stillherebutwhytho

[stillherebutwhytho]

Also it's hilarious how many times TERFs have validated my gender cause any time I beef with them they assume I'm a trans woman and "he/him" me spitefully and I'm just like,,,, thank you.

#also kinda weird how alo terfs are just so on the ball when it comes to bullying people #oh this oerson is existing with opinions differing to mine? get mercilessly bullied #like seeiously im so glad i went to school with normal people

[stillherebutwhytho]

At the end of the day all TERFS want is constant access to the knowledge of what sort of genitalia every single person has. They need to know what genitals you have before talking with them so they can preemptively view you as a threat regardless of your actual actions/feelings cause obviously your ability to do harm directly correlates to how endowed with penis you are.

#if terfs find this post fuck you and fuck your bioessentialism #the only people who get to know about my genitals is my partner and doctors its no ones bussiness

[stillherebutwhytho]

It's apparently sexual assault to masturbate to the idea of someone without getting their permission first. I've been suddenly thrown back into 2015 Tumblr

#idk man if youre jerking it to a real life person who doesnt know you like that you kinda fucked up ngl #like it feels so disgusting thinking that people might be fantasising about my body in a way im severly uncomfortable with #i mean i giess theres no harm if i dont know #but with some people you can kind of tell

[stillherebutwhytho]

Polyamorous relationships are not for everyone. Monogamous relationships are not for everyone. Romantic relationships are not for everyone!!! We are all different people with different needs, maybe just stop trying to condense the human experience into a homogenous gray monolith!!! aaaaaaaa

#my only issue with polyams is when they make it seem like a mutually consented to monogamous relationship #is somehow immoral #“oh so you own your partner?” #no we agreed to be exclusive

[stillherebutwhytho]

i say this with love: yall will make yourselves feel bad about fucking anything, i swear to god. you feel bad about feeling too much. you feel bad about feeling too little. you feel bad about what makes you feel good. you feel bad about not knowing what you like. you feel bad for not being able to survive easily in a world hostile to you. you feel bad for the tactics that you use to survive. you feel bad for how you identify. you feel bad for being unique. you feel bad for experiences that you share with millions of people. you suspect that every feeling, experience, desire, fear, and question in your brain is somehow evidence that you don't deserve to exist.

i can be so so reassuring about all of these things but ultimately you are the one that's gonna have to make a conscious choice to stop measuring yourself in these ways. there is no authority who gets to determine whether you have the right to exist or not. you already do. there is no body that votes on whether you get to feel, identify, or think as you do. you already do. your existence as it is is non-negotiable. stop trying to justify yourself. you're already here. the world is going to have to deal with it anyway.

#ngl kinda hate this post #why is every mental health advice given ever just boil down to “just get over it” “control your emotions” #like gee willikers batman i could have just stopped my languishing at the direct hands of others? #like the government or my parents who definitly (or at one time) absolutely did control my life?

[stillherebutwhytho]

I can't tell if this blog is good or bad for me cause like on one hand I feel like I can shit scream without affecting people but also I feel like everytime I get into an emotion sharing spiral I'm effectively coating myself with toxic sludge and idk if that feels worse than just pretending I don't feel

#its making me add tags this is stupid #yes tumblr let me put tags on this so everyone else can see how pathatic i am

[stillherebutwhytho]

Thinking that people will stand up for me when I'm misgendered is the exact same as thinking the sky is neon green

#ie it is useless and will never happen #cause god forbid i not have to fight every single battle single handed #im so fucking tired and burnt out and stressed #and all my dysphoria is is annoying to everyone i talk to about it #even my bf things im fucking annoying when i talk about it #god im fucking useless i have zero value #low value human posts

[stillherebutwhytho]

dont kill urself until u try adderall and/or transitioning 👍

#i have nothing to loom forward to but work and death #im never going to be able to afford to marry my bf #im never gonna pull myself out of my depression hole for long enough to get my name changed #never gonna be able to afford to be on T again cause im a bitch and cant do the shots #and the gel is so expensive #if i kill myself that all ends #sure my bf and my mom would be sad but they wpuld move on eventually #just like how everyone else does when someone dies #but im also too much of a little bitch to do it so here we go languishing in misery #rigbt to the bitter fucking end

[stillherebutwhytho]

[stillherebutwhytho]

[stillherebutwhytho]

I gave you the signs, so don't be shocked when I die.

[stillherebutwhytho]

I thought I was getting better. I honestly did. But now I'm laying in bed at 4am, trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong with me and why I'm never enough.

[stillherebutwhytho]

Pretty much.

[stillherebutwhytho]

[stillherebutwhytho]

im not meant to be loved

[stillherebutwhytho]

no thanks

[stillherebutwhytho]