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Today’s debate on: Am I doing vibrato or am I just that nervous

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Drum major: if you one of you guys fall off the podiums we will get new ones

Me: guess I’m the sacrifice

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Fun Drinking Game!

Take a shot whenever the trumpets do something stupid!! Oh wait- don’t do that. You would get alcohol poisoning.

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Crap I’ve heard Music Kids Say #1

“Josh get your bow out of your ear”

“No laughing in the cult”

“Teaching is just stealing stuff from people who are better than you”

“Yeah she sat on her bow and it broke”

“GUYS KIDS ARE FRICK FRACKING IN THE ORCHESTRA CLOSET”

“Trumpets… you guys suck!”

“It’s my body, so I can fat shame myself!”

“Does anyone have a lanyard? I forgot my neck strap”

“Maybe we should be communists”

“Join the spicy rebellion”

“I think we should have a mass genocide of clarinets and drumsticks and any other instrument out there that is not a trumpet”

“The trumpets have decided to protest against this discrimation and not play for a week”

“Nice ukulele” “Its a freaking viola!!!!”

“IS SNAZZY OR SAUCY A BETTER WORD?”

“If you knocked my viola out of tune I will stab you in the neck?”

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GUYS SERIOUSLY NO DRINKS IN THE BAND ROOM

Someone left an open can of soda on a sousaphone case and it spilled all over it and the instrument almost got ruined. It has to air out now with the instrument outside of it’s case. I am going to scream

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Let’s appreciate what happens in the band room

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Conductor: Who has the melody?

1st violins, raises their hands slowly:

Conductor: The world doesn’t revolve around you violins.

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Let’s appreciate that my conductor went into a dinosaur suit for Jurassic Park

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Nothing like blowing into your instrument and it making a sound and seeing the dissapointment in your BD’s eyes

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Today’s debate on: Is it spit or water?

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Random person at a concert: is that a cello?

Bass player: no it’s a violin

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On a date

Me: So how do you like violas?

Date: I mean- they’re basically violins, right? Haha

Me, stuffing my purse with breadsticks: Oh would you look at the time, I suddenly have to go

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So um… my school’s jazz band’s pieces are certainly interesting…

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Drum Major: Since this is a big game we want to be loud! That still means beautiful and not blasting trumpets…

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Cello, in my youth symphony after the conductor said nothing but water is aloud on the stage: What if I fill up a wine bottle with water and chug it during rehearsal?

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So this summer I went to orchestra camp. You had an option to stay in dorms and I chose that. The girls were roomed on one floor and the guys roomed on the floor below. A lot of people brought snacks and I had some peanut butter cookies. I had one last one, but I didn’t want it, so I asked the girls in my dorm if they wanted it, they said no :,0 Well they were talking to the guys below through the window, because I didn’t want to throw away the cookie I asked the guys below us if they wanted it. They said yeah. WELL WE CAN’T GO OUT OF THE DORMS AFTER A CERTAIN TIME. SO WE tied a bunch of lanyards together and attached a plastic bag to the chain of lanyards. And we lowered the cookies down to them. WE CHEATED THE SYSTEM YESSSS

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To the tune of tune of Justin Timberlake’s SexyBack: I’M BRINGING SAXES BACK yeAH