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You look like Gwyneth Paltrow on food stamps and not in a good way!

Shiva Baby (2020) dir. Emma Seligman

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We’re All Going to the World’s Fair (2021)

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attention janeheads

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It's human to lie. Most of the time we can't even be honest with ourselves.

RASHOMON (1950) dir. Akira Kurosawa

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Akira Kurosawa and his cast behind the scenes on the set of "Rashomon."

#Rashomon #AkiraKurosawa

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Oh, how embarrassing.

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Roasting you based on your favorite of these German Expressionist films

(this post is a joke; don't take it too seriously lol)

Metropolis: You've got spicy political opinions and daddy issues. You were doing great in life until you found out how corrupt capitalism is sometime in high school or college, and it's absolutely mind-boggling to you that nobody else is batting an eyelid at all the injustices of the world because they're too busy defending the concept of a 40-hour work week. You're constantly checking your privilege and everyone else's, too. Or you just want to bang a robot. That's probably it.

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari: Okay, I could make a joke about you being emo, or you liking the most basic film on the list, but that's not really the issue here. Your Hot Topic fashion sense and shitty drugstore eyeliner are nowhere near as concerning as the fact that you have no idea who the hell you are without them. You constantly overthink everything and are great at solving everyone's problems but your own, and you're averaging like 4 hours of sleep on a good night. You can't get your intrusive thoughts to leave you alone and if you relate to literally any character in this film, you need to get help. It's okay; I promise your therapist doesn't secretly hate you.

M: You're a surprisingly sweet and empathetic person for someone whose favorite film on this list is about a child murderer. You care deeply about others and are very much in tune with yourself, but unfortunately, everything you say is so off-putting that most people don't get that vibe about you. If they actually gave you a chance, they'd find that you have a great personality, but they don't, so instead you're stuck at home stalking your ex's vacation photos on social media.

Dr. Mabuse the Gambler: You like the finer things in life. You're high-maintenance, your tastes are classy and expensive, and you actually know how wine tasting works. However, you're way too into conspiracy theories and pyramid schemes for your own good, and your cultured proclivities are deeply undercut by the fact that you probably got into Bitcoin when that was a thing. Your two career paths are either "businessperson" or "cult leader," and it's concerningly difficult to discern which one you're on.

Nosferatu: Your sense of humor relies entirely on recycling memes that are at least a decade old, and the fact that you communicate nearly entirely in pop culture references is your attempt at disguising the fact that you're really bad at socializing. You think you have lots of great ideas that make perfect sense, but most people don't know what the hell you're going on about. However, you've got one or two ride or die friends who love you for who you are, cringe and all. Keep being you, Nosferatu fan. Never change.

The Student of Prague: I'm not sure this one is actually anyone's favorite film, but if this was yours, you were into shipping the Onceler with himself when that was a thing. You're super competitive, but you have a tendency to overwork yourself and burn out quickly, so now you're living off of Top Ramen and protein bars. People love to tell you that you "have potential" and "just need to apply yourself," but what they don't get is that you're stressed 24/7 and won't give yourself a break because you're trying so hard to satisfy your own impossible standards. Please take a nap.

Der Golem: You're great with children, small animals, and potted plants, but that's because literally anyone else you have to deal with fucking pisses you off. The absolute audacity of everyone around you means you're never not two seconds away from throwing hands, but honestly? You're always right and you should say it. You're actually a really nice person, but people keep pushing you to your limit and you're sick of it. On an unrelated note, you probably work in customer service.

Different from the Others: If this is your favorite film and you're a member of the LGBT community, that's perfectly understandable. It was a monumental achievement in LGBT cinema in the early 20th century and, despite being somewhat dated by today's standards due to the time period it was created in, largely holds up as an educational, yet tragic, piece of cinema. That being said, if you're a straight/cis/allo person and this is your favorite film, what is going on with you. I want to study you in a lab. How did you find this film. Come to think of it, how did you even get into German Expressionist cinema to begin with. I just want to know

Der Januskopf: [REDACTED]

Genuine: You're a "Caligari" fan who doesn't want to seem basic like the rest of the "Caligari" fans, so somehow you ended up here. You don't actually like this film aside from the visuals. Nobody actually likes this film. You want so, so badly to like this film, so you lie to yourself, just like you do about everything else.

