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susiehlll · 4 hours
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Haters be like “Snape was just as bad, worse even than James, because he bullied students.”
Honestly, Snape’s behaviour gets blown so out of proportion. Because other than verbal barbs and once threatening a toad, Snape didn’t really do anything. He didn’t put students in deliberate danger, didn’t hex students, didn’t assault anyone. Snape gives students detention and they have to clean. McGonagall gives students detention and they wind up in the Forbidden Forest!
One time, he threw a jar at Harry after Harry *checks notes* oh yeah, looked into Snape’s memories without permission and witnessed his worst memory of being assaulted.
So no, I don’t want to hear the “he bullied students” argument. When in context, he was no worse than any other teacher and far worse had been done to him.
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susiehlll · 5 days
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finally got around to updating & finishing my reference document
also if anybody wants any of the models hmu 👍
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susiehlll · 6 days
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In continuation of the 'pillow prince/ss/' topic.. Snape sex hcs? I remember you said it's basically impossible to drag him into bed but I'D TRY.
You're just spoiling me, aren'tcha? First Remus now Sev... Severus Snape is devoted to duty. Its the only thing holding him together. How often does he even go to bed…? A full-time teacher, a spy, a death eater, Dumbledore's dark little knight - He probably considers the time he spends marking 'rest enough'.
His self-esteem is dead. So dead he has come to terms with its corpse and uses it as protection. He's been teased his entire life for his looks. By his parents, by his schoolmates, by his teachers, by his cult, by his students... He's proud of how it has hardened him. It's become part of his ego: He's heard it all before - and now the words run off his oily feathers like raindrops.
Having someone say they think him anything less than hideous? Baffling. But while Remus would become a flustered mess... I think Severus would stages-of-grief it. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression… Because his romantic, affectionate side is also a corpse. It died alongside his best friend and he's spent the last decade-and-a-half making sure it stays buried.
To bring it back? That will take a stubborn dedication that rivals his. It takes grit and damn near necromancy. He will fight back, too - because to raise it from the dead is to raise Lily along with it. That is the greatest hurdle: Best friend or love of his life - either way she was the only person he has been affectionate with. He will need to digest that. He hasn't worked through his grief yet, because it is a difficult thing to work through alone. …but he CAN reach Acceptance.
One step, one stage at a time - peeling down each layer of his onion, like an ogre... Things move slowly with Severus - and in the opposite order you might expect. I guess I will go through what a relationship would be like with Severus, in a sorta dot-point fanfic format:
First note: He is allergic to showing weakness - and what he considers a weakness can be... strange. Indulgence. Emotions, affection, touch, company - he has no time for that garbage. He is in control of himself, of his body, of his feelings, of his life. Meticulous, complete control. This man 'tops' exclusively**
He is ashamed of masturbation. It means he has lost control of his emotions - and it grinds against his ego like sandpaper. He almost never does it. Thinking about anyone in particular when doing it is an insult to them - and he hates feeling guilty. He keeps it simple and almost self-harmingly dry. He has more important things to be doing with his time than engaging with this weakness…
You make your interest in him clear. He goes through everything - he belittles and denies your feelings, he gets angry with you for bothering him, he asks you to stop saying such nonsense... and he gets frustrated that even when you've finally shut up, he is STILL dwelling on it. He spends so long just tossing things up, sorting through his grief, imagining it... so, SO sick of jerking off… …when the dam bursts - he fucks. If he is going to be spending all this time obsessing over these stupid feelings he may as well get something out of it. Only sex, though. Sex he is in control of. Clothes on, greedy, not pretty, not nice. 'Thats what you wanted from me, yes? Well you've gotten it. Happy?!?' ((He does not expect the answer to be 'yes'.))
He thinks one time was too many, and did it only to take it off his mind - and to stop having you bother him about it. But it is easier for you to get him to do it a second time. And then a third... fourth... The more times it happens - and nothing embarrassing or bad follows... well, if he has done it once, he may as well do it more, right…? You are evidently trustworthy. '…You may come to my chambers IF I call - at no other times. I am too busy to play silly games.' A casual physical relationship - to solve a problem of distraction and concentration. That's all.
