sugarstarsandsunflowers

[sugarstarsandsunflowers]

“I am living on borrowed time I was 10 years old when I supposed to die. My tiny little body tried it’s very best, but it only had 10 years worth of function in it. 10 years old is the time of hopscotch and double dutch and growing. It is still elementary, it is young, it is vibrant, it has barely just begun. 10 years old is when you’re finally allowed to stay up past 9, when you’re about to get your very first pet, when the world is still enchanting and big and new. I am living on borrowed time. Because when I was 10 years old instead of running and playing and dreaming, I was dying. Rotting. Decaying. My body had become a graveyard, eating away at itself from the inside out. I became thin and weak. I started withering away until I was nothing but the shell of a child who once had a soul so bright it rivaled the stars. Now broken and dim and dead. I am living on borrowed time. Because April 18, 2009 is the day my life ended. The man who had delivered me into this world was the one to look my mother in the eye and tell her that her baby was dying. She cried, and at the time I did not understand, but I do now. Because 8 years of borrowed time takes it’s toll. Because every day, I’m lucky to be born in an age where people like me are allowed to live. Every horrible symptom is just water under the bridge in the grand scheme of things. Every 3 am close call of stumbling and shaking and crying and crumpling to a ball on the floor because my body has robbed me of the ability to walk another step is a fucking miracle because I have been graciously gifted the choice of fighting every single day just to make sure I wake up the next time. I am living on borrowed time. Because a meal is no longer just a meal. Even the base human need of food for sustenance has become my battlefield. My blood has become my penance for waking up every day since that fateful April night 8 long years ago. I am living on borrowed time. And the clock ticking in my ear is ever constant, and I am far too aware of each desperate second I am spending here, wasting away from the inside out. I am living on borrowed time. Because today, right now in this very moment is the only thing I have guaranteed. This half-life, this purgatory, this never ending road of suffering and uncertainty is not one that is in the business of mercy. I am living on borrowed time. And it has made me a ghost, nothing more than a wavering vaper, desperately trying to make footprints in the sand because any second now I may just disapate right in front of you and then there’ll be nothing left but the whispers of these words that I was once screaming, begging to be heard. I am living on borrowed time. And one day, whether I like it or not, that gift will run out, and my time will be up.”

— Borrowed Time (via annieisyourfavourite)

[sugarstarsandsunflowers]

anyone who wouldn’t become a cyborg is a fucking idiot

[sugarstarsandsunflowers]

Daily Meditation #179

“Consider what really matters to you.  What would you need to do and say to feel complete before you die, to feel that you are not leaving any loose ends, and that you could die in peace?  If you had only one more year to live, how would you change your life, beginning right now?”

[sugarstarsandsunflowers]

[sugarstarsandsunflowers]

[sugarstarsandsunflowers]

Everyday may not be a good day, but there is good in every day. 

[sugarstarsandsunflowers]

Praying for the woman I’ll be in 5+yrs I hope she’s happy, and loved, living life unapologetically, doing what she loves.

[sugarstarsandsunflowers]

[sugarstarsandsunflowers]

me: not today, satan 

satan: you’ve been canceling our plans for weeks now. if it’s something i said, please just tell me

[sugarstarsandsunflowers]

TODAY IN HISTORY: The rings of Saturn, August 17, 1981, in an enhanced view from the Voyager 2 space probe, assembled from clear, orange and ultraviolet frames taken at a distance of 8.9 million km (5.5 million miles). 

(NASA)

[sugarstarsandsunflowers]

[sugarstarsandsunflowers]

Tell Cersei. I want her to know it was me.

[sugarstarsandsunflowers]

heh

webtoon / website / facebook / twitter / patreon

[sugarstarsandsunflowers]

make girls cum not cry

[sugarstarsandsunflowers]

Hazel Scott playing two pianos at the same damn time with ease

[sugarstarsandsunflowers]

[sugarstarsandsunflowers]