summerwishes

[summerwishes]

hi guys, i know i have a lot to sort through but i've moved blogs. feel free to follow me over at @1sabels if you like, if not i totally understand <3

[summerwishes]

hi guys, i know i have a lot to sort through but i've moved blogs. feel free to follow me over at @1sabels if you like, if not i totally understand <3

#beep beep

[summerwishes]

hi guys, i know i have a lot to sort through but i've moved blogs. feel free to follow me over at @1sabels if you like, if not i totally understand <3

[summerwishes]

i don’t know if i can rewatch s2 until i get s3 endgame tbh otherwise it’s too painful 😖

#◟⋆ ∞ vibes central › ooc #don’t wanna go through all the motions

[summerwishes]

“ i want something real. “ belly….what are you even saying? you dated conrad for 6/7 months, what about that wasn’t real? 😂

#sometimes i side eye bc uhmmm? you good girl? #did you hit your head and forget or something?

[summerwishes]

feeling kind of bleh 😔 goodnight guys!

#◟⋆ ∞ vibes central › ooc #might do some more writing tomorrow!

[summerwishes]

really, seeing this whole other side to rafe you would think someone had a gun to his head. belly would've settled on an alternate universe or a dream sequence, but stranger things have happened. only thing to blame for the crimson appearing on her cheeks is the inebriant swarming her system as it stands. color her intrigued. he's full of lines that while belly could sense when she is being hit on, he's straight to the point. she didn't hate it, mostly because its better than the animosity he liked to dish her any chance she was in his sights. he probably doesn't get this reaction a lot, and belly is a teaching moment of what not to do when a guy who you least expect and have despised at some point is asking you out. she laughs nervously, like he'd said something that was funny. and he had, in a sense he had stunned her and that wasn't even the first time tonight. " sorry - sorry, for a second i thought. . . " she must have looked like a total dork, as she finally stills though serious she was not. " um, if i'm understanding, then i'm flattered. really. b-but it's never going to happen rafe. " letting him down gently as possible, part of her thought about how he would react. if he'd take it to heart and choose to further make her life hell than he'd already done. keeping it light and friendly for that purpose. downing the shot then to fill in the awkwardness felt.

cerulean hues watched with intent as the vodka shot vanished.    corners of his lips plucked upwards into a charming smile, feeling as if he had been easing his way onto a better path in regards to belly.    “  rubbing off on me?  no.  ”    he’d made it very clear.    although his feelings invoke a sense of hypocrisy, he hadn’t been keen on swallowing them.    kook royalty huddled up next to a pogue, it simply didn’t mend well.    but they’d all done things they shouldn’t have, and this was barely scratching the tip of the iceberg when it came to rafe.    “  but if i had to let a pogue rub me a different way, i’d choose you.  ”    his tongue darted across his bottom lip, gaze trailing away from belly periodically.    “  right, right.    the fishers.  ”    rafe had been on better terms with jeremiah, than he had been with conrad.    the latter found him far too snarky for his own good.    “  just the usual, top and a few of the guys.  ”    as his voice tapered off, rafe placed two more shots infront of them.    “  i dunno, i don’t wait around.  i go get what i want, you know, proactive.  ”    that’s why he’d placed himself infront of her.    “  you’re understanding me, right?  ”    rafe dispatched of a shot, grimacing before continuing.    “  what about after the movies, what are you doing then?  ”

#kookcrowned #ouch thats one way to wound a guy's ego #sometimes i wanna smack her for not reading the room #or reading it but still being like this #like why is she like this

[summerwishes]

if this is the thanks she gets, she doesn't know why she bothers. things have been rocky between them for a while now since susannah passed, since the funeral. the boys will never speak to her again, as though she didn't deserve it but steven, she never thought he could hate her too. she thought he of all people would understand her, give her at least some comfort for the blood that binds them. any window of mending what was broken seemed fruitless, rejection a mirror echo of girl's need to improve frail bridges. " don't get so drunk off your face you need someone to take care of you then, how about that? maybe i should've left you on the front porch to sleep it off, that'll teach you what a real butthead you're being. " a huff of frustration as she looks on with a pout.

steven was never one to admit when his little sister had a point . nor would he give her the satisfaction of knowing that he agreed with her . after susannah had died , he fell into a hole . one that had him passing off his grief as anger towards his sister & spending way too much time partying with his friends on weekends when he didn't have school work to distract him with . it was getting way too out of hand , he could admit to himself . but what else did he have ? it's not like conrad & jeremiah would get back to him anymore . she had made sure of that . " then don't . " he responds , slowly taking the glass from her hands & sipping at it . " honestly , belly , why don't you go on about your business & leave me to mine . i don't need anybody taking care of me . least of all , you . "

continued — @summerwishes ft . steven conklin .