He does start to call. Occasionally at first - and every time he almost shows surprise that you actually turn up. But he gets less and less surprised... and starts getting more and more needy. 'You're late. I sent for you half an hour ago. Do you think I am made of time?!' He doesn't even realize how needy he sounds, because this activity is now ingrained in his routine. He is used to it. And because he is used to it: He touches more. More clothes come off. But never his own. He has gone from 'hands-on-waist' fucking to caressing your naked body - slow rolls of his hips, making his own breathe shudder, enjoying every sensation.
One day his summons aren't replied to. At first he angry. How dare you. How DARE you waste his time!? The next time they are alone he snaps at you bitterly. 'Finally tired of me? Got your fill? Met a better man?' When the response is more along the lines of 'I was a bit ill' or 'I was out'... he realizes he has shown far too much of his hand. How embarrassing. He is speechless at his own foolishness. He showed an inch of vulnerability and expects to be raked through the coals for it. ...What he doesn't expect is acceptance, tenderness and respect.
He had forgotten that he wasn't the one to initiate this arrangement - that he was wanted. Desired. In his mind he had taken control: Everything happened when he wanted, where he wanted and in whichever way he wished. To be touched in a friendly way? To he apologized to - for being made to worry? To have make-up sex offered…? '…Yes. Alright.' Its the next layer peeled off. He starts listening to offers, enjoying being asked instead of being answered. It's still a casual affair - and yet seeing them talk to other people no longer makes his hackles raise in concern for his secrets. Running into them in the morning no longer makes his skin crawl with shame and embarrassment for the night before. He feels excited when they pay a visit in the midday, offering an impromptu meeting. It is oddly... comfortable.
Of course it can't always be sex in the midday. It is too much effort, takes too much time, energy and clean-up. It suits him fine when you jump on the chance to put him in your mouth. At first he is a little taken-aback - but it feels nice. He says nothing other than contented hums, but as you get better he groans and arcs his back a little. He doesn't care what happens when he finishes - swallow or not, as long as it is not a mess for him to clean up. …Well, he tries to be that callous about it… but it doesn't last long. There is a tenderness to the act he can't deny. It isn't the mutual-benefit fucking. This is a gift for him to enjoy. That realization settles and festers in him. It creates a soft feeling he doesn't recognize... and a desire not to owe you anything.
So, without much fanfare: he reciprocates. He gets you on his seat, or on his desk, and gets down on his knees... He is a little nervous about it - when was the last time he did this, if ever…? - But he has no need to be. He is a god with his mouth. It's his attention to detail. His devotion to getting things done thoroughly and properly - even this. What starts as an embarrassing action from the weakness of his heart turns into a strong pleasure for him. He LOVES oral. It isn't him losing control: it's him gaining it. Even when his hair is gripped and yanked, even if he is pulled close and suffocated a little on you - HE is making that happen. HE is making you do that. He never expected this to make him so happy, so hot. He never expected to undo the buttons of his high collar so his neck could move more easily, to unbutton and fold up his right sleeve so he could get his hands messy... To have enough fun to start saying some truly dirty things… 'That good, is it~?' 'My-! How delicate you are today!' 'Stop squirming. Too sensitive…? Just grit your teeth and bear it.' ...and he didn't expect to not be laughed at for such things.
He certainly didn't expect to get so into it that he kissed you to shut you up as you came. A shock to both of you… another wall crumbled. Turns out he likes that too. He starts initiating sexual activity with a kiss. He prefers kissing to talking. It is succinct and expressive. Walk into his office: as soon as the door is shut your back is pressed against it, wrists in his hands, his mouth against yours. If he starts losing control of the kiss he gently bites your lip, dragging his teeth along it teasingly. Your tongue invades his mouth before he has a chance to do it first: he just about shoves your hands into his robes, tearing into your clothes... This man lives for kissing now.
