sunnythesub

[sunnythesub]

Not a peep.

[sunnythesub]

[sunnythesub]

Understanding Mismatched Libidos in Heterosexual Relationships

In most long term heterosexual relationships, there is an inevitable drop in the frequency of sex. Unfortunately, the ‘lust’ and spontaneity that defined early parts of the relationship get pushed aside in the face of the more ‘practical’ side of a long term marriage - finances, work, chores, children… the list goes on.

On top of this, most women typically have a lower sex drive than men in long-term monogamous relationships. This is often described as a “mismatched libido” - a situation where the male is craving sexual interaction and the female is not feeling the same urge - or, at least - not with the same frequency. Subtle cues that one partner is ‘not in the mood’ will often discourage the other partner from even probing for physical affection in the first place. In these cases, it is common for the male to feel sexually under-utilized or under-engaged.

This mismatched libido situation often leads to two of the most common sexual mood-killers in long-term relationships:

The male begging you for sex, which is a huge turnoff for you

Giving the male sex because you feel ‘bad’, which is a huge turnoff for him

Also, less frequent ejaculation makes lovemaking far more difficult for the male as increased sensitivity and pent up ‘horniness’ is a recipe for premature ejaculation and performance anxiety which can make the male hesitant to initiate. To counter this, males will turn to masturbation and pornography - both of which increase the production of the sexual ‘shut-off’ hormone, prolactin, which makes the male significantly less likely to be responsive and affectionate to their partner. Males who are masturbating frequently will often appear irritable or ‘grumpy’ as a result of these courting hormones being suppressed. It’s easy to see how these combining factors lead toward a vicious-cycle of sexual decline.

A Solution: Aligning to the Male Hormonal Cycle

As a biological reality, trying to increase the female libido is not a realistic solution to this issue. It is much more effective to manage the libido imbalance from the male’s side.

This is done by aligning the male’s orgasm frequency with their typical sexual hormonal cycle. Luckily, the timings of this cycle are fairly predictable and well understood. It typically works as follows:

Directly post-orgasm: Males experience a 'drop' caused by a rush of prolactin - an energy and oxytocin (courting, cuddling, compliance hormone) suppressant.

3-5 days post-orgasm: Prolactin starts to return to normal levels.

You may notice the typical "3 day itch" where he's grouchy or irritable. He's highly likely to want to masturbate in this period to get the endorphin rush to offset his slump. He could ask you to unlock him - if so, he's testing your commitment. Tell him he’s doing well and to push a little longer. A little teasing or attention will get him through.

5-21 days post-orgasm: Oxytocin levels start to increase.

You will start to notice a glorious, loving, caring - even obedient version of your male! His desire for you will escalate through this period.

21+ days post-orgasm: Oxytocin production starts to plateau and stabilize.

More of the same, but after 21 days the dramatic increase will subside, although the levels don't drop off necessarily.

This is why many believe that the 21 days mark is the ideal minimum point at which to allow male release, effectively pushing the reset button for the cycle to start again. This alignment to the male’s hormonal cycle is the essence of what is broadly known as Male Orgasm Control.

Implementing Male Orgasm Control

Now for the fun bit - for you and him! The most obvious, but often neglected part of initiating a more structured sexual relationship in this way is communication. Whether this is your idea initially, or his, is irrelevant. Communicating openly and honestly will set the parameters for the thriving sexual journey ahead.

This starts by collectively agreeing to place the male’s orgasms under her control. Setting this, and other rules, as well as a clear structure (even schedule) will be the first part of the journey, after which you will adjust as you see fit.

For example:

Schedule release windows: perhaps a day of the week every 18-21+ days. This is suprisingly useful in long term relationships as it keeps you both on track!

The male is to agree to have no orgasm outside of this window. You (or he) may wish him to wear a chastity device during time, which has a variety of benefits (see below).

Remain intimate with kissing, cuddling, teasing, massage throughout the cycle. This is spontaneous and unplanned intimacy that is at the heart of bonding as a couple.

On release day, give him permission to orgasm. This may be during sex, you may wish to give him a handjob, BJ, touchless orgasm, caged orgasm or simply ask him to masturbate to climax.

5. The cycle begins again!

It’s as simple as that! Orgasm control is in essence about providing a structure and ‘game’ element to your sexual relationship that addresses the key issues of mismatched libidos. For him, the game is one that gives him focus, attention and satiates his need to be desired, in alignment with his sexual hormonal cycle. For you, it balances the libido differences that so often cause misalignment, and gives you clarity, structure and fun sense of control which you will both find hugely rewarding and exciting.

Commit to it!

Something crucial to note at this point: this journey succeeds only if you, as the female, commit to it. Whether you introduced this to your partner or the other way around, if your male is locked in a chastity cage, he is committed to make it work! There will be times when he's super into it, and times when he madly wishes he could unlock and jerk off - but he can't - you have the key.

