storywonker

[storywonker]

i was cuddling with my boyfriend last night when his shoulder started tensing up (like he was readjusting or gently pushing me off) and when i asked him if he was okay or needed me to move or something he went “no you’re fine, i was just imagining myself pulling a large rope. i didn’t even realize my shoulder was doing that lmao” then refused to elaborate and i have never been as attracted to him as i was in that moment.

[storywonker]

if some asshole hurt himself because you turned him down that's on him not you. you don't have to take him to the ER you have to get yourself some place safe

Organ Rejection

Large Bastard is a transplant patient and is experiencing symptoms of *organ rejection* and I need to drive him to the hospital to have a biopsy.

#incredible

[storywonker]

she had knees in all the wrong places

[storywonker]

What's the punishment for breaking the laws of physics?

10-15 years in prism.

[storywonker]

back in the day medieval times was so big it covered all of europe. now its so small it fits in some restaurants

[storywonker]

My one friend group can't stop saying, "See you in hell!" in a cheerful voice instead of, "Talk to you later!" and my other friend group can't stop calling things "penis" instead of "cool" or "good", so I just unironically uttered the phrase, "Sounds penis, see you in hell," as I got off the phone.

[storywonker]

#lmaooooooooo

[storywonker]

Isn’t this that daft punk song

[storywonker]

as far as i'm concerned all gore is necessary

[storywonker]

Father John Yogurt was defrocked from the clergy today for being asexual, following a papal ruling that "vows of chastity don't count without temptation." The Pope later commented "You gotta have that dog in you"

[storywonker]

"Guy" and "man" have different connotations with adjectival nouns. Like "tree guy" = arborist but "tree man" = he lives in a tree, or maybe he is a tree.

[storywonker]

[storywonker]

odysseus absolutely does present a threat to penelope if he perceives her as at all unfaithful, and i feel the unfairness of this, and i think people tend to undersell how much tension at least potentially exists between odysseus and penelope. but i'm also like. his reaction, all speculation aside, his actual reaction in the odyssey to her flirting with the suitors is delight, because he immediately ascertains that she is running a con. sorry that they're so in-sync in spite of the forces that try to drive a wedge between them, including their own misgiving hearts. sorry that they invented homophrosyne ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[storywonker]

6’3 as a height is so unnecessary. Get down from there

[storywonker]

[storywonker]

The Iranian Regime is going to execute rapper Toomaj Salehi for supporting protests of Jina Amini’s murder by the regime in his songs.

Iranian activist Elica Le Bon says, “Iranians in the diaspora picked up on the fact that the regime tends not to execute people who become known to the international community. We have seen many examples of prisoners that were either released on bail or had their sentences commuted through our “say their names to save their lives” campaign on social media, using hashtags to garner attention for their causes, and even before social media existed, through getting the stories of political prisoners to international media outlets. Once reported on, and once the eyes shift to the regime and the reality of its pending brutality, realizing that the action is not worth the repercussions, we have seen them back down and not execute. For that reason, this is part of an urgent campaign for readers to talk about Toomaj as much as you can, using the hashtag #FreeToomaj or #ToomajSalehi. Every comment makes a difference, and if we were wrong, what did we lose by trying?”

[storywonker]