squigleyssnakesfics

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said with increasing distress and volume fuck it we ball fuck it we ball fuck it we ball fuck it we ball fuck it we ball fuck it we ball fuck it we ball fuck it we ball fuck it we ball

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it’s always the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, but never the Irritating Ordeal of Being Known

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To me Kermit the Frog is like one of those characters who’s every letter of the LGBTQ+ acronym at once based on who’s looking at him. Kermit is transmasc? Sure. Kermit is a lesbian? Okay. Kermit is a gay man? Why not. Kermit is transfem? I should’ve known.

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cardinal sin….? no…. they wouldn’t…. would they?

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one fun thing about being a teacher in march 2023 is that chess is a literal epidemic among teens. we are starting to have meetings about how we can STOP teenagers from playing too much chess which is like if we were trying to figure out how to stop them from reading for fun. When i was in high school five years ago chess was nerd shit only but now it is transcending every social and language barrier and is absolutely rampant. kids aren’t on their phone texting in class anymore it’s ONLY chess.com. kids are playing chess on their phones while playing chess in real life. this is still better than tiktok because at least the kids are developing an attention span from this

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supernatural should hire me to write their episodes

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What even are tumblrs nsfw rules anymore

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I like personality quizzes in theory but in practice I just get irritated by the semantic ambiguity of literally every question. "On a spectrum from scientific to artistic what are you" motherfucker I literally wax poetic about the laws of thermodynamics where the fuck does that land on your spectrum

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it’s gardening season! please don’t plant lettuces/greens directly into the ground in an urban area or close to a building without getting a soil test. the risk of lead poisoning is very high. if you can’t afford a soil test and you must plant into the ground, try to grow something where you will only be eating the fruit and not the leaves & stems (i.e. tomatoes, cucumbers, etc) bc there’s less of a chance that heavy metals will migrate to the fruit tissues. better yet, build a raised bed or plant in pots!

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I am not joking I am not exaggerating the thirst on this fucking website for cis dudes w a lil extra fat on their chests... And the insistence on referring to those as titties and boobs and big naturals. Has made me (trans man) feel significantly better about my boobs! Everyone here sees a dude with big ol bazoonkas and goes fucking apeshit. Hell yeah. Men's tits. I got those too! Maybe they're also hot on me! Holy shit! Men's tits!

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Reblog if you write fanfic and would be totally down with your followers coming into you askbox and talking to you about your fic

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in the past 72 hours i have become an enemy to every australian on twitter

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Tumblr Redheads, I have a poll for you!

I know you probably hate me for saying this—I hate me for saying this— but please reblog for a larger sample size.

If this get enough responses I might write my Personal Interest Project for school on this matter.

This is a really creepy phenomenon and I want to know who else experienced it as young as I did. If I make more polls about this it will be under the tag “the curse of being a redhead”

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cis people are so funny like they’re just out there shaking & cowering in fear bc they can’t tell what gender someone is. relax

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And now I present to you an incredibly dumb idea I had while driving home today

Duke: *handing Dick a sweatshirt in the God ugliest shade of bright yellow possible that says BIG BIRD on it* and for you Dick I got this sweatshirt!

Dick: *clearly horrified* i- it's- it's so yellow! I thought my color was blue haha

Duke who made a bet with Jason he could get Dick to put on that god awful sweatshirt and he's not about to lose: *fake sniffling* it's okay if you don't like it... it's just yellow is my color and you know big bird is yellow and *fake sniffle then looking up at Dick like 🥹* it was dumb ill take i-

Dick: *clutching it to his chest* NO I LOVE IT *frantically tries to get it on*

Duke: *pretending to wipe his face while winking at a horrified Jason behind his hand*

Bonus:

Jason: *leaning over to Tim* remind me to never cross that kid

Tim: *not even looking up from his phone* if you're just now realizing that it's too late