What he needs is reciprocation from your side - committing to the process, acknowledging and embracing your control, and never simply 'lock and forget'.

Set the schedule

Control (hide) the key

Set some rules

Follow through!

The benefits for you are:

His behavior will change as he, even on a hormonal level, will be trying to 'seduce' you and please you

There is no pressure for you to ‘be in the mood’ outside of the release schedule… there will be no 'nagging' / begging for sex from his side, which is a big turnoff.

He will have more sexual energy for you, which you can direct however you choose - even towards non-sexual things like home tasks, keeping fit and sexy for you… be creative!

The element of control can be lots of fun - for both of you!

The benefits for him are:

Increased energy and focus

Clarity regarding the structure of your sexual relationship, rather than constant 'hope / disappointment' of the libido imbalance

Sex is not the focus, so even small things like verbal cues or physical touch and teasing are sufficient and very pleasurable for him. In the 5-21 day period, the male is climbing towards peak arousal. Any sexual interaction - kissing, touching, massaging, foreplay - will be totally electric for him. In many ways, the orgasm itself becomes secondary.

The release, when it comes, is totally mind blowing for him.

The Case for the Cage

It is often surprising for female partners to learn that in most cases, the process of male orgasm control is significantly improved for the male when a chastity cage is used. Some key reasons are:

Discipline:

Firstly, and most obviously, the cage makes it impossible for him to masturbate outside of the release window. Many males have NEVER gone 21 days without orgasm since they had their first one in their teens! This is the training aid that they need to align to the new schedule.

Zero Erections:

Another key reason is that having regular erections without stimulation and release is extremely frustrating for the male. It is effectively like making a fresh cup of coffee and allowing him to smell it, but never allowing him to taste. Locking him up effectively and painlessly prevents erections, which means he is not getting to smell the coffee in the first place - at least until he is allowed to do something about it in the release window.

Decreased Sensitivity:

The cage also prevents access to the most sensitive part of his nub (the frenulum), which means this is not constantly being simulated unintentionally during movement, sleep etc. This frustration can result in whining, sleep disruptions and begging for sex, which really defeats the purpose.

Arousal:

Finally, a chastity cage should be understood as a tool which provides a constant reminder of the shared sexual experience between you and him. Without any effort on your part, you as the keyholder are driving him wild (in a good way!) every time he thinks of sex - whether in a staff meeting, driving to work, at the supermarket or on a running trail. The sexual charge is highly exhilarating. Try it on for size 😉.

Conclusions

In a nutshell, Male Orgasm Control is the simplest, most effective and fun way to help us bridge the gap between nature’s mismatched libidos. Talk about it with your partner, define the parameters and enjoy the journey towards blissful sexual alignment!

[sunnythesub]

Frida Castelli

[sunnythesub]

Ejaculation is Destructive

So many men live their lives without sexual charge. Getting horny, and getting off as soon as possible, is destructive.

It's destructive in ways that are not easily recognizable.

It appears like you're just getting off and enjoying the bliss of ejaculation.

But you're actually robbing yourself of so much more.

Even when you go an extra day or two, your orgasm is that much more powerful, ever wonder why?

The build up of sexual energy is stronger, the sexual charge was allowed to become a little more intense.

But still, it's spent. Valuable energy. Gone, for a few seconds of pleasure. It's really quite crazy. It's disempowering.

Sex education should teach that sexual energy is a source of power, motivation, ambition, passion, creativity, and endurance.

Every single time ejaculation occurs, all of those levels drop. While you're young, this replenishes itself quite quickly...

So it's not noticed as much. But as you age, it becomes more and more noticeable. It's also why you age faster than you'd like. Why your hairline starts to recede. Why you grow a belly.

Do you ever stop to think of how much potential you're robbing yourself of, because you masturbate too much? How that energy could be used in such better ways?

Notice how passionate you are before ejaculation. Notice how you are willing to take risks. Notice how it fills you with heightened confidence.

Then you ejaculate it out, and now you're back to reality. Chasing and craving.

You could remain in that heightened reality, and use that energy in healthy ways, ways removed from sex and fantasy.

This is why so many men would benefit from a FLR. Because when under a woman's control, he must learn will power, and how to handle his sexual energy.

She just redirects it for her purposes, rather than his. She shows him what he's capable of, and then uses his own energy to empower her.

Which is perfect for a relationship, because it makes them both happy, he is filled with purpose, since he couldn't find it before.

He goes from masturbation to purpose. Notice how he doesn't have both.

There are some males that have figured it out, and they do use their sexual energy to empower their business, and many of them still come home and submit to their wives because they understand the nature of their own sexuality.

They understand that energy feels better, when used for anything other than ejaculation.

Ejaculation can then become what it was always mean to be, a delightful treat. A rare treat, but something that is immensely enjoyed when it occurs. Making each orgasm memorable.