#castlesfallen #<3 better late than never :) #ilyyyy #bestest sibs <33

[summerwishes]

hi y’all i’m going to focus on getting some more replies / memes out that i have in my inbox and/or drafts in the coming days so we can move blogs that is all gfhdkdjd

#◟⋆ ∞ vibes central › ooc

[summerwishes]

not me crying over a steven and belly tiktok

#◟⋆ ∞ vibes central › ooc #i don’t say it enough but i love their relationship sm >>>>

[summerwishes]

bonrad don’t air out your issues in public challenge

#😂😂😂

[summerwishes]

Rafe Cameron in every episode of Outer Banks — 2.08 'The Cross'

#◟⋆ ∞ heart eyes › ic #kookcrowned

[summerwishes]

CHRISTOPHER BRINEY as CONRAD FISHER THE SUMMER I TURNED PRETTY (2022- ) 2.05 - "Love Fool"

#◟⋆ ∞ heart eyes › ic #need proper tags for charries tbh

[summerwishes]

DEADLY CLASS [ S01EO1 : Pilot ]

#(dis)respectfully….. #◟⋆ ∞ heart eyes › ic

[summerwishes]

she thought for sure she had a dream just like this one, where there are the dreams that are impossible to remember, the nightmares begging to be forgotten, this one was as real as the love bursting inside her chest. somebody she would spend the rest of her life with and while that would scare other people, isabel conklin was a hopeless romantic, a daydreamer, and admittedly they'd be a part of it all. she could not be more content, than she is now. in her dreams, in reality. the world made sense. the world was in screaming color. within the sleepy kiss, her eyes adjust to the brightness and the sun that reflects on their glowing features. " a gooood morning it is, baby. i think i dreamt of this. " she hums low, smile full of warmth. she reaches out to envelope their frame, to have a piece of them amongst skin on skin touch that belly couldn't be without in this lifetime or the next.

#◟⋆ ∞ open starter › ic #just wanted an excuse to use this gif pls

[summerwishes]

yes, she had asked conrad to come. yes, it had been her way of spending time with him even if here he was not comfortable for understandable reasons. here, their relationship cast a net of what the next couple of years would be like for them. with and without each other. coming back here to the place where their hopes of a blossoming future had died when she had not learnt how to properly care for it, properly nurture it, hadn't been about the regrets she had -- and yes, there were far too many to count. but it'd been about showing him what her time was like here in spain, without either of the fisher boys. it'd been a comfort, a safety blanket when she wasn't willing to face everything she could've had back home. cousins, conrad, that is what she wanted then and now, only the difference was she wasn't going to let it go again. she wasn't going to let him go again.

it was selfish of her to bring him, she realizes it now. " what do you want me to do? tell me what to do to make it better, make it okay. do you want to come clean to jere? is that it? " the thought of hurting him, seeing the betrayal on his face wasn't a picture belly could ever stomach but sooner or later, they'd need to tell him the truth. they'd need to, wouldn't they? as elated as conrad made her, moments of guilt and worry still seemed to take root at the worst or best of times. " i know being here you think that i ... that my memories of this place are just of him but you're wrong. it's not for no reason- maybe i was selfish for dragging you along when you don't even want to be here. " the disappointment in her tone is to be worn as is the overdue sigh, an anchor pulling her down more and more as it sinks to the bottom, threatening everything she holds dear. at his question, or claim, one or the other, she justifies it with a scoff and roll of eyes, lips pursed to demonstrate the pure foolery of it. " yes, conrad. i brought you here because i'm jealous of agnes, i'm so glad we got that sorted. " she had turned away from him a moment to catch a breath, really trying so hard not to lose it. " you know, jeremiah doesn't bother asking anymore, doesn't question why i haven't touched him in months. he's just accepted it. because i haven't and i wouldn't, i couldn't -- " feels like she is trying to get her point across in a forceful match. rotating her frame to look at him again directly, squinting her brown hues. " what about you? have you slept with agnes lately? " she expects to know the answer, which is why she is not seriously making an inquiry, just challenging the grounds of it.

i hate this just as much as you do.

you're the only person i can turn to prompts    -    isabel conklin. i hate this just as much as you do. accepting.

