.  i  know  you're  a  stubborn  little  shit,  be..  be  stubborn.  f-for  me."  a  pair  of  blood-soaked  hands  cupped  his  face  &  he  wasn't  sure  why  it  dawned  on  him  then,  but  ..it  did.

  he  was  dying,  wasn't  he? 

  his  parents  were  right.  he'd  die  in  a  puddle  of  his  own  blood  &  nobody  would  give  a  shit.  well,  at  least  he  wasn't  alone,  right?

  head  lifted  a  little,  it'd  been  held  up  by  someone  anyway  &  he  couldn't  help  a  weak  little  laugh  at  the  sight,  coughing  up  more  blood.  what  a  fucking  joke.  he  couldn't  even  die  properly,  struck  down  by  an  enemy  in  a  brave  gunfight  defending  his  home  country.  or  something. 

  a  fence  would  strike  him  down.

  —  seriously? 

  he  could  see  it  sticking  out  of  his  body,  an  impressive  piece  of  metal  sticking  out  of  the  left  side  of  his  abdomen  &  another  got  his  arm.  fuckin'  hell.  that  explained  the  blinding  hot  pain  tearing  his  insides  apart.

  weak  little  chuckle,  cough  followed,  rocking  his  body  on  the  fence  again,  which  had  the  entire  group  huddled  up  around  him  hold  their  breaths.  "you  tell  my  folks  the  truth  ...how..  how  i  died,  i'll  ..  i'll  fucking  haunt  your  ass."  eyes  so  heavy,  he  really  just  wanted  to  nap.  everything  was  so  heavy,  always.  now,  right  now  he  felt  light.  like  ..  like  he  could  fly  if  he  just  wished  for  it  hard  enough.

  up  up  &  away. 

  away  from  condescending  eyes  &  ridiculing  sneers.  it  was  so  easy,  wasn't  it?  all  he  had  to  do  was...give  in.  sounded  simple  enough.  simple  enough  for  him  to  manage,  surely.

  "don't  you  fucking  dare."  soft  growl  in  his  ear  &  he  knew  who...  who  it  was.  ugh. 

  "'s  fine.  i'm..  okay."  he  could  be  free.

  "no.  stop.  you're  not  gonna  die  here.  i'm  not  gonna  go,  you  can't  either.  it's  my  damn  fault,  so  you're  gonna  pull  yourself  together  and  you're  gonna  fucking  keep  your  eyes  open."

  sigh. 

  "please,  si.  i'm  sorry.  i'm  sorry."

  he  did  realize  everybody  was  watching,  right?  weren't  they  supposed  to  be  a  secret?  hm.

  wait,  what  did  he  mean..  his  fault? 

  hold...on.  he  was...  he  was..  they  were  alone  &  he  was  behaving  like  an  idiot,  silas  didn't  get  it.

  you're  a  spy.  tell  me  why.  was  any  of  it  real?  hm? 

  he...  still  didn't  get  it.  why  would  he  think  that?

  he  remembered  them  arguing,  one  yelling  louder  than  the  other;  heart  rates  through  the  roof  &  then...  fuck.  he  remembered.  palms  had  soared  closer,  had  pressed  against  his  chest  &  pushed  him  over  the  railing  in  one  strong...  push.

  words  still  ringing  in  his  ear  now  that  he  remembered  the  scene  in  vivid  detail,  his  heart  clenched.  those  words  were  meant  to  be  the  last  thing  he  heard

  "maybe  in  another  life  we  can  be  happy,  i'm  sorry  si.  i  really  loved  you."

the  medics  in  the  area  brought  blood,  but  they  didn't  have  the  necessary  tools  to  free  him,  so  silas  was  stuck  on  that  fence  with  his  entire  unit  sitting  by  him..  for  six  hours. 

silas  had  tyche  on  his  side  that  night,  the  fence  missed  vital  organs  by  mere  inches & after  a  few  months,  he  was  back  on  his  feet,  though  -  despite  a  thorough  explanation  afterwards  ...  trust...  between  lovers  was  broken. 

&  then...  there  was  karma. 

#* . ⊹ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀᴛʜ ɪs ʟᴏɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ᴜɴғᴏʀɢɪᴠɪɴɢ. › ❨ headcanon. ❩ #blood mention tw #death mention tw #kinda #thanks for sending this innnnn #this is like super far back ...20+ years mnn

[sweatforged]

"if  we  can  help  or  not  don't  matter.  what  matters  is  you  puttin'  your  trust  in  the  team."  secrets  were  poison  to  any  relationship.  silas  knew.  but  even  more  so  when  the  relationship  was  as  fragile  &  dangerous  as  this  family  they  had  going  was.  strangers  mixed  in  a  pot,  with  different  qualities  &  shortcomings  fighting  a  war  they  didn't  know  existed  up  until  what?  a  month  ago?  two?  every  little  secret  could  &  would  tarnish  that  relationship  they  were  trying  to  will  into  existence.