But he still doesn't realize this is more than casual, that this is something he needs… Until you chat. Its a quiet moment. You comment on the parchments rolled at the edge of his desk. 'Oh - that is just my own research into the effects of aconite. I had to work with it extensively a few years ago.' You take an interest, and he starts regaling deeper and deeper into his studies: how poorly documented others' research is; how it reacts to other ingredients; how modern brewing processes can draw so much more out of it - 'you know, the plant is often just passed off as toxic when even basic purification charms are enough to-' ...He is blabbering. On and on about a dull topic nobody cares about… yet you are listening. His jaw drops a little. He realizes that, for the first time in two decades, someone cares. Someone truly cares. About HIM. His thoughts, his interests... He never thought he could have this again. He didn't think that for the sex, either - but sex, compared to this, was easy to procure. He wants to kiss you again. But not for lust this time.
Suddenly it doesn't feel so embarrassing to allow his eyes to become wet, to draw a shuddering breathe as he builds the courage - of which he has masses of - to say something important: '…I am afraid I have come to love you.' It is a terrifying thing to say, but he has never once shied away from saying what is important, even if it results in pain. And yet this time, for once… he feels like he can trust that it wont.
** Many times later, he is laying down as his shirt gets unbuttoned, his collarbone kissed... He doesn't feel ashamed, even as he gently strokes his own dick, encouraging it to harden. He pulls his arms from his shirt sleeves, fearless of his dark mark being exposed. For once work is at the back of his mind as he allows himself to be pushed back down to into the pillows, chuckling as he is told: 'Shh… just lay still darling… I'll take care of you tonight…' ...And he does. Control well out of his hands and a smile on his face.
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susiehlll · 6 days
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Listen, I love dominant Sev smut. But I 100% believe that Sev is a whining, moaning, squirming sub. As my friend said, he's so submissive it's TRAGIC.
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susiehlll · 7 days
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SOMA is still one of my favorite horror games
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susiehlll · 7 days
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happy 6th anniversary SOMA <3 (text from 2061: odyssey three)
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susiehlll · 8 days
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susiehlll · 9 days
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You have now fucked the character on your desktop/mobile wallpaper.
How fucked are you?
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susiehlll · 14 days
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Snape != Harry
Snape and Harry both had bad childhoods. Snape has no excuse -
Harry was sorted into the good house.
Snape and Harry both had bad childhoods. Snape has no excuse -
Harry had two best friends who always came back or never left him even when he treated them like dirt and lashed out at them.
Snape and Harry both had bad childhoods. Snape has no excuse -
Harry had adults who loved and cared about him. Even Snape who disliked him, was his personal dark guardian angel.
Snape and Harry both had bad childhoods. Snape has no excuse -
Harry almost always put Draco in his place. You can count on one hand the number of times Draco overpowered him. Harry nearly killed him once.
Snape and Harry both had bad childhoods. Snape has no excuse -
Harry's fights with Draco were usually even 3vs3. Arguably, Draco was the one outnumbered in the book 4 and 5 group assaults on the train.
Snape and Harry both had bad childhoods. Snape has no excuse -
Harry came from a wealthy family and his godfather left him even more dough. Harry was set for life.
Snape and Harry both had bad childhoods. Snape has no excuse -
Harry got to live his adult life in peace and have a wonderful family with the girl he loved.
Snape and Harry both had bad childhoods. Snape has no excuse -
Hermione/Ron would have hexed Draco to smithereens if Draco sexually assaulted Harry the way James did Snape. Hermione/Ron would not smile either.
Snape and Harry both had bad childhoods. Snape has no excuse -
Harry did not have to witness Hermione or Ginny get with Draco.
Snape and Harry both had bad childhoods. Snape has no excuse -
Harry always saw Hogwarts as his home and his happy place. Hogwarts is where Snape had his worst memory.
Snape and Harry both had bad childhoods. Snape has no excuse -
Harry and Draco ended the series being civil. Unlike Remus and Sirius who still had hate boners for Snape in their thirties.
