straycidio - Tumblr blog

straycidio · 11 months

Text

MATILDA

pairing: bf!bangchan x reader

genre: angst, fluff, comfort

warnings: reader is anxious, talking about depression, mentions of food, insecurities, swear words, family issues, idk if there’s anything else

a/n: this is my first post aaaaaa, i hope you like it, i decided to do comfort bc it’s my favorite genre, tell me if there’s anything wrong

ᯤ now playing: matilda by harry styles

★ ☆ ★

he had seen it. everything. every time you were anxious, sad, when you felt like everything was wrong. he had seen it, but you didn’t notice. chris really tried to help you, but you just didn’t want help. you thought it wasn’t noticeable, maybe for other people it wasn’t.

but you boyfriend saw everything.

everytime you stated at yourself too long in the mirror, everytime you locked yourself in the bathroom for hours, when you came late from work, when you didn’t have energy to work at all. he did notice. maybe it was time to do something about it.

“are you okay?” his sweet voice asked. you were in front of him, but you weren’t there. you were barely touching the food he spent hours doing even after a whole day at work.

you looked up at him and saw his worried face. “i’m fine” you lied “i’m just sleepy”. you hated to lie to him but you truly didn’t want him to worry. not with everything he had to do at work and the comeback he was preparing. it would be too much.

“you’re not. you seem so distant”

the confidence he used in that sentence surprised you. how could he know it? you’ve been hiding it so well. you probably just couldn’t pretend anymore. “i really am, don’t worry” you smiled at him and he looked down to his plate, empty, while yours was still full. you observed him quietly for a few seconds when he decided to glance back at you.

“when will you stop pretending, y/n?” he said, touching your hand. your eyes opened wide and your mouth did the same to defend yourself, but he interrupted you. “you can lie to everyone, but not to me. please, do not lie to me”

your eyes watered at his words, you were speechless. you couldn’t say anything because he was right. you couldn’t lie to him. he would always find out.

“i…” you tried to formulate a sentence, but the worlds didn’t come out. “i’m sorry” a single tear ran down your cheek. you quickly used your thumb to wipe it, but chris grabbed your wrist and he did it instead. your eyes were connected and you somehow you felt the warmth you’ve wanted to feel all this months. the protection you needed.

“hey, no, no, it’s okay” he said, standing up and walking to you. he leaned towards you and kissed your head. he later took you in his arms and sat on the couch to sit you on his lap. “what’s wrong, baby?”

you tried to explain, but you just couldn’t put the words together, it didn’t make sense. he watched you struggle, and decided to pat your head. “you’re okay, hm? it’s okay, we have all the time you need” he comforted you with a gentle kiss on your cheek and hugged you while you let out more tears. your sobs started to become louder and your breathing quickened. you hid your face in the crook of his neck, his t-shirt started getting wet. “please, talk to me” he asked one more time “what’s wrong?”

“everything is wrong! i-i just can’t do this” you sobbed. he didn’t answer, letting you more time to continue. “life keeps sending me lessons b-but all i want to do is brush my teeth and shower normally… i can’t even do that! i… just can’t.” you vented

“no, you can” he said surely “you’re so strong, you can do it. you might feel like you’re dying but you’re not. it will be fine”

“that’s what i’ve been saying for years now… but it keeps worsening” you tried to catch your breath between your sobs and cries “my family, myself… what it’s wrong with me? why am i like this?”

“like what, y/n?” he asked sweetly, analyzing your face all the time “like horrible!” you yelled, and when you watched his face you tried to calm down. “not even my own family likes me, chris” you whispered.

“let it go. it’s not your fault. you can let it go, love” chris said, connecting his eyes with yours. “it is-“ you were interrupted by him “no, it is not. it’s been years and it hasn’t changed because you don’t want to let go. you don’t feel capable and keep punishing yourself. but i don’t believe that time will change your mind. in other words, i know they won’t hurt you anymore as long as you can let them go”

“but i’m so sorry for them…” you tried your words to make sense, but they just didn’t.

“you don’t have to be sorry for leaving and growing up. anywhere you go, you don’t need a reason ‘cause they never showed you love. y/n, you don’t have so be sorry for doing it on your own”

after half an hour of crying, your breathing calmed down and his arms felt more comfortable than they ever had. your eyes felt heavier each time and chris noticed. though your cheeks were still wet and you eyes were still red, something felt different. you felt better, your chest didn’t hurt anymore, it was easy to breath. chris kissed your face sweetly and when you smiled at him, he did the same.

“my beautiful girl” he whispered next to your ear. “let’s go to sleep” he then lifted you up and carried you to your bedroom. he grabbed one of his sweaters and put it on you, to later open the bed and get you inside.

“thank you. i’m sorry” you sighed. “you don’t have to be sorry” he said gently, to kiss your face multiple times and later cuddle with you

“i love you” you muttered. you waited for an answer for a few minutes until you gave up until you focused on sleeping.

“i love you more”

@ straycidio 230709

#bang chan #bangchan fluff #bangchan angst #skz angst #skz fluff #skz imagines #skz scenarios #skz x reader #stray kids #skz #bangchan x reader

39 notes · View notes

straycidio · 11 months

Text

JEONGIN — 아이엔