stellarfeelz

[stellarfeelz]

Yungblud - Tissues

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Too Much

I’m starting to think my phone’s a crutch.  

It’s found in my hand far too much.  

I glance at the news every ten minutes or so.

And the weather’s known wherever I go.

 ~  

When I’m bored I’ve got games to play.  

And there’s blogs I check every day.  

My music’s there with more to explore.  

I now have no reason to go out the door.

~

I’ve got mail and text and a video chat.

I could take selfies, but I don’t do that.

But I do like the camera and it’s often used.  

Apparently I’m sneaky, or so I’m accused.

 ~  

The flashlight illuminates the darkest of night.

And the calculator’s cool when I want numbers right.

There’s also a calendar to plan out my day.

And a G.P.S. to help guide my way.

~  

I could write a story but typing’s a pain.  

I could try my thumbs but see little to gain.  

I can search the web for whatever I choose.  

I’ve got alarms to disrupt my snooze.

~  

And there’s more I’m sure but I don’t care,

I kinda wish it wasn’t even here.  

Oh and the phone, that’s not used too much,

because I still prefer an analog touch.

 ~

This poem could go on for days on end,

I could type it all and just hit send.  

It might not be finished, but no one would know.  

Oh darn it’s ringing, I gotta go.

   ~*~  

SCK051620

[stellarfeelz]

The Maine - Bad Behavior

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Mom Jeans - What's Up?

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Neck Deep - Heartbreak Of The Century

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(x)

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Rich People: "I want to price gouge and plan obsolescence without having to worry about competition. Government, enforce my patents."

Rich People: "I want firepower to uphold my enormous wealth. Government, hire police officers with taxpayer money to protect my property from thieves and trespassers."

Rich People: "I want a source of cheap labor. Government, enforce laws against victimless actions in order to put people in prison so I can exploit them as slaves, then brand them with criminal records so they'll take any low wage job that's offered to them in the future."

Rich People: "There are homeless people existing who are not generating profit for me. Government, hire police officers with taxpayer money to arrest them for loitering, and use taxpayer money to build hostile architecture."

Rich People: "Homeless people are eating food that my business discarded, which doesn't generate profit for me. Government, hire police officers with taxpayer money to guard the dumpster."

Rich People: "Marijuana is competition for me as a pharmaceutical CEO. Government, ban marijuana."

Rich People: "I build weapons. Government, create wars and buy my weapons with taxpayer money."

Poor People: "I can't afford what I need to live. Government, financially assist me, require my employer to pay me more, or limit rich people's ability to increase prices."

Rich People: "Stop relying on government for everything and taking people's freedom!"

[stellarfeelz]

I think I was so afraid of having nothing to offer, so I gave and I gave and I gave and still felt like I wasn’t doing enough for the people around, as if burning myself away in relationships would ease the burden that it was to have me around in the first place. I associated with people who also made me feel like it was never enough, because of the familiarity of a relationship where I would have to earn love, as if it was something very, very, conditional, something I would have to pay for. And being exhausted from giving myself away, believing I didn’t have anything to offer anymore, I isolated myself, feeling ashamed, feeling like a big burden in the lives of others.

And then it hit me, finally, that those demanding people never put the same effort back in our relationship. They never saw me as good enough, but their perception doesn’t have to be my reality. I can choose to be around people who enjoy having me around because my existence is enough to them. I realized, after so many health setbacks that being sick is not a failure on my part, it doesn’t mean I am not trying to enough.

Some people will never see you for who you are, they might not see you’re worth, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t valuable or that you have nothing to add to the world. Your existence matters, and you’re enough even if you’re not as accomplished as you wished. You don’t have to prove your worth to anyone. You’re worthy because you’re alive, right here, right now. You don’t have to earn the right to occupy space, or give all you have hoping someone might finally understand you. It’s okay to just exist and you to be loved just because people appreciate the fact you’re alive.

The people who placed their highest, unreachable expectations in you were setting themselves up for disappointment because they expected perfection, and that doesn’t exist. They aren’t perfect people as well, they are probably very hurt in ways they don’t want to work on, so they lash out in other people, even though that is not fair and you didn’t deserve it.

Don’t self-sabotage yourself in fear of being vulnerable, in fear of not being enough for other people. You deserve to be seen, you deserve to be loved as you are right now, not by proving how useful you can be to someone because you’re not a machine. You’re not an object. You’re just another human, as valuable as anyone else.

You have so much love to offer, and it’s okay to seek the right people to offer it to. And I hope the day comes you realize you’re not devoid of anything because someone didn’t see your worth and treated you as disposable. Treating people like objects says there is something wrong with the way they build relationships, it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you.

If someone else treats you like you don’t matter, that is on them, and not on you. It doesn’t make their perception right, it doesn’t mean you have nothing to give, it doesn’t mean you are broken, it doesn’t make you worthless. Sometimes people don’t see you, but that doesn’t mean there is nothing there to see.

I hope the day comes when you realize you don’t have to prove yourself to earn love. I hope it comes soon. And I hope you feel like you’re enough even if you don’t have anything figured out, even if you feel lost, even if you’re sick, even if you’re lost. You are worthy as you are, just as every human is. It’s okay to just… be.

[stellarfeelz]

Grayscale - Just Right

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now i am forced to somehow un-love you. as if i never craved your touch, your kiss, or simply your presence across the room. i am forced to pretend this heart is not longing for your return. we are now two strangers who shared a past, and an imaginary future together. i am forced to dry my tears at night and make myself believe this is for the better. my arms no longer have a home. and your absence will forever torment my soul.

- dee (i am forced to forget us)

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Playboy Magazine (July 1972)

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Rupi Kaur 

(via weheartit)

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“Ten years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life, you didn’t settle for it.”

— Mandy Hale

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do you ever think about this quote by mary lambert because i think about it all the time

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The End of the F***ing World (2017)

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