Snape and Harry both had bad childhoods. Snape has no excuse -
Snape had to do a profession he was not suited for nor he liked for his mission. Harry was a renowned Auror respected by the wizarding world.
Snape and Harry both had bad childhoods. Snape has no excuse -
Harry had a surrogate family who loved him dearly and readily accepted him.
Snape and Harry both had bad childhoods. Snape has no excuse -
Snape was surrounded by pureblood supremacists in school as a disadvantaged mudblood half-blood.
Snape and Harry both had bad childhoods. Snape has no excuse -
Snape never truly had a safe place where he felt loved. School and home were hell.
Snape and Harry both had bad childhoods. Snape has no excuse!
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susiehlll · 18 days
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Death(s)
Death is a merciful being, or so he, himself thought. He, who stood at the pinnacle of magic, in his life granted mercy to those who he dearly loved. One and foremost to his lover and others to those who, he could call his “sons”.
The three brothers, grew up with pain embedded into their flesh and bone. The first brother received it from the way he was brought to this world, the second alongside his mother received it from his own father, and the third received it from the family that was supposed to raise him. But alas, they continue to survived and finally meet death halfway through their life. Death seeing himself in them, welcomed and congratulate them for surviving.
Death asked them what is their most deepest desire.
The eldest brother, wished for power, magic more powerful than any in existence. The second brother, wished for protection for the one he loved. And the third brother, wished for his life to be void of pain. Death guided them to achieve their wish but never granted them any of it directly. Even though he had the power to granted it in seconds. In the end, none of his sons’s wish came true, since to be loved by death only means to gained his mercy. His mercy to then orchestrated your death the way he thought you wanted to. But beware, for his mercy is not freely given, for everything came with a price especially for his love.
Death loved his sons, that’s why he keeps delaying their death even though their flesh already rotted, blood coated into black, and their bones snapped with each step they took. Death gives mercy, as he is a merciful being. his hands shall be clean and devoid of his sons’s blood. For his sons, he allowed one to kill him directly, one to kill his younger siblings, and one to end them all. As he watched their downfall from his throne, death smiled to himself, praising himself to be the one who saved these poor souls from misfortune. His three beloved sons. His masterpieces. His very own deathly hallows.
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susiehlll · 18 days
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Snape
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susiehlll · 19 days
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“Five against one, very brave.”
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susiehlll · 19 days
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Rebirth circle. A sound mind in a sound body.
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susiehlll · 19 days
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@gamingnetwork​‘s event 09 » favorite quote
“The WAU is… trying to help, save its creators from all this, just like the protocol demands. But really, what is good enough?” — Johan Ross, SOMA
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susiehlll · 20 days
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Animated version here:  https://archiveofourown.org/works/29665350
Severus is a potions master, I refuse to believe he didn’t have an antidote for Nagini’s venom. And he was loyal to Dumbledore so Fawkes would have helped. 
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susiehlll · 22 days
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can u tell some severitus fics?
Lucky for you I’ve been browsing potionsandsnitches :) 
Misguided Fate  by watercrystals 
The Best Affinities  by Caesara
This one is pretty interesting, it’s completely au and ooc, which I usually don’t like, but I’m curious what the next chapters will bring.
Geminus: Year One  by watercrystals 
Cripple Me  by krosi
All of these are ongoing/unfinished, but are promising enough.:D
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susiehlll · 24 days
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“waa waa snape outted remus as a werewolf”
has it ever occurred to you that he was well in his rights to do that??? like, sure, love remus n all- but it was EXTREMELY dangerous to have him at hogwarts.
marauders stans act like snape outted him as gay or smth, when he didn’t. being gay doesn’t hurt anybody, but being a werewolf sure does. Remus almost KILLED multiple people with his OWN negligence and no one else’s. HE forgot to take his wolfsbane. HE forgot about the full moon. So yeah, Severus was well within his rights to speak up on it, especially when he himself was almost killed.
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