substitious-bastard

[substitious-bastard]

it’s funny because boobs.

[substitious-bastard]

remember when you used to be able to play snake with the… hold on what’s it called

hmm. don’t think i’ll be calling it that. anyways i was gonna say remember when you could play snake with the buffering circle on youtube but. now i have other concerns

[substitious-bastard]

i think it is important to recognize the ways in which your favorite thing sucks. i think it keeps u normal

[substitious-bastard]

IT HAPPENED

I GOT DELAYED REACTION PRATCHETT PUNNED

Knurd. KNURD.

It’s fucking “drunk” backwards Sir Terry Pratchett I swear I’m gonna get on a plane and go scream at your grave—

#FUCK

[substitious-bastard]

[substitious-bastard]

things i’ll not call you a whore for:

sexual activity

how you dress

things i’ll call you a whore for:

stealing my food 

stealing my lemons

my cat likes you more than me

[substitious-bastard]

the president should hire ao3 writers to write propaganda cause they will make me change my worldviews on anything

[substitious-bastard]

[substitious-bastard]

I don't know how Terry managed it. There's just nothing on this earth like a Discworld book. I'll be listening to a book I've read countless times over and suddenly, a single line I've never even really noticed before will tear me open. They just reach right inside me and open my ribcage to expose my very heart.

Tonight, it was Hat Full of Sky and Granny Weatherwax saying, "The world is unfair. Be grateful you have friends." On their own, the words are unremarkable. But juxtaposed together, with the context they are operating in....they had tears flowing down my face before I knew what was happening. The world is unfair; sometimes, the wonderful happens when it shouldn't (and/or when you feel you deserve a divinely wrathful torment) because you have friends. The world is unfair. That doesn't just mean that the horrible happens when it shouldn't. It means that the beautiful does too. Be grateful you have friends. They are the hub on which that beauty spins, turning the theft into gold.

A lot of people I've introduced to these books haven't liked them — they find them too silly, or preachy, or nonsensical, or even puerile. I am never upset or really disappointed when they don't like them. To each their own. But I will never understand it. They are baked into my being in a way that few things are and I am better to myself, to other people, and to the world because of it.

Sir Terry, you were a gift nonpareil. Thank you for your words and for shaping my world.

[substitious-bastard]

Reading The Fifth Elephant and it still stands out to me how you can use the Discworld werewolves as a one-to-one analogy to explain how bisexuality works.

They appear as both humans and wolves but are their own separate thing. They switch back and forth between human and wolf form but they don't become these things every time they switch, no matter which form they're in they're always werewolves. Some of them show more of the wolf side or the human side but they're all werewolves. Both wolves and humans see them as "similar-to-us-but-wrong" and discriminate against them…

Yep, sounds familiar.

[substitious-bastard]

The current state of pop girlies is so funny like

Ariana Grande: getting dragged for homewrecking with the guy who played SpongeBob in the SpongeBob musical

Taylor Swift: dropping her worst album in years about how deeply obsessed she is with Matty Healy

Billie Eilish, for some reason:

[substitious-bastard]

sometimes you dont eat fruit for awhile and then you eat some fruit and you're like oh fuck its fruit

[substitious-bastard]

I am alright at sketching simple figures and I hope no one is going to throw up because of my colouring skill

Part two here

#silly billys

[substitious-bastard]

[substitious-bastard]

i am a loser in ways you can’t even wrap your head around

#i can be insane about things yall have never even heard of

[substitious-bastard]

i am a loser in ways you can’t even wrap your head around

[substitious-bastard]

I shouldn’t have to work on account of my big brown eyes and general sweetiepieness