life is better when ya stop worrying and start killin ppl u don’t like
169 notes
·
View notes
My favorite cryptid is the Fresno nightcrawlers because it was just taking its kid for a walk
5K notes
·
View notes
some people on this app are like "WARNING❗️❗️❗️❗️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️ YOU MAY HAVE REBLOGGED A MEME REPOSTED BY SOMEONE WHO THINKS DIFFERENTLY FROM ME DELETE IT...... NOW"
595 notes
·
View notes
"we need to bring back x" it starts with YOU
26K notes
·
View notes
we aren’t doing enough arts and crafts in this world I’m telling you
13K notes
·
View notes
so there's this exhibitionist who's only aroused by being looked at naked & who's extremely turned off by seeing other people naked. he can't solve this with a blindfold because he needs to visually witness his nudity being witnessed by others in order to get off but if anyone else whom he can see is naked, it just ruins things for him. his quest to bust and his aversion to the flesh of the Other leads him down an erotic road paved with selfish intentions until, by some stroke of misfortune, he stumbles into the home of a petty bureaucrat holding an orgy. nude but fleeing from the nudity of others, the exhibitionist streaks through narrow halls, down winding corridors, and finally escapes into the Mirror Room. and he sees himself, naked, for the very first time. two hours later when the orgy arrives at the Mirror Room they find a warm corpse on the floor with no reflection in the mirror. panic! screaming. fainting. chaos. the party's over, the police are called, somebody puts a sheet over the mirror because the lack of a reflection is upsetting people. week later the coroner is able to identify the body of the exhibitionist with reference to dental records and the cause of death is ruled to be sudden cardiac arrest. which is a relief because no one at the scene could even identify the body, everybody forgot what he looked like. no one could remember anything. a whole orgy detained for questioning. you can imagine the inconvenience. anyway, that's why we keep the dustcloth over it
2K notes
·
View notes
Hi Sharks, I'm asking for $250,000 for drugs and alcohol.
16K notes
·
View notes