It brings the sacredness back to sex. It brings meaning back to sex.

Can you imagine how much better of a world we would live in, if men had self control, and understood the nature of their own sexual energy?

That's why they need a FLR. Because they all know they're missing out on sexual fulfillment.

There's a deeper calling that a FLR unlocks.

A calling that breaks the bondage of culture, and allows him to become who he really is, if only he could just get over himself.

Create the FLR of your dreams with the Practical FLR book series!

Please reblog if you support me as an author.

It helps expand my reach, and shows the world the amazing benefits of a FLR.

Thank you for reading!

[sunnythesub]

Ways to train when alone @ night

With my Domme working nights, I have had not nearly as much training or stimulation as I should. What kind of things do people do? I'm in chastity and plugged. So it isn't like I can do much to train in the way of anal training or edging. I brought up her giving me assignments and she said to do "as much submissive shit as you can handle". She said I left my training up to reddit and that it was a fun option. So here I am looking for suggestions. If I don't get many, I'll report my progress every time I get something realistic 😜.

#femd0m #femdxm #feminized husband #humiliated sissy #feminine sissy #bd/sm slave #humiliation kink #feminized sissy #female led marriage #bimboification #forced feminized #female led relationship #female led world #feminization kink #fendom #forced femizination

[sunnythesub]

Chastity Art

[sunnythesub]

something tells me this sissy maid is going to have a good time

[sunnythesub]

Femdom Art

[sunnythesub]

[sunnythesub]

[sunnythesub]

Femdom art

[sunnythesub]

[sunnythesub]

Home alone isn't as fun as it used to be.

Over the last 6 months, I haven't been home alone at all. I'm used to my Domme being here all the time. I missed time alone, not as a submissive, but as just a person relaxing. Our work hours have shifted and I'm kind of amazed at how much I miss her dominance. Don't get me wrong, freedom is great too. Doing what I want, and sitting where I want....., but there is a lack of stimulation that is killer. Plus, while I have some freedom, she has started controlling the finances so, I can't afford to do much. I also haven't got used to going out in my collar. I don't wear it to work, but most of the rest of the time I'm collared. I'm not really into humiliation, even though I'm trying to learn, so I don't go out with it. I never thought I would feel like this. Completely sucks.

#femdxm #femd0m #humiliated sissy #feminized husband #feminine sissy #humiliation kink #bd/sm slave #feminized sissy #female led marriage #female led relationship #female led world

[sunnythesub]

When In Doubt ..... Ruin Him!

When a FLR is first starting out, it can take a bit of time to adjust to a sex life with a D/s dynamic. Both partners have their own unique struggles to go through, and so there's no need to rush anything. Whatever kinks you decide to partake in and make a part of your dynamic, I think it's safe to say the general theme in a FLR is tease and denial .... for him.

I think the benefits of a well teased and denied sub speak for themselves. When he is constantly in craving, and aching, he is simply more attentive, and more obedient. It's like magic, almost. However, many Domme's often feel guilty when they don't give in and let him cum. His begging, and whimpering often is just too cute to not let him have it. So rather than feel guilty, let him have it... but with a condition.

Ruin his orgasm. This can actually be a huge factor within the D/s dynamic, because ultimately she controls all his releases, and how he has them. Giving her the ultimate choice, each and every time. Especially if he's locked in chastity, and restrained when unlocked, so he never gets access to his own cock. All he knows is her touch, and only her touch. He's completely at her mercy.

So when it's time for him to have a release, but she doesn't really want him to have a full orgasm, because she knows it drains all his passion from him. All that submission and obedience becomes dulled for a day or two until it builds back up... This is not ideal to happen regularly in a FLR. So a ruined orgasm, grants both, his release, and keeps his frustration levels high. He gets drained, but remains perfectly obedient. Win win!

To ruin his orgasm, can be a bit of an art at first. She must learn the tell of his body as she stimulates him, and monitor his breathing. Recognizing when his breath quickens and his body starts to convulse, she can expertly time it. If she times it correctly, his cum will only, very slowly, dribble out of his penis. There should not be any spurts! If there's even a single spurt, it mean's he's getting pleasure from it. The idea of a ruined orgasm, is to give him a release, but not pleasure. She can then lose any guilt, because she knows he had a release.

As long as he doesn't spurt, he will remain fully frustrated, as if he didn't cum at all. Which is hugely beneficial for her. So whenever she is in doubt, a ruined orgasm is the way to go.

Bonus: The perfect way to train him to clean up his cum, is after ruined orgasms. He will still be submissive enough to lick it up without any hesitations.

Want to support me as a writer, and learn more about FLR?

Check out my Practical FLR book series here

[sunnythesub]

us??

[sunnythesub]

Just found this comic here on Facebook. Gotta show you this one. What do you think about this ? 😈😈