  "i  know."  there  was  always  something  going  on,  be  it  a  quest,  be  it  getting  attacked  or  lectures.  or  the  domes.  silas  got  it,  personally  he  ..  was  a  lot  less  angry  than  he  probably  thought  he'd  be,  but  part  of  him  knew  that  romeo  beat  himself  up  harder  about  his  mistakes  than  any  of  them  could.  he  couldn't  help  him  with  that,  but  -  as  one  of  the  others,  he  could  try  &  explain  why  unhappiness  had  taken  a  big  seat  in  camp.

  "runnin'  off  an'  fightin'  alone  ain't  gonna  teach  you  control.  i  said  it  before,  i  still  mean  it.  you're  tryin'  too  hard.  it  just  makes  it  harder."  guilt  &  pain  would  only  make  him  more  unstable.  "you  got  all  kinds  of  powers,  don't  ya?  get  a  feel  for  who's  where,  learn  to  read  the  battlefield.  don't  just...  let  the  need  t'win  consume  ya  an'  shoot  off  all  ya  got.  i  think  bringing  people  with  ya  who  got  your  back  ain't  a  weakness.  it's  a  strength.  we  all  got  your  back,  ki--  romeo.  you  just  gotta  let  us.  if  that  means  you  can't  use  that  big  ass  cloud  of  death,  then  you  save  it  for  another  fight  'till  you  figure  out  how  to  do  it  proper.  you  aren't  the  only  one  t'fight.  the  burden  of  fightin'  ain't  just  on  you."  they  were  all  in  this  together.  he  didn't  have  to  take  over  all  their  parts  &  play  them  alone. 

  "pfffh.  barely.  someone's  always  doin'  something.  you  ain't  the  only  troublemaker  in  camp."  silas said with a little chuckle. he  ..realized  he  still  had  his  hand  on  the  younger  godling's  shoulder  &  slowly  let  it  retreat  to  his  side.  "any  big  epiphanies  while  you  were  awol?"

impossible expectations weren't unfamiliar to the son of zeus. truthfully, he grew up with them weighing him down like a stone. his posture would be perfect, his english and spanish would be perfect. his grades would be perfect. anything his parents put in front of him, he would do until he could do it flawlessly.

if he failed, he knew the consequences.

this, though, felt heavier than anything from before. the consequences for this were relationships reduced to cinders. he wasn't a matchstick, he was a storm of lightning that could ignite an entire forest instead of a single house. his actions, or inaction, could do that. that's the responsibility he's willing to shoulder, the impossible decision making, the hard choices. he's done it since day one, mostly, when he swallowed down the ambrosia without a second thought, when the sounds of his own doubt manifested in his reality and made him feel like he was choking.

he nearly jumps when the voice breaks the silence that fell after his words. nearly conjures a bolt of lightning through the ceiling like he'd done all those weeks ago. a few quick breathes, mostly internally, keeps him from doing so. control. he needs more control. he closes his eyes, letting the words from the son of kratos sink in. he's right, he is, but there's more to it than even romeo truly knows. "i can tell them about the box, but i don't think they can help me with it. it was a gift from pandora. returned to zeus' heir as he gifted it to her." he still doesn't know what might be inside, how many monsters might be swirling within its infinite expanse; he knew the legends, though: pandora's box could end the world. "i wasn't thinking. i meant to go talk to xanthe but then other things happened." vampires, hydras, medusa, blooming feelings within his chest that wrap around his heart like a closed fist.

"i'll be more honest about whatever happens, but i can't promise i won't try to solve it on my own—" he pauses for the briefest of moments. "not because i don't trust any of you to help, but i'm so tired of having to fight and then i hurt someone more than the monsters do." what if i am the monster? what if ramiro was right? what if i'll always need that piece of me—obedient, defeated, scared—to survive this? his thoughts run like a stampeding fleet of horses, galloping with every hard possibility, with every doubt that he's told himself over the last two weeks.

"it was probably more peaceful, though."

#hvrricaneromeo [004] #hvrricaneromeo

[sweatforged]

#* . ⊹ ᴄʟᴏsᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ. › ❨ silas. ❩ #* . ⊹ ʜᴀʀᴅ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ᴘʀᴇᴠᴀɪʟs. › ❨ bodyclaim. ❩