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…i may have put way too much time into this
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every time i feed my cat i think of who woulge? "dinner" it is my cat.
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I’m just going to leave this here…
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nunchucks are illegal in some states but guns are not. so if you tie two guns together and create gunchucks it’s neither legal or illegal
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If you're fifteen or older an still sleep with a stuffed animal please reblog this.
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does anyone realize how crazy it is to have the actor of a mostly headcanoned queer ship say the fans were never crazy and they were right all along after 10+ years of everyone just absolutely going nuts over the said queerbaited ship
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You face your guardian angel and you ask her, “What is my purpose?” She responds, “Oh. You were here to help that old lady cross the street when you were 13. She was gonna be hit by the bus. The rest is just free time.”
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wanna hear a wild story? my brother’s history professor is closing in on 80 and basically lives at the university. one night my brother visited him for a meeting, and it came up that my brother was gonna be performing as a court jester at the castle the following day. and his professor busts out: “ah, that reminds me of my youth!”
he then proceeded to tell the tale of when he and his friends went backpacking to greece back in their early 20s. then one day they found themselves completely penniless. so they decided that the only reasonable thing to do was to set up acrobatic shows in skimpy outfits on the beach at day, and then drink up the money at night.
after a week or so they gained some traction, and a gang of young greek men walked up to them like “hey y’all are cool as hell, can we join y’all for drinks tonight?” and my brother’s professor was like “of course! y’all have to wear these revealing outfits and do somersaults with us tho” and the greek gang said “sounds dope. y’all are invited to live with us for however long y’all want.”
anyhow, they proceeded to live like this for the better part of 3 months, doing shows, drinking, and sleeping at the greek gang’s apartment. but after a while they decided enough was enough, and said thank you for everything, but we’re going back to sweden now. and the greeks said “sure! love y’all have a safe trip xx”
half a year later my brother’s professor gets contacted by the greek police. they ask him about the months they spent in greece, and then informs him that their greek friends have been convicted of serial homicide and robbery. that the group of young greek men had joined up with several tourist groups for several years “for drinks”, and then killed and robbed them all, terrorising the beach city for several years. with one exception, of course, because “this one group of swedish acrobats in slutty strongman suits were just ‘so damn nice’”.
and that’s the story of how one swedish history university professor survived sharing a flat with a group of serial killers for several months by performing acrobatics in slutty outfits on the beach. moral of the story? be kind of heart, thicc of ass.
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it fucks me up that tolkien only died in 1973. dude has the vibe of a victorian scholar who wrote all his manuscripts by candlelight but then you look him up and realise that he knew what color tv was. what the fuck.
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on this day, 6 yrs ago, bruno mars was surprised to see pete wentz
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no because it actually is so funny how sokka is unrealistically smart like just. inhumanly intelligent so they had to counteract that by nerfing him in one million different ways. no he can’t bend no his sister never listens to him no he isn’t charismatic or convincing yes he has one million different mental illnesses. every single mental illness known to man, in fact. and that somehow balances out the fact that he is a genius the likes of which the world may see like. once in a century. because does it even matter if he just keeps taking L after L and is so fucking miserable and constantly self-sabotages due to being too insane and neurotic to even function half the time and his highest aspiration in life is literally to be murdered. no, seriously, does it??? incidentally, this it is also the central tension of a little show called . “malcolm in the mildle.”
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It's easy to think you'd be able to do something when you know that you'd never have to actually do it.
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Reading amazing fanfiction, then forgetting to bookmark it
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