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ICONIC MOVIES | GLADIATOR (2000) dir. Ridley Scott

The general who became a slave. The slave who became a gladiator. The gladiator who defied an emperor. Striking story! But now, the people want to know how the story ends. Only a famous death will do. And what could be more glorious than to challenge the Emperor himself in the great arena?

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idk what y'all heard but dev patel really made monkey man for me. there's no other reason why he'd make a film criticising religious nationalism and the police whilst uplifting the hijra community, kicking ass, biting noses, stabbing a man in the neck with his teeth. he really argued that pacifism has its limits in restoring justice, which honours those who used violence against british colonisers,,, and then he depicted that violence with the most gorgeous cinematography,,, i could go on,,,,

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Monkey Man (2024) dir. Dev Patel

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HEAVY SPOILERS FOR MONKEY MAN!!!! GO WATCH THE MOVIE IF YOU HAVENT ITS REALLY GOOD DAMMIT!!!!!!!

Anyway

I think an overlooked bit in Monkey Man is how bleach is used as imagery and association. Bleach is often use is to remove stains from clothes/surfaces, disinfect things, and just generally clean stuff. I think this plays a lot into the revenge narrative central to the film, as well as offering a comparison/contrast to the villians’ methods of “removing India’s scars”

When the Kid first shows his hands he says they look that way from bleach and chemicals and calls them his CV. Now, without the mention of bleach this scene is still impactful within context, bc the Kid is indirectly saying that his life is defined by his trauma and the death of his mother (and maybe even his inability to save her). Hands are also a reoccurring symbol throughout the film in an of themselves. But back to bleach. I think mentioning bleach is important bc it depicts bleach as corrosive and something higher ups don’t want to engage in. “Give me the job no one wants to do, and ill do it.” No one at Kings wants what the Kid wants, and no one there is willing to cleanse the city and the establishment of its own corruption.

There’s also the fact that Kid’s pseudonym comes from the brand of bleach he uses at his job. By naming himself after the bleach he uses, Kid associates himself with an aggressive way of cleansing, which is kinda the whole message of Monkey Man as a narrative. It’s telling that the closest thing to a conventional name we have for the Kid just reinforces his purpose within the story.

Finally, the Kid bleaches his monkey mask before he goes to Kings for the final act. I think this is symbolic of him stripping away his persona of “Kong” that he used as a fighter from the mask, replacing it with the identity of Hanuman he has come to inhabit. The lighter fur looks more like the fur Hanuman is shown to have throughout the movie, both in the children’s book and the puppet in the stage play. It could also symbolize the Kid “cleansing his mind” of what remains from before he was saved by the hijras, and fully embracing his purpose.

Am i thinking about this way to much? Obviously but i don’t care bc its fun lol. Love this movie.

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It’s always difficult to keep personal prejudice out of a thing like this. And wherever you run into it, prejudice always obscures the truth.

12 ANGRY MEN dir. Sidney Lumet 

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THE GARDEN OF WORDS  言の葉の庭 2013, dir. Makoto Shinkai

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I’m really fucking pissed that I saw Late Night With the Devil before I found out about the usage of AI. I guess that’s what I get for not reading the reviews beforehand.

I hate that I gave them money and I hate that this idea could’ve been a perfectly good movie and they ruined it by not paying an artist.

I also hate how people are trying to give them a pass because it’s an indie movie. Plenty of indie movies have been made before without AI art.

Either figure it out, or don’t make the movie.

Don’t go see this! Hold the line against generative AI!

#late night with the devil #if they could remake this with actual artist drawn interstitial scenes that would be great

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I made a crazy risk, a gamble, and it’s about to pay off. 

UNCUT GEMS (2019) dir. Josh Safdie & Benny Safdie

#uncut gems