conrad isn’t thinking straight.    if he was, his words wouldn’t leave his lips with the intent to hurt.    to bring to her the same pain he felt she’d inflicted upon him.    their affair had spanned months now, and perhaps had spiraled out of control.    rarely, had their relationship been straight forwards.    rather, a complicated and often messy sequence of winding turns most would find difficult to follow.    for any chance of having loved her in this lifetime, he would follow it.    over and over again, to the ends of the universe and back again.    his heart beat for her, conrad could have lived for her.    lately, he found it difficult to see that energy reciprocated.    most times, their hearts collide in cousin’s.    it’s there where the guilt sept through armored walls.    this time, it’s in spain.    their families had come down for belly, a reunion of past faculty who’d studied there.    the pain he’s met with isn’t one he can recognize, it’s numbing in a way.    a true look into her world away from him, where she’d opened a letter a month.    where she’d decided to damn his chances of ever calling her his wife to the grave.    the place she’d decided to marry jeremiah.

“  if you did, we wouldn’t still be doing this.  ”    he couldn’t even look at her.    they’d been tasked with hosting guests.    jeremiah and steven had left the house to fetch groceries, leaving them together, alone.    a gesture he typically appreciated, a chance to love her openly.    reduced to ashes by an ill timed argument.    “  i don’t even know why i came here, this isn’t for me.  i don’t even want to be here.  ”    he scoffed.    “  this is for you and him, and i—  ”    came here thinking it would make you happy.    the words die out on the tip of his tongue, harshness swallowed.    “  but no, you just had to pull me across the ocean.  for no reason.  ”    conrad paused, contemplating his next words.   “  or are you doing this because you’re jealous of agnes?  ”  

#as always i have to match length because i have no impulse control #conradfish3r #◟⋆ ∞ did the love affair maim you too? › au #she said GAG him

[summerwishes]

she shouldn't be mad. she should not even be shocked. somewhere along the line the abandonment had imbedded itself inside her deepest fears. she had been the one to cut the cord when she finalized her relationship to jeremiah. that same thread that sprung back to life the moment they're near one another, drawn together for as long as infinite keeps on spinning. it was her doing that made them like this, perhaps she deserved to feel how a heart breaks for the millionth time. till when does it end? till when does she get her wings back? they'd been clipped, forever floating in a colorless embodiment. really, how is any of it fair? " i don't. i don't hate you... i just- " don't want you to go. it really feels like half of her heart is going too. " why does it feel like i'm losing you all over again? " because you are. and this time, like all the other times, they're going to let it happen until their hearts give out. despite the consequences, belly cannot help but reach out her hand to his, something in her stops the action however. she wants to keep him close, selfishly, undeniably, it is clear he is the one thing she cant afford to lose. " i wont ever see you again, will i? " voice is dim, almost like she'd accepted it. almost like she was too devastated to fight what was to come. if he stayed or left her in the dark where their love wasn't getting the sunlight it needed, she couldn't make that decision for him. fighting back tears, stray one fell from crestfallen face with more soon to follow. " i don't know how i'm supposed to live with what we did last night, how am i suppose to move on from that? " move on from you?! practically a confession past shaky breath, while blinking through blurred vision. he'd given her peace in an limited amount of time, the universe takes it away just as quick. how cruel that this is their fate.

the disappointment she held in his decision needn’t be voiced.    conrad could tell before he’d said anything, in a way—  he expected it.    but this is who he is.    he’d never lied about it, not once.  some things were easier to run from, and he’d all but mastered the art of disassociation, so he tells himself.    with isabel it’s not the same.  she’d been a virus, planted in the deepest crevice of his heart, and spread to the furthest edges.    her frigid tone sent a chill down his spine, molars grind together in pain.    “  yeah.  ”    his voice had never sounded smaller, dwindling in betrayal.    palms shrug, not to communicate carelessness, but rather to confirm her statement.  “  i’m just trying to do right by you.  ”    his tongue ran over the swell of his bottom lip, desperately trying to find the courage to turn away from her.    to disappear through the front door he’d been hovering by.    yet, he can’t.    too many times they’d left it here, on ill terms.    “  i feel like we keep ending up here, belly.  ”    and he felt at fault.  “  i don’t know what to do, how to fix it, but i—  ”    i’m still yours.    i always have been.    those had been the words he’d yearned to say, but he swallowed them.    “  please don’t hate me for this.  ”  

#conradfish3r #oh iim not okay #◟⋆ ∞ did the love affair maim you too? › au #i rambled im sorry